Asexuality

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Sexuality

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Asexual, in the broad and literal sense means "without sexuality". More specifically it has two meanings:

Contents

[edit] Reproduction

One meaning of asexual is regarding reproduction without the exchange of gametes between two different individuals. This is a strategy used by single-celled organisms, a large number of higher plants, and even some vertebrates. This is known as "asexual reproduction" and can be an interesting topic in its own right.[1]

[edit] Sexuality

Asexual pride flag
An asexual symbol that originates from the AVEN community (Asexual Visibility and Education Network)

The other meaning of asexual refers to a particular sexual orientation that involves (at least relative) lack of sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of gender or sex. In this case, the label for the person's sexuality is "asexuality". Unlike celibacy, this not a conscious decision. As long as this lack of desire does not stem from some kind of psychological injury or abuse, it is of course as healthy as any other orientation. It is sometimes confused with the idea of "gender-neutrality" where an individual does not wish to express themselves as either male or female, as a political statement, to prevent gender stereotyping, or as an expression a non-binary or fluid gender identity. Asexuality is specifically a sexual orientation and thus deals with sexual attraction, rather than a gender issue. Additionally, asexuality has no bearing on one's sex drive. Also, just because asexuality means a lack of sexual attraction, it doesn't mean a lack of general love, nor does it mean the person is somehow "not ready" or hasn't "found the right person". Saying that to an asexual is a surefire way to offend the person.

If the Bible is to be taken literally, the asexual people, along with male homosexuals, straight women, and blind people,[2] are God's chosen people, as they're the only ones capable of following Jesus' injunction "whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." (Matthew 5:28)

An on-line forum for the asexually-oriented is the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN). The forum and several of its members are the subject of the 2011 documentary (A)sexual.

A person who is not on the asexual spectrum is called an "allosexual".

[edit] Subtypes

Proposed demisexual pride flag
  • Autosexual: A person who masturbates, but has little to no interest in sex with other people.
  • Demisexual: A person who experiences little to no interest in sex until they feel an emotional connection. (This is not same as feeling uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with someone you don't love, rather this is simply not feeling sexual attraction until after you feel emotionally connected.)
  • Gray-Ace: This is someone who is not completely asexual, in that they might feel some level of sexual interest or even engage in sex under very limited circumstances, but not enough to be considered allosexual.

[edit] Romantic orientations

[edit] Alloromantic orientations

The term "alloromantic" refers to experiencing typical romantic feelings for others but not necessarily sexual ones. Despite their lack of interest in sex, many asexuals can and do experience romantic feelings.

  • Heteroromantic: A person who is romantically attracted to a member of the opposite sex or gender. Heteroromantic asexuals seek romantic relationships for a variety of reasons, including companionship, affection, and intimacy, but they are not necessarily sexually attracted to their romantic partners. Most heterosexual people are also heteroromantic.
  • Homoromantic: A person who is romantically attracted to a member of the same sex or gender. Homoromantic asexuals seek romantic relationships for a variety of reasons, including companionship, affection, and intimacy, but they are not necessarily sexually attracted to their romantic partners. The sexual counterpart to homoromantic is homosexual. Most homosexuals are also homoromantic.
  • Biromantic: A person who is romantically attracted to two sexes or genders. Biromantic asexuals seek romantic relationships for a variety of reasons including companionship, affection, and intimacy, but they are not sexually attracted to their romantic partners. The sexual counterpart to biromantic is bisexual.
  • Panromantic: A person who is romantically attracted to others but is not limited by the other's sex or gender. Similar to biromantic. Panromantics will tend to feel that their partner's gender does little to define their relationship. Often someone identifying as biromantic will also choose to identify as panromantic. Panromantic asexuals seek romantic relationships for a variety of reasons including companionship, affection, and intimacy, but they are not sexually attracted to their romantic partners. The sexual counterpart to panromantic is pansexual.
  • Polyromantic: A person who is romantically attracted to some genders, but not all genders like a panromantic. This is not to be confused with polyamory, though it is entirely possible to be asexual and polyamorous. The sexual counterpart of this is polysexuality.
[edit] Aromantic orientations
Proposed aromantic symbol

The term aromantic refers to a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others. While this often is coupled with asexuality, one can be aromantic and be an allosexual. Bear in mind that aromanticism is just as much of a spectrum as asexuality is. Just as some asexuals experience sexual feelings in limited capacities, some aromantics experience romantic feelings in limited capacities.

  • Gray-romantic: A person with a romantic orientation that is somewhere between aromantic and romantic.
  • Aroflux: A type of aromantic whose level of romantic attraction fluctuates, being able to feel romance repulsed some days, alloromantic other days, or other identities on the aromantic spectrum.
  • Demiromantic: A type of grey-romantic who only experiences romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection beforehand. Demiromantics do not experience primary romantic attraction, but they are capable of secondary romantic attraction. The sexual counterpart to demiromantic is demisexual. Demiromantic people may also prefix a gender orientation to the label, as in "Demi-heteroromantic".
  • Akoiromantic (or lithromantic, or apromantic): This is a term to describe a person who experiences romantic love but does not want their feelings to be reciprocated. Akoiromantic people may or may not be ok with romantic relationships. Some accept reciprocated platonic love, or even romantic love, but does not find it necessary in a relationship. The term "akoiromantic" has been suggested in place of the original term "lithromantic", due to controversy of appropriativeness of lesbian culture.
  • Requiesromantic: No desire for romantic relationships due to mental or emotional exhaustion.
  • Recipromantic: A recipromantic is a person that only feels romantic attraction only if the other person feels romantic attraction to them at first.
  • Quoiromantic (or platoniromantic): This is a term to describe a person on the aromantic spectrum who does not see the lines between romance and friendship. Other definitions include: cannot define romantic attraction and therefore do not know whether they experience it, have emotions between platonic and romantic attraction, or want to be in a queerplatonic relationship.
  • Idemromantic: This is for people do not internally experience romantic and platonic attraction differently; they distinguish between romantic and platonic based on other factors.
  • Wtfromantic: This is a very loosely defined term. A wtfromantic will typically be someone on the aromantic spectrum, who does not experience romanticism in the traditional manner, but who cannot fully say they are aromantic or grey-aromantic. It is usually used by someone who knows they are not a full romantic, but has no better term for what they are. The specific meanings of the identity is up to each individual. Wtfromantics may differ from grey-aromantics in many ways. While grey-aro individuals are those who fall somewhere along a line in between romantic and aromantic, wtfromantics may not be on the line at all. Wtfromantic is generally used as a catch-all term for those who fall somewhere in the category of semiromantic or alternatively romantic, but do not better fit into any other label. Still, wtfromantic people can identify as grey-aro as well.

[edit] Other vocabulary

  • Quasiplatonic: This is a relationship which is not romantic but nonetheless involve a an intense emotional connection beyond what most people now consider normal for a friendship. People within these relationships can be of any orientation. "Queerplatonic" is another term for this, but it is controversial due to the reclamation of the word queer. Some include certain sexual relationships in this definition, others don't.

[edit] Acephobia

Acephobia is fear, hatred, or denial of asexuals. Even other minority groups, such as gays, ridicule or deny asexuals. For the most part, though, due to their lack of sexuality, they hide from the radar, although it is this same lack of awareness by public or media that leads to acephobia. Asexuals, while not as persecuted or publicized as the LGBT community, are more often marginalized.

Common arguments and insults include the following:

  • Get your hormones checked!
  • Most of those people are teenagers! Their brains are developing!
  • Most of those people are old! They are already past their prime!
  • Playing hard to get?
  • (S)he's just burnt out over the past relationships.
  • You will get lonely and depressed!
  • Asexual? But you masturbate! Isn't that inherently sexual?
  • If you want to live a lonely life with a room full of cats, no one will be stopping you.
  • Okay, I can understand asexuality for women, but not for men. Guys can't possibly be asexual.
  • What's your purpose in life?
  • You'll find the right person one day!
  • You are cold and unloving.
  • You're missing out!
  • You're just denying that you can't get laid (or go on a date).
  • It doesn't exist!

Others may envy the orientation, assuming it means the person is more intellectual or has more time to do things.

Some asexuals have reported being targeted for corrective rape due to their asexuality.

[edit] Related links

[edit] Footnotes

  1. See the Wikipedia article on asexual reproduction.
  2. And possibly castrati, to say nothing of prepubescent children. But we digress.
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