Acutonics

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Told you it was silly
Against allopathy

Alternative medicine

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The sounds of the Universe are brought into health care through the use of precision calibrated planetary tuning forks and symphonic planetary gongs.
—Ohhh, planets -- of course![1]

Acutonics is acupuncture for people who want the full placebo effect without the risks and discomfort of having needles stuck in them, so the the healing power of woo™ is delivered through vibrations with tuning forks and gongs.

No, honestly, it really is. This is what their homepage says about it:

Acutonics, n. 1. System of vibrational sound healing rooted in Oriental Medicine and philosophy that utilizes tuning forks and symphonic gongs tuned to the planets, Tibetan bowls, bells, drums, and rattles. Connecting body, mind, and soul in the journey toward optimal health, harmonic attunement or at-one-ment with all things in the Universe. 2. The integral way, undifferentiated wholeness, the essence of Tao.

So there you go. Completely credible.

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