Fun:Fishing

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Fishing is a fun thing to do on the weekend when you are not editing Rationalwiki.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Give a man a fishing rod and he’ll bore you for years on end. Give a man a computer and he'll shut himself in his room, and you won't see him for days... and weeks... and months. That's evolution in action for ya!

Contents

[edit] Catch these

Good species of fish to catch:

  • Northern pike and muskellunge
  • Bass, whatever size mouth they have
  • Trout of several varieties
  • Bluegills
  • Catfish (isn't that hunting?)
  • The one that smells like fish but tastes like chicken
  • Dolphins (aren't fish) | yes they are no they aren't, 'This fish is not related to the marine mammals also known as dolphins (family Delphinidae)'
  • Yellow perch
  • Walleye
  • Squirrel, the aquatic variety
  • Crappie
  • Salmon
  • Striped bass
  • Upright bass
  • Fontella Bass
  • Bottled Bass
  • Haddock
  • Lobster (if lobsters aren't fish, why do they call it "lobsterfishing"?)
  • Crab (ditto)
  • Starfish (ditto)
  • Shrimp (on second thought)
  • Cod
  • Sea kittens
  • Snapple Snapper
  • Sheepshead
  • Redfish
  • Bluefish
  • Spanish Mackerel

For the truly intrepid (and rich):

  • Swordfish
  • Tarpon
  • Marlin (not to be confused with Mr. Perkins!)
  • Bonefish (horny fuckers)
  • Permit (despite their name, quite prude)
  • Sharks Dammit, Jim, they're not fish! (They are, depends on how you define fish)
  • Grouper
  • Tuna

[edit] Not these

Please don't try to catch this fish.

Bad species of fish to catch:

  • Toilet sharks
  • Sewer trout
  • Loan sharks
  • Suckers
  • Lamprey eels
  • Hagfishes (unless you're really into mucus, in which case I don't want to know about it)
  • Chain pickerel
  • Electric eels or rays
  • Loch Ness Monsters
  • White whales
  • Great blue whales
  • Other colored whales
  • Lungfish (isn't that bordering on cannibalism?)
  • Lily pads and other weedery
  • Used condoms
  • Old tires
  • Old shoes
  • Tuna cans
  • Feces
  • Scuba divers
  • Swimmers
  • Life guards
  • Therian were-dolphins
  • Pacific Northwest Arboreal Octopus
  • Mermaids
  • Rocks
  • Alligators
  • Crocodiles
  • Flying Spaghetti Monsters
  • Seabirds
  • Manatees
  • Drunken pirates
  • Other people's lines
  • Other people
  • colds
  • Dogs (although casting into the neighbors' yard with a hot dog as bait could be humorous)
  • Cats (ditto, but with some chicken as bait)
  • Goats
  • STDs
  • Silverfish
  • Michael Fish
  • The crabs

[edit] The truth

Warning
This section may contain pseudoscience, weasel words, or unverified claims. Proceed with caution.

Fishing is the most boring, soul destroying, mindless, brain numbing, idle diversion known to humanity. Alternatively it is like hunting. It was originally a necessity for feeding the family back home, but has evolved into a means for the male human to avoid the female human, excuse him from any tasks which she might have for him to do over the weekend, allowing him to sit in a boat and drink beer all day instead. Anglers (as the perpetrators of this diversion like to name themselves) often claim to be combating the intelligence of the fish. If an animal with a brain the size of a pea is their best chance of winning, then — so be it!

[edit] The real truth

Somebody's just jealous. [1] And hunting is a fun thing to do on teh weekend too.

[edit] Not to be confused with

[edit] References

  1. http://www.metrolyrics.com/da-fish-fight-song-lyrics-da-yoopers.html
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