Bill O'Reilly

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One of the

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And a dirty dozen more
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Not to be confused with O'Reilly Media, which is a publisher of computer-related books.
...cleanse the Muslim world ...
—Bill O'Reilly, on taking quotes out of context, [1]

Bill "Fuck It, We'll Do It Live!" O'Reilly (also known as "Billo", "Bill O'Really?", "Billo the Clown", "Papa Bear", and "The Frank Burns of News") is a moderately right-wing (relative to Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh) total jackass blatherer commentator on Fox News where he presents The O’Reilly Factor. He is known to be a fan of Middle Eastern food, particularly falafel (perhaps because of the word's passing resemblance and alliterative relationship to a sex act). He is also notoriously bad at phone sex - more on that later.[1][2]

He also leads (from the rear) his legions into battle every December against the vile secular progressives (despite his own sabotage to the cause), in the name of traditionally (by his definition of the term, anyway).

"If you're an act, then what am I?" —Stephen Colbert to his guest O'Reilly on The Colbert Report
"...his primary characteristic is anger. Bill gets wound up by virtually anything to the left of Mussolini, hectoring and miaowling like a wolf that's got its nuts caught on a coat hanger." —Charlie Brooker on O'Reilly's style[3]
"Someboby's got to say it. The man is Ted Baxter" —Rush Limbaugh, describing O'Reilly in a New York Times interview[4]

Contents

Loadsa videos

Bill O'Reilly phails at law

(@ 1:50+) Bill O'Reilly shows he doesn't understand that money and information are different things, that this is relevant when discussing the First Amendment, and that his lawyer colleague Megyn Kelly might actually know what she's talking about.

Bill O'Reilly phails at economics

In a display of conservative values, in 2006 Bill O Reilly claimed that according to the "Paris Business Review", France lost "billions of dollars" due to a boycott (he sees himself as the cause of). Unfortunately this suffers from the slight problem that no such publication exists and was completely made up.[5] Furthermore, if someone had actually looked over the trade data from that period, the US French imports had actually increased. [6]

Bill O'Reilly phails at world history

Keith Olbermann calls out Billo -- who, for the second time within eight months falsely claimed that 84 U.S. Army soldiers massacred German soldiers at Malmédy.[7] Of course, it was the other way around. O'Reilly did this in opposition to the photos that came out of the Abu Ghraib prison. He claimed that the U.S. military has always committed atrocities in wartime, therefore the photos were not really news. (The transcript on the Fox News website was later altered, replacing the word "Malmédy" with "Normandy.")


After actress Jessica Alba called O'Reilly "kind of an a-hole" on camera, a Fox News reporter tracked Alba down at a later event. For reasons known only to Alba, she told the reporter to "be neutral...be Sweden about it." O'Reilly then called Alba a "pinhead", claiming that she didn't know that it was Switzerland, not Sweden that was neutral in World War II. Of course, both nations were neutral in World War II. (Psst! Bill! Both were neutral in World War I, too.)

Bill O'Reilly phails at professionalism

O'Reilly disagrees vehemently with his co-host on The Radio Factor Lis Wiehl on some stuff about a Congressional hearing, then cuts off her mike and insults her while she can't respond. Classy guy, huh?


O'Reilly attacks, then defames the son of a 9/11 victim.


Billo tried to turn a drunk-driving homicide into an illegal immigration issue. Geraldo Rivera called him on it. Both blew their stacks at each other, but Billo (of course) went extra ape-shit.


And of course, who could forget this little gem from his days at Inside Edition?

Bill O'Reilly phails a critical patriotism test

Sez he don't care 'bout da Constitution. (@ 1:54)

Bill O'Reilly simply phails

O'Reilly gets his ass kicked by a 16 year-old high school junior, who knows how to read transcripts, and calls him on his enormous bullshit. Epic.

Bill O'Reilly: "Maybe I'm a coward."

O'Reilly agrees with jihadists that South Park should not have treated the Prophet Muhammad with humor. He says, "Maybe I'm a coward…" Maybe, Bill? (20 April 2010)

Andrea Makris

In October 2004, he was sued by a former Factor producer for sexual harassment. He is reported to have suggested that he phoned her and advised her to use a vibrator. The multi-million dollar suit was settled out of court. The terms are, of course, confidential, but it is believed that O'Reilly paid multi-millions of dollars to her as "hush" money.[8] [9]

Those Who Trespass

In 1998, O'Reilly published his homicidal fantasies wrote a crime novel, Those Who Trespass, about Shannon Michaels, an Irish-American TV journalist who seeks revenge for the loss of his job at Global News Network by systematically murdering everyone he holds responsible. The hitlist of this roman à clef includes a woman named Hillary and a portly gentleman named Martin Moore.

Want a better idea of what a lewd phone call from Bill O'Reilly would sound like? Listen to these excerpts from the audiobook.

See also

External links

Footnotes

  1. Amann, Joseph & Breuer, Tom. (2006). Sweet Jesus I Hate Bill O'Reilly. New York: Nation Books. Page 49.
  2. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1013043mackris16.html
  3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aEk864YrKw
  4. http://biz.yahoo.com/nytimes/080707/1194790458472.html
  5. http://mediamatters.org/items/200405020006
  6. http://www.census.gov/foreign-trade/balance/c4279.html#2006
  7. See the Wikipedia article on Malmedy Massacre.
  8. Factor Fiction on Youtube.
  9. New York: Nation Books. Page 49.
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