Fun:Star Wars

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(The RationalWiki Very Silly Angle)
(The RationalWiki Very Silly Angle)
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*the banhammers are turbolasers
 
*the banhammers are turbolasers
 
*[[PhilipV]] is an Imperial Officer (Admiral Ozzel, perhaps?)
 
*[[PhilipV]] is an Imperial Officer (Admiral Ozzel, perhaps?)
 +
 +
 
*[[User:Auld Nick|Auld Nick]] is Anakin Skywalker
 
*[[User:Auld Nick|Auld Nick]] is Anakin Skywalker
 
*[[User:Caius|AmesG]] is Luke (maybe?)
 
*[[User:Caius|AmesG]] is Luke (maybe?)

Revision as of 03:20, 5 February 2009

Star Wars is a series of six science fiction movies that took place [sic] a long time ago in a galaxy far, far way. Despite the fact that it took place a long time ago and really far away, most everyone was human and spoke English.

Contents

Characters

From the prequels

  • Anakin Skywalker- the main protagonist, Anakin was a snotty, unappreciative, narcissistic, megalomaniac.
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi- the sexually nonthreatening father figure.
  • Darth Sidious (Governor Palpatine)- the main antagonist, Sidious had mommy issues.
  • Master Yoda- the really sexually nonthreatening grandfather figure, Yoda originally spoke German and continued to construct the words in English sentences the same way.
  • Padmé Amidala- the love interest of Anakin, Padmé was also the love interest of every teenage male on planet Earth.

From the original trilogy

  • Luke Skywalker- the main protagonist, Luke would only have sexual relations with his sibling.
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi- still sexually nonthreatening; while waiting for young Luke to grow up, Obi-Wan spent his time meditating and surfing the galactic internet PMing Yoda.
  • Han Solo- a maverick (similar to John McCain[WTF?]), was always stroking his own Wookie
  • Darth Vader- the main antagonist, Vader enjoyed long walks on the beach, killing his generals, and editing Conservapedia.
  • Princess Leia Organa- was a snotty, unappreciative, narcissistic, megalomaniac with nice boosters. Her golden bikini scene in "Return of the Jedi" was a formative experience for many adolescent boys in the early 1980s.

The RationalWiki Angle

  • Star Wars explores how a small determined cabal of neocons Sith Lords can use an invented "crisis" to manipulate a democracy through fear into acting against its own interest, thus becoming an Evil Empire.
  • Star Wars presents a distilled version of Zoroastrianism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Christianity under a generic religion called The Force which grants magic powers to its initiates.
  • Star Wars has one of the more hilariously self-contradictory ethics systems ever: Luke is fine with slaughtering legions of Imperial troops, henchmen, and everyone on the Death Star, yet when he reaches the Emperor won't kill him because this would be "giving into the Dark Side".

The RationalWiki Very Silly Angle

  • Conservapedia is the Death Star
  • Aschlafly is the Emperor
  • TK is Darth Vader
  • Bugler is Crix Madine
  • RodWeathers is Darth Maul
  • Karajou is Grand Moff Tarkin
  • Philip J. Rayment is Kyle Katarn
  • TerryH is a Stormtrooper
  • Jinxmchue is the Stormtrooper who bangs his head
  • Conservative is the "You rebel scum!" dick who fluffs his one fucking line (forever)
  • Ed Poor is Jabba the Hutt
  • DanH is was Gold Five (Y-wing)
  • Your standard Conservapedian is a Stormtrooper
  • Your standard RationalWikian is a Rebel trooper
  • RationalWiki is Home One
  • CreationWiki is Executor
  • the banhammers are turbolasers
  • PhilipV is an Imperial Officer (Admiral Ozzel, perhaps?)


Add / delete / change as appropriate.

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