Soviet Union

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Revision as of 19:10, 2 March 2010

This scary symbol is probably why it fell.

The Soviet Union was a group of what are now separate countries, dominated by Russia.

Its full name was Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (abbreviated U.S.S.R. in English; in Russian SSSR, written СССР in Cyrillic). Since it was a Communist nation but called itself "socialist", we can deduce that Communism and Socialism are the same thing. The same technique, applied to "German Democratic Republic" or "Democratic People's Republic of Korea" allows us to see that Democracy, Republicanism and Communism are also all the same thing; in the latter case, it also implies that people are all Communists.

Contents

Member "republics"

These are the SSR's of the U.

Empire builder

Big countries

  • Ukraine
  • Belarus (formerly Byelorussia)
  • Kazakhstan
  • Uzbekistan
  • Turkmenistan

Little countries

  • Armenia
  • Azerbaijan
  • Georgia
  • Kyrgyzstan (was known as Kirghizia before the departing Soviets confiscated most of the vowels)
  • Lithuania
  • Latvia
  • The other "Baltic" nation Estonia
  • Moldova
  • Tajikistan

Took a hike, but someone can't let go

  • Abkhazia (part of Georgia)
  • Chechnya (part of Russia, de facto leveled)
  • Nagorno-Karabakh (part of Azerbaijan, claimed by Armenia, de facto independent for complicated diplomatic and military reasons)
  • Transnistria (part of Moldova)

Satellites

Loyal (mostly) commies

These countries were members of the Warsaw Pact, the mutual defense organization created by the Soviet Union to keep its friends close and its enemies closer. East Germany was reunified with West Germany in 1991; Poland, Hungary, and Czech Republic are now NATO allies, much to the great annoyance of Russia. Cuba is the only one that remains officially Communist.

  • Bulgaria
  • Vietnam
  • Cuba
  • East Germany (DDR)
  • Hungary (withdrew from the Warsaw Pact after the 1956 revolution but was forced to join again after the Soviet Union invaded it and crushed the revolution)
  • Poland (Polska) (don't forget them)
  • Romania
  • CzheckzoChekovCheckerCzechoslovakia (broken in two after the dissolution of the Warsaw Pact to make spelling easier)

Commies that weren't so loyal

These were Communist countries that either did not join or withdrew from the Warsaw Pact.

Viet Nam

  • Afghanistan (as in, not quite, but bloody and pointless enough)

In Soviet Russia

  • In America, you watch TV. In Soviet Russia, TV watches YOU!!
  • In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find YOU!!
  • In America, you look for Waldo. In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds YOU!!
  • In America, you bring Lada to junkyard. In Soviet Russia, junkyard bring Lada to YOU!!
  • In America, you enrich uranium. In Soviet Chernobyl, uranium enriches YOU!!
  • In America, you can say "death to America" and not be arrested. In Soviet Russia... you could pretty much get away with saying that too.

See also

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