Chewbacca Defense

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Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
—Johnnie Cochran being parodied on South Park

The Chewbacca Defense is any legal or propaganda strategy that seeks to overwhelm its audience with nonsensical arguments, as a way of confusing the audience and drowning out legitimate opposing arguments. It also has, intentionally or unintentionally, the effect of confusing the opponent so that they will stop arguing with you. If they are too chicken to continue the argument, the point they are trying to argue must be equally flimsy, right? Right?

In war, if the opposing side pulls back and raises the white flag, you've won. Some people like to think that this strategy also works in the art of debate. If you can get the opposing side to shut up, then you're right by default.

The sad part? It works. Not just in media, but in real life, too. In fact, most political systems are based on doing this. It is most commonly found in democratic debates, as a dictatorship would only bother if it were too weak to silence the opposition directly.

Origins[edit]

The term comes from, surprise, a South Park episode aired in 1998. It is a parody of Johnnie Cochran's famous closing argument in the O. J. Simpson trial.[1]

Cochran 
...ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!
Gerald Broflovski 
Damn it!... He's using the Chewbacca defense!
Cochran 
Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.[2]

Of course, as any Star Wars fan realizes, Chewbacca doesn't live on Endor at all. In fact, nobody lives on Endor, because Endor is the gas giant that the Forest Moon of Endor orbits. He merely visited the moon once in Return of the Jedi, making this argument not even wrong, in addition to being a non sequitur. Most likely it is a reference to the fact that the end of Return of the Jedi was supposed to take place on Kashyyyk, but then Lucas realised he could sell more teddy bears if he changed it.

Key characteristics of a Chewbacca Defense[edit]

Common (and sad) examples[edit]

The common Chewbacca Defense is based on the following misconceptions and/or fallacies:

Unfortunately, the mere existence of the Chewbacca Defense leads to an unfortunate problem in debate called Chewbacca's Dilemma: No matter what you say in an argument, no matter how intelligently and clearly you word your rebuttals and assertions, your opponent will always perceive whatever you say to be a Chewbacca Defense. In fact, a common political maneuver is to use a Chewbacca Defense in order to accuse the opponent of using a Chewbacca Defense.

Confusing, isn't it?

See also[edit]

References[edit]

  1. YouTube - Johnnie Cochran closing arguments
  2. Americans can watch the scene here. The rest of the world: go fuck yourselves.