Netherlands

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There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch.
—Michael Caine, Austin Powers in Goldmember

Holland The Netherlands is a small, mostly urban, and very liberal European nation located west of Germany on the North Sea. Historically, it has been known for legal weed and hookers its vast trade wealth, ingenious system of land reclamation, Protestant theologians, strong welfare state, and (in a similar vein) its staunch Calvinism. In the modern era it is noted, in varying degrees depending on what social philosophy you subscribe to, for its notoriously egalitarian social mores and its enviable standard of living and permissive abortion laws.

Although the country is commonly called "Holland", technically, Holland is only the name of two of the twelve provinces of the Netherlands, namely North and South Holland.

How the Dutch went from being one of the most dour people ever to walk the face of the earth to being as extremely liberal as they are today is probably a long story, but it might be important to realise that most Dutch don't see their state as very liberal or progressive in the way some Americans do.

The Netherlands was a hodgepodge of cities and principalities until united under the Duke of Burgundy in 1433. When the Burgundian Duchy passed to Charles V the Holy Roman Emperor, so did the Netherlands. Charles was succeeded by his son Philip II of Spain, and so the Netherlands became a Spanish territory. Charles had been born in the Low countries city of Ghent, but Philip had only lived there 4 years and was uninterested in the area. When the reformation came to the Netherlands the resulting friction with Catholic Spain resulted in the 80 years war (1568-1648), and the independence of the northern provinces of the Netherlands as the Dutch Republic, more or less the same area of the modern Kingdom of the Netherlands. After Holland became independent, the majority of the Dutch people became Calvinists. The Dutch were tolerant of minorities and religious groups that moved there to escape persecution in their own countries.

Since the 1960s Christianity has declined in Holland. Only a minority today believe in a personal god. They allow euthanasia with safeguards, and they tolerate “soft drugs” which are not considered worse than alcohol. In 2001, Holland became the first country in the world to recognize gender-neutral marriage. In terms of religion and religious controversies, the Netherlands' most notable citizens include the Islamophobic campaigner Geert Wilders,[1] feminist (yet weirdly anti-asylum) Ayaan Hirsi Ali, and the murdered filmmaker Theo van Gogh.[2]

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[edit] Toeristische attracties

The Netherlands is a beautiful country with a rich heritage and much to see. It was the home of Vincent Van Gogh, Anne Frank and others, and has many miles of picturesque countryside, along with a great selection of museums and other cultural landmarks. You can spend many years in the Netherlands and still not see it all! But you're going there just to smoke weed, aren't you?

Half the Netherlands has been concreted over in recent years. Some have suggested, the wrong half.

[edit] Wiet en hoeren

As any Dutchman abroad will immediatly notice, the Netherlands are mainly known abroad for niche-products like 'whores' and 'weed'. Meeting a foreigner (especially from the Anglophone countries) will often result in well-meant but ultimately awkward jokes about the Dutch people's apparant godlessness and marijuana abuse. Especially people from the U.S. think it's one big theme park over there: this may or may not have something to do with the 1994 'documentary' Sex, Drugs and Democracy, a film that presents the Netherlands as some kind of cooky caricature of a functioning country, where disabled people can visit Affirmative action brothels while smoking weed on government benefits and everybody's loving it!! Regretfully, visiting sex-workers in the Netherlands is not very different in social stigma than elsewhere in the Western world and most of the Dutch just work regular jobs and do regular things. It's mostly tourists who frequent Amsterdam's Red Light District, mind you. The Netherlands aren't even that liberal any more when it comes to prostitution, with several Red Light Districts across the country coming under increasing pressure by conservative politicians.

Coffeeshops are having hard times as well; new regulations on the distance between coffeeshops and schools forced a lot of inner city shops to close in the late 2000's and a 2011/2012 attempt to exclude non-Dutch from buying weed by making official registration in a coffeeshop mandatory nearly took down the liberal drug policy. If a Dutch national registered in a coffeshop, he or she would then receive a 'Weed-pass' and was only allowed to buy weed in his/her registred coffeeshop. A 'Weed-pass' pilot program was tested in the south of the Netherlands starting in may 2012, but failed spectacularly. Coffeshops lost a large part of their costumers, especially Dutch nationals who didn't want to register, and street dealers would simply wait in front of coffeeshops to pick up rejected tourists and sell em 'some good stuff'. Drug related crime and violence rose sharply within weeks, especially in the city of Maastricht.[3] Under loud complaints by majors, coffeshop-owners and police the Weed-pass was repealed in october 2012 and once again the streets of the Southern Netherlands are infested with stoned French teenagers and Bob Marley wannabe's.[4] Go freedom!

Research by the Institute of Health and Environment (a government bureau) in 2011 and 2012 showed that about 25,7% of Dutch above 15 had ever smoked weed in their life, albeit only once, and about 7% of the Dutch population had smoked weed in the last year. While this may sound like a lot to some, it's a perfectly average number for an European country.[5] Also, selling weed is officially illegal in the Netherlands; the police just doesn't arrest people for it. Yeah, it's complicated...

[edit] Hollandaise sauce

The Holland Tunnel entrance, complete with fascist instructions.
  • "They said, 'fly to Amsterdam', where the people laughed but the press went mad" - Complete Control, The Clash.
  • Jools Holland is an English piano playing kind of musician, but pretty much a telly presenter these days. He used to wear a piano jacket.
  • The Holland Tunnel goes nowhere near Holland, but it does go below sea level.
  • Eggs Benedict.
  • "In Amsterdam there lived a maid...who was always takin' a sailor's pay/I'll go no more a-roamin' with you, fair maid." - Traditional (English) Morris Song
  • Back of an envelope - H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope our love lasts and never dies
  • John Wayne's nickname was "Dutch" even though he was 'Mercan
  • "Going Dutch" (from "Dutch treat") means paying your own way on a date. It also means she probably won't put out.
  • A Dutch Oven is a big heavy cooking pot that you can put on a fire, or put inside a conventional oven. And that's all it is. The phrase has no other meaning whatsoever.
  • "Dutch Courage" is gin.
  • "Double Dutch" is ttalloy untillengible.

[edit] Nationale legendes

  • The boy who put his finger in the dyke. (Who is more American folklore then Dutch legend)

[edit] Externe links

[edit] Voetnoten

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