Kool-Aid drinker
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| − | :Defenders of the Faith have special abilities that no other peons | + | :Defenders of the Faith have special abilities that no other peons possess. These powers allow the Defenders to win all arguments to preserve the sanctity (stupidity) of the realm. Every Defender has the power of Silence (locking) over the forum. If the deceit (science) and lies (truth) of the pinko-commies become too great, and the noble defenses (threats) of the Righteous (troglodytes) begins to fail, a Defender can create a permanent silence on the battlefield, rendering any further attacks unhearable. A Defender however can continue to make his or her voice heard. |
'''Power of Time''' | '''Power of Time''' | ||
Revision as of 11:30, 1 February 2009
A Kool-Aid drinker is someone who has imbibed deeply enough of the One True Faith to have seriously damaged their mental faculties - often irreversibly. The term is derived from the cyanide-laced Flavor-Aide (a Kool-Aid knockoff) that the followers of (among other things, apparent cheapskate) Jim Jones drank in their mass suicide at Jonestown, Guyana in 1978, as immortalized in the Tulsa City Trucker's song, Jonestown Kool Aid..
Kool-Aid drinkers can usually be identified by a complete unwillingness to consider the possibility that anything they were taught in church, church school, or homeschool could possibly be wrong.
They are also known as "True Believers".
Contents |
Fresh meat
One variety of Kool-Aid drinker that has come to the world's attention lately (spring of 2007 CE) are the small furry carrion eaters residing at "conservapedia.com"
A Defender of the Faith, or "CPsysop", in contemporary usage is an individual dedicated to maintaining the current level of ignorance enlightenment and prejudicial hatred Christian love on Conservapedia at all costs. A Defender's worst enemy is the Liberal Child-Molesting Atheist who will constantly attempt to inject truth deceit into any and all articles, debates, or talk pages. Only a true Defender of the Faith has the ability to resist the logical methods evil weapons of the subhuman Cabal Scum subhuman Cabal Scum.
A Defender may be called upon to rescue his liege Lord from personal honorable pwnage combat by holding off the hordes of Liberals unclean.
The Way of the Defender
Power of Silence
- Defenders of the Faith have special abilities that no other peons possess. These powers allow the Defenders to win all arguments to preserve the sanctity (stupidity) of the realm. Every Defender has the power of Silence (locking) over the forum. If the deceit (science) and lies (truth) of the pinko-commies become too great, and the noble defenses (threats) of the Righteous (troglodytes) begins to fail, a Defender can create a permanent silence on the battlefield, rendering any further attacks unhearable. A Defender however can continue to make his or her voice heard.
Power of Time
- At times the lies (truths) used in a fight begin to build up and clutter an otherwise perfect vista of
Conservative Purity(pipedream). Defenders are also granted the power of Time (revert) with which to clean the lands of this filth. Combined with the power of Silence, any forum can be swept clean.
Power of Expulsion
- For those enemies of the One True Faith (irrationality) who refuse to give up their evil ways (common sense), there can be only one possible method of truly defeating them. Defenders have the ultimate power of Expulsion. Like God kicked Adam and Eve out of Eden, so too can the Defender of the Faith boot the heathen (Cabal member) out of the garden of knowledge (compost heap).
Notable Defenders on Conservapedia
Owner Andrew Schlafly- the proclaimed King and Lord of the Realm. Master of debate techniques.
- Ralph Wiggum sezs: "And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life."
Sysop Conservative - Master of the quote mine, will defend YEC to the death or when he finally evolves into a rational human.
- Ralph Wiggum sezs: "The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I just kept my finger outta there."
Sysop RobS- Master of the Idiot's Grin Stratagem.
- Ralph Wiggum sezs: "Fun toys are fun."
Sysop Karajou- Master of short. Sentences. Punctuated by liberal. Use of the. Word now.
- Ralph Wiggum sezs: "Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch!"
Sysop TK- Master of banning people. Holder of the uploading power. Not so deft user of sarcasm.
- Ralph Wiggum sezs: "I flushed a potato down the toilet and now we have to live in a hotel."
Imposters
Be aware that there are those that claim to be Defenders, but are actually spies in the employ of the godless swine (Liberals). These pseudo-Defenders are known as "nekots." Remember, everything a "nekot" does is questionable, and should not be trusted. All true Defenders will constantly be on the lookout for any and all information possibly leading to the Expulsion of the "nekots."
B.J.J.
Before Jim Jones tarnished forever the reputation of the artificial beverage not preferred by astronauts, when he chose it as the medium for his cult's mass suicide, drinking Kool-Aid was associated with a different kind of departure from reality. Before LSD became illegal, garbage can-sized containers were filled with Kool-Aid, spiked with LSD and given away free to heighten the experience of those who attended rock concerts at the Filmore West. Accompanied by the music of the Jefferson Airplane, the Grateful Dead, Big Brother and the Holding Company and other bands of the psychedelic era, "electric" Kool-Aid transported many a concert-goer into alternate realities for eight or so hours of consciousness-expansion. This "special" beverage was immortalized in Tom Wolfe's book chronicling the long days and nights of Ken Kesey's band of "Merry Pranksters", The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.
Other uses
In some software development subcultures, company employees are expected to "drink the Kool-Aid" and "eat their own dog food". It is not a good combination.
See also
- Waco, another wacky cult full of Kool-Aid drinkers.