Breast

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*Tits
 
*Tits
 
*Funbags
 
*Funbags
 +
*Gazongas
 
*Melons
 
*Melons
 
*''Any plural noun''
 
*''Any plural noun''

Revision as of 01:59, 24 January 2009

Part of the series on

Sexuality

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The term breast refers to the upper ventral region of an animal’s torso, particularly that of mammals, including human beings. The breasts of a female mammal’s body contain the mammary glands, modified immune glands which were once used to cover eggs with a protective fluid, but which now secrete milk used to feed infants. This article deals with the human breast.

Breasts are more visible on adult women, but male humans also have breasts which, although usually less prominent, are structurally identical (homologous) to the female, as they develop embryologically from the same tissues. This also leads to the phenomenon whereby men, given enough stimulation, can produce milk from the glands that are still present behind the nipple (the only visible indication that male and female breast tissue is related). When male breasts become large, they are referred to as "man boobs," "manmarries," "moobs," or "moobies." The technical term for moobies is "gynecomastia."

Contents

Breasts in public

For some reason the display of womens' breasts is considered to be a crime in most jurisdictions. This is considered to be unfair by some women who have formed the Topfree Equal Rights Association (TERA)[1] to further their cause. The usual explanation for this is that the sight of an uncovered female breast will cause actual physical damage to the soul of any child who's eating solid food, or any male not married to the owner of the breast in question. Marriage is believed by proponents of this assertion to somehow neutralize this terrible moral risk. fnord


Breasts in private

In the privacy of the home, or more likely, a private booth at an extortionately overpriced club, women are free, or paid, to expose their breasts for the enjoyment of others. The others most frequently be those possessing a Y chromosome and a thick, heavy wallet. There are numerous theories as to why the male of the homo sapiens species finds breasts attractive to the point that they would happily cause a car crash should they see any bared by the side of a busy road. One theory is that they evolved to give the male of the species something to look at and play with during intercourse when the species evolved from reproducing primarily in the "doggie" position to the considerably more Christian "missionary" position.

Common names/euphemisms for breasts

In order to avoid sounding like a twerp or a writer of soft-core erotic fiction, the English language has developed many eyphemisms for breasts. In no particular order, these are some examples:

  • Norks
  • Honkers
  • Tits
  • Funbags
  • Gazongas
  • Melons
  • Any plural noun
  • Boobs
  • Boobies
  • Bristols (UK rhyming slang: Bristol Cities: Titties)

See also


Footnotes

  1. Topfree homepage
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