Republican Party
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[[image:redneck5.jpg|right|thumb|Members of the Republican Party have occupied the White House for the last seven years.]] | [[image:redneck5.jpg|right|thumb|Members of the Republican Party have occupied the White House for the last seven years.]] | ||
| − | The '''Republican Party''' is one of the two major [[political parties]] in the [[United States|United States of America]]. They are generally regarded as the more "[[conservative]]" of the two parties. While at one time the Republican party was the party of civil rights and Abraham Lincoln, and later became known as the party of personal responsibility and restricted government, in the latter half of the 20th century it became a party dominated primarily by rich people who can afford 7-figure bribes, the psychotically religious, and experts in [[framing]] issues to play to constituents' prejudices. | + | The '''Republican Party''' is one of the two major [[political parties]] in the [[United States|United States of America]]. They are generally regarded as the more "[[conservative]]" of the two parties. While at one time the Republican party was the party of civil rights and Abraham Lincoln, and later became known as the party of personal responsibility and restricted government, in the latter half of the 20th century it became a party dominated primarily by rich people who can afford 7-figure bribes, the psychotically religious, and experts in [[framing]] issues to play to constituents' prejudices. |
After 2000, the Bush-McCain wing of the party created the largest increases in the national debt, and passed the biggest budgets in American history. | After 2000, the Bush-McCain wing of the party created the largest increases in the national debt, and passed the biggest budgets in American history. | ||
Revision as of 16:13, 20 May 2008
The Republican Party is one of the two major political parties in the United States of America. They are generally regarded as the more "conservative" of the two parties. While at one time the Republican party was the party of civil rights and Abraham Lincoln, and later became known as the party of personal responsibility and restricted government, in the latter half of the 20th century it became a party dominated primarily by rich people who can afford 7-figure bribes, the psychotically religious, and experts in framing issues to play to constituents' prejudices.
After 2000, the Bush-McCain wing of the party created the largest increases in the national debt, and passed the biggest budgets in American history.
Conservapedia considers the Republican party to be moderate/center-right on issues politically.[1] However, in this alternate reality, center has been repositioned just to the right of the political positions of The Galactic Empire's Emperor Palpatine.
The Republican Party is also known as the Grand Old Party (GOP) although it is, in fact, younger than the Democratic Party.
For an as yet unknown reason the Imperial March by John Williams begins playing out of thin air anytime more than ten Republicans gather in any one place.
Some people will argue that plenty of "old-style" Republicans still exist, and are just waiting for a suitable figure to lead them. If so, it is hard to tell them from the faux-rebels running around. Most commentators just assume they're either endangered or extinct (or on acid).
Contents |
Timeline
- 1854 - The party is founded. Times are very different from today, as people look to the Republican party for positive policies concerning race as opposed to the Democratic party, which at the time tended to favour the interests of propertied whites.
- 1860 - Abraham Lincoln, possibly the greatest president ever, is elected. Despite being a Republican, he is remarkably bipartisan and agreeable, acting on what he feels is best for America rather than what is best for his party. He gets shot dead for this.
- 1901 - Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt becomes president upon the assassination of William McKinley (George W. Bush in a previous life). He goes on to do many things that would be anathema to modern Republicans including fighting big business and protecting the environment.
- 1929 - The Great Depression starts. The Republican party, which has changed from the "people's party" to the "rich white males' party" applies the "just watch the country go down the crapper" strategy. Thank you, Herbert Hoover!
- 1933 - Franklin Delano Roosevelt, another candidate for greatest president ever, takes over. Ends Great Depression through big government policies and wins us the Second World War. Brings seventy years of prosperity under Democratic rule to America.
- 1981-1989 - Ronald Reagan is in office. Gets credit for delayed effects of crappy Soviet economy, delayed effects of previous presidents, and for being rude to other world leaders. Illegally sells weapons to Iran, which are used several years later by extremists (like in present times). Spends 1/4 of all military defense money spent during the Cold War. Becomes principal deity to a new, cultish religion.
- 1994 - The Republican party takes control of Congress. Begins a fourteen-year era where the Republicans really *&%$ things up and destroy any chance of power for dozens of years after a Democratic president and a new Democratic majority is elected in 2008.
- 2000 - The Republican party elects the first monkey president, chiefly due to Ralph Nader stealing votes from Gore and voter fraud and suppression in Florida.
Selected Republicans
- 50 Cent[2]
- Abraham Lincoln
- His Most Grand High Exaltedness, Slayer of the Dragon of Communism, and Defender of the Faith - Saint Ronald Wilson Reagan
- Karl Rove
- Dick Cheney
- Alan Keyes
- George W. Bush
- John McCain
- Jack Abramoff
See also
- Democrat Party
- Democratic Party
- Mitt Romney, former governor of Massachusetts, was running for the Republican nomination in the 2008 Presidential election, along with another dozen or so old rich white men.
- Log Cabin Republicans, a weird subgroup of Republicans who seem to believe in the exact opposite things of the Republican party.
- REBEL
References
- ↑ Conservapedia's Republican party article
- ↑ http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1514482/20051123/50_cent.jhtml?headlines=true
| United States 2008 Presidential election articles on RationalWiki | ||
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| Topics: 2008 U.S. Presidential Election - Democratic Party - Debate:Religious beliefs and public office - Republican Party - Same-sex marriage - United States Electoral College Candidates: Hillary Rodham Clinton - Rudolph Giuliani - Mike Huckabee - John McCain - Alan Keyes - Dennis Kucinich - Ron Paul - Mitt Romney Running mates: Joe Biden - Sarah Palin Winner: Barack Obama |
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