Conservapedia:The Conservative Bible Project

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On Christmas Day 2008, Andrew Schlafly started his most important project and what some might consider his biggest insult to Christianity to date: Conservapedia's Bible Retranslation Projectimg.

Contents

[edit] Project outline

SchlaflyBible.jpg

Despite poor descriptions by Schlafly of the means to be employed to re-translate the Bible, in its execution so far the project does not involve any substantial translation of the original Hebrew, Aramaic or Greek texts, or later translations of these such as the Greek Septuagint or the Latin Vulgate. Rather, Schlafly has been altering the text of the KJV on a word-for-word and idea-for-idea basis to eradicate words and concepts that he feels threaten his personal concept of Christian Conservatism. This is probably because, while claiming to have expertise in ancient Greek,[1] Schlafly seems to have a shaky grasp of it and isn't even sure what language Jesus was speaking.[2] One obvious consequence of his methodology is that Schlafly misapprehends the significance of words and phrases with idiomatic meaning in the Ancient Greek, particularly such as appear in the Pauline letters, and fails to include such meaning in his alterations of the KJV text.

[edit] Reasons behind the project

See the main article on this topic: Conservapedia:Conditions for a conservative Bible

The stated rationale behind the project is that English is changing (or "devolving" according to Schlafly)[3] so rapidly that the words in previous Biblical translations are no longer accurate. Schlafly goes on to say that "If a word inevitably alters its meaning after an approximate number of uses, then the time period for the change in meaning will shorten due to improved technology". The project also focuses on the fact that several new words have entered the English lexicon since the original translations of the Bible and that these could be useful in adding new bias giving the translation more relevant meaning (naturally, these words include homeschool and conservative). Presumably this means that by the time the project is completed, it will already be out of date and a new translation will be required to compensate for further devolution.

The roots of the idea seem to lie in Schlafly's Conservapedia entry for Disputed Biblical Translationsimg, started earlier in December 2008. In this he lamented that recent translations such as the New International Version have fewer direct mentions of Hell, the Devil and the divinity of Jesus Christ than are in the King James Version. Of course in Schlafly's mind this is all about liberal creep and misappropriation, rather than anything to do with advances in classical scholarship over the past four centuries.

[edit] Specific examples

Presumably this is because rich people and their apologists are uncomfortable with being told that being rich is a bad thing.
This is a common dispute with the commandment "thou shall not kill." Biblical Hebrew has several words that could be used for "kill," and the word used in the commandment is never used when referring to killing in war. Therefore translating the commandment as "thou shall not murder" is arguably closer to the original intent; but Schlafly's reason is probably to justify capital punishment, torture, and war mongering. But not abortion for some reason.
Due to Andy's hatred of "evil libruls", even using the word in a non political way, such as "give your cake a liberal sprinkling of icing sugar" is wrong.
The official reason given is that "Grace" is a girl's name,[4] presumably leaving "faith", "hope", and "charity" yet to be reworded. In addition, If "liberal" can be replaced with "generous", would the word "grace", by syllogism, mean "boundless liberality" back then?
Covering up the rather embarrassing error of the original Evangelists, who confused the less rigid Pharisees with the stricter Sadducees. As a bonus, it throws in a boilerplate modern conservative term of abuse against contemporary opponents, transforming a doctrinal dispute in 1st century Judaism into Jesus castigating those snooty latte-sippers.

[edit] Alternatively...

An alternative explanation is that the Bible Retranslation Project is just the sort of thing that happens when Internet kooks have too much wine and chocolate at Christmas, or when megalomaniacs stray further and further beyond the curtain of sanity.

Frankly, the LOLCat Bible seems to be to be a more accurate translation than the abomination that they propose!! And to those Conservapedia folks I say:

18 Da BirdKat say: if pplz adz stuff to teh profetzi of book, Ceiling Cat make them sicz, leik sayed in book.
19 And if pplz photoshpz the Heliez Bibul, the Ceiling Cat takes pplz's cheezburger away, k?
20 BRB
21 Da grase of Lord Jebus Crist be wit u kittehs fer evr n evr Amen. Fer rlz. kthxbai! (Hai tis end! Srsly! No lai!)
(Rev 22:18-21)

—Mau de Katt, at Slacktivist

[edit] Examples of Conservapedia exegesis of the New Testament

[edit] Progress (or lack thereof)

Unsurprisingly, the project was met with skepticism and criticism from some Conservapedia editors, which was dismissed contemptuously by Schlafly. The article's talk page makes for some interesting reading, particularly a series of posts in which Andy, responding to comments that his "translations" contradicted accepted Biblical and linguistic scholarship, entirely debunked the concept of expertise.

The "experts" also say that global warming is a crisis and that more government spending is needed. God gave us all the ability to think for ourselves. Let's use it."[7]

Sure Andy, those "experts" talking about global warming are exactly the same people as the ones who translate ancient Greek and Hebrew.

Subsequent comments by Andy continued to emphasize "thinking for yourself" (a Euphemism for agreeing uncritically with Schlafly) as a more reliable method of translation than actual knowledge or study of ancient languages.[8] They also showcased his delusions of grandeur swelling to absurd proportions and his tenuous grip on reality faltering.

The efficiency of the learning from this project is far greater than in any other medium, much higher than reading a book, attending a seminar, watching television, discussing with people, etc. In merely a few spare minutes or hours, the participants in this project have learned more than they could have after spending 10x or 100x many hours in any other medium.[9]

Both the discussion and the project itself initially fizzled out during early January. Schlafly's biggest supporters on the talk page had been parodists (Bugler and RodWeathers), who have subsequently been exposed and left the site. The other major contributor has been DeniseM, an editor with a good knowledge of Hebrew, Greek and other languages, who has made a start on translating the Book of Esther.[10]

Andy seemed to have largely lost interest in the project, probably due to his short attention span and the many other subjects demanding his "insights". Quite possibly he also realized that he was out of his depth, when confronted with questions like "how do people here render ויהי בימי אחשורוש הוא אחשורוש המלך מהדו ועד כוש שבע ועשרים ומאה מדינה?" and "How do people want to transliterate אֲחַשְׁוֵרוֹשׁ?" from DeniseM.[11]

The translation of the New Testament was completed on April 23, 2010 by the best of the public.[12] However, when Andy's interpretation of the scriptures is questioned using the Conservative Bible [13] Andy will make improvements in order to rectify the matter.[14][15] Improvements are also made whenever his next insight[16] requires Biblical verification[17] or pet theories lunacies require Biblical proof, for example[18] disproving relativity.[19] Anyone else doing the same is reverted and blocked for vandalism.[20]

[edit] Summer resurgence

By August 2009 DeniseM and her awkward scholarly questions had disappeared and the concept was resurrected. Andy realised there was no translation of the bible which met his definition of a conservative translation, so he set himself the lofty task of creating his own. The prevailing logic of the reinvigorated exercise is that when the King James Version was first printed in 1611 they did not have access to his "powerful" list of new conservative words that Schlafly spent the first half of the year compiling, which they would have surely used to express the bible's conservative and free market ideas. The only problem was that without being well versed in Hebrew or Koine Greek the Conservapedians could not do a proper translation.

As a result, Schlafly and a small but committed cadre of parodists now have the stated goal of "translating" - more accurately, rewording - six verses of the KJV each day, which will enable Mark's Gospel (the shortest of the four) to be made fully conservative within four months. The talk page is full of optimism, and includes such revolutionary insights as improving on "Holy Spirit" with "Divine Force".

Bits of other books of the New Testament have also been attempted here and there, including half of the letter to Philemon - finally, someone has opened their eyes to the obvious socialism in Philemon verse 1[21] and removed it. Unfortunately, at the time of writing, this translation stops just short of the phrase "mine own bowels".

[edit] Right wing criticism

Given how Conservapedia hangs on to every word of Joseph Farah's WorldNetDaily as newsworthy, it must have come as quite a surprise when somebody who is, theoretically, Schlafly's target market lashed out at the project.[22] Farah described the project as "incredibly stupid and misguided", "nutty", a "trivialization and politicization of the Scriptures" and a "profoundly dangerous practice spiritually". He also had a dig by referring to the authors, Andrew Schlafly and TerryH, as "conservatives" (using the inverted commas).

Schlafly's response was to call Farah's comments "over the top",[23] and TerryH went one step further and drafted a long, rambling screed defending their actions. Armed with a pocket Greek dictionary and Google Translate, Terry concludes his reply by stating, "truth is truth and error is error. And in my determination not to let error stand, I yield to no man, no matter what his reputation or standing in anything that might be called 'the conservative movement.'"[24]

Additionally, Chick Publications raised concerns about the CBP's habit of removing verses from the translated Bible. In conclusion, their article asked the questions:

Do you think it's important when 12 verses remove everything that happened to Jesus after His burial? Do you think it's important if one missing word makes Jesus look like a liar? Do you think it's important when one missing word ("God") removes the doctrine of the Incarnation (God becoming a man) in a verse? Do you think it's important if the only verse countering infant baptism is removed?[25]

[edit] Highlights

As of May 2010 the entire Gospels are finished (behind the stated goal of having it done before Easter[26]). The project isn't so much a 'translation' as a anachronistic dumbing down of the King James Version (which is conveniently not copyrighted) with the occasional conservative twist. The KJV verses are put right beside the "Proposed Conservative Translation". The contrast between the archaic literary prose of the KJV and the artless, agenda-ridden language of the Conservative Bible is stunning. For example, the KJV of Luke 11:53-4 reads:

And as he [Jesus] said these things unto them, the scribes and the Pharisees began to urge him vehemently, and to provoke him to speak of many things

Laying wait for him, and seeking to catch something out of his mouth, that they might accuse him.

The Conservative Bible "translation" (done by Andy himself) reads:

As Jesus told them off, the scribes and Pharisees furiously interrogated Him about everything,

plotting and seeking to quote Him for a politically incorrect remark to use against Him.[27]

In addition to trying to interject the modern concept of political correctness into the Bible Andy has his Lord and Saviour telling people off.

Or take Luke 12:43-4. KJV:

Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing.

Of a truth I say unto you, that he will make him ruler over all that he hath.

Conservative Bible:

Blessed is that manager, whose employer finds working so diligently

Truly I tell you, he will promote that manager to run all of his affairs.[28]

In addition, Andy:

While many groups in the past have tried to rewrite the Bible to fit their agenda none has ever been this obvious about it, while simultaneously reducing the book's quality to just below a Dan Brown novel. Heathens would have trouble topping this heresy.

[edit] Views from the blogosphere

In late September and early October 2009, the project attracted more widespread attention on the internet, initially from religious or conservative bloggers, before being picked up by others, and even columnists from some major journals.

[edit] Examples of websites and blogs criticising or ridiculing the project

[edit] Examples of blogs defending the project

[edit] Examples of Andy defending his project

[edit] See also

[edit] External Links

[edit] Footnotes

  1. Andy refers to having studied Ancient Greekimg, but neglects to give details.
  2. "Often this term was used by Jesus (assuming he spoke Greek)".img
  3. See his article on devolution of language.
  4. Quick, someone name their daughters to be "Boundless Generosity" (At least it is better than Stewart Francis, who said "We have a daughter who we named after my mom. In fact, Passive-Aggressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow.")
  5. http://www.conservapedia.com/Biblical_Exegesis_the_wiki_way]
  6. http://www.conservapedia.com/Epistle_to_the_Hebrews_(Translated)
  7. Comment here.img
  8. E.g. see theseimg comments.img
  9. Comment here.img See also this comment.img
  10. See this section.
  11. DeniseM's comments hereimg and here.img
  12. [1]img
  13. [2]img
  14. [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Matthew_10-19_(Translated)&diff=prev&oldid=828133img
  15. http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Matthew_10-19_(Translated)&diff=prev&oldid=828134img]
  16. [3]img
  17. [4]img
  18. [5]img
  19. [6]img
  20. [7]img]
  21. Biblegateway - Philemon, 1:1 "Philemon our dearly beloved comrade fellow labourer". The NIV dares to even say "fellow worker". The reds are everywhere!
  22. Farah's ramblings - October 22 2009
  23. Andy's response to Farah's articleimg
  24. TerryH's Reply to Joseph Farahimg
  25. How to speed-test a new Bible version
  26. Easterimg
  27. Luke 11:53-4 Conservative Bibleimg
  28. Luke 12:43-4 Conservative Bibleimg
  29. Jesus: "Listen up"img
  30. Consideration of 'bimbo'img
  31. "burdensome regulations"img
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