Sweden
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==Other== | ==Other== | ||
Revision as of 20:44, 15 August 2010
Sweden is a large, damn cold country in Scandinavia. Usually considered a stronghold of social democracy, Sweden is a welfare state, and consistently ranks in the top 10 in the UN Human Development Index. It's also really freaking far north, almost as far north as you can get in Europe.
It borders Norway and Finland, and Denmark across a bridge.
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Exports
They make made Saabs and Volvos and sell sold them to safety-conscious Americans.
IKEA, the giant cardboard put-it-together-yourself furniture chain, is based in Sweden, hence the Swedish meatballs they gladly serve to the homeless in their stores.
The town of Husqvarna (now spelled Huskvarna) produced the following (all built by separate companies named after the town):
- Chainsaws, lawnmowers and gardening equipment
- Motorcycles
- Firearms
- Sewing machines
As John Candy said in the movie Splash, some of the world's finest nudie films came from Sweden.
Ingmar Bergman also made some fine movies. So did Ingrid Bergman. You won't find much sex in any of their movies. At least not much pleasurable sex. For instance, in Cries and Whispers, a woman took the drastic step of masturbating with a glass shard so that her husband would lose interest in her. (!!!!!)
Snus -- those stamp-sized pouches filled with dried snuff that help nicotine addicts get through long stretches in no-smoking areas -- originated in Sweden in the early 19th century. (Pronounced snoos, not snooze.)
Culture
ABBA[1] were great overrated great. And so are hot tubs.
It is also quite interesting to note that the country which gave us those great pirates, pillagers, rapists and looters - the Vikings - managed to turn itself into one of the great liberal democracies in the world. There may yet be hope for the USA.
Sweden is also often ranked as the country that is the most hospitable to women.[2] Among the advantages for women:
- Swedish men do more housework than anywhere else in the world -- 24 hours per week.
- Swedish society does not frown on women who are sexually aggressive.
- Sweden was the first nation to pass a maternity leave law, which now allows up to a one-year leave.
- Sweden passed one of the first laws allowing women to inherit property (1845).
- The Lutheran Church in Sweden was one of the first organized religions to permit female priests.
- One-third of all Swedish police officers are women.
Unfair mockery
The British like to make fun of Swedish accents.
Americans like to make fun of the accents of descendants of Swedish immigrants.
Also, Swedish swearwords don't sound very obscene.
- Fan du, which sounds like fondue, means "fuck you."
- Skitsnack, means "bullshit."
- Jävel, pronounced yeh-fvail, is an all-purpose epithet meaning "bastard," "motherfucker," and/or "son of a bitch."
Fair mockery
The Swedes often make fun of the Norwegians. The Danes, in turn, make fun of the Swedes. It is not known if the total amount of mutual fun in this Nordic triple remains constant.
Other
- Sweden has had continuous peace since 1814.
- A Swedish spruce tree has lived at peace for nearly 10,000 years. This spruce is the oldest known tree in the world. It has been alive since before the creation of the world in 4004 BCE and even survived Noah's flood! [1]
- Fred Phelps hates Sweden. Sweden has yet to make peace with him.[3]
- Oh yeah! Sweden also legalized same-sex marriage in May 2009 [2]. Woohoo!!
Footnotes
- ↑ To be accurate, ABBA was only 75% Swedish. One member was half-Norwegian and half-German. But, that's not her fault.
- ↑ "The World's Best Country for Women", Marie Claire website, accessed 25 March 2010. Copy on MSN website
- ↑ But let's be fair. Ask anybody in Sweden about Fred Phelps and they'll say what most Americans would say: "Fred who?"