Shoehorning
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<blockquote>"Could the crash of John F. Kennedy Jr.'s airplane in July of 1999 fulfill the line "from the sky will come "the great King of Terror"? Could the human fear of death and bodily injury be the intended definition of "the great King of Terror"? It might be possible."</blockquote> | <blockquote>"Could the crash of John F. Kennedy Jr.'s airplane in July of 1999 fulfill the line "from the sky will come "the great King of Terror"? Could the human fear of death and bodily injury be the intended definition of "the great King of Terror"? It might be possible."</blockquote> | ||
| − | The writer has taken the date, which does correlate with Kennedy's death, and then shoehorned the rest of the quatrain to fit their belief. As is common with shoehorning, they've ignored references that would contradict their claim. How are Mongols and Mars related to Kennedy's plane crash? One could argue that this quatrain predicts the Kargil conflict between India and Pakistan, since there were war planes involved in the fighting, and Mars is the Roman god of war. This is arguably more logical, yet this hypothetical Kargil prophecy still doesn't account for the Mongol reference. Another example is is found in the frequently incorrect reading of the word ''"Hister"'', found in a Nostradamus quatrain, to be a reference to Adolf Hitler. Shoehorning of this quatrain is only possible if one doesn't know that Hister was the [[Latin]] name for the Danube River, thus not a reference to Adolf Hitler.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hister Explanation of Nostradumus' usage of the word ''Hister'']</ref> | + | The writer has taken the date, which does correlate with Kennedy's death, and then shoehorned the rest of the quatrain to fit their belief. As is common with shoehorning, they've ignored references that would contradict their claim. How are Mongols and Mars related to Kennedy's plane crash? One could argue that this quatrain predicts the Kargil conflict between India and Pakistan, since there were war planes involved in the fighting, and Mars is the Roman god of war. This is arguably more logical, yet this hypothetical Kargil prophecy still doesn't account for the Mongol reference. Another example is is found in the frequently incorrect reading of the word ''"Hister"'', found in a Nostradamus quatrain, to be a reference to Adolf Hitler. Shoehorning of this quatrain is only possible if one doesn't know that Hister was the [[Latin]] name for the Danube River, thus not a reference to Adolf Hitler.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hister Explanation of Nostradumus' usage of the word ''Hister'']</ref> However, in another great example of shoehorning, this can be reinterpreted as refering to Hitler because the Danube was near where Hitler was born.<ref>[http://www.nostradamus101.com/prophecies/part2/P2/ Nostradamus 101 - Hitler (Century 1, Quatrain 35)]</ref> |
==Punishment from God== | ==Punishment from God== | ||
Revision as of 17:47, 27 September 2009
Shoehorning is the process of using evidence or events to support a personal agenda, even if the data do not support the conclusion that's been drawn. The process is often forceful, requiring either a very loose use of the facts and definitions or intentionally hiding certain aspects of a fact. This process is very common in prophecy, astrology, and conspiracy theories.
Contents |
A lesson in shoehorning
Shoehorning is a fun and rewarding hobby. The following steps can be used to predict anything that has happened in the past:
- Choose a major historical event, or a famous person
- Read a large book, ideally a vague and contradictory book, noting anything could possibly be related to this person or event (no matter how vaguely)
- Ignore the literary and historical context of the text you're citing, and anything that doesn't support your assertion
- Make a very ugly website in order to share your insights with the world (professional loons recommend randomly coloured and sized text, and random line-breaks)[1]
Prophecy
The prophecies of Nostradamus are hopelessly vague, although many can be related to events of his time. This is similar to the way in which verses from Revelation can be shoehorned in to current events, but understanding the historical context makes it easier to understand that the author was writing about their own time period. True believers will engage in the process of prophecy in reverse, by reading his quatrains to see if any could possibly correlate with an event that has already taken place. Robert T. Carroll of The Skeptic's Dictionary cites the following example:
"The year 1999 seven months From the sky will come the great King of Terror. To resuscitate the great king of the Mongols. Before and after Mars reigns by good luck. (X.72)"[2]
Carroll found the following interpretation on an astrology website (now defunct):
"Could the crash of John F. Kennedy Jr.'s airplane in July of 1999 fulfill the line "from the sky will come "the great King of Terror"? Could the human fear of death and bodily injury be the intended definition of "the great King of Terror"? It might be possible."
The writer has taken the date, which does correlate with Kennedy's death, and then shoehorned the rest of the quatrain to fit their belief. As is common with shoehorning, they've ignored references that would contradict their claim. How are Mongols and Mars related to Kennedy's plane crash? One could argue that this quatrain predicts the Kargil conflict between India and Pakistan, since there were war planes involved in the fighting, and Mars is the Roman god of war. This is arguably more logical, yet this hypothetical Kargil prophecy still doesn't account for the Mongol reference. Another example is is found in the frequently incorrect reading of the word "Hister", found in a Nostradamus quatrain, to be a reference to Adolf Hitler. Shoehorning of this quatrain is only possible if one doesn't know that Hister was the Latin name for the Danube River, thus not a reference to Adolf Hitler.[3] However, in another great example of shoehorning, this can be reinterpreted as refering to Hitler because the Danube was near where Hitler was born.[4]
Punishment from God
Natural disasters are a rich source of shoehorning for religious lunatics. Taking the Asian Tsunami of 2009 as an example, here is a list of people who've linked this to God's plan.[5]
- (Buddhist) Sri Lankan Buddhists speculated that the sea gods may have been angered by their politicians
- (Christian) A Salvation Army officer in Sri Lanka explained that their officers and clergy had their lives spared
- (Christian) Tina M. of Holy Love Ministries blamed abortion
- (Islam) Imams in Indonesia blame Muslims who are not correctly observing the requirements of Islam
- (Islam) Imam Muzammil Siddiqi, head of the Islamic Shura Council of Southern California, explained the Tsunami as being a test
- (Islam) Sheik Fawzan Al-Fawza claimed that God sent the tsunami to punish the fornicators, specifically those evil homosexuals
- (Islam) Saudi cleric Muhammad Al-Munajiid appears to be blaming Christmas parties
- (Judaism) Sephardic Chief rabbi Shlomo of Israel blamed our wrongdoing
This is a short summary, and few of them explain why God would punish people in such an arbitrary fashion? If we accept that he's annoyed with homosexuals, wouldn't San Francisco have been a better target? Far be it for us to tell God how to do his job, but the destruction of all the gay clubs in London by freak tornados would surely have sent a clearer message. Shoehorning works around awkward facts by ignoring them, or explaining disparities as being God's mysterious plan.
See also
Footnotes
- ↑ 2009 Rapture: Lunacy goes hand-in-hand with poor web design
- ↑ The Skeptic's Dictionary entry for Nostradamus
- ↑ Explanation of Nostradumus' usage of the word Hister
- ↑ Nostradamus 101 - Hitler (Century 1, Quatrain 35)
- ↑ Religioustolerance.org examines religious claims of the 2004 Tsunami being God's wrath