Conservapedia:Best of Conservapedia

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More about CP

This is the place to sort, search and review all the classic What Is Going On at CP? moments. Results are sorted by vote count and month, at the moment you can provide your own vote number cutoff, browse different months, or filter all the results by a keyword. This page relies on programs that were not implemented until August 2008, "best of" moments before this time are archived in the links below.

The day-to-day updates of CP are over at WIGO and all new contenders should be added there. Entries are automatically moved here.

Do not add entries to this article - the work is done automagically - as said above!

Archives for What is going on at CP:
- Best of Conservapedia/0706 -- Best of Conservapedia/0707 -- June 2007 -- July 2007 -- August 2007 -- September 2007 -- Best of Conservapedia/0708 -- October 2007 -- November 2007 -- December 2007 -- January 2008 -- February 2008 -- March 2008 -- April 2008 -- May 2008 -- June 2008 -- Best of Conservapedia/0709 -- Best of Conservapedia/0710 -- Best of Conservapedia/0711 -- Best of Conservapedia/0801 -- Best of Conservapedia/0802 -- Best of Conservapedia/0803 -- Best of Conservapedia/0804 -- Best of Conservapedia/0805 -- July 2008 -- August 2008 -- Best of Conservapedia/0806 -- Best of Conservapedia/0807 -- September 2008 -- October 2008 -- November 2008 -- December 2008 -- January 2009 -- February 2009 -- March 2009 -- Archive list -- April 2009 -- May 2009 -- June 2009 -- July 2009 -- August 2009 -- September 2009 -- October 2009 -- November 2009 -- December 2009 -- January 2010 -- February 2010 -- March 2010 -- April 2010 -- May 2010 -- June 2010 -- July 2010 -- August 2010 -- September 2010 -- October 2010 -- November 2010 -- December 2010 -- January 2011 -- February 2011 -- March 2011 -- April 2011 -- May 2011 -- June 2011 -- July 2011 -- August 2011 -- September 2011 -- October 2011 -- November 2011 -- December 2011 -- January 2012 -- February 2012 -- March 2012 -- April 2012 -- May 2012 -- June 2012 -- July 2012 -- August 2012 -- September 2012 -- October 2012 -- November 2012 -- December 2012 -- January 2013 -- February 2013 -- March 2013 -- April 2013 -- May 2013 -- June 2013 -- July 2013 -- August 2013 -- September 2013 -- October 2013 -- November 2013 -- December 2013 -


Note to Readers: Due to conservative deceit, some page links from this page to Conservapedia may be broken.

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375Andy refutes one of the best experimentally confirmed theories of physics with cake: "Eating a pound of cake does not cause one's energy to increase by the speed of light squared."img Somehow, every physicist of the last century missed this. UPDATE Andy: "Folks, E=mc2 seems to be based on politics rather than physics."img
361Student Rep: Sir, we have concerns of your grading...img
Andy: You're just nitpicking.img
Student Rep: You still haven't answered us. You're being unprofessional and your competency is questionable.img
Student#2: I also wish you would address the issues.img
Andy: Here's my answer: TRIM.img
Student#2 Put that back!img
Student Rep: Why are you burning the evidence, Sir? Isn't it your job to teach?img
Andy: I'll run my own course, thank you. Godspeed.img
Student Rep: Why are you such a terrible teacher, Sir?img
Student#3: Here's some more wrong answers you gave full marks, Andy...img
Andy: Thanks for your concerns, I am deeply gratef- Hah, kidding! Fuck you, TRIM.img
Student Rep: Why do you delete our concerns rather than answering them?img
Andy: TRIMimg and BLOCKimg
322User: The theory of relativity has been useful in the past.img Andy: You're clueless. Relativity hasn't done anything useful, because I say so.img Having won this debate, he proceeds to ask, Why should taxpayers be forced to pay for this scientific unproductive work?img UPDATE: HERESY!img Andy's response? La-la-la; I can't hear you!img MORE: Roger makes the mistake of bringing factsimg to a debate with Andy. EVEN MORE: Andy tries to win with a Bible reference.img Roger responds by making Andy into his bitch.img STILL MORE: Andy claims big brother is "ranting"img WHEN WILL IT END? Roger fights backimg, so Andy calls him absurd.img Roger replies yet again.img Will Andy insist on last wordism, or let it slide? AND ON WE GO! Sorry "bro" but this discussion, like relativity, yields nothing productive.img AND THE WINNER IS...ANDY!!!img
295Edit wars, CP style:
Kyle: "Is this really needed?"img
TK: "Of course!" *inserts Skype highlighting*img
Kyle: "Okay, you're the boss, just lemme remove the weird Skype stuff..."img
TK: "No!"img
Kyle: "What?"img
TK: "I am sysop, so walk away! I was trying to remove the Skype stuff someone inserted!"img
Bonus: That "Skype Australian phone number"? It's just the ISBN of Palin's book.
294The CP sysops' behind-the-scenes insanity discussions are leaked again.
290Says the guy who rewrote the Bible to get rid of all the parts that offended him.img
282Andy Schlafly, J.D., B.E., age 50: "E=mc2 has no meaning or value. Simply put, E=mc2 is liberal claptrap."img
275Are you wondering why you haven't read anything about The King's Speech winning at the Oscars?img Then it's probably because you can't read Update: this just in: Facebook crushed by "The King's Speech" ... so Sarah Palin won't be Presidentimg.
272Andyimg is going to be on the Colbert Report.
264Mike127: "The intelligence of humans is rapidly declining"? You're using that to argue for a young Earth?img
Andy: Yes, the slope of the intelligence curve is sharply negative. The YEC conclusion is clear.img
Mike127: But you can't extrapolate linearly at that slope, and if you did, you'd conclude that the Earth can't even be 6000 years old. And here's a web site showing historical SAT scores.img
Andy: It's simple logic. I'm right.img
Mike127: It's simple math. By your argument the Earth can't even be 6000 years old.img
LeonardO: By that argument, you could observe that people are getting taller, so people would have zero height 3000 years ago.img
Andy, using his favorite phrase when he has been pwned: Your objection does not withstand scrutiny. The argument about height doesn't work, because other factors are involved, like diet and medicine.img (But he doesn't recognize that there might be equivalent phenomena for intelligence.)
Mike127: So give us a graph, and do the math.img
Andy, throwing in inappropriate calculus terms: I didn't say it's linear. But it's continuous and differentiable.img
PaulHernandez, vaped by Karajou: So in 200 years our intelligence will be zero?img
Andy, now bringing in thermodynamics: You're not looking at this objectively.img
BradB: But isn't society becoming more conservative? How do you reconcile that?img
LeonardO: Show us the data.img
Sysop Jcw: I made up these graphs of y=x and y=x2. They show the triumph of conservatism.img
LeonardO: Thanks, but I still don't understand what the graphs denote.img
Sysop Jcw: Exponential. Quadratic. Conservative words. Blah blah. Hope this helps.img
BradB: Becoming more conservative while becoming less intelligent? Doesn't this bother you?img
Sysop Jcw: No, the decline in intelligence is because teachers are liberal.img
Andy: The Federalist Papers are linguistically more sophisticated than what people write today.img
JamesES: But modern people know much more about math and science.img
Andy: No, modern people don't understand math either.img (Perhaps this is because they read CP.)
Jpatt: People's brains have shrunk 10%! And obesity may be the cause!img
Mike127: You've been arguing by anecdotes. Give us the data, and we can do linear, or nonlinear, regression.img
Andy: The logic is simple and unmistakable. Read some Civil War letters.img
Mike127: Show us the math, Andy. Also, you have twice reverted my changes to the article.img
TracyS: Language changes for a lot of reasons. And there were a lot of illiterate Civil War soldiers.img
Andy: I win!img
258Andy jumps feet first into the deep end and invents Conservapedia's Law!img The implications of this insight are astounding!
255Andy: Test scores are unusually high in public schoolsimg. 20 minutes later he does some marking: 86/90img, 87/90img, 89/90img, 57/60img, 89/90img, 90/90img, and 88/90img.
253Our nation's history? Who gives a damn about that?img
252LyleT: This page is completely plagiarized and should be deleted.img JacobB: Denied.img LyleT: Ok, a compromise: I removed the plagiarized material.img JacobB: Denied.img LyleT: Ok, I REWROTE the plagiarized material.img TK: Denied.img And don't you dare expose my dishonesty!img"
249No WIGO, just the question: Vote UP for Team Rob, vote DOWN for Team Ken.
242Andyimg: The media is blaming the Norway massacre on fundamentalist Christianity without adequate evidence, perhaps for some bizarre political purpose.
Andyimg (15 minutes later): The Norway killer liked to play violent video games! Video games!img Video games! (And Facebook!)img Video games!img The "dark fantasy violent video game "World of Warcraft""img!1!!1
232Andy: "Boston Marathon bombing suspect refuses to surrender; in video games players lose points if captured or killed by police."img Yep, there's no other reason a murderer would avoid being captured or killed by police.
222Andy: Why didn't atheists cheer at the Super Bowl?img Is it because they don't like underdogs?img Why don't atheists like underdogs?img I bet Stalin didn't like underdogs.img
220Andy: One day, TV will be gone and all that will remain is Conservapediaimg
220School Prayer Fun:
Andy: We should have free speech in this nation ... for Christians tooimg
Naive user: Does that include Muslims?img
Andy: No.img
218Andy redefines the Second Law of Thermodynamicsimg.
216A huge flood is threatening people and property all along the length of the Mississippi River, but Andy is more concernedimg with how the media "downplays" the term "flood". This is despite there being 11 uses of the word in his source, ten in Reuters' story, eight in the atheistic BBC's story, etc. UPDATE: User: "Every single news article on the floods that I have seen uses the term 'flood' or some derivative of it."img Andy: You're wrong!img User: I can't tell - are you joking?img MOAR!: Andy: Blah blah blah... secularized languageimg EricAlstrom: Seriously??img
216User: What's that you say, Andy? May broke all records for number of unique viewers? How many were there?img Conservative smells a liberal and tries to confuse the enemy with his trademark brand of ... oh look a squirrel.img Other User: What da fuck?img Andy: Since the Constitution doesn't say we have to provide these statistics, we don't have to.img Karajou puts an end to the foolishness: Here's what you asked for.img It literally took me only 45 seconds to find.img Nice work. Still no number of unique viewers after 3 admins chimed in to deflect, dissemble, and bully.
213How does Andyland react to a DDoS attack and resulting worldwide 403 blocks? "Conservapedia has broken its March record for the number of unique visitors!!"img
212Selective blindness from Andy as he declaresimg that Obama's speech contains 'many self-serving references to "me", "my" and "I"'. Word counts are "Me": 2; "My": 3; "I": 10, but how about "We": 40; "Us": 7 and "American people": 6? What about the rich irony in both bitching about Obama not giving credit to Bushimg in that same speech and then taking an implicit swipe at Obama's execution of the military operation while failing to even mention his name in a post headlined in bold: Bin Laden dead.img Scumbags.
211 "For God so loved the world..." is environmentalist nonsense.img~Andrew Schlafly
210"Look everyone, more people are laughing at us!"img, says Conservative, as Wired finds his farcical joke articles wonderfully easy targets to generalize about the lunacy of the Right. UPDATE: handed this perfect opportunity to control the image of his site, The Boss instead decides to promote the item to the No.1 Main Page positionimg. Somewhere in Washington, senior Republicans facepalm.
210On the occasion of Wikipedia's 10th birthday, Conservapedia is the proud winner of Time magazine's coveted Most Amusing Alternative Wiki Award.
210Andy: "Evolutionists are deliberately ignorant because they refuse to admit that the existence of whales disproves evolution." SamRich: "Well actually, the evolutionary history of whales is pretty well understood."img Andy: "A link disputing one of the many examples of my deliberate ignorance has no place in my article about deliberate ignorance!"img
210Clueless students are wasting years in college and not improving their critical thinking and complex reasoning skillsimg...says the Harvard and Princeton alumnus who thought Obama was a Muslim because he didn't dance.
210Andy: *puts fingers in ears* LAimg LAimg LAimg Iimg can'timg hearimg youimg. UPDATE: Notimg listeningimg.
210Andy: "Did a video game cause the tragic death of a star college football player on a top-ranked team?img He was last seen, in apparent good health, playing a video game at 10:15am Sunday. About an hour later, he was found dead without any suspicious circumstances."
210Balls
209Andy: We rank number one for secularized language!img Oh, wait, I mean, like in Cuba, and such.img
209Andy abuses set notationimg to deny gays the right to marry... in a mathematical article.img
206No Andy, the question is why did a 15 year old have a gun!?img
206Andy Schlafly: assholeimg Update: Pre oversighted picture...really, what a fucking douche.
206Ah, the Olympics! The place where the best athletes in the world get to strut their stuff every 4 years. And another chance for Andy to bitch about same-sex marriage, feminism and atheism.img
205"I typically do not listen to much radio. Conservapedia provides far more substantive information that [sic] radio or television can."img Sometimes these WIGOs just write themselves.
204This just in: The Bible explains dead fishimg better than atheists can.
204First the liberals used black holes to draw people away from the Bibleimg, now they are using plate tectonics to draw people away from the flood!img
203I have never used the phrase "irony meter" before now. Andy boasts that WP's editor retention rate is only 12%.img Any guesses on what Conservapedia's editor retention rate is? UPDATE: Apparently, Conservapedia's retention rate is two thirds (if you cherry pick three specific editors who joined during a particular period of time)img
203What? A woman dares to aspire to run a restaurant? The misogynist that is Andy Schlafly is outraged!img UPDATE: Andy's not a misogynist; he sees no reason why a woman shouldn't aspire to be a gas station attendant.img UPDATE 2: Naive user: Here is a chapter from Proverbs in which a working woman is described as virtuous.img Andy: We'll see what the Conservative Bible has to say about that!img
202User: I kindly ask that my account be deleted after realizing how much scholarly pathetic satire featuring flying kittens there is on this site because I am more than thatimg Andy: Your logical criticism Parthian shot is unpersuasive and you're a liberal.img Ken: The atheist is just selfish.img Then Ed saves the best for last: ...You just insult us and refuse to help out on our popular, well-researched and comprehensive articles and I have tried so hard but those liberals don't want anyone checking their work or removing errors!img
202In Andy's universe "Britain was just fine with Hitler running over neighboring underdog countries."img Why? Because liberals.img
202Having obliterated the mean old Lamestream Media, Andy Schlafly takes on the next targetimg.
201Having earlier trumpeted his appearance on CP's mainpage,img Andy's foray into constitutional law goes 0-2, as North Dakota's Supreme Court rejects his "but... but... Washington's letter is sincere" defence. CP's mainpage remains silent on the matter.
201Methods of contraception:img non-encyclopedic. Abortion: very encyclopedicimg.
200CP's question: Outrage! How did the mentally unstable gunman get marijuana and why is nobody else talking about this?img Everyone else: Outrage! How did this mentally unstable gunman have no legal impediment to obtaining a gun?!
200Andy on World History Study Guides: "Winston Churchill - but is he noteworthy enough?"img
198Andrew Schlafly : I will now personally pray for the Oklahoma victimsimg! Andrew Schlafly, four minutes later: Doneimg! - this praying business seems to be very time-efficient, compared with donating - or actually helping...
196Andy Schlafly creates an irony singularity by claiming, in a news post beginning with the words "The lamestream media", that mainstream media is "stepping up its biased headlinesimg".
196Claims that neutrinos don't move faster than light sound like political correctness, rather than science, to Andy.img
196Balls
194Conservapedia's guide to love: Does she have a great personality? Check. Does her smile light up your world? Check. Does simply being around her make you forget about everything else in the world and give you the kind of feeling no other person ever could? Check. Does she support state regulation of greenhouse gases? Dump the bitch!img
194Balls
191NOW WITH MORE AWESOME: KSorenson: Andy, could you cite your incorrect claim?img Andy: Look beyond what you're taught.img KSorenson: Your claim's still incorrect.img Andy: I'm not sucking up to liberal professors. Therefore, my claim is correct. Look at Google. Now once you've realized I'm right, ask why your liberal professors censored this.img KSorenson: Learn to read, Andy.img Andy: Butbutbut margin of error!img KSorenson: I have the data in front of my face.img And another thing.img Andy: Protesting against me too much is unscientific. Why do you care so much?img KSorenson: Because I teach physics. You're unfit to be a teacher.img Andy: Uh ... creationists have been denied tenure!img I'm right! Relativity is a thug that discourages Bible reading!imgAndy continues: Actually, relativity is really a quasi-religionimg, and as a religion "What has it helped achieved?". UPDATE: Expelled - No intelligence allowed.img
191How come no one seems to know about this best selling video game called "Spring", which sold $500 million on the first dayimg? .. Ah, that's just Andy's humorous habit of skimming over articles and misreading them. Closure: "Thanks forimg fixing thatimg, don't know how that got in there".
191Glove slap: Terry Koeckritz tells Ken to change his username,img since being opposed to what happened at Abu Ghraib makes him like PJR rather than a conservative.
191Andy yet again denies an inconvenient fact:"Obama is not actually president"img.
189Once again the outside world takes a look into CP and is dismayed at what they seeimg. Expecting company, Andy sends Kenimg to the atticimg. Ken doesn'timg get the hintimg.
189We knew Ed Poor would come back with a vengeance after all the Netherlands stuff from AugustO a week ago. Here he is! [1]img [2]img [3]img [4]img [5]img [6]img [7]img [8]img [9]img [10]img [11]img [12]img [13]img Update Ed is reallyimg, reallyimg upsetimg with AugustOimg Update Ed is back and Ed is FUCKING FURIOUS. Reverting everything AugustO touches followed by a 3 day ban plus a snarky messageimg then Ed, Big Man! Poor deletes August's userpage.img An epic fit of impotent rage. Next: August is stripped of blocking rightsimg
188KevinO: McChrystal broke the rules.img Karajou: Which one?img. RichardTN: This one.img Karajou: Erm, doesn't count, that's not a military source.img BillDunbar: OK, how about this one?img Karajou: Erm, doesn't count, I asked KevinO, not you.img KevinO: Here it is.img Karajou: So what?!img
187A prime example of Godwin's law.img From a surprising source - RobS.
187Andy strokes his chin sagely and adds another priceless insight to the CBP: "interesting conservative connotations: Jesus tells the Apostles to cast their net on the right side of the boat, and only on the right side do they help themselves and others."img Perplexed user: "Er, I'm sure everyone here knows that the terms "right" and "left" to describe politics originated during the early French Republic, right?"img Andy's not buying it: "No, John's use of the word 'right' here is a political statement, because I think it is."img
186Ctown200:"Will somebody pleaseimg helpimg me?"img...silence..."Fine, I'll do itimg myself."img
TK:"Oh no you don't!"img
Ctown200:"I just need a little help..."img
Karajou strolls in:"If you are so damned busy why are you even here?img I know, why don't you do it my way?"img
Ctown200:"Will you help then?"img
Karajou:"Glad I could have helped!"img
Ctown200:"What, you haven't done a thing?"img
Andy: "Yeah well, it still sucks."img
TK: "Fuck off Mr. Pretendy-Helpy asshole."img "But it's sorry to see you go!"img
Karajou again:"I need to abuse the corpse after death."img
186Balls
185CP reinforces its barricades to the outside world; as Andy declares that new users must email him to request an account.img The site is growing rapidly!
185Can you believe Chris Matthews? Using the tragedy in Japan to push his own agendaimg We would NEVERimg do that. I repeat, NEVER.img
185Mr. I-have-two-Ivy-League-degrees-but-teach-children-in-a-church-basement blames liberals for "destroying the perceived value of a college degree."img
184Andy: Liberals are promoting Princess Diana conspiracy theories!img...Andy 11 hours later: Liberals are censoring Princess Diana conspiracy theories!img
184Balls
183Found a shrimp fossil on land? "Doctor" Hurlbut thinks that can only be due to the Flood.img And "Professor" Schlafly concurs with an argument by assertionimg.
182User: "No Andy, this is how it goes."img Andy: "Last wordism!"img User: "Fine; I shall say no more."img Andy: "Ha! See how evolutionists run from public debates!"img
182Americans are buying fewer books. This is a good thing, according to Andy.img
182Andy: "Roger Mason is non-notable on this list."img Benjy: "Let me explain..."img Andy: "No references. You lose."img Benjy: "Here are a few references."img Andy: "Too many references.img You lose."img Benjy: "Ok, this is why I posted them..."img Andy: "It is not in the Bible. You lose."img Update: Benjy:"OK Andy, I have jumped through all your hoops,img I am re-adding Mason."img
181Wheaton College is basically garbageimg, according to Andy; it is an an inferior schoolimg that is responsible for producing baby killersimg. But wait! One of The Leader's students chooses to matriculate at Wheaton?img This just in: Wheaton has the smartest student body around!img We have always been at war with Eastasia. UPDATE: Junior editor RobertT reverts Andy's edits. Liberal whitewashing indeed!img
181Ken: "I am strongly considering doing an open letter to Richard Dawkins at Conservapedia... ...I would have to charge him to debate me as I would do for all other peddlers of nonsense. I think I might cut him a break and only charge him $50 an hour... ...Perhaps, if he agrees to the debate, the hispanic ladies might finally believe he has machismo..."img 'Nuff said.
181The mind of a moderately functioning retarded adult in action: Global warming is a hoax, but temperatures increasing by even a single degree increase food production and good old America deserves credit for that. But maybe goddidit to go easy on old people in the winter.img
181Calling for an armed uprising against the governmentimg. Sedition: Now a conservative value. UPDATE: Jpatt clarifies: "Yes, I am calling for a military coup."img
180After being spurred on by Benp, Andy starts work on "Secularized Language".img Bring on the laughs insights!
180Nope, Andy cannot even announce the discovery of a new particle without bringing up materialism or complaining about alleged academic censorshipimg.
179 Andy:img "[The starlight problem is] a bigger problem for atheistic views, because those views cannot accommodate the explanation that some of the light in the sky is show [sic] for people on earth." UPDATE: Andyimg: "I don't find anything implausible about some distance artwork being included."
178Andyimg: "College math is not completely immune to liberal influences that have destroyed other subjects like physics."
177Balls
176Bugler says farewell and comes out as a parodist.img More: Like CPAdmin1, he is alreadyimg animg unperson.img And the door slamsimg behind him. A little more: Someone tries to show Andy the lesson he should learn from thisimg, predictably, failsimg and gets punishedimg.
175Long-time suspected parodist JacobB finally takes off the mask and leaves with several pointed comments, all of which will be ignored by Andy et al. Karajou shows major butthurtimg with some last wordism.
175Now all that's needed is a good lawyer with a track-record of success in these cases.img Andy...could you recommend anyone?
175Shorter Andy: Science? BOO! Bible? YAY!img
172It only takes a vocabulary of about 100 words to coach a soccer team.img According to Andy, that makes soccer a socialist sport.
172Andy: "I've found that once someone falls for Relativity, they almost never open a Bible again."img
172Andy: "It's a liberal fiction that E=mc2 has ever been applied in any practical way. The equation defines rest mass in terms of the speed of light - an absurdity."img
171We all know that liberals and atheists are less charitableimg than Christians and conservatives. So a user twiceimg requests that Conservapedia do something for the people affected by the Japan Earthquakeimg. Andy's reply: "This is not a blog." Meanwhile, liberal Seth Meyers on liberal Saturday Night Live ends his "Weekend Update" with a plea for help (at 38:00).
171Andy: Things were in "pretty good shape"img after the Great Flood killed everybody off.
171Balls
170No, Andy, what baffles liberals is how you continue to believe that your unscientific, cobbled list of random words, selected and massaged to suit your own narrow preconceptions and hosted on a second rate blog, actually has any meaning.img
170Greatest teenage achievements strike back!img Andy finally removes that pesky 16 year old Roger Masonimg. With typical Schlafly deceit, he sneaks this in under cover of adding a 20 year old racing driver.img Update: Rodge finds himself back in.img But for how long? 19 minutes.img And he's back in again, with a lovely best of the public edit commentimg for good measure. Grand finale: Rodge is removedimg, and the troublesome editor is banned for five years for, erm, being from the UK.img
170The Republican spending cuts in March have retroactively lowered the unemployment rate in Februaryimg
170*Sigh*. We all knew this was coming... Andy: Where's the death certificate?img
170"September 17 is Constitution Day. Think any liberals pay attention to it?" says Andy... On September 18thimg.
170Andy sinks to a new low and shamelessly uses the death of a six-year-old girl to take a swipe at liberals.img
170Andy, predictably: if there were more guns in schools, "today's tragic murders would not have happenedimg".
169Rob: Ken, please stop deleting talk page comments.
Ken: *deletes commentimg, burns evidenceimg*
Rob: Ken, stop being a dick.img
Ken: But-img
Rob: I said Back. off.img
Ken: Noimg can doimg.
168No.img
168Coming as a surprise to no one, Andy doesn't understand probability or DNA testingimg
168User: Andy, why aren't you reporting these suicides resulting from homophobic bullying?img Andy: Why not read our very own example of homophobic bullying...img
168Andy can't see why he must provide references for his bullshit, because "Would anyone ask Jesus for a reference after telling the parable of the Prodigal Son?"img
168Conservapedia Proven Right!img Yes, if you say Hugo Chavez died in Decemberimg, I suppose his actual death is proof...
167AugustO: "Andy, I'm just putting back this unanswered question, which I think you trimmed by mistake."img Andy: "No, I deliberately ran from your question,img now fuck off."img
166User: Why are the various (ahem) 'articles' on PZ Myers locked? They haven't been vandalised... Andy: Hmmm, I don't know why. Would you like to edit them? Ken: Why don't you ask PZ Myers why he's so fat!img
166The liberal media covers up earthquakes because they prove a Young Earthimg
166BREAKING NEWS: Pope duped by Castro lookalike!img Update Fake Castro story now officially upgraded to "mystery" statusimg as super-sleuth Schlafly notes some curious differences between the impostor and the real Castro. Update The mystery deepens as Andy discovers that make-up may have been used to make the lookalike appear older.img As well as using disguises to hide the lack of wrinklesimg
165It was unusually cold in one place for one week, so by Andy logic Global Warming is falseimg.
165Andy: Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh are losing fans, because they don't use Conservapediaimg
162Andy: You, like most graduate students, are clueless about the principle of falsifiability.img User: Uh, I studied it for two semesters and "not only are you not right, you're not even wrong" about it.img Andy: Open your mind and accept that I'm right.img Logic does not require so much verbosity.img User: Respectfully, Andy, you're full of crap.img Andy: Professors are liberal and closed-minded.img
162Dinner at the Schlafly's, anyone?img
162Aschlafly: ..No other explanation is as plausible, at least not to an open mind.img
162Andy touts on the front pageimg the fact that a new book discusses Conservapedia at length in the first few pages. Did he bother reading those pages?
161In Andyland Huffpo is censoring prayer and the bible,imgjust like all liberals.img In reality Huffpo pisses on 9/11 truthers. UPDATE: Andy doubles down on the irony: "one's defense of the importance of free speech does not mean that one agrees with everything said."img UPDATE 2: "We've had liberal editors and even Administrators since the beginning and I can't think of a single editor who was censored for his ideas"img That's a rather amusing thing to say on a website that includes "Liberal vandalism" and "Inserting liberal multiculturalism/world view into articles" as standard block reasons. UPDATE 3: This is tellingimg UPDATE 4: As is thisimg
161Andy: English Literature is one of the worst college majors; after all, the Virginia Tech killer was studying it!img UPDATE: "Garbage in, garbage out."img Andy elaborates in his usual measured way.
161Andy: "Oh no! Wikipedia uses unflattering pictures of conservatives!"img Conservapedia would neverimg stoopimg toimg suchimg levelsimg, right?img
161Left hand,img meet right hand,img you two need to talk.
161Andy: Let's quantify metaphysics!!img
Brought to you by the quantificator of faith, idolatry, openmindedness, mental strength, order, vulnerability to atheism, and censorability.
161Words fail.img UPDATE: Andy approves of the postimg
160"Professor" Schlafly tries to proveimg that the Great Flood happened 4,000 years ago, by quoting data from a 13,000 year-old flood.
160Andy pontificates: Don't listen to them science eggheads; just open a Bible.img Then, suddenly remembering that books are full of liberal claptrapimg and there is only one correct translation of the Bible: Uh, I mean, click on the Conservative Bible Project!img
160Schlafly science is on display againimg. You're right—the breakup of the continents is a relatively recent event, in geological time. About 200 million years ago.
160And what is the cause of this irritation? Why God, of courseimg
160Parodist: OK, OK, Andy, I see what you're trying to do with this "real jobs" list, here'simg the "fascinating conservative insight" you're after!
Andy: Winner!img
Everyone else:
WTF?img
160Rob: Please explain the details surrounding the libelous comments and made up lies about me by anonymous users which resulted in my desysopping.img Andy, being a hypocritical ass: We "respect the freedom of speech here" and if you can't handle it, speak not.img Rob: Excellent, so why was I desysopped?img Andy, being an even bigger ass: BLOCKED! Now let's see who's able to speak heathen!img UPDATE: Jcw upgrades Rob's block to indefiniteimg Back to 1 month by Iduan.
160Hurricane? What hurricane? It was all a liberal plan to ration energyimg
160Andy (on why God has a sense of humor): "atheistic political figures are known for their lack of a sense of humor, such as Attila the Hun, which suggests that the opposite of God is a lack of sense of humor."img (Andy should hope that God has a very good sense of humor.)
160Andy: "Hyuk! Hyuk! If liberals are so "open-minded," why do they fail myimg totally made-up and biased test?"img
160Andy goes all Alex Jones on us: Tim Tebow was traded "in order to oust him from his leadership position in the swing state of Colorado prior to the Presidential Election 2012."img
160Balls
159Pot / Kettle Department: Andy slams Facebook for providing "a skewed view of what's really going on."img
158Ed 'Two Meters' Poor deletes an articleimg for being too short.
158WIkipedia is so biased! It doesn't even call Jared Loughner a nihilistic atheist!img Except for the fact that it calls him a "nihilistic atheist". Meh. Facts Schmatcs. Update OK Fine, Wikipedia does mention his nihilism but the edit comment doesn't say so!img Hence Wikipedia is biased.
158Now the shootings in Norway are because of evolution.img
158Blah blah blah something about floodsimg again.
158Balls
158Andy (actual quotes): "Oh please ... is it really necessary to provide a citation that Nike and a beer company are liberal???"img "Big corporations have never been friendly to the conservative movement."img
156Andy seamlessly links losing a hockey match to homosexuality and socialismimg
156Patrick Henry didn't mention health care!img
156Penn Jillette finally responds to the taunting at CP. Spoilers: He declines the offer, on account of CP being a troll site.
156It's official! Obama is no longer a godless commie, but probably Muslimimg. Hell, he even whacked his Islamic brothers, bin Laden & Khaddafi after defeating that limpdick McCain.
156Asking for references is to be a slave to hearsay.img Andy approves.img
156Andy: "Real answers are found on Conservapedia and in the Bible rather than on television."img [Conservapedia and the Bible. Yes, he really wrote it in that order.]
155In a galaxy far far away: greasy spoonimg: "a free enterprise term for a small, cheap restaurant - which in many places is just what the public wants; reflects Jesus' Biblical scientific foreknowledge about the digestive system"
155Andy Schlafly declares that pages on religion, businesses, products, groups, artists, bands and politics are unproductive.img
155Yay! With 94% countedimg, the conservative is ahead of the filthy liberal (who spent loads of money). Oh my!!! With 99% countedimg, the conservative still has a slight edge over the filthy liberal (who spent loads of money). SILENCE the liberal is ahead after counting finishes. REALITY conservative groups spent 37% more than liberal ones. UPDATE We never said them thingsimg. MORE UPDATE It's a stunning Conservative upset!img. SILENCE AGAIN: "Oooops, I found 14,000 votes under this cushion", County Clerk says, and not for the first time.
155Andy argues that a headline about a legislator pointing a gun at a reporter is "liberally biased" by stating that the legislator pointed the gun at the reporter.img
155Andy: Loss of powerimg due to a snow storm (which disproves climate change) is a liberal plot to ration energy. Why? Because liberals.
155Who carved out the Easter Island statues? God did it, as a joke! Of course!img
155Einstein's work lies in tatters as Andy demonstrates E can't possibly equal mc2 because Hugo Chavezimg.
154The Huffington Post "will likely lose more contributors the more it censors"img...Andy speaks from experience
154Andy on Ken and Karajou: "Meritorious edits, of which (they) have tens of thousands, obviate the need for a first name and last initial."img
153Terry Koeckritz: "I made this!"img Well, TerryKake, you'd better sue these people for copyright infringement. Update: Karagoogoo questions why someone would be reading CP, and JacobB steps in to defend TK's plagiarism; "If TK said he made it, then he made it"img Update 2: Now "Fair use"img rather than "Self-made"; which is at least nice since the pictures are pixel-perfectly identical. UPDATE 3: Terry Koeckritz burns the talk pageimg for "lying." MORE: How long until thisimg and thisimg gets burned? FFS: You do not talkimg about TK's plagiarism.img MORE: Here's hoping!img
153Liberals are stunned that the conservative movie 'The King's Speech' defeated the movie promoting the liberal Facebookimg ...Sometimes these WIGOs just write themselves
153And yea, at that precise momentimg did all doubt leave the disciples that the Conservative Bible Project was anything other than a pointless blog designed to reinforce the views of its creator.
153Andy dances on yet another grave.img It's been a busy ol' weekend for him.
152Balls
152Balls
151Andy thinks that some country began as a rebellion against liberalism in Englandimg. What? What country is he talking about? Certainly not the United States of America.
150Andy uses a tragic shooting at a US military recruiting office as a disgusting (not to mention baseless) excuse to take a potshotimg at liberals. User: That's inappropriate.img Andy: Nuh uh!img And you're a liberal! Users: Srsly. Your accusationsimg don't hold much water.img Andy: Nuh uh!img You're trying to censor me!img User: But it's all over the media.img Where's the liberal silence? Troll King: Whoa! Conservatives don't have to back upimg ridiculous assertations. And then he blocksimg bothimg questioners.Update CodyH asks Andy to wait until the facts come in before bashing the liberalsimg. Andy uses his very own Quote Generatorimg and discovers a new Myth!img. CodyH counters, "Andy this is patently absurd"img but meets resistance, "Fuck you bitch, learn the TRUTH!img
150A researcher discovers a striking new axiom of Andy math: one person equals twenty people, so the March for Life reached five million people.img
150We don't normally say things like "Andy has become unhinged" or "Andy has really gone off the deep end this time", because we all know that. But you have to see this to believe it!img George Washington a saint? Of the church of Satan? This is not the work of some vandal or parodist. This is Andy himself.
150Andy continuing his anti-feminist rhetoric: Geraldine Ferraro has died. The feminist advocate for the so-called "Equal Rights Amendment" supported identical treatment of men, women, boys and girls.img Perish the thought!
150Somehow, we don't think thisimg will help the "pro-life" movement
150The Rob v. Ken showdown heats up as Ken runs to Mommy Andy and tells him that Rob is "at heart an unstable egotist" and a "useful idiot" for an "atheist website"img. What website is he talking about? Update Ken's paranoia ramps up a notch as he accuses RationalWiki of converting RobS to atheismimg
150Andy: Many stumble on the issue of whether the selection of terms is perfectly random. The selection of terms need not be random to conclude that a doubling by century intrinsically exists. Think about why.img August: Because you have invented a new kind of statistics?img
149A bunch of know-nothing scientists discovering "something" is clearly not front page newsimg. The Holy Grail of evolution you say? More like an elaborate hoaximg by those socialist Swedes! Andy Sez - "its just a scam!"img ANDY UPDATE: You don't need more than a grade school education to understand evolutionary biology, and by the way, did you know Richard Dawkins isn't a professor?img
149"It was intended that when Newspeak had been adopted once and for all and Oldspeak forgotten, a heretical thought—that is, a thought diverging from the principles of Ingsoc—should be literally unthinkableimg, at least so far as thought is dependent on words."
149Ken launches a stinging attack:"Rationalwiki lacks machismo!!"img Later... "Hahaha I showed them! They didn't even mention homosexuality...!"img(Which someone with real machismo would certainly do....)
148Fashion designer guy kills himselfimg three days after his mother dies, but it's down to him being gay. Way to exploit the depression of others to your own political ends, Andy. You tit.
148Balls
148Andy kills two birds with one stoneimg. Apparently, the Sun being rounder than previously thought counts both as a counterexample to relativityimg (because he says so) and an example of Biblical Scientific Foreknowledgeimg (yes, he is actually giving credit to the Bible for describing the Sun as round).
148Biblical political foreknowledge: The Bible predicted the Vice-Presidential debate.img
146Andy: "The healing powers of Jesusimg happened instantly, which means they traveled faster than light, disproving relativity." - Frank: "Jesus was performing a miracle. They violate realityimg pretty much by definition" - Andy: "The works done by Jesus were merely signsimg and not miracles. And signs are simply disclosuresimg of reality." - Frank: "Scholars, the Bible, your Bible and your encyclopedia disagreeimg with you." - Andy: "I see you did your research, and I wish you would stopimg doing that. Can't you make up your facts like I do?"
146The heart-felt letterimg from the mother of a victim of conservative homophobia may be a copy-and-paste job, but Karajerk's responseimg is not: "You are a hate-filled bigot who sides with everything God is against"img. Way to show some Christian Love, you sack of shit.
146Enabled women to see,img required women to see, Andy shows he isn't one to quibble over those little differences. Late update: saying the spill is 'like an epidemic' really means you think it is an epidemicimg.
146Andy makes silly Conservapedia even sillier and takes it further away from being a silly encyclopedia with his silly new article: the ever-so-silly Golden Globes,img taking place in the silly Beverly Hills.
146Andyimg (exact quote): "The colorful beauty in autumn foliage cannot be appreciated by things that cannot see, such as trees as well as most mammals. The theory of evolution cannot explain it, and indeed denies that it could exist. Yet it does."
146Balls
146Andy apparently worships a trickster deity who amuses himself by turning off the lights at the Super Bowlimg and burying King Richard III's bones under a parking lotimg.
145Shameless: 92 people are dead and Andrew Schlafly wants to use this to shoehorn in yet anotherimg "lamestream media" pun.
145USER:Conservative disagrees with Andy re: "YMCA."img Let the hilarity begin.
145It begins: The Andy-approvedimg Languages ranked by conservatismimg.
144As CP struggles to cope with a DDoS attack, Andy posts his revenge fantasy a news story on the main page.img
144A gay teen is tragically gunned down in a school shooting, and it's the schools fault, for not making him straightimg
143Behold Andrew Schlafly's latest masterpiece: schools named after Ronald Reagan that don't existimg
142Andy: "The Beatles were experts, yet no song they produced was as good or as appreciated as the one-hit wonders."img Nuff said.
142Andy: The ratings for potential Republican Presidential candidate and birther Donald Trump's The Apprentice are down; therefore liberals watch too much TV.img
141Dear Andy. I was sorry to hear that I have died yet againimg (The presidents of Brazil and Argentina say "hi" by the way!). I was relieved to see you on the Colbert Report last year, up to then, having never seen you in public I was entirely unaware you even existed! And as for the US intelligence reports, I promise to drop dead the moment they find those WMDs. Your friend, Fidel xx
141Holy. Shitimg. Andy's deep ridden misogyny on display for the world. UPDATE: Our heroine, Li'l Bethany, weighs inimg. Andy's response: That's cute, now why don't you run along and bake us some cupcakes?img UPDATE: There's a good girl.img Now, you've learned something. UPDATE: Point takenimg. But is Andy considering adding a physical component to the history test?
141Well, at least he didn't call us fat.img
141Andy Schlafly:img Early voting infringes on the right not to vote.
140 Atheists are white, unmarried, socially challenged nerdsimg. A perfect quote for the main page of an encyclopedia from a white, unmarried, socially-challenged nerd.
140Ed: "By definition,img any theory whose backers continue to defend it, no matter what counter-evidence is presented, is pseudoscience. A real scientific theory, on the other hand, is capable of being disproved."
140Karajou asks the burning question: Did Barack Obama have a hand in creating the chaos in Egypt?img No. No he didn't. You idiot. Update: Oh, dear; we must issue a retraction. It is now an encyclopaedic fact (attested by that paragon of reason, Dr. Michael Savage) that Obama did have a hand in it, in order to cede the power of the Judaeo-Christian west to Islamic tyrants.img
140Hey Schlafly, wtf is wrong with a woman having a career and not being a stay-at-home mom?img
140SharonW: "Let's make the blocking policy more democratic and transparent, and stop people from inserting pure gibberish in our project."img
Ken: "I'm against dialogue, but if we have to have it, I want my enemies excluded from that committee!"img
Ed: "I see no evil, I hear no evil, I speak no evil, I do no evil. Thus the problem doesn't exist."img
140Andy on one of his "counterexamples to evolution":img "Male and female versions of species must evolve separately, yet at the same time, and in a complementary manner. It's like lightening [sic] striking twice at the same place, at the same time of day, etc. Doesn't happen."
140...As opposed toimg Andy's policy of never giving a grade of less than 8/10
139"Jesus would never be given tenure no matter how much he walked on water."img Probably because "walking on water" isn't a subject.
138If you've ever won a Pulitzer prize you can't possibly be a conservative.img
137What's a better way to say "damsel"? When translating the Bible from English to worse English? Bimbo!img
137Karajou just doesn't understand the whole 'burden of proof' thing. "You must scour the area once known as the Kingdom of Urartu and show that Noah's ark didn't exist before you carry on with your opinion in this website."img We are still waiting for the bible-thumpers to disprove the FSM.
137And so the fun begins...Andy is on a mission to redefine the term 'landslide'img UP THE DATE: Despite the lack of overall majority, it's still a landslide.img
137Jpatt: Seems those pesky faster-than-light neutrinos are back again.img Andy: Let's make the headline about me! ME! Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Oh, and those dumb liberals...img
136Andy's head must be about to explode. That liberal socialist Tony Blair is defending religion?img And the fact that Hitchens' cancer is not in any way relevant to the discussion shows what a pathetic scumbag Schlafly is.
136We have a new uber-parodist! And his name is W<ahem>Poe. Adding fundamentalist wingnutteryimg to places we heretofore didn't believe possible. His "theobaric" explanationimg for the origin of oil is particularly charming.
136Having had enough, Rob announces here he's taking time off CPimg (and calls Karajou "a piece of shit"img "worthless little cocksucker"img ), thus making Ken and Angry Bear the winners of the Great CP Flame War of '11. Let the Reign of Manchild and Mallcop begin!
136According to Andy, the 2012 French Open Finals weren't suspended because of rain, but because of a liberal umpireimg intervening to prevent conservative Novak Djokovicimg from winning.
136Balls
135An 11-yr-old accidentally kills his 9-yr-old brother in an argument over a video game gone tragic because of an unattended shotgun in the home. Since their parents obviously cannot be criticized for leaving a gun within reach of children, it is branded "Another tragedy from unattended video game playing."img
135After Andy gives carte blanche for parodists to post stupid 'essays' his blessings to Ken's scholarly efforts, TeacherEd reveals his latest workimg. Look familiar, anyone? Update: other parodists contributors get in on the act!img But Ken, wanting to be the sole producer of such quality work, deletes it and blocks the perpetratorimg.
135'The UN will never agree to this'img...posted several hours after the UN agreed to it
135Silly liberals, taking precautions before the storm hits.img COGNITIVE DISSONANCE UPDATE: Silly liberals won't heed precautionary adviceimg
135Behold: the Schlafly-approvedimg Conservative Dictionary Projectimg. George Orwell facepalms in his grave. Update: Andy announces the birth to the world...img and still nobody's fixed the glaring spelling mistake. Just another day on CP.
135And this week on Dancing On Graves: Young athlete dies because of an undiagnosed heart disease that could have killed him pretty much at any time. But he was last seen playing video games,img so...
134TK: "I took the time to carefully upload this imageimg so it's my Own Work". Joaquín Martínez: (of all people!) Well... it's actually sourced from Wiki Commonsimg. TK: It's MINEimg, I tell you!!! ALL MINE!!! TK Hmm... you might have a pointimg. JM: Don't try to play cute with meimg.
134Andy: I bet newspapers prefer "Christian" to "Christ"img (because they can totally be used interchangeably). It's a diluted term preferred more by atheists.img Well, guess who's a secret atheist? 1img 2img3img
134Andy responds to Aurora killings by honoring Norwegian murderer Anders Breivikimg, the only person to call his victims' summer experience "indoctrination camp."
133The great redefinition quest continues: if Andy doesn't laugh at pre-Jesus comedy, it wasn't intended to be comedy at allimg UPDATE Andy sez "Satire is not humour"img
133Imagine being 12 years old and told, "you're unnatural and immoral and your god hates you"img
133You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of Andy's mind; a journey into a mysterious land where The Officeimg and The Six Million Dollar Manimg are among the Greatest Conservative TV Showsimg. That's the signpost up ahead — your next stop, the Twilight Zoneimg .
133Andy: Laugh tracks make people stupid and are liberal.img It's just "self-evident."img
133How things get done: Um, Andy, helloimg? Helloimg? HELLOimg?! Andy's reply to all this madness? Thanks for archiving!img
133The influence of Grand Theft Auto V is so insidiously evil that it is permeating backwards in time!img
133Andy: "The purported proof of Fermat's Last Theorem would be an example of liberal math.img"
132Ed there ain't no censorship on CP Poor serves up a big dose of censorshipimg after declaring that calling someone out on their quote mining constitutes liberal name-callingimg.
132 Stupid atheists are wasting time and money searching for a Grand Unified Theory of physics even though Andy's bizarre, nonsensical interpretation of an Iron Age text Genesis says that's impossibleimg. Biblical scientific foreknowledge FTW!
132Andy unwittingly citesimg a gay newspaper. UPDATE: Ooops...let's change that.img
131*cough* andrewschlaflyimg *cough*
131A certain public service is now to be financed more by those who use it and less by taxpayers. Andy, for some reason or other, pronounces this measure a "liberal gimmick from la-la land."img
131Andy on wisdom teeth: "Wisdom teeth are removed for aesthetic purposes because they make the front teeth look crooked on televisionimg
130Andy: "I don't think anyone denies that all of the inhabitable earth has been flooded."img
130 Hey Rob? We understand why you need the picture of mass graves for the Communism articleimg. But what's with the file's title?img. Rob? Oh. (NSFW)
130Yay! No more bookstores in Laredo! "Most books (other than the Bible) are liberal claptrap anyway, so this is probably good news"img
130Happy Valentine's Day good cheer to you too, Andy.img
130The latest installmentimg in Andy's continuing attempt to divide everything in existence into 'conservative' or 'liberal'.
130Koward wonders how Obama's moderate presidency will end in a mountain of skulls, just like Pol Pot.img
130Andy's firmly aboard the birther bandwagon and accuses the nasty, liberal Christian Science Monitor of playing the race card.img Oh and some non-sequitur about David Letterman.
130"Allah" is an English term distinct from "God" or "god". There is nothing to translate term "Allah" to in English; it is English.img
130Andy on the speed of light: "You(sic) comments like 'distances were measured in ... light-years, and that only makes sense if the speed is constant,' is a political statement, not a scientific one."img
130Article: MSNBC is losing viewers, probably to Current TV. Andy:img MSNBC is losing viewers to Conservapedia!
130Andy: Democrats pathetically resort to unanimous opposition to Mitt Romney to win the election.img
129Uh-oh: The Schlafly brothers are at it again!img Andy: Galaxies colliding is atheism, not science.img Roger: Are you serious?img Andy: Yes. It's not science's job to predict things.img Moare: Andy suddenly decides that information he recently called "unsupported, implausible, atheistic liberal junk" isn't so bad after allimg (as long as you don't use the word "billions").
129Why show compassion and donateimg for Oklahoma's tornado victims, when the better suggestion is to just prayimg?
128Jessica walks a dangerous path.img Update: Revertedimg by TK (duh), but will there be a nasty remark, too? Hmmm: Jessica strikes backimg with a slimmed-down version of her edit. In a shocking turn of events, TK re-adds what Jessica (and anybodyimg else) removed and then some, and backhandedly accuses her of liberalismimg. Finale Andy strips her of her rights.img
128Conservapedia examines the nature of absolute claims! User: It's a myth that atheists have built zero hospitals, here's an example.img Andy: I doubt your isolated claim and do not care to Google it,img thus there is no denying that atheists are uncharitableimg. User: OK, here are some cites.img TK: Singular examples (sic) do not disprove Andy's claimimg. Ed Poor: Even if you discover an exception, Andy's still rightimg. But of course a single counterexample disproves evolution, right Andy?img UPDATE: Terry Koeckritz: "Those who come here to argue and debate us will find their visit short" (read: fuck off).img
128Andy's new double standard: Why don't liberals criticize the Great Wall of Chinaimg?
128Andy: Assuming that radioactive decay rates have been constant since time began is illogical!img
Andy 14 minutes later: The extinction rate is implausibly high. Therefore, extrapolating backwards...img
128Andy: 'Dumpster diving', rummaging through garbage for food, is a conservative termimg. And remember, Jesus says not to wash your hands before you eatimg what you find!
128In CP's world, liberals don't support abortionimg because of "choice," but because they actually enjoy killing unborn babiesimg.
127BMcP: Why do Christians have to create alternatives to Twitter if they are not censored there?img Andy: BMcP, you must support censoring classroom prayer.img
127Andy: In restrospect, the Conservative Bible Project may have been a misguided ideaimg
127Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison were glamorized by wikipediaimg
127 If the pictures weren't in the Bible, they don't need to be on Conservapedia.img Except if they show short and/or obese atheists, of course.
127Balls
126This just in!img Americans are souring on Obama's Afghanistan war.
126I'm sure it's just a coincidence that Andy's translation of the Bibleimg matches his personal agendaimg perfectly.
126Earlier Andy: "Conservative terms, expressing conservative insights, originate at a faster rate, and with much higher quality, than liberal terms. This implies a conservative future and a correlation between conservatism and truth."img Current Andy: "Compare Civil War letters to today; it's clear people are becoming less intelligent."img
126Andyimg (exact quote): "Liberals already teach that Newtonian mechanics is fundamentally incorrect, so there is little reason to add to that (often false) criticism. In contrast, liberals insist that Relativity must be true and they punish anyone who dares claim otherwise. "
126No, Andy.img No there isn't.
126Andy gets absolutely, definitively, positively pwned by AugustO over his statement in the history class that the Congress of Vienna was a meeting of 6 nations. Which six nations did you have in mind?img After Andy's day-long Libya freeze, AugustO lays out the five major nationsimg. Finally Andy, without naming the six, says that this is "a level of trivia that can become a distraction at some point."img
126A multiple choice question which provides four out of four wrong answers?img Andy: No problem, only three answers are clearly wrongimg. Good to knowimg.
126Andy's crazy quotient goes off the charts is normal -- apparently, NFL resultsimg affect the outcome of presidential elections.
126Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. A day to celebrate the peaceful life of a man committed to Jesus. Also, it's a day for liberals to play the race card.img
125Riots and death in Libya, Egypt overthrows its own government: gossipy, overly hyped and not "real" newsimg JDW returns: "By your logic, Andy, the Deceleration of Independence was over-hypedimgAndy: "The Egyptians haven't displayed a commitment to religious, political and economic freedom"img WTF, Andy?
125Someone doesn't like rock musicimg ... or PhDsimg
125Andy: A remarkable insight! Liberalness is creeping in linearly, but conservative word growth is geometricimg. Hence, conservatism will win in the end. This simplistic graphimg cannot lie. UPDATE: User: There's a whole lot of problem with this. And what predictions does this graph make?img. Jcw: It predicts conservatism will go off to infinity and be "something quite outside our experience".img Andy: Well...uh... no one "had a problem with Al Gore trying to predict the weather".img User: @Andy Do you mean 'climate'? And yes people did. @Jcw WTF?img Andy: Here's what infinite conservatism might look like.img
125 Letters pour into the Newark Star-Ledger criticizing its smear piece about Conservapedia!img. Among the criticisms: "... [S]he took an extreme example to try to prejudice your readership against all of us. ... What I will not tolerate was her use of the inflammatory comments made by the subject of the article and his ignorant students about Islam. I don’t know a single home schooling family that views Islam this way." (emphasis added)
125...then an irony singularity was formedimg.
125With no sense of irony, Andy accuses Wikipedia's editors of displaying "self-centered belief systems and behavior."img
124 Andy's Insane Conservative Bible Projectimg worms its way up to the Digg Top Ten! Conservapedia's sudden popularity causes a temporary breakdown. UPDATE: The liberal radio talk show, The Young Turks also talks about CP's project. UPDATE:The Huffington Post and USNews join the party! UPDATE: The New Republic, Harper's Boing Boing and NYDailyNews pick up the story! And many more!
1245th Aug: liberal revisionism is responsible for the credit given to crappy Brit mathematiciansimg. 17th Aug: liberal censorship will not stop the ConservaMath Medal recognising the deserved achievementsimg of an English mathematician. Two weeks is a long time in the heady world of cutting-edge mathematical research Update, 19th: confirmed! the meritorious picks (Americans, Brits) were indeed passed over by the liberal elitesimg.
124User: Hey Andy, d'you reckon this article was written by a parodist?img Andy: Perhaps this nonsensical comment using the word "liberals"img will answer your question?
124Andy waxes delusionalimg over proposals to expand school choice in Florida: "How about public schoolers taking classes on Conservapedia?" How about the state's Blaine amendment?
124Andy's sophisticated theology compares the nature of free will and the existence of evil to sports:"If God were to destroy Satan, then that would require ending free will, and then this world ceases to be of interest. It would become akin to a sports league where one's favorite team won every game. That's no sports league at all."img
124Balls
124"Quantum mechanics disproves the theory of relativity"img
123Ken: "Gentlemen, my work is done here!"img RobS backs away slowly, keeping his hands in plain sightimg.
121Andy takes on the Catholic church, part deux: When the Church does something I don't like, it's because the liburls made the Pope do it!img UPDATE As Andy gets his assimg handedimg to himimg, TK steps in to protect Dear Leader withimg censorshipimg andimg banhammer.img GOAT: Andy redefines Papal powersimg so Andy cannot be wrong. MOAR! Andy: Burn the heretics!img Acolyte: Er, srsly?img Andy: Yes! Open your mind!img Acolyte: Thanks! Now where's my lighter?img
121Andy fails to see any differenceimg between Norway and Sweden (or between a parliament and an academy of science).
121Ken just can't stay away and Hitler makes a triumphant return to mainpageleft!img Andy: "Oh dear. Where can I hide this without offending Ken?"img
121Gentlemen. Are we absolutely certain Schlafly isn't a parodist?img
121TerryH engagesimg in a little bit of cryptozoology. DouglasA says "show a little class.img. Andy sides with the living dinosaurimg.
121Ken: The effects of the Question evolution! campaign will be devastating to evolutionary belief and atheism.img
RonLar: Really?img
Ken: Have to go! Someone is deleting my edits! I don't want to play any longer!img
RonLar: Wow, that's not nice. But wait: Isn't that someone you?img
121Finally, Andy introduces faster-than-light neutrinos as a 37th counterexample to relativity.img
121 You heard the rumblings of it before, and you wanted to learn more...and now Andy obliges! Move over, ESPN, ace sportcaster Andy is here to tell us what sports are and are not "Joke Sports"img. Bonus points if you can spot the blatant sexism.
120Muscle carsimg are conservative and give "highly efficient performance", whilst also celebrating masculine style against erosion by feminism.img
120In AndyLand cutting grants for poorer students is worthy of celebrationimg
120Ken: "I have so muchimg support! So muchimg support! Anythingimg is possible with my limitless support!"
Rob: *clears throat*img
Ken: "Oh. Um. BRB."img
120This article is lightweight and haphazard. I'm going to delete it if no one helps me fix it up. Better to have nothing, than something this lame.img --Ed Poor Talk 15:35, 16 August 2011 (EDT)
120Hell freezes over.
Andy: "You're right, and you make the point well... Britain has done remarkably well in the past week, and some of its gold medals (e.g., Andy Murray in tennis) were nothing short of spectacular. Conservatives accept the real facts, even when (in this case) it is contrary to American bravado."img
120Andy's arguments against Einstein's theory of relativity are undermined by his inability to understand basic science or even simple unit conversions.img
119Andy can't decide whether "polar coordinates" is a liberal or conservative term.....seriouslyimg.
119Andy creates his very own WIGO!img
119 Andy, in full-on douchebag mode, blames Spain's unemployment on... gay marriageimg. Makes perfect sense.
119Andy Schlafly: Some atheists actually think God exists.img Note: the term Andy is looking for is misotheism.
119According to Andy, A.M. is a "best new conservative word,"img because "the popularity of A.D. could have led to the popularity of A.M.img No word yet on nasty, liberal P.M. Update Looking for the next layer of conservative words and every one of them needs to be as special as A.Mimg...which isn't actually a word.
119Balls
118CPAdmin1 resigns in epic fashionimg. Update TK, on the other hand, resolves to continue being a pettyimg thugimg. More: TK and Andy hideimg the evidence.img And: no more user rightsimg or old user name.img More: Commentimg at your own peril!img
118Andy: Baseball player Cal Ripken's hair started to turn gray in his mid 30'simg. This is proof of a young Earth.
118Elizabeth Edwards dies and Andy dances on her graveimg
118HSMom: "Can anyone provide any references for this entirely unreferenced science article"?img DouglasA: Do not dare to ask for science references!img In fact, no-one must ever ask the question again!img
118Conservapedia discovers the location of "La-la land"!img Who's the master parodist that managed to sneak this gem in? Oh.img
118Lenski 2: Electric Boogalooimg
118Senseless tragedy at Virginia Tech?img Must be atheism!
118And with zero percent of the precincts reporting, at 10:47 AM on 11 December, 2011, Conservapedia predicts that the winner of the presidential election is Newt Gingrich.img There is even an impossible conservative wet-dream team lined up,img including Sarah Palin as Secretary of State. UPDATE: There's also a listimg of when the other candidates will pull out, and who'll they'll support.
117Conservapedia's War on Soccer continues as Andy restoresimg deletion associating the sport with (gasp) Socialism and Hollywood Values!!!!!
116New user: "BARACK OBAMA IS A MARXIST BORN IN KENYA!img" "HARRY REID IS A LYING, CHEATING SOCIALIST!img" "CHRIS MATTHEWS SUCKS OBAMA'S COCK!img" JPratt: Everything you say is Conservative!img Oy vey.
116Mere words cannot describe such stupidityimg
116Ed: "I don't recall Galileo ever claiming CONSTANT acceleration for falling bodies: rather, that their speed kept increasing with time"img
116Andy: I'm Conservapedia proven right!img CP predicted "Palin not being the Republican nominee, after seeing how Facebook lost out in the Academy Awards"img [yes, that's a quote]. CP also predicted that these Conservative Rocks will keep away tigers. Do you see any tigers? Bonus: Palin still listed at CP as potential Republican nomineeimg.
116Balls
116So we can either know where the GPS satellite is, or how fast it's moving, but not both?img
Response: That's odd. I'm going to need a reference.img
Andy: It just makes senseimg
116Andy: We've always been atimg war withimg Eurasiaimg lovedimg Mittimg Romneyimg.
116Conservapedia does not mix hearsay with citations to legitimate factual contentimg, says the man who cites dinner conversationsimg. Although, in fairness to Andy, CP:Lemon test contains no factual citations
116Andy: Obama's second inauguration is idolatry!img AugustO: But Reagan...img Andy: That's okay 'cause it's Reagan!img
115User: The radioactive decay rate of uranium-238 can't vary.img Andy: Then uranium-238 must only exist in your closed lib-burr-rul mind.img UPDATE: Addison throws down the gauntlet.img UPDATE: Andy pulls out that old blackjack, the Second Law of Thermodynamics.img MOAR: Because perpetual motion machines are impossible, radioactive decay rates can't be constant!img UPDATE: A user injects a few too many big wordsimg into the talk, and is promptly burnedimg and blockedimg by TK.
115Another counterexample to evolution: We have the perfect number of teeth to fit our mouths. Wisdom teeth, you say?img There are no wisdom teeth.img And don't mess with Andy's "autumn foliage" line!
115Conservapedia, in a nutshell: User: Facts!img Andy: Rant!img TK: Bye!img
115Well-known internet user and intellectual heavyweight Ken applies his famous brain to one of the most important questions of our time - "Does Richard Dawkins have machismo?"img Update Someone points out Ken's complete crap to Andyimg. Ken responds, explaining that any gentleman failing to grasp the nuance and humor of his essay must surely not be true conservative! Meds kick-in, and Ken's response is subsequently oversighted. Hooray! Still 0 in (diagnosed) mental health problems.
115More obvious trolling from obvious TrollKing: soccer is now a socialist sportimg because ... because you can't use your hands. It's also the only sport in the world for which mobs trash private property when their team loses - which at least makes sense compared to American sport fans trashing private property when they win. Update: When called on this insanity, Andy and TK double down. There is no comment we could make on thisimg or thisimg that would do them justice.
115Andy: "The English are notoriously bad at mathematics"img Victim: Please Sir, what about Newton?"img Andy: "Silence peon. Newton doesn't count because he's pre-modern and pre-Britain.img Oh yes, and Babbage, Alan Turing, Bertrand Russell, Roger Penrose and Andrew Wiles "don't even come close to being great mathematicians."The Rest: See the madness for yourself.img
115Andy, in his eagerness to slam public schools, is forced to speak ill of Sarah Palin.img Update: WillS removes Andy's "liberal slur".img And is... thanked?img
115JPratt (Oct): In typical liberal fashion, attendees were bussed in to the One Nation rally.img Andy (Jan): In 2009, Conservapedia sent one full bus to the March for Life rally, and in 2010 we're sending two buses!img
115Ed Poor: I want to do this, but I don't want to impact things too much, so I'll wait.img DerekE (joined CP October 2009img): Just an idea, but you can actually do it this or this way without it impacting at all, really.img Ed: How dare a NEW USER give ME advice?!?!?!?!? *reverts*img Then: What do you mean by these remarks that are over a year old? Are you some kinda pinko commie, huh????img UPDATE: Ken: I don't understand redirects either.img
115Andy is on to Obama as he tries to impose freedom of speech like a liberalimg on that bastion of conservatism known as Russia.
115Balls
115The best of the public knows better than the GOP consultants: Romney lost because of early voting!img
114Andy wastes the time of yet another expertimg.
114Oi! Smeg Ed! Which dictionary definition of "gentleman" are you using exactly?img
114Mr DeMyer, the reason DebbieT can't respond to your obfuscation is not that the "cat has gotten her tongue"img, rather that she's blocked for five years,img you cretinous, deceitful moron.
114The "Trustworthy Encyclopedia" endorsesimg "A free press for a free people". Shame the feeling isn't mutual.
114Marco Rubio doesn't fit CP's definitionimg of a natural-born citizen?img Say it ain't so! Andy: Don't say it.img
114Andy on May 27th: "Television is losing its relevancy, as people flock to Conservapedia for content. Only content-less TV shows like the Super Bowl and American Idol are holding their TV audience."img Andy today: "Record-breaking ratings for GOP debate last night: a 400% increase in viewership!"img
113Ken: "Andy likes this picture so no one is allowed to remove it.img" Four minutes later . . . Andy: "Lets replace Ken's picture with one of my own.img" Ken: "I didn't say nothing"img
113 Andy: Conservapedia users don't have insecurity issues, low self esteem, or narcissismimg...hahahahahaha
113Andy catches a case of Bieber fever.img
112Comparing the eleven starting positions in football "soccer" against each other, the US may have a better player in one of them. That makes England the underdogs! The only logical conclusion is that this is the result of rampant atheismimg. UPDATE Apparently, "soccer" isn't really a sport suited to TVimg. Tell that to the 715 million people who watched the 2006 World Cup final, Andy
112Who needs a Nobel Prize or a Fields Medal when you can be the proud recipient of the Conservapedia Prizeimg ConservaMath Medalimg?
112Remember the shit-storm when Terry Koeckritz plagiarised the UCLA article? Well, at least now there's nobody left to call him out, as he doesimg the same for the University of Nevada. UPDATE: It looks as though we hurt his sensitive feelings. He is onimg aimg rampageimg. Oh, Terry, you're so cute when you're angry! MORE: "This definition of plagiarism makes me look bad, so I'm going to delete it and write one that allows me to copy/paste articles."img
112JPatt thinks Leedsimg is a lovely town, really.
112It's pretty cold right now in an area covering a few states of the USimg, so clearly that's evidence the Earth's not warming in an overall sense.
112Andy observes events and data with an open mind: "Snowfall is correlated with cold weather, and much snowfall is a counterexample to the liberal claim of dangerous global warming.img
112Andy the book-burner educator once again celebrates bookstore closings.img
112President Obama supports SOPA, as evidenced by the fact that he says he opposes it.img Also, the Wikipedia blackout is meant to "punish users" rather than protest SOPA,img because the lib-burr-ruls at Wikipedia would never go against Obama like that.
112Andy tells usimg that SOPA is now being pushed through the Democrat-infested Senate, not the GOP-controlled House. Another lesson from the Trusworthy Encyclopedia.
112It turns out that the Colorado shooter wasn't an atheist but actually "heavily involved in his local Presbyterian church." Oops! But don't worry, they'll still find a way to blame liberals!img
111Andy: I won't discuss these allegationsimg until you insult liberals first.
111A new Andy Insight™!img
111The Rally to Restore Sanity didn't quite get its message acrossimg toimg everyone...img
111Andy: Notable lamestream media figuresimg are desperately trying to marginalize criticism of Barack Obama by not being birthers. Who are these dirty liberals? Michele Bachmann and Eric Cantor.
111Andy, just put on a sweaterimg, for God's sake!
111""Where did the ice in my freezer come from? :) Answer me that, Mr. Science!"img
111Andy: "I think some liberals promote and defend video games because of how they lead to ignorance, which results in more votes for Democrats -- similar to how liberals are just fine with millions not being able to read."img This, from the man that celebrates when libraries close.
110Hsmom politely asksimg for a cite about Biden's liquor-induced state which turns TK nasty.img You're next Hsmom. UPDATE: RJJensen plays with fireimg and TK promptly revertsimg. UPDATE Part II: GaryJ cites information that Biden doesen't drink.img TK saysimg Gary's point is invalid because he is a "deceitful Euro troll coward".img Update III: TK: "In a Grand Gesture of Unity, I'll change this unprovable fact to make it un-disprovable!"img
110Richard Dawkins says God is "unjust", "unforgiving" and a "bully". Andy: God will punish him for this insult!img
110Andy's latest what-the-fuckery: "England is not really very English: In parts of inner-London, the schoolchildren who not speak English as their first language now exceed three-quarters. In its entire nation, including all the rural areas, one-sixth of schoolchildren do no speak English as their first language."img UPDATE: ther, I fixd iTimg
110Those darn atheists have been busy. As well as 13,000 McDonalds, it seems atheists are responsible for building 300,000 churchesimg too.
110Andy: 'you'd have to be pretty stupid to make such an elementary spelling mistake'img...but even more stupid to promote said mistake in a student's homework to the status of 'model answer'?img Bonus pedantry: Never mind, Andy, that Krugman's non-hyphenated usage of a compound adjective is absolutely correct in this case.
110The wise one hath spoketh: "There were more atheists (or Bible deniers) in 1859 than there are today. Darwin, for example."img
110Only Ken could take Birtherism to new levels of stupidity: "Does Barack Obama's birth certificate declare him to be an atheist or have "no religion"? Did Obama spend close to a million dollars in legal fees to keep his birth certificate private because it declares him to be an atheist or to have no religion?"img
110Andy: Obama isn't invited to the royal wedding, probably because of his rudeness towards the Brits.img Source: Obama isn't invited to the royal wedding because of the security costs of protecting the president.
110Andy: "Awesome news for those of us who care about Family Valuesimg, folks! You can now kill teh gayz and don't have to worry about doing no time in pokey!img"
110Andy: "the Dems did OKimg" what with their President and the Senate, but "everywhere else, conservatives routed the liberals", presumably in those other 8-12 branches of government, or something.
109Wuhao1911img is the latest parodist to give up the goat
109Brian Cox just twitterdotted conservapedia. Look! Big Science is paying attention to us! Reddit then picked up the story. That is why there are so many server errors. UPDATE: PZ weighs in: "Andy Schlafly is a real boon to us Gnu Atheists who argue that religion rots your brain.".
109Forget the cat, we're talking Schrödinger'simg wine,img baby! (spoiler: it's only grape juice)
109Andy: Comparing someone to Hitler is liberal claptrap!img
109In the Good Old Days, summer was a welcome respite from Andy's anecdotal global warming counterexamples. No such luck this year.img Update: Global warming meet your matchimg ...a four-bullet listimg of snowstorms and temperatures with two references and an anecdote. Earth...you been served!
109Jpratt is outraged... OUTRAGED... that an atheist liberal on Wikipedia would delete an article entitled "Obama eats dogs".img And they have the audacity to keep the article on Romney's dog, Seamus!
109I'll see your parodyimg and raise you my insanityimg. Oh, Schlafly, you spoil us.
109Now it is really Kenservapedia: in August 2013, Ken not only was responsible for more than half of all revisions (nearly 2000 out of ca. 3,500), he created more than half of the edits which are still in the database at the end of the month (nearly 1,600 out of 2,700 still accessible edits). Kengratulations!
108This is just pathetic Andyimg. Taking advantage of a suicide of a gay wrestler to push your political agenda.
108TK removes obvious parodyimg - inserted by Aschlaflyimg. It's hard to keep trackimg today, isn't it? Update: TK no longer thinks (and never has thoughtimg) that Aschlafly's insight was silly stuff, needing citationsimg...
108LoganBertram takes on Andy's lack of substantive debateimg and deals a blow-by-blow attack on Counter Examples to Old Earth giving him the not so simple computer simulations he demandedimg, refutes carbon dating support for Young Earthimg, attacks Andy's intuitionimg, shows the moon's meant to move away from the Earthimg and that the Sun is indeed very oldimg. Wonder how long till he's welcomed? Answer is: Not longimg.
108After a new editor asks for helpimg, Ed "Bad Touch" Poor obliges in the only way he knowsimg.
107 User: I can detect liberal style using a robot!img This way, we'll be able to detect parodists! Andy: BRILLIANT!img UPDATE: User creates mathematical formula for liberalismimg.
107Free Speech: Andy: "Liberals are censors! Free speech means you can say what you want without retaliation"img. User: ORLY?img Andy: Rly!img
107Andy's knack for mathematical pedagogy on display again, as he adds to cp:Set some insightful examples of sets a bizarre anti-abortion screedimg.
107Andrew Schlafly: Public schools need more guns.img
107Uncle Ed watches Starship Troopers and is compelled to write a one-sentence pieceimg about that naughty, always-smiling Denise Richards.
106Of course the Catholic Church supports war and the death penaltyimg; who you gonna believe: me or some European with a gay-lookin' hat? UPDATE: Gauntlet thrown.img Will Andy pick it up? MOAR: Doctrine? Why, when I use a term, it means whatever I choose to to mean!img HOLY SHIT! Well, the church burned heretics, so the death penalty must be good!img As a bonus, the death penalty is likely to make you repent!!1!!1!
106Andy thinks that socialist "control, control, control" hampers the production of good athletes. Being challenged on this, he replies, Statistically speaking,img I have no idea what I'm talking about. UPDATE After getting smacked around Andy declares victory.img UPDATE 2: Andy, seeing his idea soundly falsified, grabs at straws for a save: The Soviet Union doesn't count! It was a COMMUNIST country!img UPDATE 3: Andy is back with a vengeance, and will prove his hypothesis with… Spain.img
106Mega-Genius Ken gives us his most stunning indictment of atheism yet - Proof and evidence that atheism is trueimg. Atheism on the internet has crumbled. Update: Ken follows it up with two moreimg hard-hittingimg refutations of atheism and a nod to Obama's economic policies.img
106Everybody's favourite maladjusted manchild hauls out the tumbleweed again, because there's no beautiful songs about atheism.img User: What about "Imagine", that's beautiful.img Ken: "Nuh-huh! Imagine fails to mention that atheists have been the world's biggest mass murders in history..."img User: Here's some for you.img Karajou: Argh! Facts!imgDie! Die! Die!"img
106Andy: If it wasn't for God, we would have been hit by an asteroid by now!imgI think. Even by Andy standards, it makes no sense.
105PJR throwsimg in the towel and decides to make a much-anticipated PJR Wiki. Will Andy beg him to stay, or wave goodbye to another librull?
105Being a professor of physicsimg at Princeton isn't sufficient: Andy definesimg what it meansimg to be a physicistimg.
105A userimg gets 8/12 on Andy's atheist-bible-knowledge questionnaire! Andy: "I doubt you're an atheist"img... User: "I am, but thanks."img Andy: Oh... well then, you must have learned about the Bible before you went to atheistic public school, right?img User: no, quite the opposite I'm afraid.img Andy FTW: "Yeah.... well.... atheists censor classroom prayer!img
105Andy: "All the doggies prove that the earth is young!"img. Apparently Andy imagines a time when the wild Yorkies ran free in the jungle before being tamed by man. No Andy, no...
105That's an unusual dictionary you must have, Mr Schlafly.img
105Andy: Facebook begins to pollute its pages with Wikipedia articles!img ...in April. Oh, and don't forget - unlike Conservapedia, there's no ability for users to edit the article! Especially since it's impossible to head on over to the Wikipedia entry and edit it from there, or to click on the glaring "edit" button on the Facebook page itself.
105Ken's World: Obama is giving welfare cases taxpayer-funded cellphones!img Reality: The cell phone subsidy program was created under President George W. Bush, not Obama, and isn't taxpayer funded. Bonus points for diligent scholarship: Gentleman Ken fails to even read his own source.
105Pavlov would be so proud - Jpatt:img "Oldest woman in America doesn't have a birth certificate because- Birth certificate? BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!! OBAMA!!! WHERE IS YOURS???????" (Also, somebody should tell her that she is destined to dieimg within two years.)
105Yesterday: Those dirty liberals would rather shut down the government than compromise!img Today: Look at all of these stubborn affirmative tea-partiers who refused to compromise give in!img
105Bin Laden is dead! In other news: Rob takes fourimg wholeimg editsimg to communicate a three-word statement.img Update: He takes anotherimg threeimg editsimg to communicate utter bullshit.
105The revolution is spreading! Following Karajouimg and Iduanimg breaking with the CP line on Osama bin Laden, a new user commentsimg that Andy and Ken "seem to have little regard for truth, and only want to make all Christians look good and all liberals look bad." Instead of reverting, oversighting and banning, Joaquin steps up to agreeimg! UPDATE: "Librulz are allz a bunch of fat bastards! Hic!"img, retorts Ken.
105Schlafly Statistics 101: If something has a 1% chance of happening, then it will never happen. When the odds reach 2%, it is a certaintyimg and one can make a blanket statement like "Fourth of July turns kids into Republicans,"
105A new Schlafly mystery!img
105Conservapedia loses all hope and credibility as bestiality makes the mainpage.img Well done Ken!
Update: Ken himself removesimg the bit after 5 hours and 48 minutes (making bestiality's moment of triumph 2 hours and 12 minutes shorter than the reign of the Flying Kitty).
105Another day, another conspiracy theory.img
105Ken: "Andy's so insecure, I can get away with absolutely fucking anything!"img
105Andy posts a scathing criticism of Obamaimg for saying "me" when he meant "I," right above another news itemimg identifying the recent Secret Service prostitution scandal as having taken place in "Columbia."
105The Ice Age - according to Andy, it's just another liberal myth "to cast doubt on the Flood."img
104Parodist: I am a pastor, and I will use your conservative Bible to lead my flockimg. Andy: You will have the honour to be the first of the "not unexpected" many!img
104Ed Poor: Two people fooled by a talking snake were a lot smarter than IQ tests could possibly measureimg.
104Andy digs up an inspirational storyimg from two years ago, but forgets to do the followup. What's that called again? Due dilligence?
104Chimps can't get driver's licenses so evolution didn't happen.img
103Clement tells Andy that Canada was a dominion during WWI, not a colony.img Andy calls for backup to prove Clement wrong.img TK declares Andy correct with a quote that explicitly refers to Canada as a dominion.img World History Teacher Andy: "'Dominion' is an obscure term, anyway. It's just another name for 'colony', I bet."img Update: TK back for more Schlafly defenseimg, comparing him to Harvard professors, etc. Andy returns with a protest, comparing himself to God: I may be wrong and my lectures may often be incorrect, but I have been teaching them to impressionable kids for years, which is more than YOU can say.img Trump card. Win.
103User: Half of users on Wikipedia claiming to be Christians are mocking Christianityimg.
AlexWD: You made up those statistics!img
Andy: Made up statistics? Those are my favorite kind!img
103That can't be right.img
103Remember the proposed Critical Thinking in Math course? The one which aimed to "encourage adults to keep their minds sharp through mathematics, and fend off mental decline". Professor Schlafly: 39 + 4 = 44img
103This is nice: SamHB asks Ed a questionimg regarding the sorry state of math articles, and Ed actually repliesimg within half an hour. That shows that Conservapedia still values open communication between sysops and lowly editors contributors! ...yeah,img right.img
103Deja vu? - User: What's that you say, Andy? May June broke all records for number of unique viewers? How many were there?img ...
103Balls
103Andy takes his misunderstanding of physics to a whole new level:
"uncertainty principle: an underlying chaos (uncertainty) at the atomic level in the physical world after the Fall of man, which renders a perpetual motion machine and life beyond 120 years impossible"img.
102Andy stares from the edge, into the abyss of his own insanity, and leaps over the brink.img
102Schlafly notes with prideimg that someone thanked CP for teaching her that the first Thanksgiving was to give thanks for the Constitution. Even CP's page says that that Thanksgiving was in 1619 or 1621! Uhhhh, when was the Constitution written?
102Conservapedia acknowledges two depressing facts.img
102Andy: "There are no counterexamples to the Bible!"img TK: "And there never will be!"img UPDATE: Various editors find someimg but according to Andy, they're all trivialimg. To finish, even Andy is too lie-bur-alimg for Karajou !
102User: "I have a legitimate question."img Ed: "No bitching. Show me your writing plan!"img
102Andy compares Conservapedia Conaervapedia to the Bible.img
102According to CP, Perversion=Diversityimg. According to Commissioner Bill James, a longtime supporter of a ban on gay marriage, "The public in my opinion knows the difference between perversity and diversity."
102Kowardjerk: I think you're wrong on this matter my good man,img now let us discuss this maturely and allow me to demonstrate that in this case..... BLOCKED FOREVER!img
102There's no pleasing him. You'd think a movie where a pregnant teen doesn't have an abortion would be a good thing, right? Wrong. "Juno pushes feminism and marginalizes the essential role of fatherhood."img
102Gambling is bad!img and you're a Muslim if you say so!
101Ed Poor: "I just had a brilliant idea! Let's unblockimg Bugler!"
TK: *spit-take*img
101Andy: How come no one writes papers about how relativity is a liberal conspiracy?img It must be because it is being censored.
101"Wikipedia was at one point so partisan" that "right wing people created 'Conservapedia.'" "Right wing peopleimg"??? The term is "wingnut".
101Clearly Steve Carell was snubbed for the 6th year in a row because he was involved in making one of the greatest conservative shows ever!img Lousy liberals!
101JPratt's inability to understand metaphorimg means Michelle Obama made a huge gaffe about the riding of the Underground Railroad.
100♗: Russia didn't win WWIimg Andy: Your spelling is bad - be specific!img ♗: My spelling is bad, but Russia didn't win WWIimg Andy: Debatable Semanticsimg ♗: Russia didn't win WWIimg Andy: Be more specificimg ♗: RUSSIA DIDN'T WIN WWIimg Andy: BTW, Student One, Russia didn't win WWIimg
100Andy sez "Evolution rhetoric has declined 33% in two years!img" How does he know? A google search on one meaninglessimg termimg, which is far from unique to the evolution debate in any case.
100Ireland's economy is bad because liberals have meetings there.img
1009 feared dead in irony meter factory explosion as Moonie Creationist Ed Poor tells us liberals base everything on authority and nothing on observations of realityimg.
100 Is Uncle Bad Touch even trying anymoreimg?
100Andy: Look everyone I'm not the only crazy one! Nearly a quarter of Americans continue to have doubts about whether Obama was born hereimg... Oh, I mean, before the release of his long-form birth certificate, which has since fallen to 10%. Typical Assfly.
100Ken challenges Penn to a debateimg and takes 16img 35+ revisions to do so.img Doesn't he still owe RW a debate?
100 Ken: I have opened my Talk pageimg Ken: I don't want a talk page so let's delete and protect it so I can't be accountable for my own actionsimg
100Murdering a studentimg then committing suicide is a professor value, according to Jpratt.
100The craziness just gets worse. Now Andy says "String theory is taking over university physics programs because Relativity is so obviously flawed."img. But for a very long time he was saying that all the liberal socialist atheist evolutionist professors were in love with relativity. So what happened? UPDATE: Andy's brother (and another userimg) inform him that string theory actually makes use of relativity and that theorists aren't pursuing string theory because they were persuaded by Andy's silly "counterexamples"img. Andy Five days previously, on the same page: The lack of scientific basis for Relativity leaves it defenseless against another unscientific theory: string theory. Before long it may become important to list counterexamples to string theoryimg
100The school dropout rate in Tulsa is up. Why? Atheism!img Note that the cited article says nothing of the kind.
100 Apparently the subtle difference between a galaxy and the universeimg is too much for some Conservapedians to handle. When Conservapedia was called out on it, Ed Poor thinks it's over-reactingimg to criticize someone for not grasping a very complex and subtle concept.
100Balls
100Entire content of Ed Poor's brand-new "Islam and tolerance" article. "The true faith, based on God's final revelation, must be protected from insult and abuse; other faiths, being either false or incomplete, have no right to any such protection."img
99Andy: Vaccine kills!img User: Not according to the people who actually know what they'reimg talking about. Andy: Yeah, ummm...well...Conspiracy!!!img
99More misogyny from Ed Poor: Woman Scientists? Can't be many of those.img
99Andy: Look, relativity is proven wrong, the speed of light varies!img Article: "Space is filled with tiny subatomic particles which although extremely diffuse, can theoretically slow down light just a tiny bit...That's light slowing isn't enough to impact any currently accepted theories regarding physic...The greatest change might be to textbooks, which will need to add a caveat that the speed of light is constant, only in a true vacuum-which space isn't. Update: I don't cite articles (from catholic.org) for "their liberal gloss".img
98The last survivor of the Titanic — a British-owned, British-built ship — dies, having lived in England all her life. To Jpatt, this somehow constitutes "an American story."img
98Andy gets PWNED by PNAS.img Insta-Update Andy puts his own spinimg on the facts, UPDATE and gets PWNED AGAIN!img UPDATE Move along, nothing to see hereimg IMPORTANT NOTICE Only edits that agree with Andyimg will be allowed, under threat of the (largely defensive) weapon of block.img
98Andy: "We're the number one talked about story on Talking points memo!"img but fails to link to it, Maybe because he is being roundly mocked both in the article and in the comments section TK: helps expose Andy's problemimg.
98There is nothing impossible about people rising from the deadimg Update Nothing in the Bible violates the laws of physics!img
98Ken, with his expertise in obsessive behaviour, spends over 5 hours on a Saturday night writing Conservapedia obsessive compulsive disorder.img Perhaps his next essay will be about psychological projection. UPDATE: Andy reads Ken's articleimg, thinks "WTF?" UPDATE Ken quietly reverts the Dear Leader.img
98"Give it up Liberals, 62% of E-MAILS support Walker".img Which would be great, if it wasn't for the 57% of VOTERS who are against him. Give it up, conservatives. UPDATE: Walker lied about the number of emails supporting him.
98Lenski 2.0?img
98Two for the price of one. Andy fails at translation and at English.img And a Deather bonus! Also note that this latest MPR item escalates the theory from "Obama is tricking everyone" to "the media's helping out!"
98...And the other is the Occupy Wall Street movement!img *rimshot*
98The trusworthy encyclopaedia celebrates "five years of settining liberals straight!"img
98Andy: "Gingrich most likely to win!"img
Andy, the next day: *creates article all about Gingrich's inevitable presidency*img
Andy, two weeks later: "Romney most likely to win!"img
ScottDG: "Well I guess this Gingrich article is a bit contradictory to Conservapedia's prediction then"img
Andy (exact quote): "Wikis are not blogs or books. Wikis are written by many people at different times. Not every entry should be expected to be completely consistent with every other entry."img
97Simply providing an articleimg when askedimg isn't enough. Karajou demandsimg it to be read to him.img Unsurprising update: The situation escalates,img TK joins in, erases final the commentimg and bansimg the "liberal troll". CP in a nutshell, really.
97Chicago lost because Michelle Obama LIEDimg User: Well not reallyimg Karajou: Obama communist cronies NAMBLA terrorists murder messiah Jesus Christ!img A classic conservapedian "debate" ensuesimg, which Caribouimg and Andy neatly wrap upimg. Jinxmunx proceeds to declare victoryimg over the banned user and finishes with a nice incest allusionimg.
97Andy is a multi-tasker. He can shamelessly promote Xenophobia and still have no regard for facts! The British press mistranslated the story into Liberal. The Fort Hood Shooter said "Allah is great" not "God is Great"!img. The only problem is they mean the exact same thing. Update: JM triesimg to do the right thing. Asskicking in 3... 2... 1... ta-da!img. *Update*. Andy visits JM's talk page to explain why Andy is correct, and English dictionaries and Arabic speakers are wrong (because he says so).img Still more: Arabic speaking Christians are as uncommon as healthy 95 year old smokers.img Yet more: You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.img
97Andy: We don't allow anonymous claims of expertise here.img So, stop being anonymous and, recreate your account with your real nameimg. Oh, ok, if you insistimg. It's a trap!img
97Netherlands win! But atheistic England knocked out.img So which nation do you think Conservapedia describes as "one of the least churchgoing countries in Europe"?img
97Collect all 12 33 41 52!img
Strangely missing: Obesity Card
97Andy (actual quote): "Claptrap is often used in the phrase "liberal claptrap," which describes how a liberal statement is often lacking in substance and sincerity."img (Like E=mc²img.)
97Tinfoil hat time with TerryH: "Was mass murderer James Eakin Holmes groomed to do the Midnight Movie Massacre?"img Meanwhile, Andy blames videogames and uses 'Lamestream Media' unironicallyimg.
96User: "Here is my full and epic rewriteimg of an article that consisted of only two paragraphs before. I'll add the referencesimg later." - TK: "No,img you won't!"img
96Although many still fondly remember Death on the DOS Prompt, Uncle Ed prefers Microsoft's "Mysterious and Fearsome" Windows Registryimg.
96Conservapedia: Drillimg, babyimg, drillimg! If only so we can accuse Obamaimg of destroying our coastal ecosystems! But Andy, we thought God "served the creature"? Bonus: the referenced article says the opposite of what Rob thought.
96So what if he was the principal author of the Declaration of Independenceimg...what has he done for us lately!?
96Ken blathers about "some guy by the name of Sid" to Karajou: And it only took him four editsimg. With his delightful irony TK says "... that those who cannot be successful in life criticize...."img. How many times is Obama criticized on the main page? UPDATE: Ken: "I never said a thing!"img
96Schlafly's stupidestimg insightsimg yetimg, for your Sunday reading pleasure.UPDATE "Wikipedia is biased for not agreeing with my madness"img
96Andy's nonsensical mainpageright news entry #4031: 62-year-old college fan arrested for allegedly poisoning historic trees on the campus of the national champion Auburn, which had defeated his team. "How about allocating some time to the Bible for a change?img"
96If there's one thing that Andy absolutely won't accept,img it's hearsay testimony by a terrified woman about whether a charismatic cult leader is alive or dead.
96Muphry's law as exemplified by Ken: "The only thing worse than a unmerited criticism is a unmerited criticism that is not well written.img"
96Typical flaky evolutionistsimg, always going on about how comets are hiding alien warships while good old "creation scientists" are doing objective science.
96Ed: *quotes movie review, calls it an article*img
Naive user: I think this topic deserves a proper article.img
Naive user, the next day: And let's get rid of that quote.img
Ed: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!img *kicks and screams*img
95Were we wrong? MarkGall makes a standimg and retires.img More: At this critical time, Andy senses the time has come for an inspiring speech.img
95And what is Kendoll's reaction to Dawkins calling God a dickhead? "Hey Dawkins! how 'bout them fat-ass lezbos!"img
95The Mooniefication of Conservapedia continuesimg unabated.img Also, our readers don't know none o' that thar foreign crap.img
95Karajou's orgasm registers 3.6 on the Richter scale as he defenestrates RobSimg, burns down his castleimg and then salts the earth behind him!img Update: User:C jizzes on the body.img
95A dark-skinned person must have pissed off Ed Poor today: he quotes someone saying even Jesse Jackson is scared of African Americans at nightimg, quotes another person saying people of color only succeed because of affirmative actionimg, and then immediately after redirects 'Person of color' to 'Blacks'img.
95Andy Three Weeks Ago "An employee can't say whatever he likes if his employer disapproves".img Andy Today "The LAMEstream media censors an analyst for being critical of Obama".img Maybe ESPN dosn't like what its employee said...
95"Macho Man" by The Village People is a conservative song that celebrates traditional gender roles and the virtues of exercise and healthy living.img UPDATE: Andy denies the obvious conservitude of "Macho Man"img ...for the second timeimg.
95 Foolish Liberals frequently use ad hominem to attack their opponents, in lieu of their ideas.img Fat,img suicidal,img mass murdering,img depressive,img uncharitableimg Liberals.
95And now the $20,000 question: Is User:Conservative a coward?img (spoiler, the answer is yesimg)
94Teh Bishop declaresimg checkmate. TK cunningly knocks the board overimg and leaves a nice screedimg on his Talk page. Are TK and CPalmer the same personimg? Update: TK: The game is overimg. OVERimg.
94User: Andy, what's your source for the claim that half of public school children are illiterate?img Andy: Uh ... evilutionists can't answer basic questions about the Bible, like how many Gospels are attributed to eyewitnesses.img User: But it's possible for evolutionists to read the Bible.img Andy: You'd have a fine career with tobacco companies, denying that smoking causes lung cancer.img
94Don't you know anything?!?! "Mothers milk fed ALL the animals in the ark!img How did the mother produce her milk? Well she drank the milk of another, of course!
94User: No offence Andy, but I think Lenski didn't pony up the dough because you're not a scientistimg. Andy: Lenski didn't make it available to anyone, so there!img User: Rubbish,img I read it yesterday! Andy: Bollocksimg did you. User: Here it isimg. Andy: That's notimg the real data. User: You can find the "real" data hereimg. Andy: WHERE'S THE DATAimg (repeat ad nauseam)
94Andy: Some junk was recently found in a whale's stomach. Naturally this completely proves the veracity of the Jonah myth.img
94Shorter Andy: "It's cold today, ergo climate change is a hoax."img
94Well known liberalimg Bill O'Reillyimg is covering for that shifty bastard Obamaimg
94Balls
94Whatever stupid thing you're discussing (and this one was really stupid—it was the bit about separate test for boys and girls in the American history course), if other people don't mention the Bible, their position is wrong.
93Andy:"The Holy Spirit guides me!"img
93It's bye-bye chivalry, as Andy trumpets the conservative value of woman-slapping: No "distortions by feminist ideology" in this film where "conservative values triumph over liberal ones"; A leading man slaps a woman,img although he gets "beaten up by dimwitted bystanders." (Emphasis added.) Update: Said bystanders were dimwitted beceause the weren't homoschooled!img
93Andy has a new conservative word™: life vestimg, that is, personal flotation device, which he says is "pro-life". We don't deny that they have saved many lives, but that's not the meaning of "pro-life" that one would expect to be used by a web site as obsessed over abortionimg as CP is.
93Did you know that the APA is...erm...well, we don't really know.img All Ed gave us was a period. Literally.
93Such a vivid, heartwarming description. One almost feels as if one knew the man.img
93SamHB: "Ed, why did you deleteimg when you could improve? I'm trying to work with you here!" - Ed: "I'm a senior editor and you are justimg someimg newbie.img While you prepare a Writing Plan for me, why don't you look at my excellent new articleimg to see how it's done?"
93Andrew Schlafly a strawman? That's how Discovery Institutes's news outlet evolutionnews.org sees his "misguided attack on Lenski's work". And what has Conservapedia to say about evolutionnews.org? It is accurately delivering informationimg...
93The CONSERVATIVE House cuts spending, and thus JOBS ARE CREATEDimg. Yay Conserv-wait, hold on. Turns out they were only part-time jobs.img Yeah, that's Obama's fault.
93WAAAAAGH!!!img The Kingdom is crumbling! My henchmen are turning on me!img Et tu Brute!img WAAAUGHGHHGH!
93Balls
92New user: You have a couple of errors in your lecture. Can I help?img Andy: If you think you're so smart, I dare you to take my exam! We don't like know-it-alls here, and I know you're wrong!img New user: I would do your exam if I thought you could give a good exam.img 'Nother user: You're wrong, Andy.img Andy: "I'd too see if either you could even score 50% on the World History Midterm Exam. Looks like both you won't dare display your real knowledge."img New user: Here you go. And here's some facts. And I'm still willing to help.img Aside: New user has decided to put facts into Andy's lectures...img Will there be a ban brewing? TEACAKED: Banned!img UPDATE: Block challenged!img MOAR UPDATE: I'm sorry, did you say something?img ANDEEEEE: He got second place in the exams. But he's still wrong!img Why won't the Brits just admit Andy's truth? And Prussia is still the former name of Germany. TK: unblock of JosephMacimg only six hours after TK dragged the discussion behind closed doors... and now, the former name of Germany is Waldeck.img MORRRRRREEEEEE: Slap!img BACK!!! Mr. Schlafly, sorry I got banned. But many of us Brits have told you you're wrong. Allow me to edit your lectures now.img Countdown to ban...
92The mass exodusimg of the intelligent members continues!
92The greatest Ed stub of all time.img
92The citations debate continues. TK: "Books suck, you Cognac-sipping elitists."imgEd: "Citations from books are the best, but they are hard to verify. My favorite source therefore is a book which is available online."img Karajou: "My position is that anyone and everyone is strongly encouraged to use, and cite from, books and other printed material."img and "Actually, they are easy to verify"img. TK: "See, peon, the admins you sneakily approached agree with me! Books are the best, but be sure and use MLA format."img Now let me make this policy accordingly. "Online sources are preferred."img The dumbing down of CP (and the liberal deceit of TK) continues, unabated. TK blocksimg one of the last productive contributorsimg for a week and starts to destroy his work. Ed's adviceimg: Accept the block in humility... TK burnsimg the evidence (it seems only trolls and troublemakers debate these days), luckily we have a capture of most of it.
92And lo, it came to pass; Andy finally reverts all BMcP's nonsense about the universe being more than 6000 years oldimg and the utter claptrap about celestial objects being lightyears away.img Is this the end of BMcP?
92Andy applaudsimg as Conservatives seem set to win a massive and significant victory in Britain - the land of atheism! Jimmy22: "Uh, it's kind of normal for power to alternate between Labour and the Conservatives, and the polls indicate no overall majority." Andy:"Liberal denial! The media is conspiring to downplay this unprecedented landslide!" Jimmy22: "But, look at the numbers!" Andy:"Conspiracy! Open your mind!" JacobB:"I'm sick of your talk talk talk. Have a vacationimg."
92Andy declares that protests in Ireland surrounding Tony Blair's book signing are an example of liberal censorship, British styleimg, entirely oblivious to the fact that Ireland has not been part of the UK for the best part of a century. Good thing he's not a world history teacher!img UPDATE: Andy's world history knowledge explains the confusion. Why is it British? Because egg-throwing is a uniquely British phenomenon!img
92Oh, and by the way, Terry Jones is a liberal!img
92TK: Facebook is donating $100million to bolster Newark's school.img Andy: Donations? Meh! What they need is Bibles and classroom prayer.img Bonus: Jpatt accidentally tells the truth: prayer never worksimg.
92With no sense of irony, Andy proclaims "Blogs are written by fools..."img UPDATE: Who's the more foolish: the blogging fool, or the fool who follows quotes the blogger?img
92 User: erm Hitler and Ayn Rand were not liberalimg Jpatt: yes they wereimg and since you didn't answer my question.img
92Ed sez: "Fabulous" is everything "shitty" is not "Gay" is everything "conservative" is notimg
92The death blow to Global warming lands, as Andy discovers that it snows in winterimg.
92Andy, after creating an "insightful" articleimg on a term that no one uses, bragsimg about how his article is the first result on Google a certain search engine whose name begins with "G".
92HSMom: These articles are copy/pasted from .gov websites.img Koward: And just why are you complaining, instead of fixing the stuff that I so lazily copy/pasted, bitch?img
92If you've ever criticized a Republican you can't possibly be a conservative.img
92George W Bush? Not a conservative.img
92No Ken, the reaction is more like "Aah! It's crap! It's crap! What semi-literate baboon wrote this? And why is it on the main page of a "trustworthy" encyclopaedia?"img
92Andy: Will conservapedia be proven rightimg? Looking goodimg but ... uh-oh ... something's wrong ... too close to callimg! That'll do. Oh wait, better trim thisimg. But wait... Santorum may still have more delegates!img (without citation) and anyway, the teabaggers really really like him!img
92Princeton and Harvard man Andy: only second-tier college websites accept E=mc2img
92Confirmed: Obama is a Muslimimg
91Something straight from the quote generator.img
91Andy lets everyone know the quality of his "Writing and SAT Verbal Skills" courseimg with a mangling of grammar.
91Apparently, Liberal's David Lloyd George is still in 10 Downing Street.img I wonder if Labour's Gordon Brown knows?
91Andy: CONSERVATIVES stand up to liberalsimg, forcing Minnesota to shutdown instead of bowing to their demands. Reality: Democratic governor vetoes Republican temporary spending bill that would allow parks to remain open this weekend, and the Republicans lack majority to override .
91You were thinking that the main causes of engineering failures are insufficient knowledge, ignorance or negligence? And that knowledge and hard work is needed to thwart them? Not in Andy Schlafly's software engineering 101: The devil…is responsible for accidents…and God's intelligent intervention restored itimg
91Andy: If everyone supposedly opposes global warming, then why do so many people move to Florida?img
91Andy mentions Facebook exploiting the Newtown tragedyimg withoutimg aimg hintimg ofimg ironyimg
90TK Blocks, deletes & salts Jinximg No comment necessary. It appears that this was probably down to liberal deceit and TK's unswerving devotion to RW. UPDATE: Jinx unblocks himselfimg and asksWTFimgTerry Koeckritz? who responds the only way he knows howimg WHEEL WAR!!!!!! MOAR MOAR MOAR: Jinxie takes his case to a higher courtimg Could one of the Assfly's quarterly decisions be forthcoming? MOST: Jinx is groundedimg.FINALLY Jinx gets his batimg and ballimg back.
90Jpatt makes it clear that Obama did not win the election,img but got appointed to the post due to the color of his skin.
90The Bible is correct (to 1 s.f.img).
90Ed 'Bad Touch' Poor turns up the heat with a stub on physical intimacy.img Sadly Thankfully it contains nothing more than a link to another new Uncle Ed stubimg that does nothing more than link back to the first stub.
90Andy confuses biology with linguisticsimg. Hilarity ensues.
90TK: Glenn Beck is top celebrity charity giverimg for raising $1M and atheists and liberals aren't charitable and don't build hospitalsimg; Reality: liberal Oprah Winfrey often gives $40 million to $50 million per year as liberals are usually at the top of the philanthropy lists and China has plenty of hospitals and Cuba sends more medics overseas than all the G8 countries combined.
90 Ken, sick of having his cowardice and idiocy pointed out to him on a daily basis, has decided that the 90/10 rule allows for too much talk and promotes a rule stipulating that 30% of all edits should be to articlesimg.
90In the ultimate irony, Ken feels the need to informimg othersimg on how to "create a more collaborative spirit and increase the esprit de corps."
90Sysop scrap: Karajou permabans Rob ("false accusations").img UPDATE: Andy strips Rob of his rights.img
90Straight from the Pony's assimg: Do evolutionists lack MA-CHEESE-MO? No.img
90Title of Ken's newest article: Denmark, Sweden, evolutionary belief and bestialityimg. (Comment not necessary)
90Balls
90Andy makes some vague noise about Obama claiming the Presidency while losing the popular voteimg. Something a conservative would never do.
90Andy: Storms occur when God is not observing, as predicted by quantum mechanics.img
90Schlafly: Damn those liberals for screwing up South Africa by demanding that apartheid end.img
89PJR tells all! (Linked from here.)
89Jpatt grabs photoimg from website, willfully ignoring purpose of said website
89A little truthimg comes in. How long until the oversight?
89According to Andy, the US lost to Ghana because of American feminismimg and Ghanaian prayer.img (yet apparently England lost to the US due to atheism).
89"My can-di-date is skin-ni-er than your can-di-date!" Andy takes political discussion to places it's never been before - the kindergarten playground.img
89 Misogyny laid bare, as Andy says "Surely you should concede that a woman is not among the top four contenders based on merit."img In fact, just read the whole damn section. There's too much to WIGO.img
89Andy: Anything that a human does is only foolish if other less-intelligent animals do it, too.img
89Ken: Can anyone get me a copy of this study?img Ken a few minutes later: anyone who gets me a copy of this study is an atheistimg
89Wow.img Thatimg wasimg soimg incrediblyimg predictableimg!
88User 1: I believe in gravity!img Andy:I'm not so sure...img User 2:Here's an explanation of why gravity works the way it does!img User 1: Here's another one!img Andy:Math and physics don't actually have anything to do with each otherimg. Everybody knows that God hates math and that he probably doesn't like the number 2 as much as he does 2.01img. Not to mention, I've actually been proven right, scientists just won't admit it because they're all relativity-loving liberals!img
88Joseph Farah of WorldNutDaily rips the Conservative Bible Project a new one:img "Basically, those 'conservatives' participating in this idea weren't really upset when liberals messed with the Holy Scriptures. They were upset only with how they messed with them." Andy: WHAAAAA!img HE PLAINLY MISUNDERSTAND US! [sic]
88Vandal adds "counter examples of evolution"img. Andy revertsimg and adds a Banhammerimg for good measure. Oh hey, that thing about the kidneysimg was actually a great idea.
88An almost incomprehensible Andy rant. "There is no need for 2 kidneys!", "Having two kidneys is a test from God!", "Evolution supposedly occurred in pre-obesity times!".img Huh? MORE: Evolution is to blameimg for people dying from kidney disease!
88Jinx hi Jinx! cherry-picking the Bible. "Andy, Andy, liberals say the Bible verse bumper-sticker saying "Let his days be few; and let another take his office."img is a threat to Obama. User: "Um... what about the verse following that which says that his children should be left fatherless, and his wife should become a widow?img" Jinx "Oh, we aren't referencing that verse (out loud)"img
88Andy arms his troops with hollow-point soundbitesimg for the upcoming Conservapedia media onslaught. In other news, Andy sits nervously by the phone waiting for Rupert Murdoch's purchase offer.
88Jensen on TK: "But what are TK's "orthodox" positions? Does he really have any? he never tells us--he never writes articles, he only erases the work of people who do the writing here.img UPDATE: after TK burns RJs response, RJ tries to take down TKs now-unanswered response, but TK puts it back and burns both diffs.
88Astronomy á là Aschlafly: 11-13 billion years ago Once upon a time, in a galaxy 2.51 ± 0.13 million light years far, farimg away...
88Walt Disney, Charles Schulz, Scott Adams, Karajou?!img
88Ken explores the causal relationship between increasing waistlines and national debtsimg. No news yet, alas, of which nation is the most obese and therefore faces the biggest problem.
88Vandalizing a wiki? Call the FBI! Vandalizing an expensive billboard? Divine interventionimg!
88Counterexamples to the Bible? There are none!img
88Andy is hard at work on his list of "greatest conservative movies"img, including such titles as Spiderman (it "pokes fun at liberal entertainers and journalists" and "the hero chooses abstinence"), The Island ("pro-life statement against cloning to harvest organs"), and Bruce Almighty... 'nuff said. Andy also apparently thinks that the Jim Carrey comedy flick Bruce Almighty is "more conservative" than The Passion of the Christ (which he lists as "debatable whether conservative", claiming that "the bad guys win").
88Furious that his incompetent spelling gave a red-linkimg, Andy makes sure it never happens again.img
88Rob: [14]img: Because Islam denies the divinity of Christ, their God is not the same as the "Judeo-Christian God". Nice. Pssst. Don't tell the Jews!
88Add "double entendre" and "innuendo" to the list of things Andy doesn't understand.img ("innuendo"... Village People... geddit?)
88Ken: Concerning RobS I am moving on and attending to more important matters'img', No, really. I am.img I am definitely moving on.img Oh, just one more thing.img
88Balls
88Andy: "The lamestream media demand to know why their overrated favorite, David Beckham, was not picked to be on the British Olympic soccer team."img Reality: "Pearce has named his 18-man squad, leaving out Beckham as expected."
88Ken calls out Andy: "constructing a false reality is counterproductive".img The debate has become galvanizing.img
87Unfamiliar with CP? Here's a classic exchange:
User wonders why his factual edit got reverted? Fly-by minion points out "liberal deceit!" and gives an obligatory Satan comparisonimg.
Reinforcement arrives in the form of TK's chest-thumpingimg
User tries to respond, only to be met with a block and "Godspeed, Bye"img from our boy, TK.
PJR: But...the guy's done nothing wrongimg. Quick-learning minion immediately fires back with a never-failing Hitler referenceimg
Capping it all off, ASchlafly gives his stamp of approvalimg
87ZOMG! Obama uses a teleprompter to talk to school children!img Andy: "Won't somebody please think of the children!" Of course, its just not true. Though to be fair, someone much smarter and funnier than Andy made the same mistake. UPDATE: Andy proving he can't be wrong, ever, "Liberals are trying to hide the fact that the teleprompters were there!img Even if they weren't used for the talk with the kids!" UPDATE: Andy finally makes clear what a reliable source is: Jay Leno.img UPDATE: ChrisY suggests an uncompromising but factually accurate replacement.img Andy: Leno was telling the truth, because a student could have been listening at the door when he was addressing the reporters.img Karajou: If as you say Obama's the Messiah who can magically make global warming disappear, surely he doesn't need teleprompters?img Terry Koeckritz: St. Reagan had a degree in economics.img
87AlexWD uses Andy's new projectimg to point out some uncomfortable factsimg. Andy does his classic kneejerkimg responseimg.
87TK read between the linesimg and found the word 'liberal' in this article
87Andy is oblivious to the irony on multiple levels: 'evolution is false because this 47 million year old fossil isn't a human ancestor...it's an ancestor of a lemur'img
87CP, which isn't the "National Enquirer of the Internet"img claims that Obama had an affair. Source? National Enquirer.img. Tk vapes itimg.
87Andy continues his "in the past people built cool stuffimg in religious countriesimg" series with London Tower Bridgeimg, which according to Atheist Wikipedia is often mistakenly referred to as London Bridge. Update: Rcgallup: Andy's wrongimg, PatrickP: "Don't most Englanders call it that anyway?img", Andy: I agree, and cite those nursery rhymes hymns with photos in them"img; far more reliable than the MSM! And apparently the real London Bridge is in Arizona now, but Tower Bridge is in London!img UPDATE Not wanting to be overlooked amongst this stupidity,Ken jumps about, waves his arms and shouts 'look at me!'img
87Andy, in an attempt to worm his way out of hELL, changes the wording of Matthew 19:24img.
87The home of the "affirmative action president" is outraged that an athlete should be kicked out of the Olympics for "twittering" racist comments.img
87Criticizing Tim Tebowimg gets you declared an "Overrated Sports Star"img in under fifteen minutes.
87On the eve of another perfect doublingimg...
User: "This wordimg comes from an earlier version"
Andy: "No noimg, it doesn't count if it isn't an -ismimg"
User: "Ok, here's an -ismimg"
Andy: "No noimg, we mustn't use the philosophical version"
User: "Well, here's the correct date for the non-philosophical versionimg"
Andy: "... bugger. " *AHEM*(minor-trim)img*AHEM*
86 How does Andy determine who's a dirty dirty liberal? Why, "whoever spells "honour" in the non-American way of course!"img
86Psst! Andy! Want to know the real reason gun control would have been impossible in feudal timesimg? They didn't have guns.
86User:The breast cancer article needs to be more truthfulimg. RJJensen's response: BANHAMMER! For lib-bur-al name callingimg Moments later from another user: I have proof Schlafly doesn't abide to the truth.img. DouglasA: Pffft!!! Insulting nonsense!img The other user: But my comments aren't insulting, I was just direct quoting in relating to the debate. This is blasphemy! This is censorship!img Joaquín Martínez: Censorship?img THIS IS BANHAMMER!!img
86Andy: In the UK, Australia and Canada, freedom of speech does not existimg. UPDATE: RJJ attempts to save the articleimg from absurdity, but Andy decides he's had enough factual insertions and re-insertsimg the "economical" line.
86"As Jesus told them off, the scribes and Pharisees furiously interrogated Him about everything,/ plotting and seeking to quote Him for a politically incorrect remark to use against Him." Luke 11:53-54, Andy's travesty Conservative Bible.img UPDATE: Andy: If Christ were alive today liberals and atheists would try to get him to say something politically incorrect.img Andy is no Dostoevsky.
86Ed Poor creates a category called Movies about football coaches with 11-year-old daughtersimg. What more needs to be said? UPDATE TK decides he don't need none o' that pop cultureimg, but leaves the red linkimg behind anyway.
86Andy thinks that the Conservative Bible Project competes with Facebook.img
86 This work of art is not to my tasteimg, so obviously it's the work of atheists!
86Blogger: Here's an entirely hypothetical scenario... Andy: So what if it hasn't actually happened? That won't stop me condemning them!img
86Andy: "How do liberals manage to get by avoiding conservative words?"img You know, words like "transistor" and "schlockumentary."
86The attempt to repeal "Don't Ask Don't Tell" has failed; therefore, liberals should go build hospitals.img
86CP: '10 year-old girl discoversimg 240 million year old supernova.' In other breaking news, a 10 year-old girl undermines Conservapedia's entire understanding of the universe. Update: Andy makes her discovery an official achievement by a "teenager,"img thus threatening the very fabric of space and time, or at least making TerryH's head explode, and changing the definition of 'teenager' in the process
86Andy: Here, Mr. (future President?!) Trump, let me move that goalpost for you.img UPDATE: Luckily Orly Taitz is there to keep Andy's hopes alive.img
86Andy: George Will is an idiot because he doesn't read Conservapedia.img
86After a couple of days seeing Ken insultingimg everyoneimg andimg anythingimg, Uncle Ed steps in at lastimg: No doubt the guilty party will be blocked soon.
86Ed Poor must really be feeling the butt-hurt from AugustO's repeated requests to move an articleimg. Ed dug in his heels more and more as AugustO repeated the requests, and even blocked him. Andy finally acted on the requestimg. Ed's attempt at a face-saving response? Let's get rid of allimg articlesimg aboutimg townsimg in the Netherlandsimg.
86User: Sir, why do you say off-the-wall shit?img Andy: The First Amendment protects the right to pervert the truth.img
86Balls
86Ann Coulter, Karl Rove, Sean Hannity, Sarah Palin - all filthy RINO backers,img for daring to speak up against "pro-life leader" Todd Akin.
85Andy wants a disclaimerimg for any distance over 6,000 lightyears and he's not letting goimg. BMcP makes the mistake of introducing factsimg, which just makes Andy angrierimg. ASSUMPTIONS, M*****ER! BMcP writes a reply for the agesimg: "My only assumption is that scientists don't constantly lie." Farewell BM, we hardly knew thee.
85JClarke revertsimg a wholeimg bunchimg of vandalismimg and is thanked with a five-year blockimg.
85Because as we all know, those evil atheists from Canadaimg didn't do too well, did they? UPDATE: Way to move those goalposts Andyimg
85TK: Judge who ruled that same-sex marriages can resume is a flaming gay liberalimg. Reality: Judge who overruled Proposition 8 was first nominated to the federal bench by Ronald Reagan, blocked by Democrats and gay rights groups, nominated again by George H.W. Bush, very nearly blocked by Democrats and gay rights groups a second time.
85"Daddy? Daddy? Why are there poor people?" "Because Jesus said so."img
85It's the end of an era: After more than 600 editsimg by Conservative, somebody elseimg actually makes an edit to the Evolution article!
85The slow slide into insanity continues: Andy asks the question "Why didn't "over-the-hill buffoon" Bruce Springsteen sing "Born in the USA" after Obama became President?"img Just maybe it's because - as you said Andyimg - it's about the Vietnam War.
85After editing a page about peanut butter on aSK, Ken gets an ideaimg......wait for itimg.....BANG!img UPDATE: And.....It makes the front page!img And then disappears after a half dozenimg edits, in favor of the Baby Jesus, perhaps?
85Conservative Riddle: Q: How does Andy make a page on birthright citizenship "much improved"? A: By claiming it doesn't existimg
85Andy: Hugo Chavez, having wrecked the health care system in Venezuela with his dictatorial communist policies, seeks health care abroadimgin a communist dictatorship.
85Ken: "The UK has one of the highest self harm rates in Europeimg at 0.4% - due to atheism of course." Reality: The US has a self harm rate of 4%, which is 10 times higher than the UK. By Ken "logic", this proves that Christianity causes people to harm themselves.
85Arguing, Kenny-style.img
85Balls
85Now, we're not ones to go around spreading rumorsimg, really we're just not the gossiping kind
85Andy: Conservapedia is right, even when it isn'timg.
85Andy's latest conservative insight - Obama's a Muslim because he's not seen dancing much, and Muslims disfavor dancingimg. Unlike this devout Christian. UPDATE:BEST PARODY.img EVER!!!!! Update 2: More parodyimg. & More!img and even MORE!img
84Andy at his finestimg: "You miss the point. No Christian or atheist would likely use the phrase "my Muslim faith" in any context". Whoops, guess Andy is a secret Muslim after all!
84Andy redefines Conservatives around the world to suit himself.img
84Andy: You can't falsify the theory of general relativity.img MarkGall: Uh, Andy, the whole concept of falsifiability owes its existence to Karl Popper contrasting Einstein's falsifiable theory with unfalsifiable ones.img Andy: Popper's personal views are irrelevant. Physics students resist logic.img
84DWiggins: Andy, your anecdotal global warming evidence is bunk.img Andy: Global warming is an unfalsifiable lib-burr-rul theory and is not science.img
DWiggins: I'm just saying you're giving bad evidence.img Andy: Be more logical. Reading the Bible would help.img
DWiggins: This is about climatology, not theology.img BMcP: DWiggins isn't arguing for global warming.img Andy, starting to splutter: You're going against logic now. You have free will to be illogical.img
DWiggins: Learn some statistics, Andy.img Andy winds up the psychological projection knob: DWiggins, you're babbling nonsense in defense of proven fraudsters who irrationally refuse to read the Bible.img
GRAND FINALE: User is "Politely removed"img from site.
84Andy: "Galileo's contributions were not substantial."img UPDATE: User: Surely you're joking!!!img Andy (whose insights into physics cause merriment to scientists everywhere): Sure I'm seriousimg, now go away.img
84Ed Poor objects to pleas for money for Haitian earthquake reliefimg, comparing them to the Oil For Food Scandal. (And creates CP's page on the scandalimg for good measure.) He then goes on to argue you should give to churches insteadimg.
84Karajoke's at it again: food safety regulation is an appalling government intrusion into people's bodiesimg and the 'Right to Buy Whatever I Want', yet it is "unfortunateimg" that the government cannot force a husband and wife to ditch condoms in their bedroom because there is no 'Right to Privacy'. Contradiction? Na, never.
84Andy: Finally church gets what it's been needing for a long time, GUNS!!!img
84Why do liberals crave attention? Because they are incapable of doing anything meaningful!img Update: Projection much?img
84Andy's delusions of grandeur reach new heights.img
84Impotent Rage Department: With no proles left to abuse on CP, TK stokes an old grudge against the only sysop in recent history to stand up to his cretinism and bullying by replacing his signature for hersimg on the "welcome" message she left for some random user more than 21 months ago.
84Andy: I believe these absurd and useless college majors exist, because they sound absurd and useless.img
84In more Proof that Creationists have no idea what they're even arguing against, Ken deletes references to 450 million year old Starfish fossilsimg While retaining mention of them being related to 2 different Classes of Animalimg
83Andy confirms that "no Conservapedia contributors have mental problems!"img
83Ed:img There were arguably more people at the 9/12 rallies than there were protesting the Iraq war. User:img "It's beyond arguable; it's a fact." Ed:img Don't get terse with me. You sound like a liberal. You're on probation. User:img But I was agreeing with you! Ed: Blockedimg andimg revertedimg - "Insistence on last-wordism".
83Karajou, what the hellimg?
83On the repeat of the Schlafly interview episode of The Colbert Report, Professor Schlafly instructs his class: "Stephen Colbert may have liked the high quality of this particular show and chose to replay it for that reason, or perhaps he selected it again for its educational value."img
83User: The "Liberal denials about history" article has got to be a joke.img Andy: You're in absurd denial. Invention is an American thing and Americans work harder than anyone else.img User: What about the Malaysian work camps where you work 12 hours a day and barely get anything to eat?img Andy: You have free will to deny basic facts. I'll bet you spend more time trying to reject the Bible than reading it.img User: I'm a member of the Plymouth Brethren, actually. Rejecting the Bible isn't in my modus operandi.img Andy: um, TL;DR, um...img
83DMorris: Andy, here's what my school is like.img JacobB: High word-to-substance ratio!img Andy: DMorris, your public school does not fit my preconceptions. Ergo, you're a liberal. Do I have to run checkuser on you?img DMorris: Here's the IPs I edited from, and why I'm not a liberal.img Then, to top it off, he adds a summary that Andy might able to read through if he tries really hard.img UPDATE "I'm in charge here..."img The asshole has spoken.
83 Another fantastic example of Conservapedia having a hissy fit the best Conservative language. To be Stupakedimg is to be hurt by abortion betrayals. Subtle. (Until last week, "Stupaked" was a liberal word.)
83One getsimg theimg impressionimg Andyimg doesn'timg likeimg Elenaimg Kaganimg
83Ken subtly interrogates an editorimg
83Andy: Just because I disparaged someone's body of work based solely on their country of origin,img that doesn't make me a racist!img
83What kind of people would stoop so low as to attack another person's religious beliefs!?img Oh...img
83Well, it was only a matter of timeimg
83Apparitions of Jesus? It isn't a miracle, merely Quantum Tunneling.img
83And the new front runner in the race for the coveted conservative of the year award is: Andy Aschlafly (sic)!img Go Andy!
83Andy once again displays his wanton ignorance by not realising that the date of a word in a dictionary is the oldest known written citation not the year a word was 'invented'.img
83That's right, Terry. Liberals don't like barbecue or fireworks.img
82Really? You are going to criticise Wikipedia for losing editors, Andy?img Are you really?img
82It's official. Conservapedia has branched off from our reality into a parallel universe.img Meanwhile, back in our world...
82Andy updates the main page with more hard dataimg. Update: Andy makes it... er... less conciseimg. Plot Twist: "Dad, we need to talk..."img. Update: GO TO YOUR ROOMimg!
82Ed Poor proves the absenceimg of censorshipimg at Conservapedia by creating a newimg exampleimg.
82Juan Williams makes insensitive comments about Muslims and he loses his job for "Freedom of Speechimg"; Helen Thomas makes insensitive comments about Israelis and she loses her job for "ignorance and racismimg"
82Psychological projection or projection bias is a psychological defense mechanism where a person subconsciously denies his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, usually to other peopleimg.
82hELL. Freezes. Over.img UPDATE: an hour later, Andy blocksimg the guy.
82Apparently atheists never make good football players because they are so cowardly and effeminateimg, instead they have to settle for being the leaders in math, science, philosophy, technology, medicine and pretty much any profession that requires a brain... what a bunch of losers.
82Joaquín Martínez: "Happy 4th of July!"img
Andy: "Those with an anti-Christian and anti-American agenda, such as liberals, homosexuals, atheists, evolutionists and leftists, have attempted to remove the Christian origins of our languageimg by replacing common phrases such as 'Independence Day' with secularized versionsimg such as '4th of July'! Errr... I mean... thanks,img JM!"
82Andy ridicules a conspiracy theory about Hugo Chavez's death, then proceeds to promote his conspiracy theory about Hugo Chavez's death.img
82You know you block too much when Karajou tells you to stop.img
81Andy's final exam in American Historyimg is up, and it doesn't disappoint in stereotyping! Question The Last - please fill in the blank: Boys like sports and girls like easy questions. Correct! These stereotypes are growing rapidly! MOAR: When askedimg about gender segregation, Andyimg actsimg likeimg animg assimg. Oh, and TK has to kiss some assimg while he can. Update CiaraTo makes what is probably her lastimg post on CP.
81Is it doublethink or just plain idiocy? Jessica: "Members of vandal sites will be blocked."img - Jimmy: "But... you're a member there, too, so you should also be blocked!"img (*blocked*img) - Jessica: "Nuh-uh! Only those who vandalize and brag will be blocked."img - John: "So what about the guy who made no edits here and didn't brag there?"img (*blocked*img) - Jessica: "He's a member of a vandal site! Guilty by association, duh!"img
81MikeSalterimg goes out in a blaze of glory. MOAR: He's not just a vandal, he's a traitor!img
81Inside The Schlafly Mind, Part 7 - Andy spots a suggested news itemimg and decides to add it without "editorializing"img. Andy thinks, "Hmmm....editorializing....I just used used that word, and I'm a conservative, so that means it must be a conservative word!img I've almost completed another geometric fit! Woot!" UPDATE: "I am an electrical engineer too, so the words for electronic components have to be conservativeimg as well!"
81Dance, monkey, dance! "Mountain Blue" again asks RW users to contact him with details on accounts on CP. RW user provides an IP of an "open relay." TKimg blocks IP range. Another poor user will be disappointed to know their server is banned from CP now.
81And it's official: Canada: 3, U.S.A.: 2, Andy: zero. It is also socialist, liberal, gay-marriage-tolerant Canada's 14th gold medal of the Games, setting a Winter Olympics record. Let the Spinolympics begin.
81In Andy's world "served the creature" = "served the environment"img (not to mention gratuitous references to homosexuality and atheism). Translation is one thing; pulling things out of your ass is quite another.
81Now out in paperback. The Does X have Machismo? Seriesimg. Available at all good stockists. Now. Olé! Olé! Olé!
81You've got to be shitting meimg - Ed Poor decides to highlight a wonderful ID-backer, and removes that pesky little nugget of information that this "scientist" questions the link between HIV and AIDS.
81Andy, January, reverting parody:img "[The notion that the Banach-Tarski paradox] confirms the multiplication of the loaves is over-the-top, though funny." Andy, June, inserting parody:img "this paradox -- or insight -- bears a striking resemblance to the multiplication of the loaves, which is the only miracle described in all four Gospels." UPDATE Jacob does what he canimg.
81RonLar: statistics, pictures, analysis!img Andy: "Quantity is no substitute for quality! You didn't address the oil wells!"img UPDATE TK says "Nobody likes a clever dickimg"
81You might be an Anglophileimg if...
81Andy claims yet another nonpartisan phrase for conservatism.img
81Damned if you do... Resident seditionist Jpatt thinks that Obama's support of the anti-Gaddafi rebels is part of his Muslim agenda.img God knows what he'd think if Obama supported Gaddafi instead.
81Kaboom! Rob blocks Ken for 5 years!img
81Saint Timothy of Colorado New York's conservatism is so powerful that he is influencing the owner of the New York Jetsimg to do something he was doing already, anyway.
80Liberals! Academic elitists! TK blocks Oxford University and Richard "Stalker" Dawkins.img
80Long-time (well since October) CP editor PhillipV plays a teeny prankimg on Terry Koeckritz, who shows that he mustimg have been absentimg the day Jesus invented comedy.
80The answer to this questionimg is "because you're insane, Andy".
80 The Gauntlet has been thrown: Stephen Colbert's The Colbert Report demands that viewers add him to the Conservative Bible. Update: Ask and ye shall receive.img
80Andy: The Biblical account cannot be disproved. Let's be clear about that.img Good? Okay, we know that the Deluge happened, and since it's easier to save animals from a flood with God's help than without,img the theory of evolution is false. LATER Andy adds this to his list of evolution counterexamplesimg.
80Reality: NFL player with a history of problems and a career on the downswing let go after making comments about his coaches and teammates that included homophobic slurs. Andy: NFL player will never play again because he criticized homosexuality!!!!img UPDATE: Less than 9 hours later, reality displays its well-known liberal bias again.
80A report covering 2000-2008 shows some naughty goings on at the Obama Mineral Management Service.img
80Conservative Christian editor: Why was my account blocked?img Uncle Bad Touch: "For protesting against being blocked!"img Oh, and send me a writing plan.
80Ed "Two Meters" Poor presents his greatest masterpiece since Platypus Jokesimg: Spinoffimg Update: This is after complaining about vagueness on Wikipedia
80In a classic Schlafly rearguard Captain Nonsequitor Karajou decides on a kitchensink approach.img
80Karajou decides to change things up a bit and stand up for someone reverting a sysop's edit, Must be easier when the sysop isimg KenWAIT, NO: Ken's not taking this lying down!!!img Annndddd he's goneimg. Without a shred of integrity, Ken engages in liberal lastwordismimg.
80Countdown to Perfection!img Because nothing is more perfect than nothingness, or Conservepedia's lack of content. Or in this particular case, the lack of meaning behind Andy's "Conservative Words." Might I suggest saddlebacking? Tea bagging? No?
80Detroit's population has declined by 25% in the last 10 years thanks to... abortion!img
80Smileimg and the world smiles with you you make Karajou angry.img
80TerryH promulgates the dogma of Conservative Infallibility by going postmodern: How dare a liberal question a conservative's position on science?img
80Andy: This article needs moreimg gibberishimg
80Ken, stick to things you know,img like bestiality. No, really.img
80Karajou: Was Breitbart assassinated?img
80With no sense of irony Karajou declares: "When something utterly fails, it's best to look at just who's in charge.img"
80Not a WIGO, just a vote, [15]img. Up for Greg, Down for Ken.
80Andy (compelling reasons to think God has a sense of humor): "some who idolize Obama think that he is an atheist, when in fact he is likely a Muslim"img
79"Deceit Techniques Used By Liberals Against Conservatives." Hmm, who does this descriptionimg remind you of?
79TK deletesimg CP's longest article (and its talk page) after it's brought up in WIGOtalk as possibly being by Human.
79Bad news for parachute salesmen: faith can physically trump the disorder or chaos of falling.img MOAR ADDITIONAL INSIGHT: Food shortages are inherently disordered!img
79Andy: Only experts on the matter at hand can criticise something.img User: Lenski anyone?img Andy: "We only hate liberals who argue authority on anything! And since you bring up Lenski, do you know what he DOES for a living?!"img And writing lecturer Schlafly? "Overrely" is not a word.
79So in other words, "Never."img
79Dodgy Roger goes for the douche-bag triple crown: "The Trail of Tears wasn't that bad;"img "It's not marital rape, it's just bad communication;"img and "Pinochet didn't murder people, he suppressed them."img
79Julian Assange is a wanted (alleged) rapistimg, Wikileaks is a "vandal site." Then, Assange says Obama should resign, and all the nasty qualifiers are dropped and he's a credible source.img Bastards.
79Ken can't help but notice yet another trait of atheists: they're not just obese, they're ... SHORT!img
79In a section entitled Weaseling, Andy tries to weasel outimg. (And failsimg).
79Andy: God Doesn't spend all his time watching everything that has or will happen(ed)img in the world, and infact is only omniscient when he feels like itimg
78In-depth news analysis, Schlafly style: A man who dresses in black must be an atheist.img Maybe Andy should double check his sources. UPDATE: This issue is raised; Andy responds, "Liberal denier! Intent does matter!"img Someone should change the newsbite to read, "Wearing all black with anti-Christian intent is characteristic of anti-Christian belief systems." More, More: You dare to point out the hypocrisyimg of the great and powerful OZ Schlafly? Away you go!img
78Andy sez that the Nobel Prize is given by liberals to other liberalsimg. Like that noted icon of liberalism, Henry Kissinger. And flaming leftist Andrei Sakharov. And commie-lover F.W. deKlerk. And Soviet stooge Lech Walesa. And that dangerous radical, Mother Teresa. And (according to numerous conservative "thinkers"), famed Republican Martin Luther King.
78Tired of watching a pic of Darwin in the Theory of Evolution article? Finally Conservative provided a better image and captionimg. UPDATE: Surely, such a pretty new picture deserves a spot on the Main Pageimg.
78The Countdownimg to BMcP's banning continues. Will today be the day? Update: Another one bites the 3 billion year old 6,000 year old dustimg. Update 2: 3....2....1....Godspeed!img
78Several states are looking into starting state-owned banks. Andy cheers the move for, of all things, combatting socialism.img
78User: It's probably a coincidence that Earth Day happens to be Lenin's birthday.img Andy: Since both communism and environmentalism are evil, I'd rather pretend otherwise.img Psst, Andy, look at all these other liberal conspiracies.
78Andy on Mainpage (six hours or so before the polls close): Socialists are going dowwwwwn in an historic end to liberal policies! The English press says so!img British press, Andy, British press...plus, he's citing a Malaysian newspaper. UPDATE TK: "Conservatives win"img, meanwhile, back in reality, only 3 seats have been declared. ANDY UPDATE, NOT BEING CONDESCENDING AT ALL: Kiss my red, white and blue ass Welcome back to the special relationship!img
78 Andy: The "Heathen" German World Cup Team had to import "Christian" players from Poland and Brazil to win - this is because Germany doesn't allow Christian homeschooling!img (Note that neither of these two players have ever been homeschooled).
78Andy puts up a stat about Bible sales on 10/24img and it takes one dayimg for him to decide against using a source whose entire point is that niche Bible translations (like the Conservapedia Bible Project) are eroding the Bible as the "authoritative word of God" and making it "something trivial": "It is in effect moving away from a common membership in the body of Christ into disparate, confusing misrepresentations of the rich wisdom of Scripture, which ought to unify us."
78Andy: What? A man with 39 years of public service as the mayor of Chicago, Cook County State's Attorney, and Illinois state senator gets a job at the University of Chicago (an infamously liberal institution for permitting that nobody, Obama, to call himself a "professor") teaching public policy? Must be cronyism!img
78Andrew Schlafly: Public schools need more gunsimg
78What's the most important thing to note about Kim Jong-Il? He was a fat atheist!img
78What Andy tells us: North Korea's evil new leader Kim Jong Un played video games!img
What Andy doesn't tell us: World of Warcraft? Modern Warfare 3? Duke Nukem? Er, no. NBA Basketball.
78Balls
78Andy: Facebook will disappear by 2020. Why? Because liberals!img
78 Conservapedia STILL not wrong.img
78Andy continues to slide ever deeper into the rabbit holeimg
78Something is 6000 years old. Therefore, everything is 6000 years oldimg
78BUMP! Ed will regret thisimg, as HelpJazz takes aim, and hits a bulls-eye!img Update Special Ed never fails to disappointimg. Actually, he's really disappointingimg, threatening everyone for tattling on poor Bugler. At least Phil got a laughimg out of it. WHITEWASHEDimg! Best moments: Ed revertsimg and Blocksimg BRichtigen... for using the exact same words that Bugler got away with scott free.
77Andy takes on the myth of rape: Do the math, and you'll see it's more likely to be struck by lightningimg KevinS does the math, and no, it's notimg Andy: lalalalalalalaimg.
77Andy loses an argument, is shown how he's wrong about his relativity arguments, and even is quoted from the Bible. His response? "Godspeed, for last wordism, personalizing criticism, and basically wasting the time of others without enough substantive editing"img Andy, when will you block yourself for the same?
77 The truth hurts, TKimg. It really does.
77'Obama sacked someone?! That's worse than the murder, deportation and imprisonment of thousands of people!'img
77Lenski Redux:The letter to Douglas Mooimg will be sent out any day now. Should we expect Andy to be mocked again? UPDATE: There, it's gone!img No, hang on I'll change a bitimg.
77Tbunton: Do you guys actually read your sourcesimg, or is this just page after page of non-sequitur copy and pastes? Ken: This non-sequitur copy and pasteimg will answer your question.
77Once upon a time, the friendly homskoller teacher told his pupilsimg that they could gain extra credit if they translated "at least 5 verses for the Conservapedia Bible Translation project". "That's easy!", exclaimed Andy, the class swot who knew everything. "The whole CBP project was my idea!" The teacher finished his notes on 9 Octoberimg and waited for his eager pupils to hand in their work. Twoimg by threeimg the responses came, until little Andy handed in his own workimg. "It... it's not finished yet, sir", said little Andy, and handed in several other lines over the next nine hoursimg. The teacher wondered if little Andy was going to aim for the extra credit, since the CBP was Andy's own project. "Oh! I've got some great ideas for that!", exclaimed little Andy. "Rich people are wonderful!" and he made Jesusimg say soimg. "Is there anything else?", asked the teacher. Little Andy thought for an hour. "Well..." he whined, "I could editimg what more cleverer people already did?". "I see...", said the teacher. "Anything else?" "Well," said little Andy, "I could make some textimg written in the 17th century difficult more understand it was than now then to?" "Excellent work!" said the teacher. "I'm sure you want to keep translating more?" "No." said little Andy. "If I did all the work, why would I need so many parodists?" The End
77Conservapedia: Less than four years after starting the conservative alternative to Wikipedia, Senior Administrators are reduced to blogging about Obama's recent meals.img
77Damn those liberals and their use of modern synonymsimg Update: Gasp! Liberalism has even infected the Conservabibleimg!
77Fencing.gif En garde!img Riposte Philip J. Rayment lays it down!img Critical Hit: HelpJazz fires his lazorsimg! Defeated - Bugler plays Tapsimg.
77How DARE people go shopping and supporting free enterprise, when they should be home, reading the Bible, on the holy day of Thanksgiving.img
76Assorted Parodists: "Obama didn't use a Bible when he took his oath in private - he's a Muslim non-President!"
Karajou: "Obama took the oath properly the second time, since the Bible is not needed. Case closedimg"
TK: "This is a non-issueimg"
Andy (arriving late to the party): "Breaking News!img Obama didn't use a Bible when he took his real oath in private!"
76Namby-pamby 'energy saving' is for FAGS!img Efficiency is an anti-American UN plot!img. Pffft, Earth Hour is just an excuse for liberals to be lazyimg.
76Andy dismisses Vivaldi, Tchaikovsky, Verdi, Schubert, Ravel, Mozart, and other "non-German" composers as "obscure,"img. INSIGHT: Liburlz don't know anything!img MOAR It's not about music, it's about languageimg. ANDY WINZ I'm right I'm right I"M RIGHT!.img MOAR!!! TK steamrolls into Andyimg.
76The Catholic Church saga continues. Blocked editor comes back Why was my IP blocked?img Because you disagreed with Andy, now piss off (signed TK). A fascinating insight into the methods and madness of TK. Update: Ed Poor activates his VSRDimg (very selective rudeness detector ®). Update: Terry Koeckritz decides he was too impersonal and says a more direct Auf Wiedersehenimg whilst coming up with the new concept of "Sort of" blocks.Update Andy arrives late to the party and adds his seal of approvalimg
76Barack Obama? Pfft! Did you mean OSAMA BIN LADEN?!?!?'img
76User: Can you clarify your essay on information theory and explain its definitions?img Andy: Fix it yourself.img With a sly crack about the grammar error in the previous post. User: I may hold a PhD in physics, but I've learned not to disagree with you here on relativity, since you'll delete my corrections.img Andy: I am right, if you would just have an open mind.img User: It's sad that you think you know more about science than someone who researches it daily.img Andy: If you love science so much, YOU pay for it!img TK stops the argument.img
76Is it really Obama who's bitter about not being president of the Harvard Law Review, not being successeful in politics, not winning a Nobel Prize er... not winning all the Nobel Prizesimg?
76Andy: The oldest direct evidence of life is writing, and we have only found proof of that from 3000 BC onwards.img That's indirect evidence Andy. You know what is direct evidence? Bones.
76Conservapedia finishes their Bible Retranslation Project ahead of schedule today!img Wait, didn't they say they would finish it by Easter? I guess accurate timekeeping is a liberal trait.
76Andy with more Biblical scientific foreknowledge:img No one has ever lived past 120 years (except for Jeanne Calment). This apparently confirms a theoretical maximum age set down in the Bible. (Never mind such figures as Abraham, Noah, Shem, Arphaxad, Salah, Eber, etc.) UPDATE: Those men were saints and don't disprove the rule.img
76Atheism: the silent killerimg (so silent only Andy has heard about it)
76Yeah, good luck with that, Ed.img
76Garbage In, Garbage Outimg
76Jared Polis is a rich, gay, activist representative.img State? Party? Time in office? PLEASE! He's rich, gay, and an activist—that's ALL you need to know. (But if he shows up in a movie as a football coach with a teenage daughter, Uncle Ed will keep you informed!)
76No.img Update: Ken must never be questioned.img
76Andy "trims" the last vestiges of that failed experiment.img
76Andy celebrates Gingrich'simg appeal to "negrophobes."img Conservative historians agree: racism rulz.
76Balls
76Remembering Trayvon Martin is "sick and pathetic" according to Jpratt.img
76Play-offs are part of the liberal style.img
76Andy: Oh, if only Oscar Pistorius had married his girlfriend, she might be alive today!img
75Wikipedia is in a terrible stateimg, with just 146,000 active users. If only they were a Trusworthy Encyclopedia, with nearly 100img users.
75More proof of a young Earth. this editimg somehow claims that the changes in the Earth's magnetic field must be exponential, and so the Earth can't possibly be old. It cites a web page from NASA. That web page has a graph showing that the field changes are anything but exponential. And it mentions that "There have been about 170 of these [magnetic field] reversals during the last 76 million years ..." Hardly an endorsement of a 6000 year old Earth. UPDATE Someone points out the "76 million years" bit. Andy revertsimg, calling it "biased and unprovable speculation" and leaves thisimg classic Andyism.
75User: How do all the unseasonably warm temperatures square with Andy's talk of how cold nights in New Jersey disprove global warming?img Jinx hi Jinx!: SHEDDAP, BLASPHEM—img ...uh, wait, I thought of a way to respond!img (Of course, the user who asked the question will have no comment.img) UPDATE: The user is wrong because global warming would mean colder winters.img (Of course, this means that Andy's cold nights in New Jersey work out as evidence for global warming, but we can iron that out later...) MORE: Terry Koeckritz chimes in: This is a massive fraud that is part of a vast commie plot involving the creation of a welfare state to enslave blacks.img
75The debate on Fidel won't die! User: Other countries' leaders say he's alive. Do they lie, too?img Karajou: If you think he's alive, go there to see for yourself. While you're there, try to criticize him or attend the church you want.img Andy: Castro wrote articles? Proves NOTHING! Each day he lives, the chance he's still alive shrinks. It's amazing liberals deny he's dead! Liberals won't deny it if the NYT runs a front page article about it! THEN Cuba will announce he's dead!img User: I was just asking questions about why you think he's dead.img Karajou: If you don't care, then ARGUMENT OVER!img User: I'm sorry. I just wanted the truth, not speculation.img
75More on Andy logic: Spain has same-sex marriage, socialism, and 20% unemployment. Therefore, Spain hasn't won a Winter Olympic Medalimg! Bonus points that he linked an article about Spain's economy instead of the well being in the Winter Olympics.
75The only noteworthy application of linear algebra Andy can think of: Analyzing Liberal style on Wikipediaimg.
75Kowardjerk bravely highlights the hypocrisy of the Obamas being concerned about their nation's obesity yet eating ice-cream!img BONUS: Ken points out how they keep quiet about them there fat lesbians.img
75As Andy "2+2=4" Schlafly plows headlong intoimg theimg worldimg ofimg mathematicsimg without a clue where he's going. The inevitable result: division by zeroimg
75It is proven. It is not a human updating MPR, it's a bot using the name ASchlafly. It picks a headline, and a random anti-liberal statement, with no feasible link whatsoever.img
75Those with an antichristian [sic] and anti-American agenda, such as liberals, homosexuals, atheists, evolutionists and leftists, have attempted to remove the Christian origins of our language by replacing common phrases, such as Shroveimg Tuesdayimg, with secularized versions. In other news, IT'S MARDI GRAS!!!img
75Daniel1212: The reason we do not stone rebellious teenagers to death is not because we do not think it is wrong to be so, but only because, like ceremonial laws, a change in covenant does not necessitate or allow that the church keep the civil capital penalties.img Sadly, Daniel1212 is not a parodist.
75"I feel bad that this is so disturbing to you. I hope you don't work yourself into a frenzy and have sleepless nights over this matter. I can tell you that I am not going to lose any sleep over this matter." says Kenimg, before editing continuously through the night with at most a two-and-a-half hour break.img
75How to be a CP sysop in one easy lesson.
Karajou: "Away with you,img HorribleHorace, once again you've proved you're unfit for our paradise!"
The Real Horace: "Umm, you know that isn't me... right?"img
Karajou: "Of course!img I just enjoy lying. AWAY WITH YOU TOO!"
75Clearly consistency isn't Ed's strong suitimg. If Casino Royale had been about a football coach with an eleven-year old daughter on the other hand...
75The peasants are revolting! Oh no, they created an essayimg pointing out the silliness that is Ken's QE! hype! Quick, Ken, show them your debating skills! ...oh, crap.img Time to win this debate the CP way: Block,img censor,img ban.img
75Pro wandalism: Counterexamples to Evolution gets a Rodgers & Hammerstein remix.img
75Ed: You're wrongimg! User: No, actually I'm rightimg... Ed: Touché.img But I'm stillimg going toimg persecuteimg you.
75No one mentions that Missy Franklin goes to a Catholic high school; it must be a liberal conspiracyimg, according to Andy.
75Todd Akin is a hero standing up to media bullying.img (Also, Piers Morgan is a liberal.)
75Lowkey throws a grenadeimg at Aschlafly, when is block gonna happen? Update Andy showsimg leadership. Developing Ed makes a subtle grabimg for power? More Andy identifies the real problemimg - people spelling hell with a small 'h'. And in the meantime, even senior sysop CPAdmin1/Tim is about to go the wayimg of the 90/10 Dodo.
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