Beer

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[[Image:Bent pyramid.jpg|left|thumb|The change of angle in this pyramid marks the moment that beer came to Egypt.]]
 
[[Image:Bent pyramid.jpg|left|thumb|The change of angle in this pyramid marks the moment that beer came to Egypt.]]
  
Beer is one of the world's oldest beverages, possibly dating back to the 6th millennium BC, and is recorded in the written history of ancient [[Egypt]] and Mesopotamia. The earliest Sumerian writings contain references to beer, according to [[Wikipedia]] (so you know it's true). Beer was extremely useful in providing the people of Earth with fluid that was less likely to kill them than the drinking water of the day. It also served the dual purpose of getting people drunk enough to appreciate the good things in life, rather than the hardships of living in a world without modern technology.<ref>One could argue that this is ''still'' the case today. Sometimes I feel I can't just live without tricorders, faster than light travel, teleportation, and instant cures for cancer, so I have another beer.</ref>  
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Beer is one of the world's oldest beverages, possibly dating back to the 6th millennium BC, and is recorded in the written history of ancient [[Egypt]] and Mesopotamia. The earliest Sumerian writings contain references to beer, according to [[Wikipedia]] (so you know it's true). Beer was extremely useful in providing the people of Earth with fluid that was less likely to kill them than the drinking water of the day, and was an important source of nutrients (the action of the yeast adds nutrients to the beer--note that filtering, as in most modern beers, removes those nutrients). It also served the dual purpose of getting people drunk enough to appreciate the good things in life, rather than the hardships of living in a world without modern technology.<ref>One could argue that this is ''still'' the case today. Sometimes I feel I can't just live without tricorders, faster than light travel, teleportation, and instant cures for cancer, so I have another beer.</ref>  
  
 
Beer is claimed to be the third most popular drink after [[water]] and [[fun:tea|tea]]. So if you discount [[food woo|health fads]] that only let you drink water, and the [[England|English]], it is ''the'' most popular drink in the world. It is possible that beer was essential in the formation of civilization itself.<ref>[http://www.essortment.com/all/typesofbeers_rxtn.htm Types of beers]</ref>
 
Beer is claimed to be the third most popular drink after [[water]] and [[fun:tea|tea]]. So if you discount [[food woo|health fads]] that only let you drink water, and the [[England|English]], it is ''the'' most popular drink in the world. It is possible that beer was essential in the formation of civilization itself.<ref>[http://www.essortment.com/all/typesofbeers_rxtn.htm Types of beers]</ref>

Revision as of 23:31, 10 August 2012

FrenchWiki.png
Si vous voulez cet article en français, il peut être trouvé à bière.
Beer for goats.
Were you looking for the saloon bar?

Beer is one of man's greatest inventions, after before the wheel.

Contents

History of beer

The change of angle in this pyramid marks the moment that beer came to Egypt.

Beer is one of the world's oldest beverages, possibly dating back to the 6th millennium BC, and is recorded in the written history of ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia. The earliest Sumerian writings contain references to beer, according to Wikipedia (so you know it's true). Beer was extremely useful in providing the people of Earth with fluid that was less likely to kill them than the drinking water of the day, and was an important source of nutrients (the action of the yeast adds nutrients to the beer--note that filtering, as in most modern beers, removes those nutrients). It also served the dual purpose of getting people drunk enough to appreciate the good things in life, rather than the hardships of living in a world without modern technology.[1]

Beer is claimed to be the third most popular drink after water and tea. So if you discount health fads that only let you drink water, and the English, it is the most popular drink in the world. It is possible that beer was essential in the formation of civilization itself.[2]

Beer and God

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy — not Benjamin Franklin [citation NOT needed]

Know your beer!

Stout

Beer can be split into two distinct types. Ale was developed first and is made with hops and "top fermenting" yeast (because the yeast floats near the surface during fermentation). The process of storing ale in cold conditions caused natural selection to develop bottom fermenting yeasts that produced the second distinct type; lager. We have, obviously, the Germans to thank for this.[3] Of the two, ales have a more complex flavor while lagers have a smoother and cleaner taste. There's also lambic, which despite what the Boston Beer Company says can only really be made in certain parts of Belgium on account of the bizarre menagerie of microbes living there, but because there's so little of it – and because it tastes like cough syrup – it doesn't count.

The rule of thumb is that the types are served near the temperature where they are brewed. So ale tends to be served warm – well, cellar temperature or just below – and lager is served cold. Australians serve beer below 2 degrees centigrade, at this temperature your taste buds do not function and no discernible flavours, or diacetyl, can be detected. This is possibly done intentionally, as when warmed up you regret being able to taste it. The breweries have gotten away with this for years by making advertisements mocking the British for drinking their beer warm, showing that parochialism can be used to trump science.

American "beer"

Beer was invented in 1776 by Strom Thurmond. Shortly thereafter, Benjamin Franklin drank it ALL, leaving much of America with only Kool-Aid to drink. So blame him. The result ended in all contemporary American beer being "like making love in a canoe - fucking close to water" according to infallible beer experts.

Greed

Beer is so good that certain cliques of people keep it to themselves and tell other cliques of people that it is bad for them. For example, in many parts of the world, people under a certain age are denied the wonderful beverage and told that it is bad for them. The Nazis of Germany denied the pleasure to Jews and the white men of America denied beer to slaves.

See also

Icon fun.svg For those of you in the mood, RationalWiki has a fun article about Beer.

Footnotes

  1. One could argue that this is still the case today. Sometimes I feel I can't just live without tricorders, faster than light travel, teleportation, and instant cures for cancer, so I have another beer.
  2. Types of beers
  3. Realbeer.com
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