Fun:Evolution

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Pseudoscience Alert
This topic is a pseudoscience, and is not accepted by non-liberals as a valid discipline.
Although it may use scientific technobabble, it does not go well with Biblical literalism.
Remember: just because it sounds right doesn't mean it's actually right.
Evalution is absolut bullshit mde p by athiests bacuse tgey haye God nad wantoo kil Him.
—Typical victim of Fundy Homeskoolin'

Evolution is a convoluted theory (just a theory, nothing more!) created by Charles Darwin and his army of anti-American atheists. It states that cows gave birth to whales. Deceitful atheistic scientists created the complicated theory to make fundamentalists feel intellectually inferior when they couldn't quite understand it. Fundamentalists responded by quoting the Bible, a respected peer-reviewed science journal edited by homeschoolers holding PhDs in many respected scientific fields. The atheistic Darwinianists then had one hundred million people killed with their "theory".

Christians who believe in evolution aren't true Christians!

Contents

[edit] Criticisms

One of the major criticisms of the Theory of Evolution is that since Darwin's time, the theory has been rewritten, modified and changed in multiple ways, numerous times. This malleability of the facts is proof that the theory is incorrect. Science is an ongoing process and thus invalid when compared to divine inspiration, which got it right first time. According to silly evolutionists, the process of evolution takes millions of years, but everyone knows that the earth is only 6,000 years old! Evolutionists also think all this nonsense happens randomly due to mutations, which makes no sense because mutations are bad, not to mention that several of them and blind chance wouldn't end up with something that was clearly designed.

[edit] Racism

Charles Darwin once knocked into a black guy and didn't say excuse me. Therefore the theory is incorrect.

In addition, according to some conservative writers:
The true face of evolution?

[edit] Sexism

Charles Darwin once said "chairman" of the board instead of "chairperson". Therefore, science is evil.

[edit] Homophobia

Charles Darwin once made a gay joke. Therefore he agreed with creationists on the gay agenda.

[edit] Anteye/Intelecshualisum

Richwad Daktari Cahlres Dawrin wunce mispeeled teh Wurd antidisestablishmentariuhanism. Therfor. evalushun si rely rely rely notungoodly. Teh bilbe si muhc mor betturh.

The Holy Bible has been around for pretty much as long as the earth has. The oldest athience journal is only 100 years old therefore the Holy Bible is true and the lamestream media powered atheist oligarchy is all lies. If you read it you will end up in the lake of fire. How do you feel about that? I'll be laffing at you when you find out.

[edit] Not a monkee

My relatives were crated in the image of God, not monkees. Though sometimes I wonder about my brother-in-law. Clarence Darrow lost the monkee trial, even tho he said a lot of wurds to sound smart.

[edit] Nazism

Evolution promotes survival of the fittest, just like the Nazis did. Therefore evolution = Nazi.


[edit] Refutation of Athiestical logics

  1. All Athiests are evil.
  2. All Athiests believe in evilution.
  3. Therefore evilution is evil.

Checkmate, evilutionists!

[edit] The truth about evolution!

Tumbleweed.gif


[edit] See also

Necker cube.svg Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about Evolution.
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