A fart is the term given to the expulsion of a mixture of gases through the rectum in mammals. The noises attributed to farting are caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter and sometimes the closed butt cheeks, meaning that music can be made by farts if one learns how to control one's butt cheeks.
 What makes a fart?
What doesn't? Seriously though...
A fart is composed of:
- 20%-90% nitrogen,
- 0%-50% hydrogen,
- 10%-30% carbon dioxide,
- 0%-10% oxygen,
- 0%-10% methane***,
- Trace amounts of extremely smelly sulfur compounds.
Farts are caused by a mixture of air inhaled through the nose or mouth and gases produced in the digestive system by incomplete digestion or dependent on the type of food being eaten. The different smells attributed to farts are often related to the food consumed by the individual in the hours before digestion takes place, and are produced by hydrogen sulfide (H2S - "eggy") and Methanethiol (CH3SH - "cabbagey").
***NOTE: Not all people are methane producers. Meaning, there are people whose farts have little to no scent. It is believed that HM Queen Elizabeth II's farts are odourless, possibly as the result of centuries of selective breeding.
 Farts in popular culture
 As a joke
Farts are frequently viewed in Western culture as something of a juvenile joke. They are very popular in low-brow comedy programmes which increases this belief, although even grown men and women are known to laugh endlessly when someone farts in a most inappropriate time. However, it is generally considered inappropriate and bad-mannered to fart in the vicinity of other people in
certain most basically all social situations. Nonetheless, some people don't take this into consideration.
 When not to fart
Farting in any of the following social situations is - generally - frowned upon:
- On a plane
- In an elevator
- At the dinner table
- On dates
- When meeting an intimate partner's parents for the first time
- At a funeral
- At a wedding
- At church in general (Christians don't like farts. They are juvenile, atheistic, and liberal.)
- During a presentation
- In a business meeting
- In a job interview
- When meeting the Queen of England for the first time (after that it's OK)
- During sexual intercourse
- In a library
- During academic examinations
- In a cave or mine tunnel. Seriously, do not try this!
 What to do if you have farted
If you have farted there are many actions one can take. This generally depends on the company. If you have farted in an elevator do not move, stare straight ahead and do not speak. Any kind of movement will be interpreted as guilt. If with friends and you fart at first do not say anything. While the jury is out on whether to immediately blame someone or to wait until someone else brings up so you can blame them you'll still go through three phases (caveat: your friends may operate under the common "he who smelt it dealt it" mentality) -
- Deny that it was you
- Accuse someone else/Blame the family dog
- Admission that it was you
When with your significant other it is common practice to fart on their face and laugh like a giddy schoolgirl.
 Who farts more often, men or women?
According to Oprah.com  in a scientific experiment conducted by Dr. Jeff Leach, two experimental subjects put on special rubber pants with tubes attached. The expulsive gas was directed into airtight bags strapped to their backs. After 24 hours, the gas was released into a measuring jug. The woman subject produced 3 liters, while the man produced 3.3 liters.
 Technical farting
These methods are only for advanced practitioners.
 Pull my finger
Ask someone to pull your finger, and when they do, let loose a ripper (when with your significant other this can be replaced with "pull my knob").
 Dutch oven
Fart in bed, seal partner's head under covers.
 Crop dusting
Can be done walking down a nearly empty hallway or grocery aisle. Works best when you've worked up a fairly large amount of gas (in the Silent But Deadly form), and swiftly walk down the hallway/aisle while expending your "pesticides".
 Workplace shenanigans
This works best if people either don't know what you ate for lunch, or had the same thing.
- The "drive by" - polluting another person's work space in such a fashion that you are long gone before they notice.
- Set 'em up and knock 'em down - an advanced version, wherein your goal is to get someone else blamed. Requires careful planning.
 Car bombing
Popularized on The Sarah Silverman Show, this involves leaving a serious "breakfast burrito" flavored gift behind in a car that is sealed up and left in the sun all day for your significant other to enjoy.
 Well known farters
- ↑ http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/health/slideshow1_ss_oz_20071001_350/11
- ↑ Science has been restored to its rightful place in society.