Karl Rove
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For some crazy reason, Newsweek magazine has apparently decided to give Turdblossom his own column and [[Fox News]] has retained him as a political commentator. I guess some people do want to hear from a very successful swindler. | For some crazy reason, Newsweek magazine has apparently decided to give Turdblossom his own column and [[Fox News]] has retained him as a political commentator. I guess some people do want to hear from a very successful swindler. | ||
| − | He was notably pwnt during a speech on February | + | He was notably pwnt during a speech on February 11, 2008 by a young [[Marla Spivak]]. |
==Bush's brain (so to speak)== | ==Bush's brain (so to speak)== | ||
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On 29 December 2009, Rove's "family spokesperson" [[Dana Perino]] announced the "amicable" [[divorce]] of Rove and his wife of 24 years. This was the second divorce for the [[Defense of Marriage Act|defender of marriage]]. The [[mainstream media]] all but ignored the announcement, but the radar of [[liberal]] bloggers switched full on. First question: How did the Roves keep their impending divorce secret until after it was granted? The only answer is that the court records were sealed.<ref>Fueling the speculation that the records are sealed is the question of what day the divorce became final. The best date the ''Huffington Post'' could come up with was "sometime last week."</ref> Which prompts a more urgent question: Why seal the records? | On 29 December 2009, Rove's "family spokesperson" [[Dana Perino]] announced the "amicable" [[divorce]] of Rove and his wife of 24 years. This was the second divorce for the [[Defense of Marriage Act|defender of marriage]]. The [[mainstream media]] all but ignored the announcement, but the radar of [[liberal]] bloggers switched full on. First question: How did the Roves keep their impending divorce secret until after it was granted? The only answer is that the court records were sealed.<ref>Fueling the speculation that the records are sealed is the question of what day the divorce became final. The best date the ''Huffington Post'' could come up with was "sometime last week."</ref> Which prompts a more urgent question: Why seal the records? | ||
| − | One theory is that Turdblossom was about to join the ranks of [[Really embarrassing conservatives]]. Ever since conservative "[[journalism|journalist]]" Jeff Gannon was outed ([[gay|in more ways than one]]), people have noticed how "close" he was to the rampantly homophobic Turdblossom.<ref>Roberts, Joel. [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/02/18/opinion/lynch/main675050.shtml "Rove-Gannon Clonnection?"], CBS News website, 18 February 2005, accessed 5 January 2010.</ref> Within days of the announcement, liberals began speculating that some of those five | + | One theory is that Turdblossom was about to join the ranks of [[Really embarrassing conservatives]]. Ever since conservative "[[journalism|journalist]]" Jeff Gannon was outed ([[gay|in more ways than one]]), people have noticed how "close" he was to the rampantly homophobic Turdblossom.<ref>Roberts, Joel. [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/02/18/opinion/lynch/main675050.shtml "Rove-Gannon Clonnection?"], CBS News website, 18 February 2005, accessed 5 January 2010.</ref> Within days of the announcement, liberals began speculating that some of those five million—out of 22 million missing—recovered Bush Administration e-mails might contain communiques between Rove and Gannon that were—shall we say—of a more personal nature.<ref>Shuler, Roger. [http://www.opednews.com/articles/What-s-the-Real-Story-Behi-by-Roger-Shuler-091231-750.html " What's the Real Story Behind Karl Rove's Divorce?"], ''OpEdNews'' website, 31 December 2009, accessed 5 January 2010.</ref> It makes you wonder what an IM exchange between these two would be like: |
<blockquote>'''Rove:''' Oh, Jeff. You're all ripply and muscly and tan like a statue of Adonis come to life.<br>'''Gannon:''' Oh, Karl. You're all bald and squishy and pale like a jellyfish dying on the beach.<br>'''Rove:''' It's true, you scamp!<br>'''Gannon:''' Tee hee!<br></blockquote>Or maybe it's best not to wonder about such things. | <blockquote>'''Rove:''' Oh, Jeff. You're all ripply and muscly and tan like a statue of Adonis come to life.<br>'''Gannon:''' Oh, Karl. You're all bald and squishy and pale like a jellyfish dying on the beach.<br>'''Rove:''' It's true, you scamp!<br>'''Gannon:''' Tee hee!<br></blockquote>Or maybe it's best not to wonder about such things. | ||
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| − | ==See | + | ==See also== |
*[[Chickenhawk]]s | *[[Chickenhawk]]s | ||
| − | [[ | + | [[Category:Politicians]] |
[[Category:Chickenhawks]] | [[Category:Chickenhawks]] | ||
[[Category:Turdblossoms]] | [[Category:Turdblossoms]] | ||
Revision as of 23:16, 19 March 2010
Karl "Turdblossom" Rove left the Bush administration in August 2007. Somewhat surprisingly he gave the reason for leaving as, "To spend more time with my family."
As this phrase is political code for, "I don't want to tell you why I left," it has left the door open for some speculation about the real reasons for his departure.
One suggested reason is the possibility of a political scandal over his gay adoptive father's 37 extraordinary genital piercings. Once it was realised there could well develop a cataclysmic 'gay daughter/massively pierced gay father' scandal in the inner circle in the White House, Alberto Gonzalez was asked to leave. (He didn't really have anything to do with it, but no-one really liked Alberto anyway (A Hispanic in the Republican Party?!), so it seemed like a good excuse). Considering Turdblossom's rampant homophobia, especially during election campaigns, there's little doubt that the Bushies were scared of the media's reaction to this little tidbit of information.
For some crazy reason, Newsweek magazine has apparently decided to give Turdblossom his own column and Fox News has retained him as a political commentator. I guess some people do want to hear from a very successful swindler.
He was notably pwnt during a speech on February 11, 2008 by a young Marla Spivak.
Contents |
Bush's brain (so to speak)
Rove was noted for initiating faux grassroots PAC groups that coincidentally appeared at the right moment to help Bush during his campaign.[1][2] Manipulating these groups like puppets, Rove trashed Texas Governor Ann Richards, and war heroes Georgia Senator Max Cleland, Arizona Senator John McCain, and Massachusetts Senator John Kerry, culminated in Rove's master stroke of the fake Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, detailed in books titled Bush's Brain.[3] [4]
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
On 29 December 2009, Rove's "family spokesperson" Dana Perino announced the "amicable" divorce of Rove and his wife of 24 years. This was the second divorce for the defender of marriage. The mainstream media all but ignored the announcement, but the radar of liberal bloggers switched full on. First question: How did the Roves keep their impending divorce secret until after it was granted? The only answer is that the court records were sealed.[5] Which prompts a more urgent question: Why seal the records?
One theory is that Turdblossom was about to join the ranks of Really embarrassing conservatives. Ever since conservative "journalist" Jeff Gannon was outed (in more ways than one), people have noticed how "close" he was to the rampantly homophobic Turdblossom.[6] Within days of the announcement, liberals began speculating that some of those five million—out of 22 million missing—recovered Bush Administration e-mails might contain communiques between Rove and Gannon that were—shall we say—of a more personal nature.[7] It makes you wonder what an IM exchange between these two would be like:
Rove: Oh, Jeff. You're all ripply and muscly and tan like a statue of Adonis come to life.Or maybe it's best not to wonder about such things.
Gannon: Oh, Karl. You're all bald and squishy and pale like a jellyfish dying on the beach.
Rove: It's true, you scamp!
Gannon: Tee hee!
Footnotes
- ↑ Moore, James. Smear Artist. 2004-08-28
- ↑ The Architect: Karl Rove and the Master Plan for Absolute Power; Moore & Slater; (2007) ISBN 978-0307237934
- ↑ Bush's Brain: How Karl Rove Made George W. Bush Presidential; Moore & Slater; (2004) ISBN 978-0471471400
- ↑ Rove Exposed: How Bush's Brain Fooled America by James Moore and Wayne Slater; Moore & Slater; (2005) ISBN 978-0471787082
- ↑ Fueling the speculation that the records are sealed is the question of what day the divorce became final. The best date the Huffington Post could come up with was "sometime last week."
- ↑ Roberts, Joel. "Rove-Gannon Clonnection?", CBS News website, 18 February 2005, accessed 5 January 2010.
- ↑ Shuler, Roger. " What's the Real Story Behind Karl Rove's Divorce?", OpEdNews website, 31 December 2009, accessed 5 January 2010.
See also