Daily Express

"Keep out, Britain is full up!" says the self-proclaimed "World's Greatest Newspaper." But if Victoria Beckham gets any smaller, we may have room for one more.

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The Daily "Diana" Express is a racist Little Englander rag an infamous conservative British tabloid newspaper. It is one of two papers nicknamed "Yahbloids" along with the Daily Mail, because they target a more middle class readership than the "Red Tops" or working class papers.

In some respects, it is amazing that the Daily Express still exists in the crowded and declining UK newspaper market, but that can be put down to brand loyalty and some "clickbaity" type features. Readers of a certain vintage will also remember it fondly for its children's section, which included such perennial favourites as Rupert the Bear, and they probably make up some percentage of the persistent readership.

History

The paper was founded in 1900 but hit its stride in 1916 when it was bought by Canadian Max Aitken, who soon got pally with Liberal Prime Minister David Lloyd George, becoming Minister for Information and gaining the title Lord Beaverbrook.

In 1931 Conservative PM Stanley Baldwin attacked Beaverbrook and Daily Mail boss Lord Rothermere, saying "What the proprietorship of these papers is aiming at is power, and power without responsibility – the prerogative of the harlot throughout the ages." At the time, the papers were trying to get their own candidates into power in the Conservative party, instead of Baldwin's.

In 1936 it was the best-selling newspaper in the world, with a circulation of 2.25 million; its sales reached 4 million in 1949. Its circumstances have changed a lot since then.

Editorial viewpoints

Historical

In 1933, when (amidst ongoing harassment towards Jews in Germany) foreign critics of the Nazi regime led a boycott of German goods the Express ran with the headline: JUDAEA DECLARES WAR ON GERMANY! Jews Of All The World Unite In Action. This headline is still widely circulated around white nationalist and anti-Semitic blogs and Bible-thumping websites on the internet as undeniable proof of the Jewish agenda to force Western nations into war for Germany, despite it being little more than run-of-the-mill tabloid sensationalism. Nevertheless, "Jews of all the world" certainly did not "unite in action" for this: several large Jewish organizations in the US and UK withheld from supporting the boycott movement (fearing it could provoke further harm towards German Jews).

The paper claimed a crusading purpose, with a crusader knight as a logo, although according to the BBC its campaigns "did not always have the intended effect. [Its] attack on the Labour party during the 1945 general election with the headline The National Socialists was considered by some to have helped to secure their victory, while cynics said no cause was truly lost until it had been championed by the Express." It also gained a reputation for suppressing undesirable news stories such as the affair between Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson, and Churchill's stroke in 1949.

In the 1950s, the paper employed prominent British fascist A. K. Chesterton as a "literary adviser" and columnist; Chesterton also ghost-wrote Beaverbrook's autobiography.

In the late 1990s, it briefly tried a left-wing position under editor Rosie Boycott, but soon reverted to type when in 2000 it was purchased by pornographer and wannabe media tycoon Richard Desmond (aka Dirty Desmond or Dirty Des).

Modern

The Daily Express online is like the Daily Mail online but even more vapid and sensationalist, and celebrity orientated. Articles are short and lacking substance, and headlines randomly CAPITALISE words to emphasise what you SHOULD believe. Headlines frequently distort the truth, bearing no resemblance to the content of the article beneath. On 13 January 2018 the startling headline "NASA alien ADMISSION: Space agency reveals ‘we can’t hide them’ in bombshell video" did not in fact reveal the "Full Disclosure" long-predicted by UFO loons (often in the Express comments), but was an interview with NASA's assistant director, who said that science was so open that any discovery of aliens would be known by all and impossible to cover up. In other words, the headline deliberately suggested the exact opposite of the truth. This is a very common practice by the Express online. Every week or two it is applied to stories about Yellowstone, one of their favourite sources of Doomsday threat. Headlines such as "Yellowstone WARNING: Scientists reveal Yellowstone at ‘TIPPING POINT’ in dire new study. YELLOWSTONE National Park stands on the brink of fiery disaster, scientists have warned", complete with images of erupting volcanoes, might give the impression that a devastating eruption is imminent. However, as with every use of such headlines, it actually refers to the threat of bushfires and climate change turning woodland into grassland.. See also: Yellowstone volcano: Why are THOUSANDS of animals leaving the active supervolcano? THOUSANDS of Yellowstone-native species are migrating away from the active supervolcano, scientists have spectacularly announced, which referred to the annual migration of elk and not some imminent disaster sensed by animals.

On 5 February 2019 they ran the alarming headline "Mount St Helens eruption FEARS: Volcano expert warns ‘I have never seen ANYTHING like it’". Reading the article showed that the expert was describing what he had seen when the volcano erupted in 1980, in other words "recalling" and not "warning" in any way.

Many articles are based entirely on one unhinged or uninformed individual's opinions on the internet, rather than anything usually regarded as important, like facts. Almost weekly there are articles claiming that NASA is covering up yet another alien fossil or artefact spotted in photos of Mars, based solely on claims from one UFO obsessive on his blog (see "Woo" below). A dramatic headline claiming that Yellowstone was about to blow was based simply on ONE ill-informed individual's comments on Reddit: “The scientists say that even though that the volcano is overdue, it probably won't erupt in our lifetime. Even if it were to erupt, we should have up to two months of advanced warning to evacuate everyone in the ‘kill zone’. But instead of warning everyone two months in advance what if the scientists don't? What if the government gives no warning of the eruption, and just deals with the aftermath after it blows? The government will not warn the people of the eruption, because it will logistically easier to handle the smaller size of survivors.”. In other words, potentially anything at all could become an online Daily Express article if anyone made any sort of claim, no matter how unhinged, on social media.

Frank Hoogerbeets, another charlatan who provides the Express website with sometimes daily articles runs a website claiming that he can forecast earthquakes. He makes sensational claims about upcoming disastrous earthquakes that the Express turns into shocking and dramatic headlines: "Earthquake WARNING: ‘Huge MEGA-THRUST to strike’ by end of February. A MEGA-THRUST earthquake could shake our planet to the core in the next few weeks"; "Ground-splitting EARTHQUAKE could hit by February 21 – shock claim"; "Earthquake WARNING: Totally DESTRUCTIVE tremor to strike NEXT WEEK - shock claim. A POTENTIALLY civilisation ending earthquake has been predicted within a WEEK", "Earthquake WARNING: Magnitude NINE tremor to hit by February 26 - shock claim. A MAJOR earthquake is on its way by February 26 and it could be compatible to the two BIGGEST tremors on record"; and so on. None of these events ever occur, and this individual has long been recognised as a charlatan, but the Express happily creates articles from his woo and reports real earthquakes as low as 3 on the Richter Scale (ie very minor) in order to suggest there MIGHT be something in it.

In common with all right wing media, the military is fetishised for its easily-led readers. Thus a story about a British Royal Marine jailed for murdering an injured prisoner was met with furious comments that he was a hero because killed the enemy, the prisoner would have killed him if he got the chance, that more should have been killed, and so on. Contrast with a story about Pakistani soldiers beating a captured Indian pilot during the 2019 conflict: "Geneva Convention, mistreatment of prisoners"; "Many of these countries have declared themselves bound by the convention but have never observed it"; "You don't have to tell us this, we know how the heroes of Islam treat prisoners" .

Every few days they run articles about Michael Schumacher, with headlines claiming that they have NEW REVELATIONS about his health, or a MAJOR UPDATE on his condition. Without exception the articles are essentially the same - Schumacher's family or manager says that they want privacy and will not be talking about him. See for example "Michael Schumacher SILENCE BROKEN: Major update as manager opens up on F1 star's health".

In keeping with its apparent desire to crank up its Brexiter readers into a murderous rage, it made stories that had nothing to do with Brexit seem as though they were. A small island that had limits placed on daily visitor numbers to protect its natural environment, was reported with the deliberately misleading headline "TOURIST CRACKDOWN: Britons will need PERMISSION to visit Canary island or face FINES". This had the desired effect of angering readers who thought that this was the EU once again picking on the British .

Knowing that many readers are tinfoil hatters and/or Apocalyptic Bible readers, they report natural annual insect swarms from around the world, using words like ARMAGEDDON, BIBLICAL, APOCALYPSE and PLAGUE to trigger responses. Headline: "END OF THE WORLD: 'Biblical' plague of locusts in Egypt sparks apocalyptic WARNING. A LOCUST plague of “biblical proportions” headed for Egypt has sparked concern the end of the world is fast approaching, a Bible expert has shockingly warned. A plague of locusts not seen since the days of the Christian Bible is spreading like wildfire through Africa, along the Red Sea coast and towards Egypt and Saudi Arabia.

Biblical prophesy also appears in the mainstream "News" section of the website, amongst articles that are as factual as the Express can muster. So you will see headlines about Brexit, the weather and the Royal Family, then: "Jerusalem Third Temple PROPHECY: How Third Temple will trigger END OF THE WORLD. THE Third Temple of Jerusalem is a prophetic sign of the approaching apocalypse, doomsday preachers have warned, as rumours circulate the Jewish house of worship is about to be rebuilt". Articles like this are a weekly and sometimes daily occurrence .

Like flies around a fresh dog turd, providing an endless supply of crackpot and racist nonsense means that the Express website attracts disturbed readers from around the world. Many believe that Jews and/or Freemasons run the world or are planning some future takeover, but one free thinker decided that it was the transgender people who were controlling the media, politics and the Royal Family, and that individuals purporting to be male were in fact female, and vice versa. "Demon Trannees using their fiiilllth controlled media to continue lyyiing desseeeving and causing khaos", he suggested, and, "When you have a bunch of desseeving, liiiiing Tranz.gendur Baphomet Saytun worshiping TRANNNNEEEEZ controlling banks and causing khaos playing games with your Brexit, what else would one expect? " He may still not be the most unhinged Express reader, however.

Readers of the online version tend to be more overtly racist and more gullible than even Daily Mail readers, a large number giving themselves usernames referencing Brexit, hating the EU or variants on ultra nationalist themes. Articles often dispense with fact, instead offering opinions that align with the readership and which are intended to both confirm readers' bias and trigger them into apoplectic, mouthfoaming rage. Headlines are often deliberately worded to achieve this end: hot weather is not due to warm air coming to Britain, but "AFRICAN air".

Reader comments are frequently veiled racism, except when they are overt racism. Many commenters openly express support for far right and neo-Nazi groups, and confidently make racial slurs about any black or Asian person in the news. When the Mayor of Gdansk was stabbed, on 14 January 2019, the article told readers that the Mayor was a progressive, supporting gay rights, and that the attacker was a violent convict who blamed the Mayor's party for jailing him. Despite this, reader comments included those suggesting that the attacker was a violent lefty who had stabbed the Mayor for being a right wing nationalist, or that he was a Muslim attacking a Christian. One suggested that in the past (ie the mythical time before immigration) people never used knives, and another "hoped" (wink, wink) that something similar didn't happen to London Mayor (and hate figure to DE readers) Sadiq Khan. The following day, once readers had finally realised that the Mayor had been left wing, their sympathies evaporated, but some still believed the attacker to be Muslim.

A January 2019 article about DNA scientist James Watson being stripped of honorary titles for stating that black people were less intelligent than whites was met with enthusiastic agreement that yes, they were and they didn't need science to prove that, from readers angry that lefty scientists were lying to hide the "real truth". These keen white supremacists were happily allowed by the Daily Express to say almost anything they wanted. Oddly, these Daily Express readers, so keen to accept a scientist's word on black IQ, adamantly reject all other science, particularly connected with global warming.

Like the Daily Mail, the Express is typically outspoken against further European immigration, laments the downfall of the traditional nuclear family, and is highly critical of un-conservative, un-British "values." The main news articles often include telephone numbers for its readership to text message their opinions in relation to the article topic. These text-in boxes are typically of questions along the lines of "Should Britain leave the EU?" and "Should we shut down immigration to the UK?" Unsurprisingly these polls tend to produce results in the high 90s percent range, which is taken by readers to "prove" that their views are both valid and mainstream.

Express Newspapers also publish a red-top tabloid (i.e. even more trashy and sensationalist), the Daily Star.

The Express and the Star, along with some other red-top tabloids (The Sun, News of the World), are noted for morbidly milking human interest stories for as much mileage as possible, particularly cases of missing or murdered children. While it could be considered commendable to keep up the publicity for an unsolved child's disappearance, in the Madeleine McCann case of 2007, most headlines revolved around sensationalising accusations brought against the parents. Even in 2009, sensational headlines involving mostly speculative details and accusations continued to head the Express front page. Such coverage of the Madeleine McCann case led to the child's parents suing the Express and the Star for libel over accusations of their involvement in her mysterious disappearance. Sensationalising the most inane and trivial things on the front page probably hit its peak with a Sunday Express report that survivors of the Dunblane massacre were "shaming the memory of their dead friends" by... well, doing what perfectly normal 18 year-olds do, like occasionally swear and drink a bit.

During the housing boom of the 1980s the Express ran a readers' competition to "Win a £125,000 mortgage."

The online version is an alarming mishmash of poorly-written stories under clickbait headlines, by 2018 mainly on just a handful of subjects - Brexit, the weather, the British Royal Family, Donald Trump, crime, and Muslims (the last two subjects often reported together). The same stories are repeated many times throughout the website, with slightly different headlines and pictures and to an absurd degree, so that London Mayor Sadiq Khan's Twitter feud with Donald Trump was repeated over 40 times on the same day, and Hurricane Florence over 60 times. It reached a peak on December 13 2018, when Brexit appeared in 86 separate articles, leaving almost no space for anything else. On 3 February 2019 there were, bizarrely for a British news site, let alone a US one, 17 separate stories about Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog that predicts the end of winter. Headlines included, "Groundhog Day 2019 results livestream" and multiple variations on "Did he see his shadow? What did he predict? Who is he?"

Frequently the headlines talk about how any diplomatic dispute is going to cause WORLD WAR 3, to the degree that there's an entire category for articles with that in the headline. Although articles usually show a byline, the articles themselves sometimes seem to have been written by a faulty computer program. A November 2018 article on a volcanic eruption said, "The terrifying tectonic display was recorded for hours and developed into a fearsome time-lapse". Another said, "A bolt of lightening also strikes the active volcano located in southern Kyushu which is home to more than 600,000 people. Thick smoke from the summit has reached over 4,000 metres and continue to pollute the pacific ocean island. The aluminous red laver dominates the night sky which can be seen from miles".

On December 10 2018 an article on the F-35 fighter jet read,

"Temperatures in Centigrade TODAY'S SUMMARY Although US makers Lockheed Martin says it should be reapplied at regular services, an RAF source said the all-over spraying may have to be carried out after every flight. North West: Early showers will ease to leave it mostly dry with some sun. Fresh north-westerly winds. High 9C (48F). East Anglia: showers. Drier winds. High 9C Northern Ireland: Scattered showers are expected, especially in the afternoon. Moderate winds. High 8C (46F). "This situation obviously has to be rectified before the plane enters operational service," said the source, London/South dry and fine with cloud. A brisk Wales: Scattered showers, heavy during the morning. Some sun too. "Moderate South: Early with spells of adding that defence secretary Gavin Williamson and RAF chief Air Chief Marshal Sir Stephen Hillier had always been aware of the problem. Britain took delivery of the initial batch of F-35B Lightnings in June. Sunny periods and scattered later. Fresh north-westerly (48F). Lockheed vice president Jeff Babione acknowledged: "We inadvertently scratch the coating system, and we have to repaint it." North West Coast: It is going to with a mixture of sunny spells and these will be mostly light. A Moderate westerly wind. High 10C (50F). Another company spokesman said: "Stealth maintenance on the F-35 is East: Early showers, then sunny spells and patchy breeze. High 11C (52F). showers, then turning dry hazy sunshine. Fresh northwesterly South West Coast: It is expected damp with drizzle and showers Drier and brighter later. A strong wind. High 11C (52F). It requires less maintenance and is easier, more affordable and faster to repair compared to previous low-observable aircraft." But Air Commodore Andrew Lambert, a past RAF director of defence studies, said: "Lockheedbe bright East Coast: It is going to be mainly dry showers, and bright but with the small chance of a light shower early on. A moderate westerly breeze. High 9C (48F). "In and central sunny. day Martin says it's better now, but it takes just one scratch to give the fighter jet the same radar profile as a 747, then you may as well not be bothering."

Despite being reported, the article remained up for more than 17 hours in this form.

Readers flock to the online version to have their prejudices confirmed even more enthusiastically than with the paper version, their comments reflecting that. Fires of any kind are reported by the Express more often than they used to be because since the Grenfell Tower fire tragedy readers "know" that they are caused by "Muslims", or unspecified "immigrants" who are "looking for compensation", or "leftist terrorists", and they want to be kept informed of every "plot". A fire on Saddleworth Moor was attributed to - you guessed it! - Muslims, because Britain never used to get fires before, "no matter how many hot days we had." The same reader believed that fly tipping also never occurred before immigration began, whenever that was.

As soon as news broke of the devastating fire that consumed much of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, the world mourned. To the surprise of nobody, Daily Express readers didn't. "There has been a lot of desecration of French Churches in the past months, the invaders need the space for Mosques" said one. "You will have a nice new car park now ready to rip off the tourists next summer" said another. "I will laugh if the perpetrator is from the religion of peace" suggested a not-at-all insane reader. Other comments in a tidal wave of sympathy included, "cannot see what all the fuss is about...it was a old building..now you can build a estate for your friends from the east"..."It will be rebuilt as a Mosque"..."Was it a Act of God or was it one of his Profits [sic] disciples ???"... "The followers of the book of peace & love surely! They are certainly cheering in the UK so I read"..." The opinion of experts that it was an accident was derided by readers, who considered the speedy verdict to be evidence of a cover up. Of course it wasn't nearly as speedy as Express readers deciding instantaneously that it was Muslims.

The Express, mindful of how far right its readership is, and how tenuous their grip on reality, ran a story with the headline "Notre Dame was 'no accident' – why France believes Paris cathedral blaze was Europe’s 9/11". Reading the article showed that "France" meant not the entire population of the country, but a handful of far right loons.

Other popular theories, that for once didn't involve Muslims, included French President Emmanuel Macron deliberately having Notre Dame burned to deflect attention from his political problems, or to halt the ongoing populist "Yellow Vest" protests, or that the fire was lit by "Polish and Romanian" or "Eastern European" workmen, because apparently that is the sort of thing they do. The fact that these theories clearly cancelled each other out mattered not one bit; anything was more believable than "accident during renovation work". Exterior statues being removed a week earlier became "all valuables were mysteriously removed just before the fire", according to many, and TV images from one camera viewpoint showing one visible fire hose was "proof" that the French deliberately let the building burn. How this tied in with it being a Muslim attack is anyone's guess, but it "proved" to many that it was part of Macron's plot.

President Donald Trump chipped in, suggesting that water bombing aircraft be used, and despite many experts on the ground in Paris saying that it would collapse the walls and destroy artworks still within the building, Express readers agreed that he was right and that failure to do as he said was further "proof" that the destruction of the building was planned. Or alternatively that it showed how inept the French were at everything.

In October 2018, responding to reports of a fire at a gas works in London, readers began to suggest a new suspect; "the EU", who were lighting fires to cause panic and chaos, and "give British people a warning over Brexit", as well as hinting that it was Muslims wanting space to build another mosque. On December 22 2018, full of Christmas spirit, readers confidently stated that the operators of drones that had shut down Gatwick Airport were Muslims, despite zero actual evidence. Shortly afterwards, a probable gas explosion that destroyed a house in Andover was also immediately attributed by readers to Muslims making bombs, despite the occupant of the house being a white English man. On 12 January 2019 a gas explosion in a bakery in Paris was attributed by commenters to Muslims, with many complaining that their comments saying just that had been censored.

This raging misunderstanding of the world can be attributed to the Daily Express' history of stories that are at best distorted or misleading and at worst actual lies. An article about the reduction in numbers of children's books in British libraries was met with readers' own special theories as to why: nobody speaks English any more; "they" only need "one book" (ie the Quran); hardback books are being banned because unlike e-books they can't be rewritten to include "minority beliefs" about sexual orientation etc. An article about calls for high sugar cereals to be banned for the sake of children's health led one reader to conclude that the only possible reason was to pander to Muslims. This dislike of "nanny state" interference in personal choice is matched by the desire for the BBC and Guardian to be banned for offering opinions that they see as left wing, and for all MPs of a left wing persuasion to be removed and replaced with right wing ones.

Articles often have odd angles, such as reporting that Fiona Bruce had been appointed new presenter of Question Time on the BBC, but focusing on who she was married to (Headline: "Fiona Bruce husband REVEALED: Who is Fiona Bruce married to? FIONA Bruce will be the new host of BBC's Question Time after David Dimbleby steps down tonight. But who is Fiona Bruce married to?"). Or "DONALD TRUMP will tonight address the entire United States government in the annual State of the Union speech, but is he the tallest US president? Donald Trump age and height: Is Donald Trump the tallest US president?"

Readers who use the Daily Express to understand the world are conditioned into believing anything, no matter if it is untrue. A headline, "Meghan Markle to have 'gender fluid' baby - Duchess to insist on being 'co-parent' NOT mum" drew outrage and sneering condemnation of Ms Markle's "PC lunacy", despite the whole thing being made up by Piers Morgan and not "fact" in any form understood by thinking people. Ms Markle is a constant source of anger for many loons, her ethnicity being a real sticking point, and leading to criticism of every aspect of her appearance and perceived personality. Readers refused to believe that she was really pregnant, accusing her of using a cushion (the "evidence" being that it changed size, unlike a real pregnancy, obviously) and with a surrogate behind the scenes. "Peak loon" was reached when it was announced that Ms Markle and Prince Harry were to visit Morocco and readers believed that this was where they planned to kidnap a black baby and pass it off as their own ("The baby has to come from somewhere......too obvious what the plan here is...."; "It's a little TOO obvious. Morocco a country known for tr.a.f.ick.ing"; "Morocco is the country Obamas "rented" out their 2 from. Racially mixed and human-trafficking hub. Transparent agenda").

Shortly after the birth, readers continued to squint sourly at photos for clues, no matter how minor (or imaginary) in order to criticise her shoes, clothes, body shape, expression; and the fact that Prince Harry was holding the baby in the first official photo being proof that she no longer cared about it. Prince Harry's first short statement to the media was in a yard at Windsor Castle, but shortly after he started speaking he was asked to move to a position in front of stables for better photographs. This was of course proof, according to a couple of Express readers, that Meghan Markle was a megalomaniac who thought that her baby was like Jesus. And the official first images of the baby immediately drew from three unhinged readers the accusation that it was tightly swaddled not to keep it warm but to disguise the "fact" that it was one of those rubber collector dolls and that there had been no real pregnancy.

Express readers could barely disguise their racist hate for Meghan Markle, but when challenged denied that their hate for her had anything to do with the colour of her skin and everything to do with her being American. They somewhat undermined their position when they suggested that names for her baby should be Winston, Mandela, Um Bongo, Ooga Booga or LeeRoy, that it "probably has an afro", and to "give it a banana". One, showing touching concern for the baby, wrote, "pale, thank god" when a photo was published. The Express website did its best to goad its most racist readers into continuing frothing hate, with multiple articles under misleading headlines (see above). "Royal baby: How Prince Philip reacted with SAVAGE comment after birth revelation" actually referred to his reaction a mere 71 years earlier on the birth of his own son, Charles, but was clearly intended to trigger its readers into gleeful joy at the idea that Philip might have made one of his notorious racist comments about the new, mixed-race Royal baby. And it did.

Following this success the Express repeated the exercise with multiple headlines, all deliberately misleading, but intended to trigger dim readers: Royal baby REVELATION: How the Queen 'told crude JOKE' after meeting a royal baby [referring to Prince William in 1982]...Prince Philip royal baby name SHOCK: How Duke was FURIOUS over surname change [referring to the Duke being unable to give Prince Charles his own surname in 1952]...Prince Harry WARNED: Duke in 'DANGER' after royal baby announcement – 'Palace is LYING'...and several more.

Frequent (sometimes daily) articles warn about the threat of asteroid impacts, breathlessly informing readers that a large rock, measured in multiples of double-decker buses or Big Bens, will come perilously close to Earth. On 22 November 2018 they ran the terrifying headline "NASA asteroid WARNING: 390 FOOT asteroid bigger than Big Ben on ‘Earth Approach’ on SUNDAY. A GIANT asteroid larger than Big Ben’s clock tower and the Statue of Liberty will zip past the planet on Sunday, NASA has warned." After much dramatic comment about the size of the asteroid and how much damage it could do if it struck Earth, tucked away at the very end was the admission that it would pass at a distance of 5,800,000 km, the equivalent of a car "dangerously passing" a pedestrian at a distance of 290,000 km. This template may be applied to EVERY Daily Express article about asteroid danger, the words "NASA warns" to be read as "NASA informs". Online reader responses never vary, hoping that the asteroid will hit the House of Lords, the House of Commons, EU headquarters, or whichever politician/actor/singer/public figure is currently hated by them.

The online version of the Daily Express seems to attract many readers with usernames and avatars suggesting an interest in 1930s German politics or Nordic warriors, or simply a hyper-patriotic enthusiasm for England. Their comments are a charming melange of support for far right sentiment and a perfectly reasonable and understandable dislike of non-English human beings. Most articles about Jews or the Holocaust have comments blocked, to prevent the torrent of legally actionable neo-Nazi opinion that is inevitable with Express readers.

Articles about refugees attempting to reach Britain invariably draw comments suggesting that the most sensible and practical solutions would be a high wall bristling with barbed wire (and machine guns and landmines) around the entire British coastline, equipping coastguard ships with machine guns and the authority to riddle boats and refugees with bullets, fitting swords to the wheels of Channel Tunnel trains, allowing refugees to enter the Channel Tunnel on foot before deliberately flooding it, and one particularly imaginative suggestion; filling the English Channel with sharks and crocodiles.

In early 2018 the Express was bought by Mirror Group, owners of the traditionally left wing Daily Mirror. However, to avoid alienating the rabid right wing readership, the Express online edition continued to run dog-whistle articles on race, Islam, Brexit and immigration, enabling readers to continue working themselves up into mouthfoaming rage. Even slight reductions in the overtly racist tone were noticed by the readers, however, prompting comments that Express was now a "lefty rag" or even "far left garbage". The paper version was toned down slightly more, as the new Editor realised just how appalling a rag it had been under the previous ownership.

The incoherent rage shown by readers towards the EU included the definitely true and not at all made up fact that the EU had chosen 12 stars for the EU flag because stars are a symbol of Satan. Those insisting that the EU chose stars "instead of dots" because they are Satanists had clearly not paid attention to the US flag, which presumably is more than 4 times as Satanic .

As the date for Brexit loomed, Daily Express online ran endless stories of "betrayal", "threats", "invasion" etc that had little connection with reality, so that easily-led readers worked themselves into a seething fury, making endless comments about "treason trials", "quislings" and armed uprisings if they didn't get the Brexit they wanted, and making increasingly hysterical calls for anyone who voted against Brexit to be hanged, imprisoned for treason, or deported, as soon as Britain had left the EU. One reader believed that "Europe will be a colony of the UK within 20 years", and another stated "The British will not be prisoners in foreign hands without a fight to the death!" while another said "And it will be worth it! My life will end fighting for my Country against evil invaders and Traitors! Thank God something great is going to happen in our mundane boring EU controlled Country!" There were calls for the Army to demolish the Houses of Parliament and hand MPs over to Brexiters for punishment, and some stated that the SAS would side with The People and do nasty things on their behalf. Some readers hinted at knowledge of secret far right plans to do something drastic on behalf of "patriots" at some point in the future ("soon", "any time now", "it's coming" or "now it begins"), and veiled threats to those who disagreed ("when 'Cobweb' begins you better hide").

Sample from 16 January 2019 (usernames redacted): "Personally, I'm quite looking forward to civil war and taking back our country street by street. If the remoaners want to destroy our country, they will have to shut their gobs and fight for it". "I look forward to using my pump action shotgun against leavers. Stocking up with enough ammunition to fight WW3". "I suppose lynching is out of the question". "Don't give up so easily! They'll swing for treason yet". "...plenty of lamp posts available. This would be carried out to protect our democracy so not unreasonable". "...it is coming back in fashion,driven by the need to punish our traitors". "Levell (sic) Dresden again that will shut the dirty GERMS UP", "build those gallows in parliament square,and let the traitor hangings begin", "Time for these fools to be lynched...Time to sort this filth", "The time has come to storm Parliament and drag these remoaner Mp's from the house with ropes around their necks and throw them over Westminster Bridge and leave them hanging.." and so on.

Reporting such comments made little difference.

Despite being keen to destroy London and kill as many people as they could for democracy, the following month they were outraged at disruption to public transport by a climate change protest. Furious that it was lefties holding up trains instead of purple-faced Brexit voters burning the Houses of Parliament and hanging MPs, readers demanded that the train drivers run the protestors over, and police use live bullets on them.

Woo

Like most tabloids, the Express has engaged in its fair share of sensationalist woo and conspiracy-peddling often in the form of "just asking questions", or sometimes from "nutritionists" masquerading as dieticians. This is not surprising, as Joy Desmond – wife of proprietor Richard Desmond, both of whom dictate the Express' content based on their own interests – often retweets from "@ILLUMINATI" on Twitter.

Example stories

• WATCH: Alien invasion fears as giant three-legged construction 'attacks city'
• Could this strange corpse be the world's first proof aliens have visited Earth?
• Are these alien skulls? New DNA tests on Elongated Paracas Skulls could 'change history'
• How to stop Trump? Barack Obama to be 'last US President' after revealing 'aliens exist'
• SHOCK BIBLE CLAIM: Jesus was NOT crucified – it was actually JUDAS on the cross
• REVEALED: This Large Hadron Collider discovery could REWRITE the laws of physics
• Does hand sign made by Merkel, May and now Juncker prove there is a secret EU illuminati?

European Commission President Jean Claude Juncker was the latest EU bigwig to be photographed "giving the code" after he was snapped with his hands in the rhombus shape - known as a [Angela] Merkel Diamond – while talking to Queen Mathilde of Belgium and King Philippe of Belgium during the Te Deum mass at the Cathedral of St. Michael and St. Gudula in Brussels, Belgium, yesterday. It comes after new British Prime Minster Theresa May was pictured separately making the same hand gesture earlier this month. [...] Conspiracy theory website illuminatiRex lists the diamond sign as number one out of a top-ten of illuminati signs, with Mrs Merkel given her own section for doing it in reverse, in what it describes as the Merkel Raute.

• SHOCK CLAIM: Large Hadron Collider 'shut down after causing massive earthquake'

Conspiracy theorists claim the huge scientific installation, triggered a magnitude seven earthquake in Vanuatu, in the south Pacific which was so strong it was described as "shaking the planet". [...] Other theories include its potential to pull an asteroid into the planet, and even that it is run by illuminati scientists, hell bent on opening a portal to bring the devil back to Earth. None of the above, however, are scientifically proven.

• EXTRAORDINARY CLAIM: Footage of possible ‘REAL alien found on the dark web’

YouTube UFO and conspiracy theory channels have been airing the video that was reportedly filmed in 1992 in Eiger, Switzerland, and shows what appears to be a body with an alien-like over-sized head, large eyes, small, spindly arms, and torso – much like the stereotypical image of an alien. ... However, Express.co.uk can report the footage is nothing more than an old hoax from 2008 that is being re-shared on alien conspiracy YouTube channels. Brett and Blake Cousins re-posted the video on their Thirdphaseofmoon channel, and it was also shared by Secureteam10.

Knowing that their readership contains many UFO nuts, articles are tweaked accordingly. A probe planned to be sent to Jupiter's moon Europa to drill below the surface in a search for single-celled organisms was reported by the Express as "NASA plans to find ALIENS near Jupiter using NUCLEAR powered drill", complete with image of a Close Encounters type humanoid . A child's silver balloon, complete with string, was filmed by someone dishonest who claimed that it was flashing when it was simply his camera's focus failing to lock onto the object but the Express happily ran the story of it being a UFO larger than a plane.

Readers appear unable to decide whether Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin actually did walk on the Moon and saw an alien city but it was covered up by NASA, or if they didn't go to the Moon and the Moon landings were all faked in a studio/on Devon Island/in Nevada and it was covered up by NASA.

In the knowledge that their readers generally lack any kind of scientific understanding, the online version of the Express runs regular stories about the non-existent "planet Nibiru", linking actual research into likely outer "planet X" with Biblical prophesy, the pronouncements of doomsday eccentrics, and other conspiracy sources. An internet search for "Daily Express Nibiru" brings up dozens of examples of their crackpot nonsense. The date of Nibiru's attack on Earth keeps changing, when each claimed date passes with no cataclysm, but enthusiasm for such stories isn't dampened. Nibiru is reported variously to be hiding behind the Moon, cloaked to be invisible, moving around the Solar System in ways that defy gravity, and controlled by aliens who implanted chips into select humans so that they could warn the rest of us that the Rapture is coming when Nibiru finally arrives. The 2017 article "BRIAN COX ON NIBIRU: TV scientist breaks silence over Planet X end of the world prophecy" simply copied his tweet refuting the whole thing, but readers were not entirely convinced, writing, "This is the great deception. I'm a scientist and only started to realise the truth a couple of months ago. This story is half truth half lies (as with most things you hear). I'd urge you to do your own research beyond mainstream science. But there is not long left, please don't be ignorant, for your own sake", "like the boy who cried Wolf when it does arrive no one will believe and it will be too late","Firstly a sign doesn't do anything, it only lets you know where you are and what to expect, a Stop sign doesn't press the brake pedal, the sign described in Revelation 12 has taken place, if you read it you will see all of the other events are also takeing place, planet 7x, or Nemesis is in our solar system I have filmed it, I'm on Davypatt1 in you tube, that planet come up on the horizon at 6:30 in September 2017 ,Zeta Talk on you tube, gives an account of the effects on planet earth this planet will have, go look" and "NASA is pushing the Nibiru story because they want to divert people realising that we have NEVER been to the moon and that the earth is flat".

A simple internet search for "time traveller daily express" shows that from 2018 an increasing number of stories feature "time travellers" who put self-made videos on YouTube, claiming to be from the years 2055 or 2087 or 3000, and bearing witness to terrible future events like nuclear war or alien invasion, or occasionally positive developments like alien computer/human hybrids who can live forever. As proof these time travellers often show blurry video on their cellphone that they recorded in a future city, some of which resemble scenes from sci-fi movies if examined closely .

Rivalry with the Daily Mail

The Daily Express has a long-running rivalry with the Daily Mail, more than likely because the two are very similar in their right-wing editorial stances, viewpoints and target markets. The two papers frequently attack each other's credibility, many Express front pages including the inane slogan "20p less expensive than the Daily Mail, and ten times better." Although being "ten times better" than the Daily Mail is no hard feat, the Daily Express fail to deliver upon this promotion by simply taking all of the positions of the Daily Mail and making their own ten times more extreme, showing a clear misunderstanding of the word "better".

Surely she can't still be dead?

The ultimate Express nonsense trifecta: Diana, Brexit and bad things happening in France, because Muslims (July 2017)

Just as the Daily Mail has its thing about cancer, The Express has its equivalent in the late Princess Diana. Despite having died in 1997, pictures of Diana regularly feature on the front page of The Express - presumably to boost flagging sales. This is repeatedly parodied almost everywhere, from pages in Private Eye to Russell Howard on British panel show Mock The Week declaring an average Express headline as

“”"DON'T GO OUTSIDE! IT'S FULL OF QUEERS, BLACKS AND CRIME! OH, IF ONLY DIANA WAS HERE..."

This isn't just an odd observation jumped on by comedians; it's notable enough for even Wikipedia to mention it as a serious point, and not even the anniversary of the the 7/7 attacks could stop Diana from being front-page news. This stopped for a while in 2007 when Madeleine McCann became the poster girl for the paper, but as you can see below, they're still churning out the old Diana front-page stories.

• You also have to wonder how long it will be until they run out of photos. We can (and do) live without her, you know.
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  17 Sep. 2009

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  18 Sep. 2009

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  21 Sep. 2009

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  26 Sep. 2009

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  24 Oct. 2009

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  23 Nov. 2009

The Express is also notable for propagating a number of conspiracy theories regarding the late princess' death – mostly eminating from Mohammed Al-Fayed, a close friend of Express proprietor Richard Desmond – usually claiming that MI5, MI6, the Metropolitan Police or some other organ of the security forces was responsible for Diana's death, and that there was a huge coverup disguising this fact. The ghost of Princess Di also supports Brexit, of course.

See also

• Traditional values
• British National Party
• Princess Diana (is this gag getting old?)