Erich von Däniken
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| − | '''Erich von Däniken''' is a fantasy and science-fiction writer who has convinced himself and many others that his books are real and factual. Using his experience as the manager of a hotel, he wrote ''Chariots of the Gods?'' in 1968.<ref>[http://www.daniken.com/e/ Biography]</ref> He has gone on to write many more novels, providing hours of entertainment for rationalists everywhere. The majority of Von Däniken's claims are either [[not even wrong]] or fail Sagan's [[extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence]] test. | + | '''Erich von Däniken''' is a [[L. Ron Hubbard|fantasy and science-fiction writer who has convinced himself and many others that his books are real and factual]]. Using his experience as the manager of a hotel, he wrote ''Chariots of the Gods?'' in 1968.<ref>[http://www.daniken.com/e/ Biography]</ref> He has gone on to write many more novels, providing hours of entertainment for rationalists everywhere. The majority of Von Däniken's claims are either [[not even wrong]] or fail Sagan's [[extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence]] test. |
==''Chariots of the Gods?''== | ==''Chariots of the Gods?''== | ||
Revision as of 05:38, 27 August 2010
| The woo is out there |
| Aliens did it and ran away |
Erich von Däniken is a fantasy and science-fiction writer who has convinced himself and many others that his books are real and factual. Using his experience as the manager of a hotel, he wrote Chariots of the Gods? in 1968.[1] He has gone on to write many more novels, providing hours of entertainment for rationalists everywhere. The majority of Von Däniken's claims are either not even wrong or fail Sagan's extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence test.
Contents |
Chariots of the Gods?
In his first book, Chariots of the Gods?,[2] he claims, among other things, that aliens visited our planet thousands of years ago, lent a hand in the construction of monuments all over the world, meddled with human evolution and gave rise to religious myths. He uses as "proof":
- A map of the land beneath the ice of Antarctica
- Computer astronomy from Egyptian and Incan ruins
- A spaceport in the Andes
- Ancient navigation charts for space[3].
- Basically every ancient drawing of a humanoid figure found to date, which he claims all depict 'astronauts' despite effectively no evidence to support this claim.
The book is shot through with argument from incredulity, not-very-well-disguised racism (von Däniken seems to believe that only modern white people are capable of innovation, imagination, or great feats of engineering), and lots of random made-up bullshit. His explanation for the origin of ancient monuments such as the Egyptian pyramids or the Nazca lines fails Occam's Razor quite spectacularly, and while such feats are indeed impressive for bronze age people, one would expect a highly advanced civilization capable of interstellar travel to come up with something a little better. Moreover, if these aliens were indeed benevolent and tried to help humans (as von Däniken claims), one wonders how they got the idea that what humanity needed most were huge piles of intricately arranged rocks instead of stuff like modern medicine and energy sources. After littering the landscape with strange buildings and messing with the humans' minds, the aliens apparently vanished, leaving no trace of their technology.
The Gods Were Astronauts
Written in 2002, this book follows the tradition of including the word "God" in the title and making fanciful claims while jumping to conclusions. Von Däniken suggests that all ancient religions and myths of gods come from ancient astronauts. Among his ideas:
“”The suggestion, based on a thorough examination of ancient texts, that alien beings employed high-tech vehicles in epic aerial battles. Compelling evidence that the Gods used awesome weapons of mass annihilation, both against themselves and humankind. A radical new interpretation of evolution on Earth that contradicts both established religions and modern science.
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| —[4][Emphasis added] |
Now, no one would accuse von Däniken of plagiarism, but you've seen Stargate, right?
Fraud
In yet another stunning example of the establishment conspiring against innovative intellectuals, von Däniken was convicted for embezzlement and tax evasion shortly after the publication of Chariots. He also had to admit that he had forged some of his "ancient" artifacts allegedly depicting alien visitors.[5]
At da movies
You can't publish heaps of bullshit like these without moviemakers and TV execs taking notice. In 1970, a West German "documentary" based on the Chariots was released. During the '70s, dubbed versions were released to other countries. Rod Serling (who else?) narrated the North American release. This received an Oscar™ nomination for Best Documentary Feature. (!!!!!) [6]
Sadly, this Oscar™ nod served to embolden moviemakers around the world into revisiting von Däniken's fantasy world. Followups to Chariots include:
- Chariots of the Gods: The Mysteries Continue - an hour-long 1996 US TV special.
- A remake using new technology -- most likely in 3-D -- is scheduled for release in 2012[7]
Other movies/TV shows/straight-to-videos based on von Däniken's tomes include:
- William Shatner's Mysteries of the Gods (1987) - based on von Däniken's book Botschaft der Götter ("Embassy of the Gods")
- UFO Experience - In Search of Ancient Astronauts (1998)
- Secrets of the Millennium - In Quest of: Ancient Aliens (1999)
- Secrets of the Millennium - Aliens And Man: Where Do We Come From (1999)
- Incredible Mysteries of our Planet (2001) - a video box set focusing on Chariots, Atlantis and the Bermuda Triangle.
Refutations
To read a page-by-page refutation of Chariots of the Gods?, go out and buy The Space Gods Revealed by Thor Heyerdahl[8] and Ronald Story, 1976. Some Trust In Chariots: Sixteen Views of Erich von Däniken's 'Chariots of the Gods' (ed. Barry Thiering and Edward Castle) sold well in Australia too. (The cover tagline was "The bombshell book that goes far beyond Chariots of the Gods to reveal the startling, irrefutable truth about ancient marvels!" We're sure the woo fans were very happy.)
There are plenty of websites out there that debunk many of Von Däniken's other claims.
Difficult to refute
The main trouble with 'Chariots' is that it's so downright belly-achingly laughter-inducing that anyone trying to refute it soon becomes overcome with hysteria, with the result that the Dänikenites turn away with the smug realization that their cause is true. In addition, most readers agree with von Däniken's own claim that his work "contradicts...modern science" (see above).
See also
Footnotes
- ↑ Biography
- ↑ Original German title Erinnerungen an die Zukunft which translates as "Memories of the Future"
- ↑ http://www.legendarytimesbooks.com/product.php?productid=178&cat=0&page=1
- ↑ Legendary Times Books - note: product no longer available or disabled
- ↑ SkepticWiki: Erich von Däniken
- ↑ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- ↑ That's right, 2012! (But will it be released before the Mayan calendar ends?)
- ↑ Yep, the brass-balls anthropologist who demonstrated Polynesia could have been colonised from South America by making the trip himself, in a goddamn balsa raft. He didn't suffer cranks gladly either.