Germany
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===Roman Empire=== | ===Roman Empire=== | ||
| − | The territory presently known as Germany was once an area north of where the Roman Empire borders were located (depending on the year): from northern [[Italy]] into [[Austria]] and [[Hungary]]. The Germanic people were thought to be too unruly to rate being part of the [[Fun:Star Wars|Empire]]. In actuality it was the cold weather and the large Germanic women that prevented the spread of the Romans. It was not until the fall of the Roman Empire | + | The territory presently known as Germany was once an area north of where the Roman Empire borders were located (depending on the year): from northern [[Italy]] into [[Austria]] and [[Hungary]]. The Germanic people were thought to be too unruly to rate being part of the [[Fun:Star Wars|Empire]]. In actuality it was the cold weather and the large Germanic women that prevented the spread of the Romans. It was not until the fall of the Roman Empire that all the Germanic tribes started to come together and produce that fine pilsner brew that is enjoyed by all. |
===Holy Roman Empire=== | ===Holy Roman Empire=== | ||
Revision as of 21:13, 17 August 2009
Germany is a (relatively) young country in Europe. Germany is Europe's economic powerhouse, with a GDP of $2.807 trillion, it makes the French government want to pre-emptively start surrendering and teach grade school children the German language. Germany has a 2007 estimated population of 82,369,552.[1]
Contents |
History
Roman Empire
The territory presently known as Germany was once an area north of where the Roman Empire borders were located (depending on the year): from northern Italy into Austria and Hungary. The Germanic people were thought to be too unruly to rate being part of the Empire. In actuality it was the cold weather and the large Germanic women that prevented the spread of the Romans. It was not until the fall of the Roman Empire that all the Germanic tribes started to come together and produce that fine pilsner brew that is enjoyed by all.
Holy Roman Empire
“”This agglomeration which was called and which still calls itself the Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire.
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| —Voltaire |
After the fall of the Roman Empire, a new one was made out of papal hubris when the Pope, who had apparently been drinking too much German beer and mistaken Aachen for Rome, crowned a German king Holy Roman Emperor.
This empire lasted for roughly a thousand years before the last emperor, under pressure from Napoleon, abdicated the imperial throne in 1806. This later became a major Nazi talking point, as the Nazis wanted to repeat this success.
Renaissance
Germany made more beer. The Germans drank said beer.
Industrial age
Germany first started to become united by the process of nationalism in the nineteenth century when it was the cultural center of Europe, producing several notable philosophers and artists, such as Immanuel Kant and Richard Wagner, both of whom enjoyed consuming the beer at Oktoberfest in München (Munich) and a little playful banter with the original St. Pauli Girl.
Twentieth century
However, after losing World War I, and suffering humiliating and exorbitant reparation payments, Germany came under the sway of the fascist Nazi party. After they managed to conquer most of their neighbors, the combined might of the allied forces finally crushed Germany at the end of World War II and partitioned it between the United States, France, Great Britain, and the Soviet Union. The first three sectors recombined to form West Germany, while the Soviet-occupied portion was known as East Germany, and the country remained divided during the Cold War.
After the collapse of European communism and the fall of the Berlin Wall, many feared that a newly-reunited Germany would mirror the militaristic country that had existed prior to World War II. However, Germany has thus far proved itself to be a vibrant member of the international community with strong commitments to peace, multilateralism, and beer.
Government
Germany's current government is a federal republic divided into 16 states or Bundesländer. The current head of state is President Horst Köhler; the current head of government is Chancellor Angela Merkel. Both belong to the center-right Christian Democratic Union.
The German constitution is called the Basic Law, because it was formulated for West Germany only, and the Germans intended to make a new constitution if the country was unified again. However, when reunification did happen, the Basic Law was simply extended to cover East Germany as well, with a few amendments.
The Basic Law (together with the Law on the Federal Constitutional Court) puts tighter restrictions on political parties than exist in many countries: the constitutional court of Germany is allowed to ban any "anti-constitutional" party. This provision has been used to ban both communist and neo-Nazi parties; recently, an attempt was made to ban the neo-Nazi National Democratic Party (NPD), but the attempt was derailed when it turned out that a significant number of the NPD brass were in fact government informants rather than actual party members. In considering the evidence presented against the NPD, the Court decided it was effectively impossible to distinguish between genuine party material and material influenced by outsiders,[2] and voted to dismiss the case without ruling on the ban.
Homeschooling is not permitted in Germany, except in a very limited number of circumstances, which causes all the raving loonies reporters over at WorldNetDaily to get their knickers in a twist whenever someone is prosecuted for doing it.
German humour
Contrary to popular belief, German humour does exist, and it is as diverse as you can expect it from a country of 82 million people.
It deals with many of the same topics that English humour does, but has its own characteristics.
- National minorities: "Ossi(e)s" (People from East Germany, the former GDR), "Ostfriesen" (East Frisians, who are portrayed as naive and/or stupid), Bayern (Bavarians) and so forth.
- National stereotypes, for example about Dutch drivers who block the Autobahn with their caravans.
- Gender jokes about stupid women and primitive men.
- Mothers-in-law.
- Government and politicians, both in the form of simple jokes and elaborate political cabaret.
- Dead babies
- "Beamtenwitze", jokes about state officials.
- Two state officials meet in the corridor. One of them asks "Can`t sleep as well, eh?"
- "Blondinenwitze", jokes about blond women, who are said to be extraordinarily stupid.
- What`s a blond woman with dyed hair? Artificial intelligence.
- Chuck Norris facts.
- "Bauernregeln", "peasants' (or farmers') rules". While there are, of course, lots of serious rules that may or may not be correct, there are at least as many nonsensical variants.
- "Kräht der Hahn hoch auf dem Mist, dann ändert sichs Wetter oder es bleibt wie`s ist." "When the rooster crows on the dungheap, then the weather will change, or stay as it is."
- Absurd humour. "Nachts ist es kälter als draußen" "At night, it is colder than outside". Yes, that is the actual translation, and no, it doesn`t make any sense in German, either.
- Nazi jokes, which may or may not be perceived as offensive, depending on whom you are talking to.
The main difference between German humour and its English counterpart is that German humour contains fewer plays on words. Since German is a language with strict rules, it doesn`t allow much freedom to re-arrange sentences and it doesn`t contain nearly as many double meanings as the English language does.
See also
External links
- Wikipedia on German humor
- The Guardian on the same topic
- Notfunnycartoons.com An English translation of a popular german webcomic.
References
- ↑ https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/gm.html
- ↑ Rather like the situation with the Conservapedia sysops.