Ed and Lorraine Warren

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The Warrens have been knocking around the hardcore woo scene since the late 1950s. Long before [[Ghost Hunters|TV plumbers]] were stumbling around in the dark screaming and saying "did you hear that?", the Warrens were visiting houses they thought were haunted. With over 50 years in the trade, they claimed to have investigated over 10,000 cases of paranormal activity. That figure is probably accurate since the "paranormal activity" they investigated consisted entirely of shit they made up.  
 
The Warrens have been knocking around the hardcore woo scene since the late 1950s. Long before [[Ghost Hunters|TV plumbers]] were stumbling around in the dark screaming and saying "did you hear that?", the Warrens were visiting houses they thought were haunted. With over 50 years in the trade, they claimed to have investigated over 10,000 cases of paranormal activity. That figure is probably accurate since the "paranormal activity" they investigated consisted entirely of shit they made up.  
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They're probably best known for publicity surrounding the "Amityville Horror"; an American family supposedly terrorized by supernatural activity turned to the Warrens (and the power of [[Jesus Christ]]) to help them repel the demonic threat; a basic story formula the Warrens would recycle (occasionally without success)<ref>[http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=QlxDAAAAIBAJ&sjid=0a0MAAAAIBAJ&pg=4125,2282036&dq=ed+lorraine+warren&hl=en Frederick Daily Leader] Sep 6, 1981</ref> again and again over the years.
  
 
Devout [[Catholic]]s, the Warrens were strictly Old School. Unlike today's crop of gadget-obsessed ghost hunters, they relied entirely on Lorraine's [[clairvoyance]] to "detect" the ghosts and prayers to Jesus to "banish" them.<ref>Instead of using expensive equipment like an EMF meter or a thermal imaging camera, Lorraine would simply announce "I feel a demon/ghost/spirit here." This saved tremendously on overhead costs.</ref> For a little extra firepower, the Warrens often brought in priests eager for a chance to [[exorcism|kick some demonic ass]]. Today, the Warren's nephew John Zaffis continues the family business of making shit up and bilking the gullible with his TV show [[Haunted Collector]].
 
Devout [[Catholic]]s, the Warrens were strictly Old School. Unlike today's crop of gadget-obsessed ghost hunters, they relied entirely on Lorraine's [[clairvoyance]] to "detect" the ghosts and prayers to Jesus to "banish" them.<ref>Instead of using expensive equipment like an EMF meter or a thermal imaging camera, Lorraine would simply announce "I feel a demon/ghost/spirit here." This saved tremendously on overhead costs.</ref> For a little extra firepower, the Warrens often brought in priests eager for a chance to [[exorcism|kick some demonic ass]]. Today, the Warren's nephew John Zaffis continues the family business of making shit up and bilking the gullible with his TV show [[Haunted Collector]].

Revision as of 01:51, 29 August 2013

Can such things be?

Paranormal

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The Twilight Zone

Ed and Lorraine Warren were demonologists and ghost hunters famed for their role in making the already crazy residents of the Amityville Horror house sound even crazier. Ed died in 2006.

Contents

Career

The Warrens have been knocking around the hardcore woo scene since the late 1950s. Long before TV plumbers were stumbling around in the dark screaming and saying "did you hear that?", the Warrens were visiting houses they thought were haunted. With over 50 years in the trade, they claimed to have investigated over 10,000 cases of paranormal activity. That figure is probably accurate since the "paranormal activity" they investigated consisted entirely of shit they made up.

They're probably best known for publicity surrounding the "Amityville Horror"; an American family supposedly terrorized by supernatural activity turned to the Warrens (and the power of Jesus Christ) to help them repel the demonic threat; a basic story formula the Warrens would recycle (occasionally without success)[1] again and again over the years.

Devout Catholics, the Warrens were strictly Old School. Unlike today's crop of gadget-obsessed ghost hunters, they relied entirely on Lorraine's clairvoyance to "detect" the ghosts and prayers to Jesus to "banish" them.[2] For a little extra firepower, the Warrens often brought in priests eager for a chance to kick some demonic ass. Today, the Warren's nephew John Zaffis continues the family business of making shit up and bilking the gullible with his TV show Haunted Collector.

Greatest hits

Amityville

In the 70s, New York couple George and Kathy Lutz invented a classic horror story over many bottles of wine.[3] The media loved the tale, and the Warrens kooky demonic embellishments helped make the subsequent book and movie as popular as disco, Rubik's Cube, and the AMC Pacer.

Werewolf

No you didn't read wrong. The Warrens claim to have exorcised a "werewolf demon" in 1983.

Smurl family

In 1986, Pennsylvania couple Jack and Janet Smurl tried to hop on board the Amityville gravy train with their own horror story of demons and spooks harassing their household. They went the Lutz's one better and claimed the demon was having sex with them. Unfortunately, even with the Warrens on hand to swear it was all true, they failed to hit the jackpot and only ended up with a crappy TV movie.

A Haunting in Connecticut

1988. The Snedeker family. A house. The Warrens. Demons. Exorcism. Book and movie.

The Conjuring

In 2013 some Hollywood development executive decided to trot out the same, tired old Warren formula for a new horror film, The Conjuring. A couple's home is supposedly a hellhole of demons and ghosts, but the Warrens come and bless the place and then everything is OK. But not before some cool special effects and a few scenes where the actress's blouse gets strategically torn.

Footnotes

  1. Frederick Daily Leader Sep 6, 1981
  2. Instead of using expensive equipment like an EMF meter or a thermal imaging camera, Lorraine would simply announce "I feel a demon/ghost/spirit here." This saved tremendously on overhead costs.
  3. Lakeland Ledger July 1979

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