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Homeschoolers come in at least three flavors: chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla

  • Children of aging hippies who prefer to not have their kids indoctrinated by the man in the crass ways of consumerist materialism.
  • Children with special needs (gifted or otherwise) whose parents feel they can a provide better learning environment themselves.
  • Children of fundamentalist Christians who are horrified that their kids might learn about evolution, or some other materialist, Bible-rejecting devil-inspired science or literature. These children not only don't get any, they don't know what "getting any" means.
  • Note: According to some people, "There is a fourth kind of homeschoolers. Nazis who don't want their kids exposed to race-mixing and multiculturalism. Like April Gaede." (sic)


Hippies Hate Water

Actually, they usually start bathing by age 28, in order to facilitate mating. They still, typically, prefer to teach their children how to compost their homework, choose appropriate bumper stickers for their (alternative fuel) cars, and select well-fitted hemp clothing "in the commune".

Gifted or Special?

While public school systems are required (in the U.S.) to provide adequate facilities for students with special needs, some parents of such children prefer to provide what they feel is a higher quality level of attention and personalized course of study at home. Often this is because, while "following the rules", the local school district is unable (or unwilling) to hire appropriately trained and capable special needs instructors.

Bible Thumpers

The earth was created 6,000 years ago, by a god who constantly pays attention to the minutae of human affairs, and interferes on their behalf if they fellate ask him nicely. Evil secular humanists have taken over the government and use it to extract taxes from hardworking christians in order to brainwash children with atheistic science, obscene literature, revisionist anti-American history, and the desire to have abortions. The homeschooled children of Bible thumpers are unlikely to get any, unless when they grow up they start a wiki to attract eager young victims minds to write books and learn together by teaching each other. It's a win-win! Godspeed!

See also

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