Fun:Eric Clapton

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God in 33 A.D., rippin' some tunes, his band consisting of his 12 disciples not shown 1978. Gotta admit, he does look like Jesus.

Eric Clapton (born 1945) is The Living God Almighty As Detailed By Stoned (But Not So Persecuted Otherwise) Prophets a blues musician known for his guitar work. He played with John Mayall's Bluesbreakers, Yardbirds, Cream, Blind Faith, and Derek and the Dominoes, and had an extensive solo career. He also played the killer guitar solo on The Beatles' "While My Guitar Gently Weeps."

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[edit] Fun stuff

While he never claimed any supernatural abilities, only the true Messiah denies his divinity there was considerable graffiti in London due to his followers which simply stated that he was God. The writers of the graffiti may have been stoned at the time (and boy were those prophets stoned), but Clapton does have considerable talents, not too shabby for a deity that actually is real, unlike those of other religions.

Of the Yardbirds' guitarists, he is less weird (and less of a guitar player) than Jimmy Page, and a hell of a lot easier to get along with than Jeff Beck.

Some of his best blues work was with B. B. King on the album Riding with the King.

[edit] Serious stuff

His wife (Pattie Boyd) married George Harrison, or vice versa, a few times. Some of this emotional saga is documented in Clapton's song "Layla", and Harrison's bitter cover of "Bye, Bye Love". The song "Wonderful Tonight" is also about her, and while it sounds like a beautiful song about a young couple going out for a night on the town and enjoying the best in life, it was actually about him being sick and tired of her trying on clothes and could they just fucking leave already, they were going to be late!

He was the musical director of the very emotional tribute Concert for George, performed a year following Harrison's death.

He had a small drug problem, as evident by Beatles' song "Savoy Truffles" and his own song "Cocaine". But remember, the Jews wanted Jesus to be stoned for blasphemy too. Reportedly he is clean now.

He claimed sole credit for "Give Me Strength", a song that was written in 1939 by Chicago gospel singer-songwriter Louise King Mathews.[1] Mathews was financially disadvantaged and in the end could not afford to take the copyright matter to court.

In 1991 his four year-old son Conor fell out of the window of Clapton's 53rd story window onto the roof of an adjacent four-story building while playing hide-and-seek.[2] The tragedy inspired Clapton to write the song "Tears in Heaven", a song that can make even the strongest of atheists tear up.[3]

Clapton, who made his fortune playing music created by black people, was supportive of the English Birmingham-based racist Enoch Powell. He is reputed to have said in concert while extremely drunk in 1976:

Vote for Enoch Powell. Enoch's our man. I think Enoch's right, I think we should send them all back. Stop Britain from becoming a black colony. Get the foreigners out. Get the wogs out. Get the coons out. Keep Britain white. I used to be into dope, now I'm into racism. It's much heavier, man. Fucking wogs, man. Fucking Saudis taking over London. Bastard wogs. Vote for Enoch, he's our man, he's on our side, he'll look after us. I want all of you here to vote for Enoch, support him, he's on our side. Enoch for Prime Minister! Throw the wogs out! Keep Britain white![4]

Apparently God was racist.

[edit] See also

[edit] Footnotes

  1. Mike Royko, "Uncredited author of Clapton hit not outraged", The Calgary Herald, 11 June 1976, 45
  2. Would it be in bad taste to say that he won that game?
  3. The song itself. Even if you don't believe in a Heaven, it's still a beautiful piece of music. The truly ascetic depiction of heaven proves he is from there.
  4. http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Eric_Clapton (I know, it's Wikiquote, but his words did inspire the Rock Against Racism organization and other movements)
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