Fun:Conservapedia, The Musical/Moody

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By caius (orator), a big fan of Ruddigore

Very Bad Lyrics Written By Someone With No Talent[edit]

Chorus is a chorus of homeschoolers.

  • TK: Oh, why am I crazy and bad?
  • Chorus: Can't guess!
  • TK: And why am I insane and a cad?
  • Chorus: Confess!
  • TK: Because I am thoroughly MAD!
  • Chorus: Oh yes �
  • TK:You'll see it at once in my face. Oh, why am I dumb as a horse?
  • Chorus: Ah, why?
  • TK: It's the beating of puppies, of course.
  • Chorus: Fie, fie!
  • TK: I do it without much remorse!
  • Chorus: Oh my!
  • TK:At least that is so in my case!
  • TK:When your lies you have fully deployed
  • Chorus: Like you �
  • TK:As a sysop you'll soon be employed
  • Chorus: It do.
  • TK: But my penalty none can avoid!
  • Chorus: How true!
  • TK:I would like a nice-looking youth (stage direction - eyes Bethany).... But like Zeus' own thunderbolt!
  • Chorus: (explaining to each other) No dice...
  • TK:I rush at those stupid old dolts!
  • Chorus: (explaining to each other) That's vice!
  • TK:Observe the unpleasant results! (stage direction - random liberal collapses, screaming)
  • Chorus: Not nice.
  • TK:Indeed, I rarely tell the truth!
  • TK:Oh, innocent Ed Poor, just in time!
  • Ed, joining Chorus: That's me!
  • TK:If I had played along longer, I'm sure
  • Chorus: Like me �
  • TK:I should be as empowered as you're!
  • Chorus: May be.
  • TK:You are very well-powered indeed... Oh, innocents, listen in time!
  • Chorus: We doe,
  • TK:Avoid an existence of crime!
  • Chorus: Just so!
  • TK:Or you'll be as ugly as I'm!
  • Chorus: (loudly) No! No!
  • TK:And now, Andy's work, I'll impede.

Original Lyrics[edit]

  • SIR DESPARD: Oh, why am I moody and sad?
  • CHORUS: Can't guess!
  • SIR DESPARD: And why am I guiltily mad?
  • CHORUS: Confess!
  • SIR DESPARD: Because I am thoroughly bad!
  • CHORUS: Oh yes �
  • SIR DESPARD:You'll see it at once in my face. Oh, why am I husky and hoarse?
  • CHORUS: Ah, why?
  • SIR DESPARD: It's the workings of conscience, of course.
  • CHORUS: Fie, fie!
  • SIR DESPARD: And huskiness stands for remorse,
  • CHORUS: Oh my!
  • SIR DESPARD:At least it does so in my case!
  • SIR DESPARD:When in crime one is fully employed �
  • CHORUS: Like you �
  • SIR DESPARD:Your expression gets warped and destroyed:
  • CHORUS: It do.
  • SIR DESPARD:It's a penalty none can avoid;
  • CHORUS: How true!
  • SIR DESPARD:I once was a nice-looking youth; But like stone from a strong catapult �
  • CHORUS: (explaining to each other) A trice �
  • SIR DESPARD:I rushed at my terrible cult �
  • CHORUS: (explaining to each other) That's vice �
  • SIR DESPARD:Observe the unpleasant result!
  • CHORUS: Not nice.
  • SIR DESPARD:Indeed I am telling the truth!
  • SIR DESPARD:Oh, innocent, happy though poor!
  • CHORUS: That's we �
  • SIR DESPARD:If I had been virtuous, I'm sure �
  • CHORUS: Like me �
  • SIR DESPARD:I should be as nice-looking as you're!
  • CHORUS: May be.
  • SIR DESPARD:You are very nice-looking indeed! Oh, innocents, listen in time �
  • CHORUS: We doe,
  • SIR DESPARD:Avoid an existence of crime �
  • CHORUS: Just so�
  • SIR DESPARD:Or you'll be as ugly as I'm�
  • CHORUS: (loudly) No! No!
  • SIR DESPARD:And now, if you please, we'll proceed.