Adam

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Biblical figures

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Adam, in Judeo-Christian mythology, was the first human created by God. He was made after the plants and animals and put on Earth as boss of all of them. In some versions of genesis Adam was made at the same time as Lilith. Adam thought he was Lilith's master as well, but she refused to make love below him saying they were made of the same earth at the same time and were equals. Lilith flew off, married Samael Satan, and became the first vampire succubus, later promising to murder Adams human children and rape him in the middle of the night to sire her demonic hoard. Eve came a bit later, presumably because Adam was getting lonely and God wanted to reward his hard work with a fuck-free fuck-buddy. They were both naked and they didn't know what to do about that at first. He is also famous for liking pomegranates apples, although this seems to have caused some problems. Eve liked them as well. That’s according to God's blog, the book of Genesis (not the band).

A frequent insult hurled against Ann Coulter is to point out her prominent Adam's apple.

[edit] Navel

One curious question surrounding Adam, and Lilith Eve for that matter, is whether or not they would have had navels (belly-buttons). Obviously, as they weren't born in the conventional sense, they wouldn't have needed umbillical cords (and there are cases where people don't have belly buttons because they heal up perfectly, causing some interesting results that require the attention of photoshop, but we digress). More interestingly, as they were "born" fully formed, where did they get their basic knowledge of how to operate their bodies in the first place? Newborns - essentially the human equivalent of a laptop that's just had fdisk ran on it - are notorious for being malco-ordinated for several months.

[edit] See also

[edit] Don't see also

Adam Ant and Adam West are his distant descendants. Look how far we have come!

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