Hell
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The same conservatives are predictably outraged by the use of "hell" or "damn" as casual curse words. In 1997, Kleberg County, [[Texas]], officially declared the nonsense word "Heaveno" to be the county's preferred form of greeting, in preferance to the hellish "hello". In fact "hello" is not in any way etymologically related to hell. | The same conservatives are predictably outraged by the use of "hell" or "damn" as casual curse words. In 1997, Kleberg County, [[Texas]], officially declared the nonsense word "Heaveno" to be the county's preferred form of greeting, in preferance to the hellish "hello". In fact "hello" is not in any way etymologically related to hell. | ||
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| + | ==Small '''h''' controversy== | ||
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| + | During a discussion at [[Conservapedia]] about hell's role in the Bible, [[Philip J. Rayment]] responded to [[Andrew Schlafly]] with a [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Disputed_Biblical_Translations&diff=prev&oldid=581919 comment] which included the word "hell" with a lower case "h", probably as a typing error. Schlafly [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Disputed_Biblical_Translations&diff=next&oldid=582324 replied], initially also including the small-h "hell", before [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Disputed_Biblical_Translations&diff=next&oldid=582328 correcting] this and pointing out that "Hell" should be capitalised. Subsequently he used Rayment's initial use of "hell" as a [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk%3ADisputed_Biblical_Translations&diff=582784&oldid=582727 tool] in the debate, claiming that it indicated a [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk%3ADisputed_Biblical_Translations&diff=582947&oldid=582942 denial] of hell's existence. Before long, spelling "hell" with a small "h" had entered Schlafly's stock list of [http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Image:Wigo870_3.png "liberal positions".] | ||
== Other uses of Hell == | == Other uses of Hell == | ||
Revision as of 15:54, 11 January 2009
- The correct title of this article is Hell. It appears incorrectly here because of liberal deceit.
Hell is a small village in Nord-Trøndelag, Norway.
Hell is four-fifths of the way to saying "hi" to someone.
Hell is also the name of a crater on the moon.[1]
You can also find a couple of swiss Hells in the Jura canton of Switzerland under the French name Les Enfers (the hells), lots of horses, cows, trees, and grass there, not far away from a nice kayaking place also.
In the United States, if someone tells you to "go to Hell", they probably mean the village in Livingston County, Michigan. Hell is located just north of the Washtenaw County line, about 15 miles northwest of Ann Arbor and about three miles southwest of Pinckney, the nearest town. Alternatively, they could mean Los Angeles.
Contents |
An analogy
Dogs are naturally carnivores, but you make a rule which says they must eat grapes alone. At a time of your choosing, you take any dog which obeys your rule to only eat grapes and let them run free in Napa Valley forever. But the dogs which continued to eat meat, according to their created nature, are taken to a well-furnished torture chamber to be "punished". They are kept alive forever, as each of their nerves are destroyed one micron at a time starting from the end, and regenerated as the torment goes along so it can begin again. And none of these unfortunate dogs are ever allowed to warn their pals on the outside. No one calls you a sadistic tormentor of helpless animals. They call you an omnibenevolent deity.
The fairness of hell
Suppose someone died 6,000 years ago and went to hell. They will be always 6,000 years ahead of an unsaved person who dies today. Some people believe 6,000 years of extra torture is unfair of God.
However, the concept of limits from calculus reveals that hell is indeed quite fair. When another six thousand years have passed, the first person will have 12,000 years of torture, and the second will have 6,000 years of torture. That means the first person will have twice as much torture as the second person. Another six thousand years after that, the first person will have 18,000 years of torture, and the second person will have 12,000 years of torture. That means the first person will have (18,000/12,000)= 1.5 times as much torture as the second person.
Now suppose a million years have gone by. The first person will have 1,006,000 years of torture, divided by the million years of torture of the second person, for a ratio of 1.006. You see that as we approach infinity, the amount of torture the second person suffers approaches the same amount of torture the first person suffers. So hell is fair of God after all.
hell in the Bible
It seems that there is only one reference to hell to be found in the Bible. [2] This means that all the other references to it come from somewhere else. Anyway, James 3:6 says:
It goes on to say some more fun things about tongues, but no more about hell.
Fundamentalists and hell
Christian fundamentalists and other religious conservatives place a very heavy emphasis on hell, as the ultimate destination of anybody who does not adhere to their very precise interpretations of doctrine and morality. Some, like Andrew Schlafly at Conservapedia claim that Jesus Christ emphasised hell more than Heaven,[4] and lament that hell is not mentioned enough times in modern Bible translations.[5]
The same conservatives are predictably outraged by the use of "hell" or "damn" as casual curse words. In 1997, Kleberg County, Texas, officially declared the nonsense word "Heaveno" to be the county's preferred form of greeting, in preferance to the hellish "hello". In fact "hello" is not in any way etymologically related to hell.
Small h controversy
During a discussion at Conservapedia about hell's role in the Bible, Philip J. Rayment responded to Andrew Schlafly with a comment which included the word "hell" with a lower case "h", probably as a typing error. Schlafly replied, initially also including the small-h "hell", before correcting this and pointing out that "Hell" should be capitalised. Subsequently he used Rayment's initial use of "hell" as a tool in the debate, claiming that it indicated a denial of hell's existence. Before long, spelling "hell" with a small "h" had entered Schlafly's stock list of "liberal positions".
Other uses of Hell
The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for those who believe in it. Furthermore, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for those who believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't.[6]
In vandalism
Royal Dutch Shell gas station signs used to include the SHELL name spelled out. When modified in just the right way by a mischevious kid with a slingshot and too much time on his hands...
On your pocket calculator
7734
- As a kid my folk's cars license plate number was 7733, causing endless amounts of giggling and "add 1" and "7734 to you" and that sort of thing. This, by the way, pre-dated calculators by several decades so let's give credit where credit is due. This discovery (7734) was a Luddite invention, okay?
In sports
H E double hockey sticks (often referred to as the Canadian variation.)
In Jack Chick comics
In every goddamned one of them somewhere. With someone screaming YAAAAAAAH!
Hell and Pope Benedict XVI
After decades or centuries of leaving hell alone, Pope Benedict XVI decided to reinstate the doctrine of a real hell (not abstract or metaphorical) and to eliminate limbo, thereby condemning every non-Catholic to perpetual torture in the fires of hell.
This has the very practical effect of reducing the standing of all men and women that are not under the Pope's authority to the category of damned souls, unworthy of treatment as equals and clear candidates for the missionary efforts of the Pope and his sycophants.
Gone are the times when Pope John Paul II sat side by side with representatives of every major religion in the world and talked about hell as a state of mind.
Pope Benny's infernal flip-flop followed a poll of 2,455 U.S. adults taken from Nov 7 to 13, 2007, which found that 62 percent believed in a literal hell. Only 42 percent of those surveyed said they believed in Darwin's theory of evolution.
See also
External Links
- Hell (Atheism Wiki Article)
- Where in hell might YOU be going?
Footnotes
- ↑ Named after a priest, no less!
- ↑ Hartdegen, Fr. Stephen J., General Editor, Nelson's Complete Concordance of the New American Bible, G.R. Welch Co., Ltd., Toronto, Canada
- ↑ The Holy Bible: The New Oxford Annotated Bible, Revised Standard Version Containing the Old Testament and New Testament, Oxford University Press, New York, 1973
- ↑ Comment here.
- ↑ As outlined here. See also Conservapedia:Bible rewriting project.
- ↑ Honest Book of Truth; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1