Texas
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| − | The <s>State</s> | + | The <s>State</s> '''Republic of Texas''' is a de facto independent country <s>in the southern</s> adjacent to the [[United States]]. Texas has had independence from the United States ever since the '''Most Majestic President [[Rick Parry]], High Prophet of the Most Venerable Family-Based Catholic Church of Texas''', declared the supposed [[States' rights|"state's" independence]] from the yellow bellied yankees. Texas is famous for its high quality ed-jew-ma-kay-shun system, of which the republic focuses most of its "well deserved" <s>taxes</s> profits on. Otherwise, money is thrown at the [[corporate]] leaders in Houston to continue ruining the economic structure of the nation, while all the national heads are kept on the white collar entertainment city of Dallas. |
| − | Six flags have flown over Texas | + | Six flags have flown over Texas: <s>the Spanish, the French, the Spanish ''again'', the Mexicans,</s> the ancient Texans, <s>the United States, the Confederate States, the United States ''again''</s>, and better Texas. When pretending to be just a state in the U.S., they are referred to as the "Lone Star State." Texas has had a large problem with [[immigration]] from [[Mexico]], and Mexico might even annex the country for a <s>''second'', '''''third''''', '''''FOURTH'''''</s> '''''FIFTH''''' time. |
==Texas stuff== | ==Texas stuff== | ||
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[[image:TX winner.gif|thumb|left|They wanted their quarter to be larger than all the others.]] | [[image:TX winner.gif|thumb|left|They wanted their quarter to be larger than all the others.]] | ||
| − | Due to having entered the Union under unusual circumstances, as well as a prevailing spirit of plucky individualism, there are [[Rick Perry|a number of Texans]] who claim not only that Texas should secede from the greater part of the United States, but that it has a unique right to do so, the outcome of the [[American Civil War]] notwithstanding. It is not clear whether or not this right actually exists; that few of its proponents know anything about constitutional law complicates matters significantly. | + | Due to having entered the Union under unusual circumstances, as well as a prevailing spirit of plucky individualism, there are [[Rick Perry|a number of Texans]] who claim not only that Texas should [[secede]] from the greater part of the United States, but that it has a unique right to do so, the outcome of the [[American Civil War]] notwithstanding. It is not clear whether or not this right actually exists; that few of its proponents know anything about constitutional law complicates matters significantly.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S92fTz_-kQE Can Texas Secede from the Union?], CGPGrey</ref> [[Ironic]]ally, Sam Houston, the most well-known hero of the Texas Revolution and the Texan equivalent of [[George Washington]], was an avowed Unionist who actually campaigned ''against'' his state joining the [[Confederacy]] (and was arrested for it). |
==Politics== | ==Politics== | ||
| + | Strangely, Texas was once strongly [[Democratic Party|Democratic]]. Then came the [[Hippie|counterculture]], which Texas blamed on the Democratic Party they had once loved. They have not supported a Democratic presidential candidate since [[Jimmy Carter|1976]]. [[Bill Clinton]] losing Texas in 1992, the first time a Democrat won the [[White House]] without the state, officially made this a [[red state]]. In 2001 50 Democrats from the Texas legislature fled to neighboring [[Oklahoma]]. They did this because [[Republican]] legislators tried to -- and eventually succeeded at -- [[gerrymander]]ing the state. Gerrymandering was one of the strategies used by [[Tom DeLay]] and [[Karl Rove]] in their efforts to create a permanent Republican majority throughout the United States. Which is, again, ironic considering how many Texans believe their <s>state</s> captive nation should secede from the U.S. | ||
| − | + | Despite these loses, Democrats continued to win at the state level. Then in 1994, Democratic governor Ann Richards lost her re-election bid to [[George W. Bush]] and Bush's coattails brought every state office to the Republicans. Then in 2002 Democrats lost the Legislature, officially killing the party. The GOP has held the state ever since and Tom DeLay certainly wouldn't let go of it. | |
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| − | Despite these loses, Democrats continued to win at the state level. Then in 1994, Democratic governor Ann Richards lost her re-election bid to [[George W. Bush]] and Bush's coattails brought every state office to the Republicans. Then in 2002 Democrats lost the Legislature, officially killing the party. The GOP has held the state ever since and | + | |
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There is little hope for sanity in Texas. Need more proof? [http://www.tfn.org/site/PageServer?pagename=issues_religious_right_watch_2012_TXGOP_briefing_paper Have at it.] | There is little hope for sanity in Texas. Need more proof? [http://www.tfn.org/site/PageServer?pagename=issues_religious_right_watch_2012_TXGOP_briefing_paper Have at it.] | ||
===Police=== | ===Police=== | ||
| − | In Texas, if the police don’t like you, especially if your skin is brown rather than white, then they can arrest you for nothing and say it was public intoxication. <ref>[http://motherjones.com/politics/2010/03/texas-racist-laws-drinking-while-brown Cop Walks Into a Bar And...Arrests You. For Having a Drink.]</ref> | + | In Texas, if the police don’t like you, especially if your skin is [[Hispanic|brown]] rather than white, then they can arrest you for nothing and say it was public intoxication.<ref>[http://motherjones.com/politics/2010/03/texas-racist-laws-drinking-while-brown Cop Walks Into a Bar And...Arrests You. For Having a Drink.]</ref> |
===Texan science=== | ===Texan science=== | ||
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*[[Texans for Better Science Education]] -- Creationist group | *[[Texans for Better Science Education]] -- Creationist group | ||
| − | === | + | ===More notable crazies=== |
*[[Joe Barton]] | *[[Joe Barton]] | ||
*[[Louie Gohmert]] | *[[Louie Gohmert]] | ||
Revision as of 04:05, 26 June 2013
The State Republic of Texas is a de facto independent country in the southern adjacent to the United States. Texas has had independence from the United States ever since the Most Majestic President Rick Parry, High Prophet of the Most Venerable Family-Based Catholic Church of Texas, declared the supposed "state's" independence from the yellow bellied yankees. Texas is famous for its high quality ed-jew-ma-kay-shun system, of which the republic focuses most of its "well deserved" taxes profits on. Otherwise, money is thrown at the corporate leaders in Houston to continue ruining the economic structure of the nation, while all the national heads are kept on the white collar entertainment city of Dallas.
Six flags have flown over Texas: the Spanish, the French, the Spanish again, the Mexicans, the ancient Texans, the United States, the Confederate States, the United States again, and better Texas. When pretending to be just a state in the U.S., they are referred to as the "Lone Star State." Texas has had a large problem with immigration from Mexico, and Mexico might even annex the country for a second, third, FOURTH FIFTH time.
Contents |
Texas stuff
Due to having entered the Union under unusual circumstances, as well as a prevailing spirit of plucky individualism, there are a number of Texans who claim not only that Texas should secede from the greater part of the United States, but that it has a unique right to do so, the outcome of the American Civil War notwithstanding. It is not clear whether or not this right actually exists; that few of its proponents know anything about constitutional law complicates matters significantly.[1] Ironically, Sam Houston, the most well-known hero of the Texas Revolution and the Texan equivalent of George Washington, was an avowed Unionist who actually campaigned against his state joining the Confederacy (and was arrested for it).
Politics
Strangely, Texas was once strongly Democratic. Then came the counterculture, which Texas blamed on the Democratic Party they had once loved. They have not supported a Democratic presidential candidate since 1976. Bill Clinton losing Texas in 1992, the first time a Democrat won the White House without the state, officially made this a red state. In 2001 50 Democrats from the Texas legislature fled to neighboring Oklahoma. They did this because Republican legislators tried to -- and eventually succeeded at -- gerrymandering the state. Gerrymandering was one of the strategies used by Tom DeLay and Karl Rove in their efforts to create a permanent Republican majority throughout the United States. Which is, again, ironic considering how many Texans believe their state captive nation should secede from the U.S.
Despite these loses, Democrats continued to win at the state level. Then in 1994, Democratic governor Ann Richards lost her re-election bid to George W. Bush and Bush's coattails brought every state office to the Republicans. Then in 2002 Democrats lost the Legislature, officially killing the party. The GOP has held the state ever since and Tom DeLay certainly wouldn't let go of it.
There is little hope for sanity in Texas. Need more proof? Have at it.
Police
In Texas, if the police don’t like you, especially if your skin is brown rather than white, then they can arrest you for nothing and say it was public intoxication.[2]
Texan science
- Texas Board of Education, which has some interesting personalities serving on it
- Texans for Better Science Education -- Creationist group
More notable crazies
Footnotes
- ↑ Can Texas Secede from the Union?, CGPGrey
- ↑ Cop Walks Into a Bar And...Arrests You. For Having a Drink.
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