Goat

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<div style="margin-left: 60px;">For those who seek a broader, less sexy article, [[Wikipedia]] has a page about [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goats goats]
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The '''domestic goat''' (''Capra hircus'') was one of the earliest domesticated animals.  The species is believed to have been first domesticated around 10-12,000 years ago in both the Zagros Mountains of modern-day Iran and in Anatolia along the Euphrates River.
 
The '''domestic goat''' (''Capra hircus'') was one of the earliest domesticated animals.  The species is believed to have been first domesticated around 10-12,000 years ago in both the Zagros Mountains of modern-day Iran and in Anatolia along the Euphrates River.
  

Revision as of 18:47, 5 June 2007

Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those who seek a broader, less sexy article, Wikipedia has a page about goats

The domestic goat (Capra hircus) was one of the earliest domesticated animals. The species is believed to have been first domesticated around 10-12,000 years ago in both the Zagros Mountains of modern-day Iran and in Anatolia along the Euphrates River.

Goats are believed to have been domesticated in this exceptionally peaceful area of the world. Or the Garden of Eden.

Contents

Goat Uses

Domestic goat (Capra hircus). The brown one is Stacey

Conservative Christians often buy goats for Malawi orphans[1] whereas liberals like Madonna prefer to keep Malawi orphans as household pets [2]. Goats also have pretty eyes and some have beautiful eyelashes.

Eating

There's good eating on a goat. Goats' milk is good for making cheese.[3]

Poetry

Goat rhymes with many words: boat, coat, creosote, d'oh (t), moat, note, rote, symbiote, tote, prokaryote, scrote and vote. See, for example, Kipling's "By the Hoof of the Wild Goat" which uses none of the above words. "Tom Murphy's Goat", by Oliver Thomas, rhymes it with "throat"...twice. But it's Australian.[4]

Marriage

There has been much debate about what term to use for the union of goat and (usually) man. Some have opposed "marriage" as diluting the traditionally non-beastial nature of the institution.[5] Also, many oppose granting spousal rights to goats. Others have proposed "covenant" unions, in which the relationship cannot be broken (except in times of famine).

Sometimes it has been necessary to use the law to help men "do the right thing". After being caught having relations with a goat named Rose, a Sudanese man was obliged to marry her.[6] Unfortunately the BBC has recently been reported that the goat has died after choking on a plastic bag.[7] The goat was apparently female so, to the relief of many, there is no suggestion that the relationship may have been homosexual.

Creationist Views on Goats

God made goats out of leftover cow parts on the sixth day of Creation, similar to the process still used for making hot dogs. Goats are specifically mentioned in the Bible, therefore we know them to exist. God regularly calls for goats to be sacrificed on altars by having their throats cut and blood drained. It is still a mystery as to what goats did to become the object of God's loving wrath. Noah brought two goats onto the Ark, but unfortunately, the male goat was gay. Noah implemented a program of reparative therapy. The goats were able to live an appropriate lie and were fruitful and multiplied. Creationists believe that goats co-existed with dinosaurs, since goats appear in historic hieroglyphs.

Goatman

Jann reported seeing a goatman in Texas under his pecan tree in January 2002. Jann reports that this is unusal since there are no goats in this region of Texas.[8]

Chupacabra

We shall not speak of it.

Goats in Popular Culture

Goats, goat parts and goat-like creatures were shown or mentioned in all 1,328 episodes of The X-Files.

References

  1. A Ministry of Hope in Malawi
  2. Madonna takes custody of Malawian baby
  3. http://www.rationalwiki.com/index.php?title=Category:Recipe
  4. http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewpoetry.asp?id=190979
  5. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santorum_controversy
  6. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4748292.stm
  7. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6619983.stm
  8. http://paranormal.about.com/library/blstory_november04_29.htm
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