Books of Chronicles

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For it is so written in

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Chronicles are two book of the Bible in which, after a huge shout-out to the author's dead homies, some stuff happens to some people, presumably Jewish people, because this is the Old Testament, but also whoever the Jews were hating on at the time. They get into a war with them, then some of them die, and then some of them begat some others. And in the end all hell has broken loose cause someone else won. They are divided into 1 Chronicles and 2 Chronicles.

God gets a cameo kicking David's ass for ordering a census, because accurate enumeration of citizens is an abomination unto the LORD. Seriously, he nearly destroys Jerusalem. Apparently God forgot that back in 2 Samuel he was the one who told David to do it:

"And again the anger of the LORD was kindled against Israel, and he moved David against them to say, Go, number Israel and Judah" - 2 Samuel 24:1

So Chronicles represents God's attempt to cover up this rash error. Now the story is:

"And Satan stood up against Israel, and provoked David to number Israel." - 1 Chronicles 21:1

Yeah, that's the ticket.

[edit] See also

Guide to the Jewish and Christian Scriptures
Torah: Genesis - Exodus - Leviticus - Numbers - Deuteronomy Old Testament History: Book of Joshua - Book of Judges - Ruth - Samuel (1 & 2) - Kings (1 and 2 Kings) - Chronicles - Ezra and Nehemiah - Book of Esther Old Testament Wisdom: Book of Job - Psalms - Book of Proverbs - Ecclesiastes - Song of Solomon Major Prophets: Isaiah - Book of Jeremiah - Lamentations - Book of Ezekiel - Book of Daniel Minor Prophets: Minor Prophets

Deuterocanon (Catholic and Orthodox): - Tobit - Judith - 1 Maccabees - 2 Maccabees - Book of Wisdom - Sirach - Baruch - Letter of Jeremiah Deuterocanon (Orthodox): 1 Esdras - 3 Maccabees - Prayer of Manasseh - Psalm 151 Deuterocanon (Georgian Orthodox): 4 Maccabees - 2 Esdras Ethiopian Orthodox ("narrow" canon): Jubilees - Enoch - Rest of the Words of Baruch - 1-3 Meqabyan Syriac Peshitta: 2 Baruch Psalms 152-155


The Gospels: Gospel of Matthew - Gospel of Mark - Gospel of Luke - Gospel of John Acts: Acts of the Apostles Pauline Epistles: Romans - 1 & 2 Corinthians - Galatians - Ephesians - Philippians - Colossians - First Thessalonians - Second Thessalonians - First Timothy - Second Timothy - Titus - Epistle to Philemon General Epistles: Epistle to the Hebrews - Epistle of James - First Peter - Second Peter - 1 John - 2 John - 3 John - Epistle of Jude Revelation: Book of Revelation


Selected pseudepigrapha: Gospel of Judas - Infancy Gospel of James - Gospel of Mary - Gospel of Philip - Gospel of Thomas - Nag Hammadi texts


Rational Wiki's Guide to the Protestant Bible

Guide to Bible translations

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