Ronald Reagan
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==[[WWRD]]== | ==[[WWRD]]== | ||
| − | Many conservatives have a massive | + | Many conservatives have a massive hard on for Reagan and his policies. Since Reagan was the neo-Conservative savior, anything he did was infallible, and his supporters ought to mimic his every move (a similar attitude [[fundamentalist|these people]] have towards [[Fun:Jesus|this guy]]). As a result every Republican politician will always claim that they are Reagan's successor. They always attempt to claim that Reagan would either endorse or support their positions. There's only one minor flaw with this strategy: Reagan won the presidency 28 years ago. Although he would agree with some issues that modern conservatives have taken a stance on (e.g. abortion or gay rights), the fact remains that the world in 1980 was not the same as it is in 2008 (like the Soviet Union not existing). Nonetheless, this minor temporal detail has not stopped various Republicans from claiming the mantle of being the second coming of Reagan.<ref>[http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/01/30/GOPdebate.transcript/ Click here for a good example of crap like this] (pay careful attention to [[Mitt Romney]]).</ref> |
==Quotes== | ==Quotes== | ||
Revision as of 19:23, 30 August 2008
Saint Ronald Wilson Reagan (February 6, 1911 – June 5, 2004) was a B-movie actor with a long career.
His most famous roles include violating the "never play across from an animal" dictum in "Bedtime for Bonzo", acting in Army promotional films during World War 2 (which he remembered as if it was real), his part as "The Gipper" in some dumb football movie, and playing President of the United States for eight years in the 1980s.
In 1981, he was shot by John Hinckley. Unfortunately, attempting to kill a President is still a crime in this nation, and Hinckley has spent his time since then in prison. Jodie Foster has not visited him.
He also played the President of the Screen Actor's Guild, and did a stint appearing as the Governor of the state of California (but who hasn't?).
Upon his death, a weeklong period of worldwide mourning occurred. All non-essential activities were curtailed so The People could weep for their fallen idol. In addition, any taxes due on income earned (or unearned) during that period were waived. The processions as his open casket was brought around the countryside would often stretch for tens of miles as well-wishers offered St. Reagan one final "Godspeed".
He was canonized upon the instant of his death, by popular acclamation.
Reagan's last words were some of the most poignant in history, and sure to be heralded throughout the ages long with those of Caesar and Nathan Hale. They were (roughly): "flooooooooberrrr smackle-patty. Plop............plop."
He wasn't quite himself those last few years.
Contents |
WWRD
Many conservatives have a massive hard on for Reagan and his policies. Since Reagan was the neo-Conservative savior, anything he did was infallible, and his supporters ought to mimic his every move (a similar attitude these people have towards this guy). As a result every Republican politician will always claim that they are Reagan's successor. They always attempt to claim that Reagan would either endorse or support their positions. There's only one minor flaw with this strategy: Reagan won the presidency 28 years ago. Although he would agree with some issues that modern conservatives have taken a stance on (e.g. abortion or gay rights), the fact remains that the world in 1980 was not the same as it is in 2008 (like the Soviet Union not existing). Nonetheless, this minor temporal detail has not stopped various Republicans from claiming the mantle of being the second coming of Reagan.[1]
Quotes
"Facts are stupid things."
"All great change in America begins at the dinner table."
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."
"My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes."
"Don't be afraid to see what you see."
"What would this country be without this great land of ours?"
"You don't bury someone for five days...I thought that maybe they were burying him with spoons."--Lewis Black on Reagan's funeral procession.
References
- ↑ Click here for a good example of crap like this (pay careful attention to Mitt Romney).