War on Christmas

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[[Image:Lolgrinch.png|thumb|220px|left|The liberal plot to ban the sacred holiday is worse than you think!]]
 
  
 
{{cquote|It was the Yuletide, that men call Christmas though they know in their hearts it is older than Bethlehem and Babylon, older than Memphis and mankind.|||[http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Festival H.P. Lovecraft]}}
 
{{cquote|It was the Yuletide, that men call Christmas though they know in their hearts it is older than Bethlehem and Babylon, older than Memphis and mankind.|||[http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Festival H.P. Lovecraft]}}
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==The War in politics==
 
==The War in politics==
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[[Image:Lolgrinch.png|thumb|The liberal plot to ban the sacred holiday is worse than you think!]]
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In 2007, even some of the Presidential candidates took up the war, with [[Mike Huckabee]] claiming that it might be "controversial," but he was going to wish the gathered Iowa Republicans a "Merry Christmas".<ref>http://www.weeklystandard.com/weblogs/CampaignStandard/2007/12/hayes_a_merry_christmas_for_hu.asp</ref>  Oh noes!!!
 
In 2007, even some of the Presidential candidates took up the war, with [[Mike Huckabee]] claiming that it might be "controversial," but he was going to wish the gathered Iowa Republicans a "Merry Christmas".<ref>http://www.weeklystandard.com/weblogs/CampaignStandard/2007/12/hayes_a_merry_christmas_for_hu.asp</ref>  Oh noes!!!
  

Revision as of 15:50, 2 October 2009

What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

War

Icon war2.svg
Don't believe us?
It was the Yuletide, that men call Christmas though they know in their hearts it is older than Bethlehem and Babylon, older than Memphis and mankind.
H.P. Lovecraft

The so-called "War on Xmas" is a right wing demagogic neologism referring to secular progressives' attempts to keep the December solstice holiday shopping season culturally inclusive.

It is a seasonal favorite talking point of Bore O'Reilly, who is apparently horrified - yes, horrified! - that WalMart greeters might wish that shoppers enjoy "Happy Holidays" - despite the fact that his own website sold "holiday ornaments" rather than Xmas ornaments.[1]

The fact that "Happy Holidays" refers to over a dozen holidays (see below) never seems to have any real effect on the demagoguery; neither does the idea that Christmas itself was first made by blatantly ripping off a pagan holiday (let's hear it for the War on Yule!). So, loony Religious Rightists keep yammering about it and secularists keep making jokes about going along with it.[2]

In 2008, the ante has been raised, as a columnist has blamed the entire economic crisis on the war on Christmas. Daniel Henninger said that the push against Christmas is leading us to a "Mad Max" type environment.[3]

Contents

The War in politics

The liberal plot to ban the sacred holiday is worse than you think!

In 2007, even some of the Presidential candidates took up the war, with Mike Huckabee claiming that it might be "controversial," but he was going to wish the gathered Iowa Republicans a "Merry Christmas".[4] Oh noes!!!

Late December celebrations

One fine sentiment.
  • Alban Arthuan
  • Boxing Day
  • Chrismukkah
  • Festivus
  • Hanukkah
  • Inti Raymi
  • Kwanzaa
  • Holiday (Pastafarianism)
  • Lenaea
  • New Year's Eve
  • New Year's Day (also celebrated on the first of April, by fools)
  • Ramadan has recently fallen during this time of year, though since Islamic holidays are on a lunar calendar it is progressing backwards through the calendar.
  • Eid Al Adha (Islamic New Year) currently falls during this time of the year, but like Ramadan, progresses backwards through the calendar.
  • Saturnalia
  • Second Rite of Belial
  • Solstice (winter in the northern hemisphere, summer in the southern)
  • Thanksgiving (in some places)
  • The Long Night
  • Xmas
  • Yule (or Juul)
  • My brother Geir's birthday.
  • Newtonmas

Weapons used in the War

War on seasonal houseplants!
  • Holly
  • Ivy
  • Mistletoe
  • Mummery
  • Yule logs
  • Gift exchanges
  • Decorated evergreen trees
  • Magical reindeer
  • Plastic, life-size Santas
  • Flesh and blood, alcoholic Santas
  • Alcohol
  • Strings of colored lights
  • Wreaths

See also

External links

Footnotes

  1. http://mediamatters.org/items/200511300006
  2. When, in fact, most secularists really don't mind "Merry Christmas"; as a general rule it's mostly just a few butthurt egotists who complain every year. Though sometimes ostensibly liberal in their politics, these people are properly referred to as "Grinches".
  3. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122714101083742715.html
  4. http://www.weeklystandard.com/weblogs/CampaignStandard/2007/12/hayes_a_merry_christmas_for_hu.asp
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