West Virginia

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==Moviez==
 
==Moviez==
Two really good ones: ''Matewan'' is about an infamous coal miners strike in 1920 that ended with a shootout between striking miners and strike-breaking thugs from the Baldwin-Felts [[mercenary|"private detective"]] agency.    ''October Sky'' is based on Homer Hickam Jr.'s autobiography ''Rocket Boys'' and is about high school kids inspired by Sputnik and the space race to study rocketry and [[science]], much to the displeasure of older folk who thought that there rocket stuff was unsafe and the boys should give up the book-learnin' and get jobs on the mines like everyone else.
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Two really good ones: ''Matewan'' is about an infamous coal miners strike in 1920 that ended with a shootout between striking miners and strike-breaking thugs from the Baldwin-Felts [[mercenary|"private detective"]] agency.    ''October Sky'' is based on Homer Hickam Jr.'s autobiography ''Rocket Boys'' and is about high school kids inspired by Sputnik and the space race to study rocketry and [[science]], much to the displeasure of older folk who thought that there rocket stuff was unsafe and the boys should give up the book-learnin' and get jobs in the mines like everyone else.
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''"You a squirrel preacher boy?  You know what a squirrel preacher is? It's a preacher who goes out in the woods and preaches to the Holy Rodent"'' - Baldwin-Felts agent in ''Matewan''
  
 
==Religion==
 
==Religion==

Revision as of 14:08, 28 March 2009

Hands across the water (water), heads across the sky!

West Virginia is a United States state that was formed during the Civil War, and consists of the part of Virginia that did not support secession, even though it also had slaves. No one really knows why they chose to leave the state, but lord, Virginia is glad they did.

Contents

The good stuff

WVA, yup.

West Virginia is full of beautiful mountains, choo choo trains, coal mines, moonshine stills, rock climbing, BASE jumping, and awesome white-water rafting. The best thing to ever come from West Virginia is Senator Robert Byrd, who despite once being in the Ku Klux Klan, has gone on to be a force for civil rights and liberties. Also, he is apparently the only Senator who still believes that nothing should be voted on until it's been read. The other best thing was Congressman Ken Hechler (9 terms, 1959-1977), who was about where Bernie Sanders is politically and yet kept getting re-elected by wide margins in a southern state.

Accents

In southern West Virginia folks talk like they're from Tennessee, and in northern West Virginia folks talk like they're from Pittsburgh. Nobody knows how folks in the middle of the state talk, because nobody has dared venture very far into this uncivilized wasteland. Rumor has it that those few who do venture into the interior of the state are kidnapped by tommyknockers and put to work in the mines, where they load sixteen tons a day and go deeper in debt to the company store.

Edumakashun

File:WestVirginiaMountaineers.png
Mountaineers are always stoned drunk free

In West Virginia, the public school curriculum features the four R's: readin, 'ritin, 'rithmetic, and rifles![1]

Jobs

"A few lucky ones go to college on a football scholarship. Everybody else works in the mines." - the high school principal in October Sky

Tourist attractions

  • Beckley Exhibition Coal Mine in Beckley
  • Coalwood, home of teh Rocket Boyz!
  • New River Gorge, home of awesome whitewater rafting
  • New River Gorge Bridge in Fayetteville, whence you can legally jump with a parachute once a year without even having to use a perfectly good airplane
  • Seneca Rocks, home of awesome rock climbing
  • Jamboree in the Hills in Wheeling (actually Morristown, Ohio, but that's a technicality), home of awesome live music
  • Harpers Ferry
  • Charles Town Races and Slots, they're right down the road, where the action is hot! YOW!
  • The Church of the Lord Jesus in Jolo (snake handling is to West Virginia what prostitution is to Nevada, i.e. it's legal!)

Wildlife

West Virginia has a lot of squirrels, but not so many goats. Some of those squirrels are very silly.

Moviez

Two really good ones: Matewan is about an infamous coal miners strike in 1920 that ended with a shootout between striking miners and strike-breaking thugs from the Baldwin-Felts "private detective" agency. October Sky is based on Homer Hickam Jr.'s autobiography Rocket Boys and is about high school kids inspired by Sputnik and the space race to study rocketry and science, much to the displeasure of older folk who thought that there rocket stuff was unsafe and the boys should give up the book-learnin' and get jobs in the mines like everyone else.

"You a squirrel preacher boy? You know what a squirrel preacher is? It's a preacher who goes out in the woods and preaches to the Holy Rodent" - Baldwin-Felts agent in Matewan

Religion

West Virginia is sometimes grouped as part of the Bible Belt, but in fact has one of the lowest rates of religious adherence in the U.S. (the six most irreligious states being Washington, Oregon, Maine, Nevada, Alaska, and West Virginia), but slightly above average in regular church attendance (meaning those few who are religious adherents tend to attend church religiously, perhaps far more so than in other states).

In northern West Virginia (Morgantown north to Weirton) Roman Catholicism is the most common religion. In most of the rest of the state, Methodists tend to dominate, although Baptists become more prominent the further south one goes. There are two exceptions: the Episcopal Church seems to be strong in Jefferson County (the farthest eastern county in the state), and Pentecostalism dominates in McDowell County (the farthest southern county in the state). No one knows why in either case.

The state is thankfully far more free of the megachurch menace than most other places, but this is a mixed blessing; what it means is the churches are still very much all about that old-time religion and stepping into one is like going through a time warp.

Contrary to popular stereotype, snake handling is not the most prevalent religion by a long shot, although it should be noted that West Virginia is the only state in Appalachia where the practice is actually legal, and the few snake handling churches there practice openly and welcome visitors unlike in other states where they have to meet secretly.

Notable people not from West Virginia

  • John Denver was not from West Virginia, although he wanted you to believe he was. Colorado is another victim of this campaign of liberal deceit by John Denver (RIP).
  • John Brown has hero-of-Harpers-Ferry status but was actually from Connecticut. Kansas is another victim of this liberal deceit.

Footnotes

  1. According to the New York Times, 2008 March 8.
The Bible Belt
Bible belt.PNG Alabama - Arkansas - Florida - Georgia
Kansas - Kentucky - Louisiana - Mississippi
Missouri - North Carolina - Oklahoma - South Carolina
Tennessee - Texas - Virginia - West Virginia - Jesusland
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