Vampire

From RationalWiki
(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m (removed Category:Dead guys using HotCat)
(See also: General clean-up.)
Line 26: Line 26:
 
<ref>[http://www.earthspirit.com/fireheart/fhvampire.html Real Vampires]</ref>
 
<ref>[http://www.earthspirit.com/fireheart/fhvampire.html Real Vampires]</ref>
  
==See also==
+
== See also ==
*[[Otherkin]]
+
 
*[[Lycanthropy]]
+
 
*[[Goth]]
 
*[[Goth]]
 +
*[[Lycanthropy]]
 +
*[[Otherkin]]
 
*[[Roman Catholic Church]]
 
*[[Roman Catholic Church]]
*[[User:Radioactive afikomen]]
+
*[[Zombies]]—the other, less intelligent, more decayed, and likely smellier form of undead.
*[[Zombies]], the other, less intelligent, more decayed, and likely smellier form of undead
+
  
 
==External links==
 
==External links==

Revision as of 00:25, 7 April 2011

Vampires are mythical undead creatures that vant to suck your blood. Many people (primarily fifteen year-old girls) find vampires incredibly hawt. Some will go so far as to dress and almost act like them. Others find the penetration aspect disconcerting. Very few vampires have been known to be whiny teenagers who sparkle in the sun.

Contents

Origins

The modern concept of the cool vampire that women would actually want to have bite them probably stems originally from nineteenth century pulp fiction like Varney the Vampire. Bram Stoker's Dracula novel is the only one remembered nowadays, partly because of a highly successful stage adaptation and, later, numerous identical film versions. (After its publication, multiple television and movie adaptations were based on the character, and the Castlevania video game series has Dracula as the antagonist of several games.) That and the lashings of alluring vampire women, heaving bosoms and ... excuse me, I need a cold shower...

Before this, European vampires were something more akin to werewolves or zombies: the mythical undead danger in the forest. And rather icky.

Chinese vampires are an entirely different ball of wax, not unlike the difference between Asian and European dragons.

In popular culture

In pop culture, from films such as Blade and Night Watch to TV shows such as Being Human and Count Duckula, vampires being nice and not drinking blood is a common theme. Some will just feast on animal blood, some will "go on the wagon" (plus many other references to alcoholism). However, even a vegetarian vampire can't get blood from a turnip.

Vampires also tend to fight with other mythical creatures across various works of fiction. Almost without exception, the vampires are the cool ones at the top of the food chain, while werewolves are usually the butt of their jokes. Not even Discworld is able to escape this stereotype.

Vampires are also, disregarding any previous evidence, able to walk in sunlight. Previous to the 20st Century, the Holy Power of sunlight turned vampires into dust. With advances in scientific knowledge, humanity found that vampires were weak to U.V. rays, causing the aforementioned dust transformation. Now, thanks to ingenuity and Stephenie Meyer,[1] all a vampire needs to keep from turning into ash is some bleached hair, sunscreen, and bad plot devices.

Garlic or crucifixes may or may not drive vampires away.

How to kill a vampire

Vampires are immortal are almost immortal but they need to suck the blood of the living in order to survive and they can be killed by sunlight by a silver bullet, (Lone Ranger please note) or by an oak stave driven through the heart. [2]

Stupidity

Some people actually think they're vampires, though what they define as vampire varies, with one such laughable variation known as the "psychic vampire".[3] or "energy vampire".[4]

Some people really think that are vampire hunters. Perhaps the best known is real-life weirdo [5] Bishop Seán Manchester. However, he is beaten in popularity by the fictional Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which has been declared the second best show of all time by Empire,[6] while "Seán Manchester" on Wikipedia gets a redirect to the Highgate Vampire article. [7] [8]

See also

External links

Footnotes

  1. Who has a lot to answer for...
  2. http://lifeisreallybeautiful.com/amazing-wacky-things/wanna-buy-a-mummified-vampire-heart/
  3. "A Vampire's Life? It's Really Draining", The Washington Post, November 24 2008.
  4. "Energy Vampires" by Dr. Bruce Goldberg.
  5. Confirmed as weirdo in Ofcom broadcast bulletin 58, Apr 2006, pages 44-50
  6. http://www.empireonline.com/50greatesttv/default.asp?tv=2
  7. http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Sean_Manchester&redirect=no
  8. Real Vampires
Personal tools
Namespaces

Variants
Actions
Navigation
Community
Tools
support