Jesus
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| + | [[Image:buddy_christ.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Traditional statue of Jesus. This one is thought to date from the 14th century and be of Italian origin]] | ||
| + | '''Jesus''' is commonly known as the central figure of [[Christianity]]. Jesus is regarded as the son of [[God]] born to the Virgin Mary and was sacrificed for humanity's sins. | ||
| + | |||
| + | == Birth == | ||
| + | :<small>''Main article: [[The virgin birth]]''</small> | ||
| + | |||
| + | According to Christian myth Jesus was born to a virgin mother--yet the [[bible]] also claims that he was the direct male line descendant of King David through Joseph, who was ''not'' his father. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Jesus' Life== | ||
| + | |||
| + | In the Gospels of Matthew and Luke, Jesus was born in Bethlehem (Judea) to Mary, who at the time was a virgin, and the Holy Spirit. The Gospel of Luke relates that the angel Gabriel visited Mary in order to announce to her that she had been chosen to bear the Son of God (Luke 1:26–38). An order of Caesar Augustus, that a survey of the Roman Empire should be made caused Mary and Joseph to leave Nazareth and go to the home of Joseph's forebears - to the house of King David. After Jesus' birth, they were forced to use a manger for a crib because the town's inn was full. According to Luke 2:8–20, an angel spread word of Jesus' birth to several shepherds who came to visit the newborn. Matthew also tells of the "Magi", (Zoroastrian priests), who brought many gifts to the infant Jesus (among which were gold, frankincense, and myrrh; this has led to the incorrect assumption that three Magi were present, whereas the actual number is not given) after following a star which they believed was an indication that the Messiah, or King of the Jews, had been born. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Jesus' early home is stated to have been in the town of Nazareth in Galilee, and except for an escape to Egypt in early childhood, to avoid Herod's massacre of the other male infants, all other events in the Gospels take place in ancient Israel. Luke's Finding in the Temple (Luke 2:41–52), where Jesus impressed the priests by discoursing in scripture with them, is the only detailed event between Jesus' infancy and adult life mentioned in any of the canonical Gospels. | ||
| + | |||
| + | The Gospel of Mark begins with the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist, which appears to be the beginning of Jesus' public ministry. Jesus came to the River Jordan, where John was preaching and baptizing people in the crowd. After Jesus had been baptized, and had risen up out of the water, Mark states Jesus 'saw the heavens torn apart and the Holy Spirit descending like a dove on him. And a voice came from [[heaven]], 'You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased' (Mark 1:10–11). Luke adds the chronological anchor that John the Baptist had begun preaching in the fifteenth year of Tiberius Caesar, approximately in 28 AD (Luke 3:1) and that Jesus was thirty years old when he was baptized (Luke 3:23). | ||
| + | |||
| + | After this baptism, according to Matthew, Jesus was brought into the desert by God, where he fasted for forty days and nights. During this period, [[Satan]] appeared before him and tried three times to tempt Jesus into demonstrating his supernatural powers as a proof of his divine status; each temptation was refused by Jesus, with a scriptural quote from the Book of Deuteronomy. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Jesus then began to preach. The Gospel of John describes three different passover feasts that Jesus attended, thus implying that his ministry lasted three years. | ||
| + | |||
| + | The larger part of this was directed towards his closest followers, the Apostles, although all of his followers were considered disciples. At the highest point of his ministry, Jesus attracted disciples and audiences numbering in the thousands; in particular in the area of Galilee. Many of Jesus' most well-known teachings were given during the Sermon on the Mount, such as the Beatitudes and the Lord's [[Prayer]]. Jesus often used parables in his rhetorical technique, such as the Parable of the Good Samaritan and the Parable of the Sheep and the [[Goat]]s; these teachings encouraged unconditional self-sacrificing love for [[God]] and for all people. During these sermons, he also discussed service and humility, forgiveness of sins, how faith should be applied, the [[Golden Rule]], and the necessity of following the spirit of the law as well as its wording. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Jesus also often conversed with social outcasts, such as the publican (Roman tax collectors who were unpopular for their practice of extorting money). | ||
| + | |||
| + | During the trial of Jesus by the Sanhedrin, a court-like body made up of Pharisees and Sadducees, highly orthodox and conservative members of the Jewish community, the high priests and elders asked Jesus, "Are you the Son of God?," and when he replied, "You say that I am," they condemned Jesus for blasphemy (Luke 22:70–71). | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Jesus' death== | ||
| + | |||
| + | Jesus' slow and tortuous death is believed by [[Christians]] to atone humankind from the [[original sin]] committed by Adam and Eve. However, as most educated Christians believe the story of Adam and Eve to be either a parable or a myth, this rather leaves open the question of why god should cause himself to be tortured to atone for a myth. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Those who believe in the literal truth of original sin have no problem in believing that god caused all humanity to be cursed for the sin of two people and then decided to torture himself to make up for it. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Puzzling details about Jesus' crucifixion=== | ||
| + | |||
| + | * The biblical account of Jesus' crucifixion states that nails were driven through his hands. In Luke 24:39, a post-resurrection Jesus invites his desciples to inspect the nail holes in his hands and his feet. In John 24:24-27, Jesus invites Thomas to stick his finger into the nail holes in Jesus' hands. The problem: the Romans never nailed a condemned person's hands to a cross. The bones in the hands would tear apart under the person's weight. Instead, they nailed the person's wrists to the cross. | ||
| + | |||
| + | * Another curiousity would be the very existence of the wounds from the nails and spear. Considering that one might assume that resurrection, the healing of death if you will, might also fix those problems too. Dedeadifying someone only to leave gaping and festering wounds doesn't seem like much of a resurrection. Jesus' pending ascension, however, could explain this significant oversight. | ||
| + | |||
| + | * Crucifixion was perhaps the most drawn-out form of execution ever devised. The condemned often lingered for days. When the condemned grew tired, they relaxed and hung limp, stretching out the diaphram making it impossible to inhale. The condemned then pulled themselves up by the nails through their wrists. They could breathe as long as they held themselves up in this fashion. Eventually, somebody would break their legs to put them out of their misery. The Romans then left the body on the cross for days, allowing scavengers to pick at it as a warning to would-be insurrectionists. The problems: | ||
| + | ** After only a few hours on the cross, Jesus cried out, "It is finished" <ref>John 19:30</ref> and "died." Was he in such poor health that he died so quickly? | ||
| + | ** According to John 19:31, the Jews asked Pilate to send a centurion to break the legs of Jesus and the two theives crucified with him so the three of them could die and be entombed before the sabbath began. This seems an odd request. Pilate's granting of their request is equally odd. Since the Romans used crucifixion to intimidate their subjects, isn't it logical that Pilate would say "no" and allow the bodies to remain on their crosses? If this was a request normally granted to the Jews on the sabbath, why would the Romans schedule these crucifixions mere hours before the sabbath began? Wouldn't they wait until the sabbath was over and then crucify Jesus and the two theives? | ||
| + | ** Because Jesus "died" before the centurion came to break his legs<ref>John 19:33</ref>, skeptics believe that he had merely passed out and later came to in the tomb. | ||
| + | |||
| + | == Alternate Perceptions == | ||
| + | Many non-canonical Gospels present Jesus from an alternative perspective, and the apostles, as well. For example, in Matthew 10:34, Jesus claims to bring not peace, but "fire and a sword." The same line is duplicated in the non-canonical Gospel of Thomas, in which Jesus is presented as a wise teacher of neo-Platonist, Gnostic Judaism. It is hard to reconcile this line with the popular modern perception of Jesus, leading most to believe that the real person Jesus, and his real ministry, were likely much more complicated than modern Christianity maintains, and interpreted differently by different people. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Similarly, the acts that Jesus inspired in his followers differ according to different tales. Christianity emerged, as a result of Pauline leadership, as a steady-state religion that could weave subtly into the fabric of the Roman Empire. Other tales of Jesus and his followers, though, make him out to be ''much'' more of a revolutionary. For example, a tale exists called the ''Acts of Paul & Thecla'', in which Paul treats a Roman woman as his equal and fellow in Christ, leading her to oppose the Roman way of life and seek spiritual peace in a much more Gnostic sense. In this tale, Paul also appears as much more of a social revolutionary than we have come to know him. ''Acts'' was a popular story in the early Roman world. However, it has largely vanished, as a result of its lack of incorporation into the canon. | ||
| + | |||
| + | It is possible that this revolutionary, original personality of the Jesus movement was deliberately abandoned by Paul in his attempt to popularize the religion. Also abandoned by Paul were the strong Jewish roots of Christianity. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Other Famous Jesuses== | ||
| + | *Jesus Flores - backup catcher for the Washington Nationals baseball team. | ||
| + | *Jesus Colome - Pitcher for the Nationals | ||
| + | *[[Jesus Christ]] - a Palestinian carpenter and ne'er-do-well. | ||
| + | *Jesús Gil - former controversial president of Atlético Madrid [[fun:football | football]] club. | ||
| + | *Jesus Jones - Not strictly speaking an actual Jesus but a London based indie rock group. | ||
| + | *Jesus and Mary Chain - another band. | ||
| + | *''Jesus Built My Hot Rod'' - a song by Ministry | ||
| + | *Jesus Quintana - Amateur bowler and convicted pederast. Eight-year-olds, dude. Don't fuck with him. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Other uses== | ||
| + | Jesus can also be used as an exclamation of surprise (i.e. ''Jesus Christ on an Easter Tree'', ''Jesus Fucking Christ'', ''Jesus H. Christ'' or just ''Jesus!''). For those lacking the nerve to take his name in vain, there are many useful substitutes, such as ''Jiminy Cricket!'' or ''Crikey!'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==References== | ||
| + | |||
| + | <references/> | ||
| + | |||
| + | [[Category:Religion]] | ||
Revision as of 17:39, 8 October 2007
Jesus is commonly known as the central figure of Christianity. Jesus is regarded as the son of God born to the Virgin Mary and was sacrificed for humanity's sins.
Contents |
Birth
- Main article: The virgin birth
According to Christian myth Jesus was born to a virgin mother--yet the bible also claims that he was the direct male line descendant of King David through Joseph, who was not his father.
Jesus' Life
In the Gospels of Matthew and Luke, Jesus was born in Bethlehem (Judea) to Mary, who at the time was a virgin, and the Holy Spirit. The Gospel of Luke relates that the angel Gabriel visited Mary in order to announce to her that she had been chosen to bear the Son of God (Luke 1:26–38). An order of Caesar Augustus, that a survey of the Roman Empire should be made caused Mary and Joseph to leave Nazareth and go to the home of Joseph's forebears - to the house of King David. After Jesus' birth, they were forced to use a manger for a crib because the town's inn was full. According to Luke 2:8–20, an angel spread word of Jesus' birth to several shepherds who came to visit the newborn. Matthew also tells of the "Magi", (Zoroastrian priests), who brought many gifts to the infant Jesus (among which were gold, frankincense, and myrrh; this has led to the incorrect assumption that three Magi were present, whereas the actual number is not given) after following a star which they believed was an indication that the Messiah, or King of the Jews, had been born.
Jesus' early home is stated to have been in the town of Nazareth in Galilee, and except for an escape to Egypt in early childhood, to avoid Herod's massacre of the other male infants, all other events in the Gospels take place in ancient Israel. Luke's Finding in the Temple (Luke 2:41–52), where Jesus impressed the priests by discoursing in scripture with them, is the only detailed event between Jesus' infancy and adult life mentioned in any of the canonical Gospels.
The Gospel of Mark begins with the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist, which appears to be the beginning of Jesus' public ministry. Jesus came to the River Jordan, where John was preaching and baptizing people in the crowd. After Jesus had been baptized, and had risen up out of the water, Mark states Jesus 'saw the heavens torn apart and the Holy Spirit descending like a dove on him. And a voice came from heaven, 'You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased' (Mark 1:10–11). Luke adds the chronological anchor that John the Baptist had begun preaching in the fifteenth year of Tiberius Caesar, approximately in 28 AD (Luke 3:1) and that Jesus was thirty years old when he was baptized (Luke 3:23).
After this baptism, according to Matthew, Jesus was brought into the desert by God, where he fasted for forty days and nights. During this period, Satan appeared before him and tried three times to tempt Jesus into demonstrating his supernatural powers as a proof of his divine status; each temptation was refused by Jesus, with a scriptural quote from the Book of Deuteronomy.
Jesus then began to preach. The Gospel of John describes three different passover feasts that Jesus attended, thus implying that his ministry lasted three years.
The larger part of this was directed towards his closest followers, the Apostles, although all of his followers were considered disciples. At the highest point of his ministry, Jesus attracted disciples and audiences numbering in the thousands; in particular in the area of Galilee. Many of Jesus' most well-known teachings were given during the Sermon on the Mount, such as the Beatitudes and the Lord's Prayer. Jesus often used parables in his rhetorical technique, such as the Parable of the Good Samaritan and the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats; these teachings encouraged unconditional self-sacrificing love for God and for all people. During these sermons, he also discussed service and humility, forgiveness of sins, how faith should be applied, the Golden Rule, and the necessity of following the spirit of the law as well as its wording.
Jesus also often conversed with social outcasts, such as the publican (Roman tax collectors who were unpopular for their practice of extorting money).
During the trial of Jesus by the Sanhedrin, a court-like body made up of Pharisees and Sadducees, highly orthodox and conservative members of the Jewish community, the high priests and elders asked Jesus, "Are you the Son of God?," and when he replied, "You say that I am," they condemned Jesus for blasphemy (Luke 22:70–71).
Jesus' death
Jesus' slow and tortuous death is believed by Christians to atone humankind from the original sin committed by Adam and Eve. However, as most educated Christians believe the story of Adam and Eve to be either a parable or a myth, this rather leaves open the question of why god should cause himself to be tortured to atone for a myth.
Those who believe in the literal truth of original sin have no problem in believing that god caused all humanity to be cursed for the sin of two people and then decided to torture himself to make up for it.
Puzzling details about Jesus' crucifixion
- The biblical account of Jesus' crucifixion states that nails were driven through his hands. In Luke 24:39, a post-resurrection Jesus invites his desciples to inspect the nail holes in his hands and his feet. In John 24:24-27, Jesus invites Thomas to stick his finger into the nail holes in Jesus' hands. The problem: the Romans never nailed a condemned person's hands to a cross. The bones in the hands would tear apart under the person's weight. Instead, they nailed the person's wrists to the cross.
- Another curiousity would be the very existence of the wounds from the nails and spear. Considering that one might assume that resurrection, the healing of death if you will, might also fix those problems too. Dedeadifying someone only to leave gaping and festering wounds doesn't seem like much of a resurrection. Jesus' pending ascension, however, could explain this significant oversight.
- Crucifixion was perhaps the most drawn-out form of execution ever devised. The condemned often lingered for days. When the condemned grew tired, they relaxed and hung limp, stretching out the diaphram making it impossible to inhale. The condemned then pulled themselves up by the nails through their wrists. They could breathe as long as they held themselves up in this fashion. Eventually, somebody would break their legs to put them out of their misery. The Romans then left the body on the cross for days, allowing scavengers to pick at it as a warning to would-be insurrectionists. The problems:
- After only a few hours on the cross, Jesus cried out, "It is finished" [1] and "died." Was he in such poor health that he died so quickly?
- According to John 19:31, the Jews asked Pilate to send a centurion to break the legs of Jesus and the two theives crucified with him so the three of them could die and be entombed before the sabbath began. This seems an odd request. Pilate's granting of their request is equally odd. Since the Romans used crucifixion to intimidate their subjects, isn't it logical that Pilate would say "no" and allow the bodies to remain on their crosses? If this was a request normally granted to the Jews on the sabbath, why would the Romans schedule these crucifixions mere hours before the sabbath began? Wouldn't they wait until the sabbath was over and then crucify Jesus and the two theives?
- Because Jesus "died" before the centurion came to break his legs[2], skeptics believe that he had merely passed out and later came to in the tomb.
Alternate Perceptions
Many non-canonical Gospels present Jesus from an alternative perspective, and the apostles, as well. For example, in Matthew 10:34, Jesus claims to bring not peace, but "fire and a sword." The same line is duplicated in the non-canonical Gospel of Thomas, in which Jesus is presented as a wise teacher of neo-Platonist, Gnostic Judaism. It is hard to reconcile this line with the popular modern perception of Jesus, leading most to believe that the real person Jesus, and his real ministry, were likely much more complicated than modern Christianity maintains, and interpreted differently by different people.
Similarly, the acts that Jesus inspired in his followers differ according to different tales. Christianity emerged, as a result of Pauline leadership, as a steady-state religion that could weave subtly into the fabric of the Roman Empire. Other tales of Jesus and his followers, though, make him out to be much more of a revolutionary. For example, a tale exists called the Acts of Paul & Thecla, in which Paul treats a Roman woman as his equal and fellow in Christ, leading her to oppose the Roman way of life and seek spiritual peace in a much more Gnostic sense. In this tale, Paul also appears as much more of a social revolutionary than we have come to know him. Acts was a popular story in the early Roman world. However, it has largely vanished, as a result of its lack of incorporation into the canon.
It is possible that this revolutionary, original personality of the Jesus movement was deliberately abandoned by Paul in his attempt to popularize the religion. Also abandoned by Paul were the strong Jewish roots of Christianity.
Other Famous Jesuses
- Jesus Flores - backup catcher for the Washington Nationals baseball team.
- Jesus Colome - Pitcher for the Nationals
- Jesus Christ - a Palestinian carpenter and ne'er-do-well.
- Jesús Gil - former controversial president of Atlético Madrid football club.
- Jesus Jones - Not strictly speaking an actual Jesus but a London based indie rock group.
- Jesus and Mary Chain - another band.
- Jesus Built My Hot Rod - a song by Ministry
- Jesus Quintana - Amateur bowler and convicted pederast. Eight-year-olds, dude. Don't fuck with him.
Other uses
Jesus can also be used as an exclamation of surprise (i.e. Jesus Christ on an Easter Tree, Jesus Fucking Christ, Jesus H. Christ or just Jesus!). For those lacking the nerve to take his name in vain, there are many useful substitutes, such as Jiminy Cricket! or Crikey!