Boris Johnson

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This is his hair when it's neat.
Idiots love Johnson’s contrived, clownish TV persona, and so will vote for him even if his policies mean they’ll be living under a flyover and cooking rats over a brazier.
—An amsusingly accurate description from The Daily Mash.[1]

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel "Great Supine, Protoplasmic Invertebrate Jellies"[2] Johnson was a Conservative MP and is currently the Mayor of London. He is an old-fashioned Tory Boy™ by genetics, but boy, is he a funny one.

He does a lot of going on telly and playing the witty buffoon. He's also known as an opinion columnist; he started as an editorial writer on the Daily Telegraph was a former editor of The Spectator.

His public persona is a buffoon, but he is dangerously smart and underestimating him is foolish.

Contents

[edit] Best of Boris

Musicians: can you see what's wrong in this picture?

"Your mileage may vary" when it comes to Boris Johnson. People view him as either an absolute legend or a complete arse biscuit. Often, the reasons for either conclusion are the same:[3]

  • That hair!
  • Equating Papua New Guinea with "orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing."
  • "Yes, cannabis is dangerous, but no more than other perfectly legal drugs. It's time for a rethink, and the Tory party - the funkiest, most jiving party on Earth - is where it's happening."
  • Having his election strategist Lynton Crosby ban him from answering difficult questions.
  • Berating Liverpool for grief over the killing of Ken Bigley.
  • Confusing rugby and football. Though he did take down a German in the process.
  • Hosting an episode of Have I Got News For You, and agreeing that the Tory Party will remain "stumbling on" as they have been for the previous 200 years, as noted by Ian Hislop.
  • Having a fantastic "plummy" Old Etonian accent.
  • Tory Sex God, famous for his string of affairs and illegitimate children.
  • Being better than the police.[4]
  • Publicly mocking Mitt Romney after he suggested the 2012 Summer Olympics would fail.[5] (He also endorsed Barack Obama in 2008.)
  • Being a natural-born U.S. citizen (born in New York City, therefore he has dual-citizenship), which means that while it may be unlikely, he could, theoretically, run for President of the United States in the future, if he so chooses.

[edit] Other Johnsons

  • Boris' younger brother Jo Johnson, a Conservative MP. Is characterised as being like Boris but even smarter and yet with no sense of humour whatsoever (and agrees with said characterisation), and neat hair. Otherwise looks identical.
  • His father, Stanley, is worth a look.

[edit] See also

  • Marmite - like Boris, you love it or hate it.

[edit] Footnotes

  1. "Britain demands amusing Prime Minister" (Daily Mash)
  2. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-21572766
  3. BBC News review
  4. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8340865.stm
  5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5TUXmj8Btw
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