Essay:Health effects of bacon

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The result of too much bacon

Bacon is a liberal, immoral substance. It can cause heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, coronary artery disease, high cholesterol, and other problems. Many people in the Western world insist on eating this rubbish. According to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, bacon can cause chronic obstructive pulmonary disease because of the preservative sodium nitrite.

Eating large quantities of cured meats like bacon could damage lung function and increase the risk of lung disease. Eating processed meat like bacon, sausage and deli meats is associated with a huge risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes.

Bacon was prohibited by God, but many Christians consume it regularly because Christ apparently "eliminated" the law, rather than "adding to it".

"Bacon mania" is the passionate zeal Americans have over bacon. Many on this website suffer from it, apparently. Bacon possesses six ingredient types of umami, which elicits an addictive neurochemical response.

Bacon is a prominent feature in many American diets. Some sandwiches, including Wendy's Baconator features six or more strips!!

Eeeeeeeew, raisin bran, he cries. Soon, he has a heart attack since he ate bacon for breakfast. Oh the humanity! How will they ever pay for their liberal bias?

Ooooooooh, I wanna heart attack!
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