Margaret Thatcher

From RationalWiki
(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(Alzheimer's: change word, link)
(MRSA Outbreak in the NHS)
Line 15: Line 15:
  
 
==MRSA Outbreak in the NHS==
 
==MRSA Outbreak in the NHS==
In 1990 the internal market was introduced by the Thatcher government. This meant that hospitals could send their patients to other hospitals, often hundreds of miles away, to obtain cheaper treatment for the patients. However, this backfired big-time for Ol' Maggie. A patient was sent from Kettering General Hospital, Northamptonshire, to a hospital in London. This patient had been tested for and was positive with MRSA ('''M'''ethicillin '''R'''esistant '''''S'''taphylococcus '''A'''ureus''). Subsequently many patients in the London hospital contracted MRSA; they were then moved out of the London hospital to other hospitals with the result that further patients were infected with MRSA. The spread of MRSA was assisted by poor hospital hygiene, which had declined as a direct result of the Thatcher government's policy of contracting out (or 'outsourcing') hospital cleaning services to private companies. The private companies were happy to take the NHS contract money, but provided sub-standard services in return.
+
In 1990 the internal market was introduced by the Thatcher government. This meant that hospitals could send their patients to other hospitals, often hundreds of miles away, to obtain cheaper treatment for the patients. However, this backfired big-time for Ol' Maggie. A patient was sent from Kettering General Hospital, Northamptonshire, to a hospital in London. This patient had been tested for and was positive with [[methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus]] (MRSA). Subsequently many patients in the London hospital contracted MRSA; they were then moved out of the London hospital to other hospitals with the result that further patients were infected with MRSA. The spread of MRSA was assisted by poor hospital hygiene, which had declined as a direct result of the Thatcher government's policy of contracting out (or 'outsourcing') hospital cleaning services to private companies. The private companies were happy to take the NHS contract money, but provided sub-standard services in return.
  
 
==Neo-colonial offspring==  
 
==Neo-colonial offspring==  

Revision as of 06:09, 12 September 2009

If Satan lived in Britain, he would look something like this.

Margaret Thatcher was a conservative Prime Minister of The United Kingdom during the 80's.

She is, and was, seen by some as the British version of Ronald Reagan. While Reagan reaffirmed American hegemony over Grenada, she kept the Union Flag fluttering happily over a bunch of penguins the strategically vital potentially oil-rich [1] Falkland Islands.

Contents

Iron bitch on wheels

She is famous for destroying the National Health Service.

She was married to Denis Thatcher, who pickled himself to death with alcohol as a form of socially acceptable suicide.

Her ability to feel emotions remains to be seen.

Alzheimer's

In 2008 her daughter Carol revealed that Baroness Thatcher had been suffering from Alzheimer's disease for up to eight years. According to some this could be seen as a sign of divine retribution.

MRSA Outbreak in the NHS

In 1990 the internal market was introduced by the Thatcher government. This meant that hospitals could send their patients to other hospitals, often hundreds of miles away, to obtain cheaper treatment for the patients. However, this backfired big-time for Ol' Maggie. A patient was sent from Kettering General Hospital, Northamptonshire, to a hospital in London. This patient had been tested for and was positive with methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA). Subsequently many patients in the London hospital contracted MRSA; they were then moved out of the London hospital to other hospitals with the result that further patients were infected with MRSA. The spread of MRSA was assisted by poor hospital hygiene, which had declined as a direct result of the Thatcher government's policy of contracting out (or 'outsourcing') hospital cleaning services to private companies. The private companies were happy to take the NHS contract money, but provided sub-standard services in return.

Neo-colonial offspring

In 1982 Mark Thatcher, luckily the only son of Margaret and Denis Thatcher, competed in the Paris-Dakar Rally with minimal preparation. He and his support team (co-driver, Charlotte Verney, and their mechanic) ended up getting lost in the Sahara Desert for six days, resulting in a full-blown and highly embarrassing international rescue mission being launched. They were eventually found in the desert, 50 km from where they should have been, by an Algerian military plane. It was not the last time that he would manage to knock Mumsy off the front pages of the UK's newspapers.

The Saudi Arabian Government felt unable to place the multi-billion pound Al Yamama arms deal with Britain without going through a consultancy firm consisting of Mark Thatcher and an old school chum. "Working" for a small percentage, this resulted in a £30 million fee for Mark Thatcher's legendary -- if not mythical -- business skills, which principally consisted of being the Prime Minister's son.

In 2005 he pled guilty to his part in financing an attempted coup d'état in Equatorial Guinea. While, of course, a grateful nation can only applaud the aging playboy's single-handed effort to restore the British Empire, for some reason the residents of South Africa and Guinea itself took a rather dimmer view. Thatcher was sentenced to a five year custodial sentence (suspended) and ordered to pay a half-million US dollar fine.

Carol Thatcher is the daughter of Margaret Thatcher. She is supposedly a journalist, but there is very little evidence of this in the UK press. She's been known to take the (gentle) piss out of her mama, allegedly. She has also been employed as a radio presenter despite having an obvious speech impediment.

Quotes

"There is no such thing as 'society', only individuals and families."

"I always bat for Britain." --- Margaret Thatcher after securing a lucrative business contract for her own family.

"The Mummy Returns!" --- After her terrifying, undead corpse was resurrected for a Conservative general election rally in 2001.

Personal tools
Namespaces

Variants
Actions
Navigation
Community
Tools
support