|One of the|
|And a dirty dozen more|
Ann "Coultergeist" Coulter (b. 1961) has built a career as a political "pundit" of sorts by writing and saying extreme, inflammatory versions of the so-called "acceptable" right-wing talking points, even going so far to say that the USA should invade Canada. The "acceptable" versions use code words and skilled rhetoric to make them sound reasonable. Ms. Coulter says what their proponents are "really thinking." On this basis, it is hard to tell whether she serves the right wing in a useful way or merely acts as a lightning rod to distract liberal commentators from less-extreme conservative views.
Ann Coulter is very unpopular in many quarters (such as William Shatner's). She is also alleged, by some, to be a shameless self-publicist; a point she is wont to refute in her frequent television and press appearances.
Although she appears to be constructed of genuine female factory parts, they're assembled in strange ways… and may not be entirely human. In any case, her right wing is 2.472x10320 times more massive than her left wing.
If you can find every single problem with American society and put them into one person, it's her. Proceed with caution, because you're going to need a drink after this.
 Legal career
Ann Coulter was trained as a lawyer, which may account for many of her unpleasant traits, as with other off-the-edge right-wing commentators like Neil Boortz. Coulter became a political ambulance chaser, running after such fringe notables as Anita Hill and Paula Jones.
 Historical revisionism
Ann Coulter has been accused of distorting history - basically an Orwellian crime that removes the truth from the record. Coulter, unshockingly distorts historical narrative by minimizing, denying, perverting, bending or simply ignoring the facts. Writer John McNally comments "My new novel, America's Report Card, is dedicated to Ann Coulter, but it's not a warm and loving dedication. It reads, 'To America's Iago, Ann Coulter, for rewriting history to suit her own nefarious purposes'."
Coulter has repeatedly come out in support of the fucking Confederacy. She has also gloated that it was the Democrats (who have since become the Republicans) who formed the KKK and held to segregationist policies. You can't have it both ways, Ann.
Coulter's view on McCarthyism is her most dangerous attempt at historical revisionism. In an incredibly titled chapter "THE INDISPENSABLE JOE MCCARTHY" of her book "TREASON: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism", Coulter portrays the figurehead of the eponymous anti-communist witch hunt and the most severe period of cultural and artistic censorship in American history to be a victim of liberal persecution. "The myth of 'McCarthyism' is the greatest Orwellian fraud of our times," Coulter pounds. "Liberals are fanatical liars, then as now. Everything you think you know about McCarthy is a hegemonic lie."
 Coulter on Coulter
Coulter remarked in her book Slander,
“”"Books that become publishing scandals by virtue of phony research, invented facts, or apocryphal stories invariably grind political axes for the left… but it’s hard to think of a single hoax book written by a conservative."
Apparently Coulter felt impelled to rectify this oversight.
 In Defense
Ann Coulter is (in)famous for the massive amount of unbiased truth present in her commentaries. She makes use of many intelligent arguments to persuade others to accept freedom. Ann Coulter is a perfectly sane Christian who believes in equal rights, female equality and religious freedom. Her one bad characteristic is her unsettling tendency to brutally rape words so that they no longer mean anything.
In 2001 Coulter was named one of the top 100 Public Intellectuals by federal judge Richard A. Posner. Posner, an appointee of Republican president Ronald Reagan, provoked outrage in the legal community in 1999 when, in an article in Raritan magazine, he contended that "the rule of law is an accidental and dispensable element of legal ideology", and caused another stir in an article that put forth the argument that buying and selling babies on the free market would lead to better outcomes than the present situation of government-regulated adoption.
Of course, the Top 100 Public Intellectuals is a bit of an interesting idea. "She agrees with me and makes loads of propaganda for me to win! She's so SMART!" Uh huh.
 April Fools prank
On April 1, 2009, Ann Coulter published in her Human Events article the following passage:
“”If Obama can tell GM and Chrysler that their participation in NASCAR is an "unnecessary expenditure," isn't having public schools force students to follow Muslim rituals, recite Islamic prayers and plan "jihads" also an "unnecessary expenditure"? Are all those school condom purchases considered "necessary expenditures"?
Coulter got such a bizarre notion from an April Fools prank from the magazine Car and Driver. According to ThinkProgress, Rush Limbaugh (in an unbelievable bout of stopped clocking) said "If you really want to pull something off, don't do it on a day where people are going to immediately doubt it. It's absolutely silly. Car and Driver has a phony page on the website saying Obama has banned Ford, Chevy, and a bunch of others from NASCAR. Well, now, who's going to believe this?" Someone so clouded by hate she didn't bother to check out the story, obviously.
She is responsible for many crimes against humanity in book form, including:
- High Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Case Against Bill Clinton, in which Ann tried to get in good with Clinton by playing hard to get. She really wanted to be Monica, but she was too skinny.
- Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right argued that good old G.W. was treated badly by the media - except Fox News, who won him the election (well them, Katherine Harris, and the Supreme Court). It was on The New York Times Best Seller list for seven weeks, proving that Conservatives can read (Although it has been argued by atheist evolutionist scientists that conservatives may have only bought it partly to get it on the bestseller list and partly because they may have actually felt smart buying a book, before going home to stare at the pretty and colorful pictures on the cover, upside down).
- Slander should not be confused with her college dissertations Slender (1979), Skinny (1980), and Anorexic (1981).
- Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism - This book argues something, but as most readers with a brain stem vomited violently after eight or nine pages, the argument is still lost. This book also spent time on the Best Seller list (13 weeks). It is believed that sales of the Bible fell dramatically as a result.
- How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter - This wasn't actually a book, but a collection of columns penned by Coulter.
- Godless: The Church of Liberalism - In this tome, Coulter argues that the Librulz reject Gawd and hate those who don't. She also argues that Liberalism is a religion in itself, a connection which made sense in her mind. Godless debuted at number one on The New York Times Best Seller list. Shortly thereafter the Hudson River turned to blood.
- If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans was published in October, 2007, but Stephen Colbert's Book I Am America (And So Can You!) came out at the same time, so no one gave a damn.
- Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and their Assault on America - In this book, Coulter claims that liberals are always claiming to be victims while victimizing conservatives. Never mind that conservatives make railing against their victimization at the hands of secularists/atheists/liberals a central theme of theirs.
- Demonic: How the Liberal Mob Is Endangering America - Looks like a vampire novel with its name and black cover. In this one, Coulter claims...what the title states, that liberals are demonic, a mob, coddles mobs, are the mob, and are endangering America. So, yeah. The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!
Despite the many books, Coulter is best known as the woman who ran shrieking when confronted by a pie (not to be confused with pi) in Arizona. This was not from fear of the assault, as usually assumed, but because the sight of the fat-filled desert utterly terrified her.
 Evolution and the "Flatulent Raccoon Theory"
Coulter's Godless prompted a flurry of responses in skeptical circles due to its chapter on evolution
ripped off from written with the "tutoring" of William Dembski and Michael Behe. According to Coulter, the "flatulent raccoon theory," in which a raccoon farts and creates the universe, is as likely to have happened as evolution.
 Criticism from the right
Although most of Coulter's detractors, obviously, hold a less extreme point of view than she does, there are a lone few whom she cannot answer simply by yelling "LIBERAL!" at the top of her lungs.
“”I wish Ann Coulter would shut up. I know, I know – she won’t, as long as she breathes. But, this is my wish – that she shut up immediately. Utterly lacking in discretion and thus standing out as a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout – and always wearing the attire of a harlot – this disgusting female, who says she is a Christian...
|—"Dear Ann Coulter: Please Shut Up"|
Coulter accepted an invitation to give a speech at "Homocon", a conference sponsored by the homosexual Republican group GOProud. They are in favour of same-sex marriage and military service for open homosexuals, something that would be anathema to your more wingnut right-winger. Such as Joseph Farah, who claimed he dumped her because of "homoconflict."
Once news that the "right-wing Judy Garland" would be addressing the convention broke, WorldNetDaily dropped her as their keynote speaker at their "Taking America Back National Conference." Farah claimed he withdrew the invitation because Coulter no longer espoused the ideals he saw for the right, and he did not wish to be associated with the "radical and very 'unconservative' agenda" of GOProud.
 Fukushima disaster
Ann Coulter seems to have taken a shine to the crank version of radiation hormesis. She wrote an article stating that radiation released during the crisis at the Fukushima nuclear power plant in Japan was good for you and can reduce the rate of cancers. She then went on the The O’Reilly Factor to talk about it stating "that the scientific consensus has changed, but that the media are not reporting it." Bill O'Reilly for once was the voice of reason in pointing out the real dangerous effects of radiation. Many people started fund raising drives to send Coulter to the Fukushima reactor so she may experience the healing powers herself, but she hasn't taken anyone up on the offer yet.
- For her greatest hits, see this video.
- "I'm always suspicious when a story is covered heavily on one of the liberal stations and not being talked about on Fox. For example, the birther story, all over MSNBC -- no one on Fox ever mentioned it." - Fox & Friends Saturday on June 11, 2010. Yes, she really said that.
- "Thanks for not staring at my Adam’s apple."
- "I would like evolution to join the roster of other discredited religions, like the Cargo cult of the South Pacific. Practitioners of Cargo Cult believed that manufactured products were created by ancestral spirits, and if they imitated what they had seen the white man do, they could cause airplanes to appear out of the sky, bringing valuable cargo like radios and TVs. So they constructed "airport towers" out of bamboo and "headphones" out of coconuts and waited for the airplanes to come with the cargo. It may sound silly, but in defense of the Cargo Cult, they did not wait as long for evidence supporting their theory as the Darwinists have waited for evidence supporting theirs." - Interview with Lisa De Pasquale, June 6, 2006
- "The ethic of conservation is the explicit abnegation of man's dominion over the Earth. The lower species are here for our use. God said so: Go forth, be fruitful, multiply, and rape the planet -- it's yours. That's our job: drilling, mining and stripping. Sweaters are the anti-Biblical view. Big gas-guzzling cars with phones and CD players and wet bars--that's the Biblical view." - "Oil Good; Democrats bad"; October 12, 2000
- "I think our motto should be, post 9/11, "raghead talks tough, raghead faces consequences." - At Conservative Political Action Committee conference; February 10, 2006
- "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." - New York Observer, September 12, 2001
- "You don't want the Republicans in power, does that mean you want a dictatorship, gay boy?" - Indiana University speech, February 23, 2006
- "They're Democrats always accusing us of repressing their speech. I say let's do it. Let's repress them. Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment." - University of Florida speech; October 20, 2005
- "My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism."- MSNBC February 8, 1997
- "Incidentally, if (Joe) Wilson believed his own Walter Mitty fantasy about his wife being a covert spy -- so secret that his entire family could be killed if her identity were revealed -- maybe he should have thought twice before writing an op-ed for the New York Times calling the President a liar based on information acquired solely because his wife works at the CIA." - Godless: The Church of Liberalism, p.123
- "Everyone says liberals love America, too. No they don't. Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy. This is their essence. The left's obsession with the crimes of the West and their Rousseauian respect for Third World savages all flow from this subversive goal. If anyone has the gaucherie to point out the left's nearly unblemished record of rooting against America, liberals turn around and scream 'McCarthyism!'
- "If Hitler hadn't turned against their beloved Stalin, liberals would have stuck by him, too."
- "Liberals used to tell us they were teaching fisting to fourth graders."
- "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."
- "It would be a much better country (the United States) if women did not vote. That is simply a fact. In fact, in every presidential election since 1950 - except Goldwater in '64 - the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted."
- "I think [women] should be armed but should not vote. No, they all have to give up their vote, not just, you know, the lady clapping and me. The problem with women voting -- and your Communists will back me up on this -- is that, you know, women have no capacity to understand how money is earned. They have a lot of ideas on how to spend it. And when they take these polls, it's always more money on education, more money on child care, more money on day care."
- "Throw in enough words like imagine, perhaps, and might have -- and you've got yourself a scientific theory! How about this: Imagine a giant raccoon passed gas and perhaps the resulting gas might have created the vast variety of life we see on Earth. And if you don't accept the giant raccoon flatulence theory for the origin of life, you must be a fundamentalist Christian nut who believes the Earth is flat. That's basically how the argument for evolution goes [emphasis in original]."
- "And I'm a girl"
- "Actually, there was one small item I think Falwell got wrong regarding his statement after 9/11 that 'the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians — who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle — the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.'First of all, I disagreed with that statement because Falwell neglected to specifically include Teddy Kennedy and "the Reverend" Barry Lynn. Second, Falwell later stressed that he blamed the terrorists most of all, but I think that clarification was unnecessary."
- "I'm a Christian first and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it."
- "What mode of transportation? Take a camel!" Later: "I was the victim of a hate crime and plan to file a complaint with the Human Rights Commission."
- In response to the furor surrounding Rush Limbaugh calling law student Sandra Fluke a "slut", Coutler wrote in her WND column: "What with liberal women constantly talking about their vaginas suddenly pretending to be offended by the word “slut,” and conservatives pretending to be as pussified as liberals about the nasty names they’ve been called, I never got an answer to the most pressing question about Sandra Fluke: Who are you again?" She also used "As if her haircut isn't birth control enough" as a sub-heading. 
- "You have recycling, global warming, safe sex, err... taught and children being baptised in it through government paid teachers; they are baptised in a religion of liberalism for 6 hours a day, 12 days a week." - Ann Coulter on BBC Newsnight with Jeremy Paxman in 2006.
 See also
- American Taliban
- Big Brother
- Deep Cover Liberal
- Pat Robertson
- FallenMorgan's Essay on Annie
- Hitler or Coulter?
- Chris Curveball & the Blonde Bomb
- Coulter on Wikipedia
- Ann Coulter supports Hillary Clinton?!
- Ann Coulter dodging a pie
- Ann Coulter Nostalgia: Behold, For *I* Am the Giant Flatulent Raccoon, Carl Zimmer
- Coulter, Ann (2003), Treason: Liberal Treachery From the Cold War to the War on Terrorism, Crown Forum, ISBN 1-4000-5030-8
- ↑ Nickname courtesy of Keith Olbermann.
- ↑ Yup!
- ↑ Coulter badmouths Paula Jones
- ↑ Coulter badmouths Anita Hill
- ↑ A satire about conspiracies real and imagined (Lynna Williams, Chicago Tribune, 2006-07-16)
- ↑ Ann Coulter defends McCarthyism. (Stupid Evil Bastard, 2003-06-20)
- ↑ Slander by Ann Coulter (2003)
- ↑ "Why Is Rick Wagoner Fired and Nancy Pelosi Still Working?" http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=31317
- ↑ "Magazine's Obama-NASCAR hoax creates April Fool's stir" http://www.usatoday.com/sports/motor/nascar/2009-04-01-obama-carmaker-hoax_N.htm
- ↑ "Coulter Falls For Fake Obama NASCAR Story That Limbaugh Said No One Would Believe" http://thinkprogress.org/2009/04/02/coulter-limbaugh-nascar/
- ↑ The following list was ripped and modified from Wikipedia
- ↑ Ann Coulter: No evidence for evolution? PZ Myers
- ↑ Ann Coulter's Flatulent Raccoon Theory, Media Matters
- ↑ http://www.theamericanview.com/index.php?id=936
- ↑ WND dumps Ann Coulter from Miami due to Homoconflict
- ↑ A Glowing Report on Radiation by Ann Coulter
- ↑ Ann Coulter: Radiation Is 'Good For You' (VIDEO)
- ↑ Collection to buy Ann's plane tickets
- ↑ Either she is a liar, totally oblivious, or has been living on Mars for the past several years. Here is a list of 52 separate segments -- a total of two hours and 20 minutes -- just between February 21 and April 21, 2011 when the birther hype story was covered (and even heavily promoted) on Fox News.
- ↑ http://www.alligator.org/pt2/051021coulter.php
- ↑ Coulter, 2003 p.1
- ↑ Ann Coulter's "Flatulent Raccoon Theory" (Robert Savillo, Media Matters for America, 2006-06-07)
- ↑ http://www.anncoulter.com/cgi-local/printer_friendly.cgi?article=183
- ↑ http://www.allbusiness.com/services/business-services-miscellaneous-business/4699951-1.html
- ↑ http://ottawa.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20100323/coulter_canada_100323/20100323/?hub=OttawaHome
- ↑ Sandra Fluke's fake heroism
- ↑ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aiHbUplz3k