Creep shaming
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{{cquote|Arguably, the [[whambulance|worst thing a woman can say to a man]], short of false accusations of [[rape]], battery, molestation or sexual harassment, is the word "creep."|||"John the Other"<ref name=privilege>''A Voice for Men'', [http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/feminist-lies-feminism/use-of-the-word-%E2%80%9Ccreep%E2%80%9D-demonstrates-female-privilege/ "Use of the Word “Creep” Demonstrates Female Privilege"], John the Other, March 6, 2011.</ref>}} | {{cquote|Arguably, the [[whambulance|worst thing a woman can say to a man]], short of false accusations of [[rape]], battery, molestation or sexual harassment, is the word "creep."|||"John the Other"<ref name=privilege>''A Voice for Men'', [http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/feminist-lies-feminism/use-of-the-word-%E2%80%9Ccreep%E2%80%9D-demonstrates-female-privilege/ "Use of the Word “Creep” Demonstrates Female Privilege"], John the Other, March 6, 2011.</ref>}} | ||
| − | "'''Creep shaming'''" is [[shaming]] someone by pointing out that their behavior is creepy. Creepy behavior includes a wide range of behaviors considered detestable, <ref> | + | "'''Creep shaming'''" is [[shaming]] someone by pointing out that their behavior is creepy. Creepy behavior includes a wide range of behaviors considered detestable,<ref>www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/creep</ref> but specifically in this context creep shaming involves such things as propositioning people one desires sexually persistently or disrespectfully (usually in inappropriate contexts e.g. public transportation), assuming they are looking for attention, failing to read obvious body language (ie., head down, reading a book, listening to music) and trying to start up a conversation, and failing to take "no" for an answer. |
The term is a takeoff on "[[slut shaming]]," and is used to suggest that the man is being made to feel ashamed just for being male rather than the specific context of how he has behaved, and that the women shaming him are saying that they don't want men to flirt with women at all. Needless to say, this is [[bullshit]], since the implication is that, um... creepiness ''isn't bad'', or something. The concept of creep shaming and the baggage that goes along with it is a classical [[false dilemma]], men and women can flirt without being creepy. | The term is a takeoff on "[[slut shaming]]," and is used to suggest that the man is being made to feel ashamed just for being male rather than the specific context of how he has behaved, and that the women shaming him are saying that they don't want men to flirt with women at all. Needless to say, this is [[bullshit]], since the implication is that, um... creepiness ''isn't bad'', or something. The concept of creep shaming and the baggage that goes along with it is a classical [[false dilemma]], men and women can flirt without being creepy. | ||
Revision as of 15:23, 13 April 2014
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“”Arguably, the worst thing a woman can say to a man, short of false accusations of rape, battery, molestation or sexual harassment, is the word "creep."
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| —"John the Other"[1] |
"Creep shaming" is shaming someone by pointing out that their behavior is creepy. Creepy behavior includes a wide range of behaviors considered detestable,[2] but specifically in this context creep shaming involves such things as propositioning people one desires sexually persistently or disrespectfully (usually in inappropriate contexts e.g. public transportation), assuming they are looking for attention, failing to read obvious body language (ie., head down, reading a book, listening to music) and trying to start up a conversation, and failing to take "no" for an answer.
The term is a takeoff on "slut shaming," and is used to suggest that the man is being made to feel ashamed just for being male rather than the specific context of how he has behaved, and that the women shaming him are saying that they don't want men to flirt with women at all. Needless to say, this is bullshit, since the implication is that, um... creepiness isn't bad, or something. The concept of creep shaming and the baggage that goes along with it is a classical false dilemma, men and women can flirt without being creepy.
Contents |
Making women vulnerable
The "anti-creep shaming campaign" is about discouraging women from protecting themselves from harm. A woman sometimes intuitively feels she is not safe with a creepy man but is made to feel guilty about acting on this feeling. "it's a really freaking dangerous idea to twist a woman's open, honest communication about her boundaries/expectations into ‘creep shaming' that victimizes men." (Jessica Wakeman)[3]
An example which had some impact in the blogosphere in 2012 occurred when blogger Jessica Wakeman posted an "open letter" about a bad dating experience which had cuilminated in her being called "mean and bitchy" as well as "crazy."[4] In the comments thread, one reader posted a lengthy comment very much taking the man's side and explaining his behaviour as a response to feeling "creep shamed."[5] Wakemen responded to this comment in her next blog, entitled "Why 'Creep Shaming' Is Total BS," again prompting hostile comments from MRA supporters.[6] Other bloggers picked up on this issue, exploring the phenomenon of creep shaming as well as connotations of the word "creep" itself.[7]
Who complains
According to the men's rights activists, misogynists, and other frustrated male cranks who coined the phrase, creep shaming is a weapon that women (or feminists in particular) use to persecute men, and an example of female "privilege."
An example of this delusional worldview can be seen in this comment posted on Reddit in 2011,[8] which has since become a popular talking point in both MRA and feminist circles:
“”Creep shaming is probably one of the most insidious and anti-equality things you can do. The ability to label men as "creepy" is just one privilege that women enjoy, and a constant source of fear of ostracizing that all men must fear in our society.
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The people who like to throw the term around tend to be bitter, lonely misogynists with a history of constant rejection and a near-total lack of self-awareness, they therefore avoid paying attention to the whole context of what "creepiness" is. The term 'creep' describes effectively when someone has overstepped someone else's boundaries and may make it hard to avoid reflecting on the impact of this behavior. A person can only stop being a creep by genuinely respecting others and their boundaries more.
The creep shaming meme also ties in with other common ideas among such misogynists, such as a disdain for women having agency and the pick-up artist view that if your attempts at seducing a chick don't work, there must be something wrong with her and not you. The subtext is that these guys don't want to acknowledge that they may actually have some personality issues to work out before most women will show interest in them, so instead they attack women for, essentially, having standards and an instinct for self-preservation. It's essentially entitled NiceGuyism turned into a debating point.
Relationship with slut shaming
Practitioners of slut shaming and the anti-creep-shaming crowd are making the same fundamental assumption about human sexuality. Both are essentially arguments from biological determinism. Slut shaming operates under the assumption that women are not supposed to be sexually active and/or have sexual desires. Those who decry creep shaming are taking the related traditionalist argument, that the male sex-drive is all-powerful and therefore it is inappropriate to criticize "creeps" for being slaves to their genitalia: a concept which might itself be called creepy.
Footnotes
- ↑ A Voice for Men, "Use of the Word “Creep” Demonstrates Female Privilege", John the Other, March 6, 2011.
- ↑ www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/creep
- ↑ The Soapbox: Why “Creep Shaming” Is Total BS
- ↑ The Frisky, "An Open Letter To The Guy Who Called Me “Crazy”", Jessica Wakeman, April 6, 2012.
- ↑ Comment by ConfessionalID
- ↑ The Frisky, "Why “Creep Shaming” Is Total BS" Jessica Wakeman, April 6, 2012.
- ↑ Example" [1]
- ↑ Comment by AntiBigots in a Reddit thread that is rich in male butthurt.