Liberal is a term that Americans mistakenly believe to mean "politically left." Liberal is also rendered as "Lieberal," "Lib'rul," "Libtard," "Leftard," "Socialist," "Commie," "Pinko," "Islamofascism enabler," "homo-lover," or "penisbone-stuffed butts" in different political circles.
 Typical lies about liberals
Liberals have been known to mock Jesus. Some liberals even slander Jesus by claiming that He was a liberal who helped the poor and, hear this, gave comfort to the wrong kinds of people. LIES, LIES, LIES!!! Everybody knows that Jesus wants all good (i.e. fundamentalist) Christians to be as wealthy as possible so they can afford to separate themselves from
contrary viewpoints sinners. Just tune into any televangelist's dog-and-pony show smoke and mirrors, sermon and they'll tell you so — especially if you send in a tax-deductible donation of $100 or more for which you'll receive a pocket-sized booklet explaining just how much God and Jesus want you to be rich and how to pray to Them for your well-deserved wealth.
Liberals love Islam because they hate Christianity. Some liberals have even said that they can't wait for Islam to take over America because these so-called feminists think that all women should wear burkas. Yes, it's all true!
The Institute for Jewish and Community Research, whoever they are, claims that Democratic voters disproportionally express anti-Semitic beliefs, partly because they are less likely to be educated than conservatives.
People with operative brain-cells claim otherwise.
 Classical liberals
Liberals are not to be confused with "classical liberals," who are basically libertarians bolstered with a less rigid dogmatism and a microscopic shred of common sense. (This is probably related to neoliberalism, in which policies are enacted to protect economic freedom and personal freedoms are usually left to their own devices.
 Modern liberals
Apparently some people who claim to be liberals believe that the role of government, as well as people in general, is to promote freedom of thought, as well as promoting people's positive liberties, which they consider to be best done by providing for the general welfare of all, while actively minimizing or preventing harm done to others. The right-wing would like you to know that such people do not exist, and in fact doesn't even know what to call them.
 A definitionpolitical philosopher and railway worker Philip J. Rayment:
"...'liberal' is used roughly-speaking to mean anybody who rejects the traditional Western values that have been derived from the West's reformed Christian heritage. As such, 'liberal' includes atheistss, agnostic, compromising Christians, people who's (sic) political views are along those lines also, and so forth. That's probably not a very precise definition, but then I'm not sure how precise a definition could be supplied anyway." —(PJR Ist April 2008)
When in doubt, this comparison may assist in distinguishing liberals from their counterparts:
- Conservatives care about themselves; screw everyone else.
- Liberals care about everyone; screw conservatives.
 Liberals and the revolutionary left
"Liberal" isn't only a term that drips with scorn and Gigeresque acidic bile from the lips of conservatives, but from many on the far/revolutionary left, as well. Mao Tse-Tung wrote his own anti-liberal pamphlet to match anything that the right has ever put out, the aptly named Combat Liberalism, while you can practically feel the scorn with which groups like the RCP regard liberalism, using it as a fairly universal prefix for "bad things." In this context, liberals are selfish, bourgeois, and valueless opponents to Marxism.
 In conclusion
Liberals are often communists, and are almost as genetically similar to human beings as chimpanzees, and since we all know evolution is a liberal scam, this means not human at all. They are characterized by a lack of religious morality, common sense, love for the common man, and an extreme hatred for the Goo Goo Dolls.
"Look, I'm an old lefty. The government must do for people what people can't do for themselves" —Green Arrow in Justice League Unlimited
 See also
- Debate:Liberal beliefs: Rembrandt.ryan, a libertarian, wanted to know how his perception of liberal beliefs lined up with the population here on RationalWiki. These are his results.
- Liberal/Misconceptions, a fisking of the Conservapedia article on liberalism
- Liberal Democrats
- Trade union
- Social democracy
- John Maynard Keynes, a known pedophile/homogay who all liberals worship for lack of a Christian God
 Brain power
All this is preliminary and not conclusive yet but there may be differences in the brains of conservatives and liberals. Basically conservatives are more emotional while liberals and other lefties are better at reasoning and analysis:
- ↑ Liberals vs Jesus
- ↑ Liberals Like Christ website
- ↑ And remember, when the Bible says "sin" or "sinner," it really means "liberalism" or "liberal."
- ↑ http://www.jewishresearch.org/PDFs/A_S_Report_web.pdf (page 1 as numbered)
- ↑ Which, because of corporate cost-cutting, tend to be barely or non-functional devices.
- ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Richard_Dawkins&diff=prev&oldid=418304
- ↑ http://www.marxists.org/history/erol/ncm-3/wvo-int-sit.htm