Jesusland
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==Religion== | ==Religion== | ||
| − | The main religion in Jesusland is Reaganism. Their principle | + | The main religion in Jesusland is Reaganism. Their principle deity and savior is [[Ronald Reagan]]. |
==Culture== | ==Culture== | ||
Revision as of 18:48, 2 April 2008
Jesusland is the name for the 30 U.S. states which voted for George W. Bush in 2004. The name came about after a post-election map showed that the states (excluding Alaska) formed a contiguous block. The name Jesusland was invented to describe the area, to fit the view of it as having an overly Christian population. Which, of course, it does.
Contents |
Geography
Jesusland is flat, except where it is bumpy with mountains, with a climate that has never changed since its creation in 4004 BCE. Its main life forms are corn, cattle, and hogs. The capital city is Crawford, Texas - the birthplace of George W. Bush. The country is sometimes referred to as "Dumbfuckistan", but not by its residents.
The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah have incorporated themselves into a single larger city: Las Vegas, Nevada.
People
God gave Jesusland to the whites, who adopted the Bible as their constitution. Then they grew lots of corn. In order to keep themselves pure in the sight of God, they are only allowed to marry their own relatives. Jesuslanders have a varied diet, including corn dogs, corn beer and cornburgers.
Economy
Jesusland has a diverse economy. Its main export is corn, religious zealots, and holy crusaders to go passify the infidel states. One of Jesusland's main natural resources is rich white men in cowboys hats.
Religion
The main religion in Jesusland is Reaganism. Their principle deity and savior is Ronald Reagan.
Culture
- NASCAR racin'
- Cock fightin'
- Pit bull fightin'
- Bug zappin'
- Pitch forkin'
- Billy Ray Cyrus singin'
- The Waltons - TV showin' or Walmart founin', as to which it matters not
- Old Glory wavin'
- Shootin' things
- Killin' Muslims
- Hatin' ferners -- fancypants college boys call it "zee-no-foebya."
- Lynchin' uppity
N-words. - Keepin' nutty ole Cousin Zeke locked in the basement, only cuz there ain't no room for him and Gramma Tizzie in the attic.
- Fightin' to win when doin'
Civil WarWar of Northern Aggression reenactments.
Neighboring countries
Mexico lies to the south, and the United States of Canada (Canada plus the 19 reality-believing infidel states) to the west, north and northeast.
Global warming
Despite the political coloration of the map on this page, as global warming continues, many of the so-called red states on the Jesusland Map will become blue one way or another.