Richard M. Nixon
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*"You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around any more". | *"You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around any more". | ||
*"I am not a crook".Just a Thief. | *"I am not a crook".Just a Thief. | ||
| − | *"[Expletive deleted]"(WHY??) I | + | *"[Expletive deleted]"(WHY??) I |
*"Fucking Jew-bastards everywhere!" | *"Fucking Jew-bastards everywhere!" | ||
*"Sock it to ''me?''"Thats what she said | *"Sock it to ''me?''"Thats what she said | ||
Revision as of 15:36, 12 May 2009
Richard Milhous "Tricky Dick" Nixon was the 37th president of the United States. Nixon's vice-president was Spiro Agnew, until he resigned due to breakin' laws. Agnew was succeeded by Nixon's nominee, then-Representative Gerald Ford. Ford then succeeded Nixon as president when he resigned for breakin' laws. It's all very straightforward constitutional logic, really.
Several years prior to his tenure as president, he served as Dwight D. Eisenhower's vice-president for eight years.
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Politics
Nixon was a liberal, as shown by his enactment of wage and price controls to try to reduce inflation. He was also a rabid anti-communist. Oddly, given some of the achievements below, he would probably be considered a card-carrying pinko by the standards of the present-day Republican party.
He formulated and perfected his so-called "Southern strategy", which used racism as a wedge issue to get naturally Democratic blue-collar voters in the Bible Belt to vote for him, a Republican. This strategy has continued to be a major force in US presidential elections, with a heavy dose of religious fundamentalist issues gradually added to the racism.
He is the only man to be twice elected to both the Vice Presidency and the Presidency.
Achievements
Under Nixon, many groundbreaking steps were taken in the US:
- He signed OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) into law.
- The EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) was also created.
- He went to China, where Mao Zedong was impressed by Secretary of State Henry Kissinger's sexual exploits.
- Eventually ended the Viet Nam War.
- Called hippies "jobless bums."
- Developed a hilarious speaking style.
Underachievements
Nixon is also famous for getting a few things horribly wrong:
- Escalating Johnson's disastrous war in Viet Nam to the point of carpet-bombing neighboring countries. (What's this doing on the Underachievements? It would have worked if only the goddamn libruhls had been willing to fund it and maybe let him use a few nukes.)
- Creating his infamous "enemies list".
- Hiring and protecting stupid thugs to work for his administration.
Personal affectations and grooming
Nixon was a sweaty, smelly, hard-drinking, and foulmouthed anti-Semite who suffered from heavy beard growth and raging inferiority complexes.
Awesome quotes
- "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around any more".
- "I am not a crook".Just a Thief.
- "[Expletive deleted]"(WHY??) I
- "Fucking Jew-bastards everywhere!"
- "Sock it to me?"Thats what she said
See also
- Paranoia
- Chuck Colson, White House Counsel