Fun:California

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We have seasons. We just skip the ones that suck.
—Daniel Tosh

California consists of three states on the West Coast of the United States: Southern California, Northern California, and Los Angeles (which incorporates the fictional location of "Hollywood").

Since a portion of its territory lies on the "wrong" side of the San Andreas Fault, technically part of California is on the Pacific plate.

Most of California was settled by Hispanic peoples long before the fabled East Coast settlements of Plymouth and Jamestown.

It had legalized gay marriage for a few months in 2008 until the infamous Proposition 8 struck this down; however, Jerry Brown, of "California Über Alles" fame, is right on the job, and he figures that any gay couples who did get married during that time are still married.

In August 2010, Proposition 8 was declared unconstitutional by a federal judge, but the decision was stayed pending appeals to the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, where it was struck down again, then stayed again pending appeal to the Supreme Court. The justices in their wisdom ruled that the backers of Prop 8 did not have legal standing, and on June 28 2013 same-sex marriages resumed, to general rejoicing.

Contents

[edit] California in popular culture

  • Pretty much all popular culture comes from California.

[edit] Other principal exports

[edit] Indigenous creatures

[edit] Weather

[edit] Rain

It never almost never rains in southern California. The four California seasons are Drought, Fire, Quake, and Flood.

It's really not that bad though the state hasn't had a real winter in years. This causes confusion among people who are not from California and a lot of trash talk about how their state is better because it has "real seasons". To a Californian, though, it just sounds like something akin to penis envy.

[edit] Wind

During summer and autumn (and occasionally during winter and spring), powerful winds blow in from the east. During these windstorms, sustained wind speeds of more than 60 mph (96 km/h) are common in the mountain passes. When this happens, any spark can quickly grow into a massive, seemingly unstoppable wildfire.

These windstorms occur when a strong high pressure system forms over the Four Corners area of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Utah, and a corresponding low pressure system forms over the Pacific Ocean. When the low pressure system is located south of Point Conception (west of Santa Barbara), the windstorms blow through the areas south of this point and are called "Santa Ana winds." When the low pressure system is north of Point Conception, the windstorms blow through the areas north of the point and are called "diablo winds." The most famous diablo windstorm was the Oakland Firestorm of 1991.

[edit] Customs

California is the only U.S. state that stops you at the state line, to ask whether you have any produce. They have enough fruits and nuts already and don't want any more. This practice started during the Great Depression, when going through California customs was to keep Okies and Arkies fleeing the dust bowl out of the state, but the ACLU sued and California wound up with a bunch of Okies and Arkies anyway. They had to settle on keeping fruits and nuts out of the state, but they wound up with a bunch of fruits and nuts anyway.

[edit] Common misconceptions

  • California consists entirely of beaches.
  • Earthquakes, on average, are much more terrifying and destructive than tornadoes, hurricanes, or any other sort of giant swirly formation of air and clouds.
  • All Californians are liberal socialist Democratic bleeding-heart dope-smoking homosexuals with AIDS. If you don't take San Francisco into account.
  • All of California is Los Angeles and the Bay Area.
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