...and then smack him in the face with the penguin! He'll go crazy for you!
Give him a sexy surprise by ambushing him when he comes home from work with a blackjack, then, when he's unconscious, take all his clothes and tie him to a tree in the garden. If you're feeling extra adventurous, try slashing him with a small dirk on all the most sensitive parts of his body and wait for him to wake up with the vinegar bottle in your hand. When he comes to, tell him his parents are dead and then force his dog that you have been starving for the last week to eat his genitals. Remember to spice things up by switching roles!