Fun:Biblical longevity conspiracy theory

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Noah and his firstborn offsprings were allegedly keeping the mechanism of longevity a secret and were covering that up!

Contents

[edit] The conspiracy theory

[edit] Longevity

Well, Noah and his firstborn offsprings are living for ridiculously long, as seen in this article.

[edit] Secret to longevity

One would resonably expect if there are speciments that lived ridiculously long, someone would explore that to compile some form of "secret to longevity"[1] (Whether it works or not) and sell it for profit/power (see alternative medicine)

Here are the arguments for the existence for such secret of longevity:

  1. Languages are available: assuming Tower of Babel happens before God's call to Abraham, languages are available to record things.
  2. There is an abundance of specimens that lived ridiculously long (Noah and selected offsprings) and an abundance of people (observers) who don't (normal people who don't live more than 120 years)
  3. People are interested in recording "perculiar observations"[2] and trying to find relationship to things[3]
  4. The notion that the observer will be very tempted to ask the specimen questions such as "Great-great-great uncle[4] Shem, why do I look older than you?"
  5. The notion that some specimens will be very tempted to ask their ancestors questions such as "Great-great-great grandpa[5] Shem, why do I look older than you?"
  6. Refuted natural causes: Genetic dilution [6] is not believed to be the cause of the lack of longevity of everyone else, because Arphaxad, Salah, and Eber all have similar lifespans. In addition, genetics is believed not to be the case because otherwise we would have drastic degradation in the seed of these people after the first male child (even with replacement wives), which suggests an odd way of nature at work.[7] This is listed to indicate that longevity is accomplishable through actions and not inherited.
  7. One would also expect that God would not implement the reduction of life expectancy in stages, since God blatantly refused to eliminate evil people on this world in stages.[8]

[edit] Alledged cover-up

(Please add more scenarios as appropriate)

  • Bible has nothing mentioned about the reason that these people are living for more than 120 years[9], despite God's decree to limit on human lifespan.
  • Given 2. above, one of the following would be likely to happen:
    • Racism at work: the group who outnumbers the other group kills off the "abomination" (or whatever the victor will claim afterwards)
      • Eventually shows up in the conquest for Israel, but the difference in life expectancy becomes negligible by then.
    • (From 2. and 3.)The two groups observe each other to see what's different between the two groups in terms of lifestyle.
  • If observation did happen and questions(From 4., 5.) are asked, either one of the following would happen:
    • The observed differences will be reformulated (From 3.) it as some kind of herbal supplement or other alternative medicine and sell them for profit. (This is from the point of view of those short-lived people)
    • One would expect such observations to be recorded somewhere, and possibly reinterpreted (From 3.) in order to gain power[10] (This is from the point of view of the long-lived people)
  • No such secret to longevity exists (at least till much later and there are abundant signs of the newer ones being totally made-up or being independently developed)

Conclusion: apparently the long-lived people's views survived[11], and any questions asked about it is promptly supressed.

[edit] Suggested explanations

  • The secret of longevity was eaten by the goats,[12] and the sections of the Bible dealing with this issue was therefore missing.

[edit] See also

[edit] Footnotes

  1. Unless of course, people don't mind dying.
  2. For example, the Bible
  3. See Jacob and genetics and the lecture by Andy Thomson
  4. After the flood we only have inbreds spawned by various sons of Noah. Japheth's descendants and Ham's descendants do not live for longer than 120 years
  5. If you do the math correctly, Shem dies after almost all his progeny, up to and including Abraham (Only exception is Eber)
  6. For the purpose of this article it is defined as having kids with a woman whose life expectancy is less than 120 years, thereby polluting the genes of the children with the woman who don't live very long.
  7. This view may be in line with promotion of abstinence (if you have too much sex, your next child will be defective)
  8. See the great flood
  9. No, Not even in passing
  10. If you live that long it's easier for you to claim that you are the next savior/prophet. See also starting a new religion.
  11. The evidence is the Bible is the surviving opinion.
  12. Afterall, they should have a massive number of goats a couple of hundred years after the flood, if you interpolate the growth rate from seven at the end of the flood to have modern day numbers.
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