Hawaii

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(Hawaii in Hawaiian, or, Hawaiians on Hawaii: -_-)
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[[image:HI winner.gif|thumb|Hai!<br/>("Aloha", you mean!)<br/>("Howzit", you both mean!)]]
 
[[image:HI winner.gif|thumb|Hai!<br/>("Aloha", you mean!)<br/>("Howzit", you both mean!)]]
{{cquote|Hawaii has always been<!-- bad grammar intentional --> a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is ''in'' the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.  You can ''see'' the Pacific from Hawaii.|||James Danforth Quayle}}
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{{cquote|Hawaii has always been<!-- bad grammar intentional --> a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is ''in'' the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.  You can ''see'' the Pacific from Hawaii.|||James Danforth Quayle<ref>[http://www.jokes2go.com/lists/list77.html Stupid things said by Dan Quayle]</ref>}}
  
'''Hawaii''' (also spelled "Hawai'i") was the fiftieth state to join the [[United States]].  It was once an independent country, but during the age of colonialism became a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Dole fruit empire.  Subsequently, due to its proximate location, it became what made the most sense - an American state.
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'''Hawaii''' (also spelled "Hawai'i") was the fiftieth state to join the [[United States]].  It was once an independent country, but during the age of colonialism became a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Dole fruit empire.  Subsequently, due to its proximate location, it became what made the most sense - an American state. The word "wiki" comes from "wiki wiki", Hawaiian for "quickly".
  
 
==Land and people of the islands of Hawaii==
 
==Land and people of the islands of Hawaii==
 
Historically, the original name of the Hawaiian islands was the '''[[Fun:Sandwich#Other_Sandwiches|Sandwich]] Islands''', named for the Earl of Sandwich, sponsor of Captain Cook (distant relative of Popeye). Upon arrival, Captain Cook met King Kamehameha I (pronounced Ka'may-ha'may-ha). That night, the locals and the sailors had a luau where all the sailors got leid by the local women. In appreciation for the locals' hospitality, Captain Cook brought more white people, allowed the King to take a permanent leave of absence, impregnated the women, and introduced a new religion.
 
Historically, the original name of the Hawaiian islands was the '''[[Fun:Sandwich#Other_Sandwiches|Sandwich]] Islands''', named for the Earl of Sandwich, sponsor of Captain Cook (distant relative of Popeye). Upon arrival, Captain Cook met King Kamehameha I (pronounced Ka'may-ha'may-ha). That night, the locals and the sailors had a luau where all the sailors got leid by the local women. In appreciation for the locals' hospitality, Captain Cook brought more white people, allowed the King to take a permanent leave of absence, impregnated the women, and introduced a new religion.
  
==Hawai’i-Emperor Seamount Chain==
 
All of the islands, as well as a trail of seamounts to the northwest of Hawai’i that either failed to break the surface or were submerged due to erosion or rising sea levels, were created by the same hotspot and are evidence of that pesky [[plate tectonics]] theory which [[Young earth creationism|cannot possibly be true]].
 
 
===Lo’ihi===
 
This is the newest island of Hawaii, forming off the southeastern coast of BI.  It is slowly being built, currently 975m from sea level, and is currently classified as a seamount, much like the rest of the Hawaii-Emperor Seamount chain.  It will become an island sometime in the next 100,000 years, assuming [[Global warming|ocean levels don't rise in the same time period]].  Thermal vents around the mount are host to many chemosynthetic microbial organism colonies which were clearly put their by [[God]] and not from some form of [[abiogenesis]].
 
 
==Hawaii in modern culture==
 
*Most notably in this context, "wiki" comes from "wiki wiki", Hawaiian for "quickly".
 
*''Hawaii Five-O'' had awesome surf-style theme music, and atrociously wooden "acting".
 
*''Magnum, P.I.'' is the greatest TV show of all time.
 
  
 
==Notable Hawaiians==
 
==Notable Hawaiians==
*Don Ho
 
 
*Mauna Loa (not a person, it's a damn volcano!)
 
*Mauna Loa (not a person, it's a damn volcano!)
 
*Mauna Kea (not her sister, it's another damn volcano!)
 
*Mauna Kea (not her sister, it's another damn volcano!)
 
*Hale akala (not the auntie, it's yet another damn volcano!)
 
*Hale akala (not the auntie, it's yet another damn volcano!)
*Stitch
 
 
*[[Barack Obama]]
 
*[[Barack Obama]]
  
 
==Footnotes==
 
==Footnotes==
<references/>
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{{reflist}}
 
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{{nostub}}
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[[Category:United States states]]
 
[[Category:United States states]]

Revision as of 18:36, 12 May 2012

Hai!
("Aloha", you mean!)
("Howzit", you both mean!)
Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here. You can see the Pacific from Hawaii.
—James Danforth Quayle[1]

Hawaii (also spelled "Hawai'i") was the fiftieth state to join the United States. It was once an independent country, but during the age of colonialism became a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Dole fruit empire. Subsequently, due to its proximate location, it became what made the most sense - an American state. The word "wiki" comes from "wiki wiki", Hawaiian for "quickly".

Land and people of the islands of Hawaii

Historically, the original name of the Hawaiian islands was the Sandwich Islands, named for the Earl of Sandwich, sponsor of Captain Cook (distant relative of Popeye). Upon arrival, Captain Cook met King Kamehameha I (pronounced Ka'may-ha'may-ha). That night, the locals and the sailors had a luau where all the sailors got leid by the local women. In appreciation for the locals' hospitality, Captain Cook brought more white people, allowed the King to take a permanent leave of absence, impregnated the women, and introduced a new religion.


Notable Hawaiians

  • Mauna Loa (not a person, it's a damn volcano!)
  • Mauna Kea (not her sister, it's another damn volcano!)
  • Hale akala (not the auntie, it's yet another damn volcano!)
  • Barack Obama

Footnotes

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