Fun:Conservapedia Gala
The following will give you a good impression of how Conservapedians behave... and we hope, a good laugh too. Enjoy!
Contents |
[edit] Top Ten Things overheard at the first Conservapedia Gala
10. "A conservative encyclopedia?--well, now I've seen everything"
9. "That Poor is much puffier in person"
8. "Deborah nachos here. Get your Deborah nachos"
7. "What on earth is Mr. Bean doing here? Oh, sorry Mr. Schlafly"
6. "How did Bohdan get the day off from Denny's?"
5. "Hey, who invited Ken?"
4. "Call 911! Andy's choking on a nacho!"
3. "What a lovely tan, Joaquin"
2. "Oh my God, that was no pinata -- that was really TK!"
1. "Karajou just finished cake number one -- wheel out the backup!"
[edit] Top Ten Announcements that would cause panic at a Conservapedia Gala
10. "Stop by the concession area and pick up Phyllis Schlafly's swimsuit calendar"
9. "Richard Dawkins will be signing copies of 'The God Delusion'"
8. "No guns allowed"
7. "And now to sing our national anthem, Andy Schlafly"
6. "Because of the Gala, 'The Golden Girls' will not be seen tonight"
5. "Please welcome a completely naked Ed Poor"
4. "Mrs. Schlafly, your husband's head is stuck in the podium again"
3. "Richard Nixon is out in the parking lot and he's pissed"
2. "Welcome, Mr. Toulouse"
1. "The caterer forgot the food"
[edit] Top Ten Ways to get yourself kicked out of a Conservapedia Gala
10. Walk around naked except for a strategically placed "Palin for 2012" button
9. Shout "I have prints of every thread from the Special Discussion Group!"
8. Give out Gift certificates for "Free backrub from Crocoite"
7. Every time you see a Phyllis Schlafly poster, say "I thought she was dead!"
6. Suggest that male sysops can have two minutes per speech and two hookers per room
5. Introduce Andy Schlafly as "El Gringo Estupido"
4. Yell "Clear a path to the buffet table! Ed's coming through!"
3. Surprise Bugler with playful yet powerful head butt
2. Announce over the microphone, "Mr. DeMyer, please meet your gay lover at entrance three"
1. Spread the rumor that RationalWiki editors might show up
[edit] Top Ten Things overheard at the Conservapedia 2nd Anniversary Party
10. "Yes Ken, I did get your e-mail"
9. "Mr. Smith, the pina coladas are for everybody"
8. "Check it out! A bullet just shattered my glass!"
7. "Hey Martinez! They need more ice water at tables 3 & 4!"
6. "Look at what I found in the pinata -- shredded Lensky documents"
5. "Look, PZ Myers! Nah, I'm just messin' with ya"
4. "This party sucks -- let's go to Joe's!"
3. "Very well, who's the silly troll who spiked the punch?"
2. "Conservapedia party? Sorry, Roger -- don't know anything about a Conservapedia party"
1. "There's Rayment -- Get him!"