Alabama
Alabama is one of many places in the Old South where you can buy a gun quite easily, but the selling of sex toys is illegal. And always will be. They need a Lawrence v. Texas. You know those old laws, like oranges are illegal every third Tuesday that's a full moon, and sodomy laws that were instated in 1709? Well, Alabama has one: selling guns to kids gets a $500 fine; but a sex toy will get you $10,000 and a year in jail! While the archaic law was eventually challenged, it still remains a law today. The year the archaic law was created? 1998.[1] Nonetheless, many of its inhabitants consider it a sweet home where no one needs Neil Young around.[citation NOT needed]
Other wacky Alabama laws:
- It is illegal for anyone to put salt on railroad tracks
- It is against the law to buy a sack of peanuts after sundown.
- It is unlawful for men to trade mules after dark.
- It's illegal to play dominoes on Sunday.
Something Alabamians probably don't know about the favorite daughter pictured on their state quarter: she was a hard-core socialist, and therefore would likely not be a Republican (at least not if she were alive today), like most of them are.
Contents |
[edit] Politics
A large majority of Alabamians are Republicans, as are both of the state's senators (Jeff Sessions and Richard Shelby) and six of the state's seven representatives. The state has not supported a Democratic presidential candidate since 1976, when it voted for Jimmy Carter. At the state level, politics are also dominated by Republicans, though this is a surprisingly recent development: 2010 was the first time since Reconstruction that both houses of the state legislature were controlled by Republicans. The state elects its judges, and Republicans presently hold every spot on the Alabama Supreme Court, which may explain why that body recently engaged in states' rights grandstanding on the issue of same-sex marriage.[2] Roy Moore may or may not also have something to do with it. Local politics are a bit more of a mixed bag, as many offices are still held by Democrats. It is not uncommon for only one party to field a candidate in many local elections, meaning that the primaries effectively function as elections in many cases. This occasionally has some humorous effects, such as officeholders going full DINO/RINO being miles a bit far off their party's "standard" line. The state has a system of school vouchers in place[3][4], and the legislature passed a bill allowing charter schools in March 2015.[5]
[edit] Attitude towards African Americans
Humor writer Bill Bryson, in his autobiography The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid, recounts the following story from the August 23rd 1958 issue of the Des Moines Register that is utterly horrifying:
“”MOBILE, ALA. (AP)- The Alabama Supreme Court yesterday upheld a death sentence imposed on a Negro handyman, Jimmy Wilson, 55, for robbing Mrs. Esteele Barker of $1.95 at her home last year. Mrs. Barker is white. Although robbery is a capital offense in Alabama, no one has been executed in the state before for a theft of less than $5. A court official suggested that the jury had been influenced by the fact that Mrs. Barker told the jury that Wilson had spoken to her in a disrespectful tone. A spokesman for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People called the death sentence 'a sad blot on the nation' but said the organization is unable to aid the condemned man because it is barred in Alabama.[6]
|
But things are beginning to improve. In 2013, a government panel recommended doing away with a section in state's 1901 constitution requiring separate schools for white and colored children. The group is hopeful they can overcome the opposition that retained the clause in a 2004 statewide vote.[7] Of course, that clause is inoperative no matter what, but Alabamians are strangely fond of completely meaningless reactionary actions, especially those involving small men standing in very large schoolhouse/auditorium doors and delivering prepared speeches.
[edit] Notorious Alabamians
- George Wallace
- Roy Moore
- Nick Saban (roll
period"crimson tide") - Gus Malzahn (War Eagle)
[edit] Slightly less notorious Alabamians
- Roy Spencer
- Mike Hubbard
- John Eidsmoe
- William Brevard Hand
[edit] Other exports
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ http://justjohnwright.com/general/alabama-law-continues-to-ban-sale-of-sex-toys/
- ↑ http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2015/03/alabama_supreme_court_orders_h.html
- ↑ http://alisondb.legislature.state.al.us/ALISON/SearchableInstruments/2013RS/PrintFiles/HB84-enr.pdf Straight from the snake's mouth, but very much prone to technical issues/downtime.
- ↑ http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2015/03/alabama_senate_republicans_cut.html 2015 expansion proposal
- ↑ http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2015/03/gov_robert_bentley_signs_alaba.html
- ↑ He got off "lightly": his sentence was commuted into life imprisonment and was freed seventeen years later; this fellow wasn't so lucky.
- ↑ Commission approves replacement for racist wording in Alabama Constitution, by Tim Lockette, The Anniston Star, 12 August 2013
- ↑ They just don't let us fly 'em fancy space machines!
- ↑ Technically, only the Army's UAVs, though interoperability is a perpetual buzzword/bogeyman.
| The Bible Belt | |
| Alabama - Arkansas - Florida - Georgia Kansas - Kentucky - Louisiana - Mississippi Missouri - North Carolina - Oklahoma - South Carolina Tennessee - Texas - Virginia - West Virginia - Jesusland | |